The Best Cover You've Never Seen--Moon Knight #24 (1982)

Sweet heaven, that's a cover.

Pencils and inks by Bill Sienkiewicz, of course.

Finding The Next Guardians

Well, if the Guardians Of The Galaxy film proved one thing, it's that Marvel can make a film out of pretty much any of its properties, no matter how obscure. If you write it well and direct it well (and advertise the living hell out of it and give it a bitchin' soundtrack), people will come.

And the (modern) Guardians comic proved that if you just take a bunch of random, underused characters (ahem LOSERS ahem) who really don't have any relation to each other and throw them together, that can work. A more successful version of the Defenders, it seems.

So I'm going to help Marvel find it's "next Guardians," the C and D characters who will rack of a few hundred million at the box office.

And to make it a challenge, I'm only going to use characters who've starred in Marvel Premiere and Marvel Spotlight, because that's a key breeding ground for losers.

Let's start with this guy...

...and his sister:

People keep forgetting that Disney owns Satan (at least, Marvel's version!)

People keep saying, "Demons are the new zombies," whatever that means. Well, if it's true, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is primed to take advantage, with a brother/sister act that makes Pietro and Wanda look like Sugar & Spike.

Next up:

I know, I know...but people said a talking raccoon would never work, either. Bonus: it recaptures the Mantlo/Giffen magic of Rocket! Bonus: hundreds of "They made a Woodgod movie before they made a Wonder Woman movie" tweets.

Next:

Look, if Marvel is going keep making their movies 3D, they might as well get meta about it, right? Plus, his origin is a prime opportunity to work Skrulls into the MCU...

Next:

Oh, come on, just look at that! It's already a damn movie poster! Sci-fi sword and sorcery werewolf?!? That's higher than high concept--it's brilliant!

Finally:

Let's out-obscure Star Lord, shall we? A blind bounty-hunter from an alternate future who uses a golden mechanical falcon named Ulyssess to see?!? Think of all the "bird's-point-of-view" shots the director could indulge himself with!

So that's our new Guardians: Son Of Satan and Satana, Woodgod, 3D Man, Man-Wolf, and Monark Starstalker! Hmm...what shall we call our new franchise? The Defenders? The Champions? Whatever, it's money in the bank!

Wait, you say...what about this guy?

Sorry, even Marvel couldn't make a good film out of this guy...

Friday Night Fights--Are You My Mummy? Style!!

It's Friday Night Fights time again, and we're starting this match off with a powerful punch.

Shang-Chi and Moon Knight (!) are on the trail of a mysterious cult that may be kidnapping prospective new members. And they may be using the island which was the former headquarters of the magnificently mad Mordillo as their headquarters. An island chock full of weirdness.

Yes, those are talking robot bats.

With a lisp. 

Anyway...

Mummies!!

Lots of mummies!!

Lots of robot mummies!!

Lots of robot mummies with LASER BEAM EYES!!

Oh, it is on!!

Ah, those sounds effects...

Spacebooger would like you to know that Moon Knight is actually a good character, albeit one who has been mishandled in 98.7% of his appearances...

Moon Knight and Shang-Chi go all Scorpion King on robot mummies with laser eyes in Moon Knight Special #1 (1992) by Doug Moench, Art Nichols and Chris Ivy.

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? ROBOT MUMMIES WITH LASER EYES!! So go vote!!

Spoiler Sunday--Color Blind

In this week's Days Of Future Past Redux Age of Ultron #2, Black Widow and Moon Knight discover one of Nick Fury's hidey holes, complete with Rip Hunter's chalkboard his famous photo collages:

Uh...blue and red? There's no blue and red...

Ah, but back in the original appearances of Fury's Big Board O' Photos, as in this example from Mighty Avengers #12, there were blue and red circles:

Of course, it turned out that Fury was ridiculously wrong in whom he chose to trust, but the point is...those blue and red circles disappeared somehow, yet Moon Knight can somehow still see them!!

It must be some superpower, right? It couldn't be yet another Mighty Marvel Editorial Oopsie, right? I mean, this issue has been sitting in the drawer for over a year, waiting to be published...so there's would have been ample time to look it over a few dozen times before sending off to the printer. So there's just no way Marvel could have been that lax.

So I look forward to more development of Moon Knight's mysterious new super power (not to mention his mysteriously disappearing mental illness)...

ManicMonday--Thinking Too Much About Marvel House Ads, Part II

I'll grant you, Marvel was probably a slightly less sophisticated operation back in 1981.

But it seems to me, if you want to push a new character and his book, this might not be the way to do it:



Seriously...no mention of the Doug Moench/Bill Sienkiewicz team...no examples of artwork or storylines or covers...you don't even show a single freakin' picture of Moon Knight, so the uninitiated might realize whom you're talking about.

Nope, just show several other Marvel characters dissing on him, or telling you not to buy his book. That'll work...

And these weren't individual panels scattered throughout the mag...no, this was a full-page ad:

That is a pretty odd way to use a full-page ad to market a new character, is all I'm saying. Me, I would run something like this:

But obviously my inability to think outside the box is why I'm not in marketing...

From Hulk Annual #10 (1981)

Here's A Comic I Will Never Buy

Brian Bendis and Alex Maleev and Tom Brevoort had a conference call with the media to unveil their big plans for the new Moon Knight series (what, is this volume #19??).

Presented without comment are some of Bendis' descriptions of what the series is going to be about:

Bendis: "We love his personality disorder. On his best day, he almost seems like a one-man team, like a one-man Ocean's 11. But sometimes the character would get mired in self-loathing, and depression, and all that stuff. I said, wouldn't it be interesting to have a multiple-personality superhero who loved his personalities?"

Bendis said he wants Moon Knight's personalities to be "more defined by his new place in the Marvel Universe."

Bendis continues that his "psyche will be emboldened" by his role on the Avengers, and that his personalities will include Spider-Man, Wolverine and Captain America, and he'll have internal "Avengers meetings" dealing with how to tackle different issues.

Bendis said that supporting cast members like Frenchie and Marlene will play a part in the book, but they'll also "focus on some new characters as well, but not at the sacrifice of his great history with these old friends. And how many friends does he need? He's his own best friend, he's his own girlfriend, that's why I love him."

Next question from [Newsarama staff writer Albert Ching]- are you at all worried about controversy like the show United States of Tara has faced for portraying multiple personalities disorder, a real-life condition?

Bendis: "You have to find a basis in reality or it doesn't fly, even the silliest ideas have to matter, but at the end of the day, getting too sensitive about it can suck the fun out of anything. I don't think anything's happening here that makes fun of or belittles an actual problem."

OK, then. Good luck with that project, guys.