FF Week #25--Roll Call!!

A brief roll call for those who have also served as members of the Fantastic Four:

Crystal!

Medusa!

Power Man!

She-Hulk!!

Ms. Marvel!

(who later became She-Thing!)

Ant-Man!!

Black Panther And Storm!

Spider-Man!

Ms, Thing!!

Thus endeth the roll call...

The Fourth Member--The Sound Of Thundra

You know, the Frightful Four really are a bunch of losers.

Yes, I know that we already knew that. Yes, they were three 10-time losers who, never having beaten an individual member of the Fantastic Four, somehow got it into their heads that they could beat the whole FF if they just teamed up. Yes, they were idiots who somehow never read the newspaper, and never realized that once she recovered from her amnesia, Medusa was a good guy. Yes, these chowderheads thought they could hypnotize Spider-Man into being their fourth member.

Do you see the pattern here? There's a whole world of villains out there who hate the FF, or are just evil in general. Yet rather than go after them, the Wizard keeps going for the unknown character he hasn't done a proper background check on, or a hero. Really, is this the best they can do??

Sadly, yes.

Let's head back to Fantastic Four #129-130 (1072-1973), and see if these guys have learned their lessons yet.

Fortunately for the Frightful ones, the FF are down a few members. The Human Torch has quit:

(Don't worry, readers...back in those days he quit every 6 or 7 months). Meanwhile, Reed and Sue are acting out Roy Thomas' quaint idea of the battle of the sexes:


So Benjamin J. Grimm is all by his lonesome when...

Who? Duh.

And the Sandman isn't alone!!


So it's going to be three-on-one...except the incredible coincidence machine is working full speed:


Yes, Medusa just happens to show up at the exact same moment and exact same place that her evil ex-allies choose to return. (And not to accuse Roy of sloppy storytelling, but we don't get the reason for Medusa's visit for another 2 months yet!!).

Anyway, the Frightful Three are still incredible losers, as Medusa and the Thing mop up the floor with them. Benjy even hurls a big-ass crane at them...but the mysterious new fourth member chooses to reveal herself:


Now, this is Thundra's first appearance ever, so at this point readers weren't aware that she was from the alternate future where Earth is known as Femizonia and ruled by the Femizons (no, I'm not making that up). So we didn't know diddly about her, except:

Thundra is strong.

Together, she and Sandman manage to take out the Thing:

We get absolutely no exposition as to how the Frightful Four found Thundra (or vice versa), or why she thought these losers were worth the time of day (then again, since she thought all men were pathetic, maybe she couldn't tell winners from doofuses). But, frankly, Thundra is spectacularly unqualified to be a member of the Frightful Four. To wit:



Now, it seems to me, refusal to kill men would be a pretty big disqualifier from joining the Frightful Four, since their raison d'etre is to, you know, kill the Fantastic Four. Thundra joining up with them is like someone getting a job as a bartender and refusing to serve alcohol--why would you apply for the job? Why would they hire you?? Well, the Wizard actually has a master plan:

Ah, the "lie to the person who is stronger than all three of you combined and then betray her and somehow survive her wrath" ploy. That always goes well...

On to the Baxter Building. Proving that might is greater than mind, Sandman takes out Reed (along with gratuitous "limp wrist"):

Sue has come back, but apparently, after 129 issues, she still doesn't have the "the point of invisibility is to stay hidden" lesson down yet:

Which leads to one of the odder back and forths ever.

So, the Wizard promises not to hurt Franklin...

...until Sue turns out to be too tough...

...so he reneges on the deal...

...but then it turns out his reneging was really a trick?? Oh, my head...

So, everybody is captured, right? Game over, right?

Nope...time for blatant cheating, as Franklin whips out a previously unseen power to free Ben.

I guess the Wizard really shouldn't have let him be a non-combatant! That creates enough distraction so everybody else is free. And now it's time to pound the losers. Sue teaches the Sandman that you really do need a brain...

...the Trapster is so pathetic Medusa whoops him point blank...

...and Reed takes down the Wizard (I'll show you that later this week!). In the meantime, Reed gets incredibly sexist:

As for Ben and Thundra?


Oh, Thundra, what is this foolish moral code you have? You can fight "the most powerful men of our world," but not if they're actually fighting for something?? How does that make sense?

Everyone escapes...

And once again we must ask the question: Wizard, YOU'VE MASTERED ANTI-GRAVITY!! Why the hell are you still a super-villain? Why not patent that and become a kajillionaire??

And we finish with Reed and Sue debating gender roles, as well as getting proof positive that Roy Thomas didn't have a clue how to write Reed Richards yet:

So that's our Frightful Four: still recruiting unsuitable unknowns, and failing miserably at every turn. Stay tuned...they'll be back sooner than you think!!

BONUS: A Jim Steranko Fantastic Four cover!!!

The Fourth Member--Poor Background Check

Oh, you wacky Frightful Four.

Here at Slay Monstrobot, we've been examining the efforts of three perpetual losers to find a fourth member who would, in the Wizard's own words, make them an "exact evil counterpart" to the Fantastic Four.

To that purpose, they went out and found Medusa, who had amnesia at the time, and made three separate runs at the FF over a 6 month period. In each case, they used the element of surprise to win initially, but they just couldn't close the deal. In the last showdown, Medusa got away while the others were finally captured.

So, it's now 5 years later (our time). While the Frightful Four were rotting away in prison, the Fantastic Four stepped up their game, whooping on Galactus, taking down a cosmic-powered (stolen, but still) Doctor Doom, fending off Annihilus, dealing with an infant Adam Warlock, and saving the world from Tomazooma. You can't mess with these guys now.

But the Wizard has actually picked a good time to attack: the FF is concerned with family matters, namely, finding child care for Franklin:

But where is the Trapster? And whom will they choose for the fourth member this time?!? Both of these questions are answered in the next panel:

But...but...wait...I mean...

Yes, I know. In the intervening 51 issues, Medusa has clearly joined the side of the angels. She recovered from her amnesia, revealed herself as a member of the Royal Family of Attilan (not to mention being Black Bolt's main squeeze), and a staunch ally of the Fantastic Four. Hell, Johnny Storm is even going out with her sister!!!

So, Wizard, what the hell? It's not like Medusa was exactly low-profile over the past few years. Was super-genius Wizard too busy to actually pay attention to the news? Didn't anyone in the super-villain underworld mention to any of them, "You know that chick with the crazy hair you used to run with? She's good now!"??? Oh, you lovable losers...

So, Reed & Sue & Ben & Johnny trundle "upstate" with infant Franklin to check out Agatha Harkness' daycare center, and spend the night. So it's time for the Frightful ones to strike!!




Well, Ben's down, and pretty easily, too. What about Johnny?


He's down quicker than Jose Canseco in a MMA match (hey, I got the topical references!).

That leaves Reed & Sue. And believe it or not, the Trapster will take them both out...by himself!



That last panel, by the way, is the coolest coloring error ever (& kinda gross)!!

Now, as you may have noticed, Medusa didn't lift a follicle during this whole affair. You would think that this would give the bad guys a clue, but noooo...

Which means, of course, that's it's time for the "surprise" betrayal:



And after a teeny bit of gratuitous sexism from Paste-Pot Pete...

...Medusa is easily taken down.

So much for your master plan, lady. Couldn't you have picked up the phone to warn Reed or something??

It should be noted here that the Frightful Four...or, rather, Three...actually win here! The three of them take down all four of the FF, plus Medusa, and barely work up a sweat!! Geez, guys, maybe you never really needed a fourth member. Game over!!

But, of course, they've made one tragic error. They choose to stage this little ambush in Agatha Harkness' house. Oops.





Yup. All three taken down by illusions (or magic...it's never terribly clear). Once again, the Frightful Four have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Sigh...beaten by a witch.

(Of course, one has to ask, if she's really so badass, how did the Wizard et al infiltrate her house in the first place? Unless she wanted them to incapacitate the FF, so then she could prove how useful she was by whooping them, as an incentive for Reed and Sue to hire her? Hmmm, Agatha, you crafty old biddy!!)

This was pretty much the height of the Wizard's group's success. From here, it's all downhill...as we'll see next week, when the Frightful Four find a new fourth member...and are actually taken down by just one member of the FF. But oh, that fourth member...

The Frightful Four get taken out by Endora in Fantastic Four #94, the first issue of the 1970s!! By, of course, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Joe Sinnott