Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Zatara Invents 3-D TV (And Ends All Hunger And Crime Everywhere)!!

There's a gang of thieves about, and Zatara has used his shrewd deduction skills to figure out how to find them!

Look, "they were talking about watching the game on TV" wasn't as obvious a possibility in 1945, so don't get snotty.

But how can Zatara use this information? Well, at the next Dodgers game...

HOLY COW ZATARA IS THROWING BASEBALLS OVER THE AIRWAVES AND THROUGH THE TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Zatara was discovered Wonkavision decades early--and no need for taffy pullers!! Why can't this spell be used to transport food over long distances to famine-stricken areas? Medicine? Instantly transport troops to trouble spots? Zatara, you've revolutionized the world!!

This is never mentioned again.

Next, Zatara hypnotizes his captive audience into surrendering themselves the next day:

But Zatara wasn't specific in his spell, so...

Yes, ALL the crooks in Grant City who were watching the ballgame are compelled to give themselves up!!

That so many crooks are Dodgers fans probably says something, but I'll leave that alone.

Again, this technology could change everything. Why doesn't Zatara get on a national broadcast and command every crook everywhere to turn themselves in?

Some of the criminals get restive, so Zatara enlarges some ants, because that's a pretty cool thing to do.

And so...

No thanks to you, Zatara. Where's the follow-up? You could solve all of the world's problems!! What the hell?!?!

From World's Finest Comics #19 (1945)

Manic Monday Bonus--If They Had Done This Story, Netflix Would Have Never Canceled Their Shows!!

All I'm saying is, if Power Man And Iron Fist #81 (1982) has been used as the basis for a crossover story, the Luke Cage and Iron Fist shows would never have been cancelled by Netflix.

Because as fine as the two seasons of Luke Cage were, they never had this:

Some guy tried to kill Luke with a forklift!!

Not only is it a brilliant scene in and of itself, but it ties in with Mystery Science Theater 3000, which is now a Netflix show--total corporate synergy!!


Next, a scene an Iron Fist series should have had:

"Lousy speech. Good moves, though." Yeah one of the Iron Fist seasons really could have used a bit where Danny takes down a white boy wannabe who thinks he the shit because he watched Bruce Lee movies and listens to Wu-Tang Clan.

Finally, the scene that would have definitely saved both series. Danny and Luke are in the the nation of Halwan, when they stumble upon the king's harem:

Yup, Luke and Danny dressed as women, dancing for the king, would have meant that Netflix could never, ever consider canceling the shows!!

Manic Monday--The Worst/Best Death Trap Ever!!

Robin is after a gang of children who have been carrying out audacious robberies!

He finds them stealing some radium--and the fighting is on!!
 

But wait...

Thank you, helpful dotted line and arrow!

But what could that mark mean?

Sure, sure, Dick Ric. A child has never had his collar buttoned, in school or church or because his family made him dress formally. Ever.

Not the most solid deduction in the world, is all I'm saying...even though it turns out he's right.

Still, children or little people, they put the beatdown on Robin!!

And just in case you thought costumed adult villains from Batman '66 were the only ones into staggeringly deadly death traps:

Roller skates? Really?

Yup.

OMG no!!

Now, I know Robin says he's groggy, but he could steer himself into the wall, or take a deliberate tumble before he gets to the intersection. Sure, he might get some scrapes or bruises, but it's better than getting killed by traffic, and it's pretty easy to do.

But no, Ric Grayson has to show off:

I have to be honest--the whole reason I'm doing this post is just so I can use the word "batpoon."

What you want for Christmas? You've already got a batpoon, and now you have free roller skates! Let's not be greedy, Robin!!

From World's Finest Comics #18 (1945)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Taking A Shine To Luthor!!

Speaking of henchpersons, it's not like an internationally-infamous evil scientist can just walk into Supercuts.

So, aboard his hidden flying fortress:

Umm...I hate to mention this...

But Lex, in this continuity, you're kinda permanently bald--no hair at all!

So what the heck is Wanda doing?

Ahhh....nice and shiny!! 

Hey, even Lex Luthor cares about personal appearance!! You have to look your best before wiping out your arch-enemy!!

From Superman #386 (1983)

Manic Monday Bonus--That's Not How Hybrids Work!!

A tricky day to be Lorna The Jungle Queen Girl and her monkey Mikki:

No, that's not the hand of Krona...it's much, much worse!

What the hell is it?!?

WHAT?!?

WHAT?!?!?!?!?

OK, now try to get the images of crocodiles and apes mating out of your mind's eye. Good luck.

Because I know you're curious--no, this isn't an alien, or a robot, or some crook with some kind of Scooby Doo disguise, or anything goofy like that. All the explanation we get is the "hybrid" balderdash.

This was a Timely comic, so if it helps, you can just assume Arnim Zola was hiding in the jungles of Africa in the 1950s, performing perverse experiments...

Anyway, our unnamed hybrid wipes out a village...

So it's up to Lorna and Mikki to stop the titan!

Goodbye, unnamed hybrid. Maybe we can bring you back in an Agents Of Atlas story, someday...?

From Lorna The Jungle Girl #8 (1954)