Cinam Yadnom--S'eh Arbadak Arba!!

How about a little magic, scarecrow?

If there's one rule that should be burned into everyone's memory, tattooed on their body like in Memento, taught to schoolchildren from the first day of kindergarten--it's that whenever you meet someone new, you should ALWAYS try spelling their name backwards, before it's too late.

From Count Alucard to alien presidential candidates to the lord of evil himself, bad guys get away with their shenanigans much longer than they should because your average joe just won't take the simple precaution of seeing what this new person's name might spell backwards!

Anyway, there's a new stage magician on the scene, and Earth scientists are flummoxed, because they can't figure out how he's accomplishing his miraculous tricks.

So, as scientists are wont to do. they reach out to Uranus, and in turn Uranus sends their favorite son, Marvel Boy!

(HINT: Spell her name backwards, fools!)

(AHEM...SPELL HIS NAME BACKWARDS!!)

Well, an intensive examination by Marvel Boy provides no help:

And so it goes.

Now, if Marvel Boy had simply tried saying the guy's name backwards, the story is over. But he doesn't, so "Emit Erut-Uf" is kidnapped by mobsters, who use him to rob an impenetrable vault. Marvel Boy rescues him, but the magician has decided on a very public bit of revenge:

But legally, he might be on safe ground...?

Yeah, it's OK to murder hoodlums!!

Anyway, Marvel Boy has figured it out...but keeps his cards close to his vest!

Or maybe it was a magician from the future using scientific methods that were indistinguishable from magic, and you just went and invented Abra Kadabra more than a decade early!!

Still, kids--always SPELL THEIR NAME BACKWARDS!! You won't regret it!!

From Astonishing #6 (1951)

Yet Another Reason We Miss The Fantastic Four!

Because some mornings you need some George Perez splash panels to get your clock going...

Oh, J. Jonah Jameson, don't ever change!

Any, Crusader's power is solar based, and read has managed to create some artificial clouds to hide the sun. So Crusader decides to turn it up to 11...

Ahh, sweet, sweet Perez...

(Don't worry about Crusader. He later came back as a ghost. And then turned out not to have been the real Marvel Boy, anyway. Comics, man...)

From Fantastic Four #165 (1975)

Not Your ordinary Dungeon?!?

Here's the cover to Astonishing #4 (1951):

Wait, what's that caption again?

Oh, so just an "ordinary," every day dungeon!!

They led more exciting lives in the 1950s...Me, I have yet to see dungeon #1...

Manic Monday--The True Meaning Of Capitalism

Dateline: 1951ish (Hey, it's not my fault--Marvel didn't identify the date or issue this reprint came from!!). Retired multi-millionaire financier Jasper J. Corpora has been trying to help the world's poor by donating money to their governments--including the government of Upper Stalinia!!

Well, obviously, that was a boo-boo, as the ambassador from Upper Stalinia has decided to "reward" Corpora:


And it's something of a magic pen, it seems:

Now, if the evil commies had the magic/technology to do something like that, you'd think they'd put it to better use then bilking retired millionaires out of their fortunes one check at a time. Like getting foreign leaders to sign bad treaties or even surrender! But no, the Upper Stalinians seem content to keep up the grand (yet petty) larceny:

Well, Marvel Boy quickly puts a stop to this nonsense--greatly helped by the fact that the Upper Stalinians hadn't gotten around to actually cashing the checks yet--d'oh!!

So the moral to our story? Don't give charity to the Commies, right?

Well, that's--hey, wait a minute!! One more time:

OK, so the moral actually is, don't give your millions to commies--give it all to Uncle Sam!! And you'd better do it if you want to prove your loyalty!! Hurray!!

Of course, that's not enough to satisfy leering Marvel Boy:

Yup...giving all your money to the government is just ONE way to prove your loyalty. Better be careful, Jasper. Now look out, because Marvel Boy has other things to do--because multi-million dollar heists, commie plots, and multiple murders aren't important enough for his Uranian highness!!