Marvel 1968 Week--Captain America #103

It's time to bring our time travelling trek to Marvel 1968 to an end, as we take a patriotically infused swim into the waters of Captain America #103!!

We start of with a quiet dinner in a local restaurant for Steve Rogers and fascist S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Sharon Rogers:

Brought to us by, of course:

Steve shows why he's a man for all eras:

But, after a face full of knockout gas, a bunch of thugs kidnap the future murderer of Captain America:


Of course, Exile Island is the home of Red Skull and his troupe of exiled Nazi misfits:


What a fun looking bunch. What do they do for fun??


Please don't press the rod!! Uhh...anyway, Cap is swimming to Exile Island, using an oxygen re breather he claims Tony Stark invented, but that we know damn well came from Q in Thunderball:

And like S.P.E.C.T.R.E., the Skull has surrounded his island with uniquely cool but amazingly insane traps.

Cap (after blowing up part of the installation with a kamikaze speedboat attack) makes it to land, and starts to dispatch Nazi goons!


After Cap gets taken down by a sucker punch, the Skull begins to implement his master plan:

Oh, so that's the deal with the rod!

Skull and the hideously ugly exiles quarrel over exactly how to split up the world:

Cap and Sharon, his baby momma to be, escape, but convenient thought balloons let us know that the Skull is allowing them to escape, to better implement phase two of his evil scheme. He and Cap battle whilst discussing political philosophy, as only Stan and Jack can portray:



...he and Sharon blast off, as the Skull claims triumph:

You know, there is something so totally timeless about this issue...1848, 1968, 2008...it's Cap, dammit.

Given that there's been some talk on the blogs lately about whether or not comics would better be served by more stand-alone stories, I thought I'd present this 40 year-old letter from Bill Hayes:
There we go--case closed, 4 decades ago!!

MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

Feeling flush with the success of their empire, Marvel was going to try to push the boundaries a bit. From the Bullpen Bulletins:

Not a comic book?? A glossy magazine?!? Not shelved with the comic books, but with regular magazines?!?

Marvel put a ton of promotion into this, with Bullpen Bulletin items for months, a Stan's Soapbox ("an entirely new concept in superhero presentation!"), full page house ads...and yes, it did appear:

A collector's item? Well, sort of...the concept lasted a whole 2 issues. Sorry, Marvel, you can't win them all. (PRO-TIP: maybe you shouldn't have made that debut issue black & white, a fact that wasn't even mentioned in all the promotion...)

And so endeth Marvel 1968 week. What hath 40 years wrought? Some things have changed (the X-Men popular?!?), some remain the same (Cap Vs. Red Skull!!), and some are "startling" plot twists that just crop up every few decades (Jarvis betrays the Avengers?!). Some of this big issues we like to debate today--retcons, too much product published, stand alone vs. continued stories--were around back then; we just like to pretend they're new issues today.

Hope you've enjoyed the tour.

Friday Night Fights--Hulk 1968 Style!!

Even Friday Night Fights cannot derail our piercing the misty veils of time back to Marvel 1968!! Join us, as we gaze at Hulk #105:

Who's that guy? Well, you're not going to believe this...but Red Chinese underground nuclear tests freed and irradiated a "missing link." He grew big and mean, and the Chinese were only barely able to subdue him temporarily. So what did they do with the "Beast-Man?" Why, surreptitiously dump him in New York City, where he can damage capitalist interests!!

Well, by one of those Marvel coincidence, the Hulk is wandering around the Big Apple. So what happens when they meet??

Ouch!! But, of course, you can't keep a good Hulk down:

And how do you finish him off? Why, dump a building on him, of course!!

See, that's what would happen if anybody was crazy enough to let Hulk wander around New York City...

You know who else could tear down NYC? Let's just say there's a reason they don't let Bahlactus wander the Bronx...

MARVEL 1968 WEEK EXTRA!!

As those of you who have been tripping into the past all week with me know, I've been presenting a letter from each classic issue. Well, this may be Friday Night Fights, but I see no reason to stop. Today, Richard Howell gets the answer to a question that's always bugged me...or does he?!?

Certain postal regulations?!? Really? Can anyone out there explain to me??

Saturday--the 1968 finale, as we visit with a guy known as...Captain America!!

Marvel 1968 Week--Iron Man #3

Faithful fans, we're going to do things a bit differently today, as we head back 4 decades:

How different? Well, I won't be narrating the highlights of Iron Man #3 alone. No, I've brought along a special guest commentator: Mr. Tony Stark himself!!

snell: Well, Mr. Stark, are you ready to review this blast from your past?

Stark: Yes, I am, snell. And please, call me Tony!!

snell: So I shall. Let's start with the splash page from the issue in question:

Stark: Wow, that brings back memories!!

snell: How so?

Stark: Well, you see me thinking about Janice Cord (had her!!) She died in my arms awhile after this...what a tragedy...

snell: Perhaps if you'd been a registered hero, that tragedy wouldn't have happened.

Stark: What was that?

snell: Nothing. Let's look, as we always do, at the credits for this issue:

Stark (laughing): Good old Archie and Johnny!! Always good for a joke!!

snell: Huh?

Stark: Well, just look at it--they feature a shot of my iron-clad ass (and a nice ass it is, too), in the same panel they talk about the Uranus rocket!! Oh, what cards!! The nights we spent laughing about that at the night clubs...

snell: Now, now, Tony...remember your 12 steps. Anyway, tell us what happens next:




Stark: Well, Uranus is collapsing (laughing)--sorry--and I've got to catch it, or lots of innocent folks will die. But, my batteries were almost drained dry from the previous issue's battle, so it's going to be rough.

snell: That's right. A lot of are readers might not remember, but back in those days, your heart was severely weakened, and only your fully powered chest plate could keep it beating!

Stark: That's right. Medical science hadn't yet caught up with my fantastic technological abilities, so I was trapped in that damned chest plate forever. Try explaining that to the ladies!!

snell: And what's that Viet Nam reference? That would make you, what, in your 70s today?

Stark (coughing): Wha--?? No, no, obviously the letterer made a mistake... I remember clearly thinking "Afghanistan" in that panel.

snell: Well, it looks like you succeeded in rescuing those folks--

Stark (interrupting): Of course!

snell:--but at considerable cost to yourself! Still, doesn't it seem like you're over-dramatizing just a bit?

Stark: Hey, you try holding up a freakin' rocket with a defective ticker. When things start to go black for you, maybe you'll emote a little bit, too.

snell: But look at this:

snell: You walk past some people who could help you! Friends of Iron Man, who would be glad to plug you in!! Yet you keep all this pain to your interior monologue!!

Stark: Well, snell, the first thing to remember is, back in those days, women went for the strong, silent types. They weren't yet ready for men who wore their emotions on their sleeves. That's why I scored so many babes, as opposed to--just for example--Spider-Man. He whined all the time, and what did it get him?

Secondly, that's Whitney Frost. Doesn't she look hot? Well, I had her. So I guess I was doing something right.

snell: Let's follow along, as you make it to your lab and manage to save yourself:


snell: Do you still think you don't come across as a little melodramatic here?

Stark: Well, in my defense, in those days very few people knew my secret identity...so it's not as if I could go talk over my problems with someone. And without teammates around, well, all my emotions had to go into interior monologues, unless you wanted blank panels.

snell: Fair enough. Well, we saw that you temporarily saved yourself, but your heart was too damaged for your old armor to help anymore. So what did you do?

Stark: Well, as you know, I am a futurist. And as the panel above shows you, I pretty much invented integrated circuits back in 1968. Eat my shorts, Intel!! Hmmm, I think I'll buy them tomorrow!!

snell: Too bad the "futurist" hadn't upgraded the armor earlier, as now you were too weak to do it yourself. How did you get around that?

Stark: Well, fortunately, my good friend Happy Hogan figured out I was in trouble from press reports, and as he was one of the few who knew my secret identity, he came to help.

Oh, and there's Pepper Potts, my once and former and once again secretary. Had her.

snell: Hmmm, I'd never noticed this before--Marvel had Happy Hogan and Hogun the Grim.

Stark (laughing): That's great!! Marvel should have teamed them up!! With Hulk Hogan!! Hogan's Heroes!! (Laughter)

snell: Well, you have Happy help you build and power up your new armor, but things go awry:



snell: Now, given that you're a futurist, couldn't you have foreseen that having Happy working with cobalt radiation could have a bad result, as it had turned him into the Freak once before?

Stark: I resent that! I was dying! Happy volunteered! And his disobeyed my orders by turning the device all the way up!!

snell: Well, Tony, it seems like you put Happy into an awful lot of danger over the years. Here, you even think so yourself:


snell: In fact, Happy dies from injuries received while working for you. And then in your recent movie, the character is given just a cameo. It almost seems like you're trying to marginalize him from the beginning, to give yourself a shot at Pepper.

Stark: I don't think I like the direction this is taking! Besides, have you seen Gwyneth Paltrow? No way am I letting Jon Favreau be her boyfriend in the movie. And, since I know what the next question is, yes, I had her. Can we move on to the last panel now?

Stark: See, all's well that ends well. I saved Pepper, and restored Happy. And as he was around for another 38 years, I don't think you can say I was trying to harm him.

snell: Well, before we go Mr. Stark, I just want to discuss some of your changes with you. As we see here, in the olden days you were in constant danger of over-taxing your heart, and your Iron Man identity masked a lot of real human frailty beneath it. Now, your body is in perfect health, and with Extremis, you're powerful beyond human imagining. You're also the driving force behind the biggest political revolution of modern times, the Super Hero Registration Act. And you've become Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. How do you feel about the path you've traveled?

Stark: Well, first of all, I'm not that powerful. Whenever comic writers amp up a character's powers, they almost immediately have to make up a bunch of new weaknesses, lest he become uninteresting. It's like giving Hal Jordan "the most powerful weapon in the universe" and then telling him he can't use it on yellow. In my case, despite Extremis, I've recently been slapped around by Doctor Doom, by Skrulls, hell, by Jarvis...so I'm not as powerful as everyone seems to think.

As to the other changes, well, as I said, I am a futurist. I saw the path the country was on if I didn't act, so I did. The rest just fell into place.

snell: But some have hinted that maybe you orchestrated some of the events of the so-called Civil War, to better the chances for the agenda you wished to push through. Is that true?

Stark (loudly): No comment! (He leaves).

Well, just me again. Sensitive guy for someone who effectively runs the free world these days. I didn't even get a chance to ask him to help me sort out whether or not S.H.I.E.L.D. is an American or international group...it seems to act like both, depending on what issue it is.

Anyway, here's this issue's letter:

I applaud you, David Hodgen, for being appropriately nerdy about your super-heroes. And, whoever edited the letter column, I applaud you for the implication that Iron Man is bi-sexual!!

ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:


Ahhh, Gene Colan-drawn Daredevil....from the Bullpen Bulletins: "It had to happen! You are about to witness 'The Death of Mike Murdock!' But, what happens to Matt Murdock? And how does Daredevil battle the Exterminator and his Unholy Three? Well, why not see for yourself?"

You know, given the pathetic tatters of Daredevil's secret identity these days, a revival of Mike Murdock might not be a bad idea...are you listening, Rucka and Brubaker??

Stark: Sorry...just wanted to pop back in and say that I've invented a device that would help Daredevil regain his sight...if only he were registered...

snell: What a dick you are, Tony.

Marvel 1968 Week--X-Men #46

Of course, we couldn't do a whole week celebrating Marvel 1968 without taking a look at that comic book juggernaut, that publishing phenomenon known as the X-Men.

But, perhaps surprisingly to those too young to remember, The X-Men wasn't a juggernaut back then. Indeed, it was a back burner title, almost an afterthought. Mutant hysteria amongst comics fans was still a decade away. Believe it or not, there was one, and only one, X-title published in 1968, and that one was plagued by crappy sales. How crappy, you might ask? So crappy that in 1970, even though Neal Adams had been drawing the book for a year, the book was canceled, and was later resurrected as a reprint-only, bi-monthly mag. That's right, kiddies--for a 5-year+ period, there were NO new X-men stories. Kinda hard to believe, if you look at the comics shelves today.

So, getting back to 1968, we have a "chicken or the egg" question--did the X-Men have bad sales because lesser talents were being assigned to it, or were lesser talents being assigned to it because of low sales? Only Stan knows. But a look at the credits box for X-Men #68 shows us that none of the Marvel A-team were involved:

Not to pick on Gary Friedrich and Don Heck and Werner Roth, but Lee/Kirby or Thomas/Buscema this ain't, as we'll see.

We start at the funeral of Professor X:

Yes, his funeral. He's dead. Really dead. D-E-D. Kaput. Not a dream, not a hoax, not an imaginary story. How do we know this? Because the letters page tells us so:

Of course, this just goes to show us that retcons are nothing new...within two years a new regime would reveal that Charles had been alive the whole time!! Let's watch as our heroes pine for their late teacher:

What, Bobby Drake doesn't get to mourn?? That's just cold...This panel also show us that retcon-induced continuity snafus are nothing new, either...the same issue that revives Charles will tell us that Jean Grey knew all along that he was alive. Which means what, she was lying to herself in this panel??

We go off for the reading of his will (because he's really dead), and look, a special guest star:

Oh, Foggy, are you slumming again? Well, the will has no surprises, so let's skip ahead to...the Crimson Cosmos!!:

Ah, our good friend Cain Marko, Xavier's half-brother, the dreaded Juggernaut!! He's where the X-Men last left him, exiled to the Crimson Cosmos (home dimension of the Ruby of Cytorrak, don't you know?). Well, he's not getting out...

Uh-oh.

A brief interlude. I've always suspected that one reason the 1960's X-Men never caught on was their lame-ass costumes. The first set, all blue (or black, depending on the printing that month) & yellow and hideous, were not one of Jack Kirby's greatest moments, and subsequent artists couldn't make them look any better. Then they were these weird, discordant, day-glo colored outfits, and nobody particularly matched anybody, and they looked like refugees from a bad kiddie cartoon. And then came this, my personal nomination for the worst super-hero costume of all time:


Ah, Warren, that is...eye-meltingly bad. Shudder.

Back to our story. Marko's facing a big hurdle in his quest for revenge against Xavier:

Of course, he doesn't believe it, and since he was going to kill the X-Men anyway, well, his belief that they're lying to him just gives him extra incentive.

There follows a long, extended battle replete with ridiculously bad storytelling. This is a perfect example of telling instead of showing. Example one:

You'd think it was pretty clear from the artwork that Juggernaut was hurtling a piece of machinery at Scott. But either because he thought the art wasn't clear enough, or because he couldn't think of anything else to say, Friedrich has Scott narrate this to us as if it were a book on tape, instead of, you know, a comic book with pictures. Example two:

Same deal...instead of using dialogue to compliment the pictures, Friedrich is just using it to repeat what we already see. His words are adding nothing to the fight scenes!! And these are only two examples...this goes on throughout the book...Well, Juggernaut eventually discovers that Charles is dead (really! Truly!) and has a super-freak out, including a never before seen power (and never since seen, or even explained):


So how do our heroes defeat the unstoppable foe?


Ah, yes, the from-beyond-the-grave deus ex machina.

Anyway, this FBI agent has been trying to meet with the X-Men all issue and kept getting interrupted. Well, now is our chance to find out what the hell he wanted:


Whaa??? Aside from the torrent of illogic here...no, not aside, let's look at the illogic. How does what happened here "prove" that they'll become a target for evil mutants? Juggernaut isn't a mutant, and he didn't come back because Xavier was dead--quite the opposite!!

Not to mention, what power does an FBI agent have to order the X-Men to disband? But, pussies that they are, the X-Men agree, giving us one last bit of Scott/Jean soap opera before they leave:

Don't you just want to smack their heads together??

The last few pages of the book are taken up by the regular back-up feature of this period:

Now, you'd think that, since they're mutants, the origin would be: "They're born, The end." But they're actually looking at when their powers first manifested, and how they got recruited to the X-Men. This issue features Cyclops rescuing young Bobby Drake from a lynch mob. Meh.

All in all, pretty tepid, non-involving stuff, with lackluster art, terrible storytelling, an ineffective super-team, and a lame ending. But in a few months, Roy Thomas and Neal Adams would come on board, and at least things would get prettier and more interesting before the end.

For some cheap irony, here's Stan's Soapbox from the month:

Given the amount of books Marvel has been releasing lately, and the amount of grief they've been getting for it form some quarters, I find it amusing that Stan had to apologize in 1968 for putting out about a dozen non-reprint super-hero comics per month. Hell, I'm too lazy to count, but I'm willing to wager that there will be more X-related books released this month than Marvel's ENTIRE monthly line in 1968. My, how things change in 40 years...

MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:

At least one corner of the Marvel Universe wasn't stagnating into mediocrity, as were the X-Men; Steranko was going NUTS over in Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. From the Bullpen Bulletins: "On an incredible island--amid such danger as mortal man has never witnessed--the redoubtable leader of Shield must must defeat the monsters who defied evolution--or perish!" The story's title was "So Shall Ye Reap...DEATH!" Steranko would come on board to do a few X-Men covers and (I think) just one interior before the year was out...

Thursday, in the 40-year retrospective that no one could stop, we'll take on--Iron Man!!