Manic Monday--Maybe DC Should Hire This Guy

We all know that DC has had problems with deadlines the past few years. Yet they've vowed to fix that for Flushpoint, and replace anyone who isn't getting their book done in a timely manner.

How can they make this promise?? Because of newly discovered technology that allows an answer to this question:

Let's flashback to a time when there was a new comics sensation on the block:

Now, the creator of Eighth Wonder Comics was a swell guy. He even visited kids in the hospital!

But then he makes a Babe Ruth-type promise:

Well, a month later, he's going to make good on that promise!

Except...

The publisher's building was merely some collateral damage in the schemes of some bank robbers. But they destroyed all the comics!!

So, Johnny Quick breaks out the lightbox picks up the pencil...

...has several different inkers finish it inks it all himself...

...finds the perfect font on his computer lettering program...

...e-mails all the art to a Canadian printing company prepares the printing plates himself...

But where to print??

A run of two million???? Oh, man, those were the days...

And now to use the computer coloring program color all two million copies by hand:

One last step...

And it's all worth it in the end!

But when Johnny goes to pick up a comic for himself...

D'oh!!!

So, one man can do an entire comic book by himself overnight--including printing and binding it himself!!

So, David Finch and Jim Lee (amongst others), are you paying attention...?

From Adventure Comics #121 (1947), as reprinted in Flash #232 (1975)

Yanking Out the Rug from Beneath Us--Update

OK, so last week I was bitching about DC punting on storylines that were running late. Just not waiting for your team to finish, and instead starting the next storyline, and printing the end at some later time in an annual or such. It had happened in Wonder Woman, Action Comics, and Superman Confidential.

Well, here they go again. In this week's Superman #668, they do it again. For whatever reason the conclusion of the "Camelot Falls" storyline wasn't done, so some editor just said "Let's punt it":


I suppose we can now add Carlos Pacheo and Kurt Busiek to the list of those who aren't important enough (apparently) to have magazines delayed for them, while Frank Miller and Jim Lee and Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely have carte blanche to take entire calender seasons, if not years, between issues of All-Star Superman and All-Star Goddamn Batman.

I do give them a little credit: at least there was an actual apology this time, and a definite issue given where the story will be eventually printed. Still, though, there's no definite time frame given--"later this year" isn't terribly helpful.

Frankly, this is nuts. Something like this happens once, well, stuff happens. But 4 times?!?! Three of them on major, in-continuity titles? That is inexcusable. Period. This is a complete editorial meltdown, is what it is.

DC needs to either a) stop relying on artisits who can't do monthly work for their monthly titles; or b) grant them the time they need to finish by delaying publication. Maybe this is news to DC, but constantly screwing over your readers really isn't good policy.

And if this kinda thing is going to keep happening, why the hell can't it ever happen to Countdown?????

Yanking Out the Rug from beneath Us

When All Star Superman one the Eisner Award for Best Continuing Series, were they being ironic? Were there quotation marks around "Continuing?"

Granted, it's doing better than the Goddamn All Star Batman, which saw a 1-year hiatus between issues. But in nearly 2 years, A-S-S has seen a grand total of 8 issues, making it considerably less than bi-monthly. So this is "continuing??"

I kid because I love. But also, I want to compare this to the opposite of the "occasionally published" comic, the "our creators are so slow we punt" phenomenon, we has been going on a lot at DC.

Last week, much to my surprise, Superman Confidential did NOT feature the continuation of the "Origin of Kryptonite" story by Cooke and Sale. Instead, we got a tremendously abysmal mermaid story, with only the following editors' note as explanation:


No apology or explanation, just "here it is--tough." ON PAGE 4.

Now, part of it is my own damn fault, for not reading the solicits or paying attention to the cover when I picked up my pulls. And it's not like the Cooke/Sale story was the greatest thing ever, either. But still, this kind of thing is pretty damn annoying. No wonder more and more readers just wait for the trades...

And as we know, it's hardly an isolated incident:

• The One Year Later relaunch Wonder Woman was unable to complete even it's first storyline...eventually they just started the next storyline with a new team and said, "we'll show the end to you guys later." They did, finally, in the Wonder Woman Annual a couple of weeks ago. SPOILER ALERT: apparently, Diana didn't die in the "Who is Wonder Woman" story.
  
• The highly publicized Geoff Johns/Richard Donner/Adam Kubert collaboration in Action Comics was never able to finish, with the editors bailing after 4 issues with several months of fill-ins and Countdown tie-ins before starting the NEXT Johns/Donner storyline, and promising us that sometime in the future we would see the finish of the "Last Son" story. Really.

Now, I shouldn't be too harsh, because obviously DC's editors are in something of a dilemma here. Having inconceivably long gaps between issues of a continuing comic must be bad for sales, right? Not to mention for the fans, who (if they're like me) have a hell of a time remembering what happened last issue when last issue was 4 months ago. And for some of your supposedly flagship titles, like Action or Wonder Woman, you definitely want to keep publishing as continuously as possible, even if it means foisting fill-in crap on the fans.

But obviously there are different rules for different creators. If you're a "Name," say Frank Miller or Jim Lee or Grant Morrison, well, take as long as you need (Eisner Awards must help in that decision, too). If not, well, we're yanking you, and we'll just publish somewhere, sometime, when you finish.

Now I would argue that this latter approach is a real disservice to the fans. Especially those who don't bury their nose in the industry news.

• No one should be surprised, as I was, by getting product they wouldn't have wanted. Again, mea culpa, but there should have been a more prominent warning; if not on the cover, than certainly before page 4.



• Certainly something more than a mere "it will appear elsewhere" seems required. After plunking down $15 bucks to follow the "Kryptonite" story, I'm damn well owed an apology, aren't I?



• More definite plans than "printed at a later date" should be given. Obviously, given the slow work of the creators, you may not have a definite date, but tell me it's going to be in an annual, or a future issue of the regular mag, or a giant one-shot like the 1970's Cancelled Comics Cavalcade--maybe Late Book Bonanza!!

Of course, that's all fan service for after the gears have been gummed up. Perhaps a bigger question is, which is better? Interminable waits between issues, or cancelling the story and just starting the next? I know I prefer the former, even though I'm not thrilled about it. How about you?

And the other question is, how can DC avoid this (other than stop employing slow-ass folks--I kid because I love)? Perhaps schedule more bi-monthlies? Or not start publishing the story until most (all??) is already in the can? I yield to anyone who has more inside knowledge of the workings of the industry than I...