Man, I miss the Defenders...
Panel from Defenders #77 (1979). Great Sal Buscema pin-up from Defenders #6 (1973)
Showing posts with label Las Vegas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Las Vegas. Show all posts
Saturday, November 8, 2014
And Then There Was That Time The Lady Defenders Were Walking The Streets Of Las Vegas!
What happens in Vegas...
Yeah, that was the actual Defenders line-up for like 10 minutes...
Man, I miss the Defenders...
Isn't about time Marvel takes another crack at them...?
Panel from Defenders #77 (1979). Great Sal Buscema pin-up from Defenders #6 (1973)
Man, I miss the Defenders...
Panel from Defenders #77 (1979). Great Sal Buscema pin-up from Defenders #6 (1973)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Xavier's Eleven
In the Stan's Soapbox in Heroes Reborn: Doomsday #1 (2000), we get a very good question:
Yeah, that is a damn good question. How can the X-Men afford all their wonderful toys? The outrageous tuitions Xavier's School For Gifted Children charges?
Nope...it turn out to be the demon vice of...gambling:
OK, I know Stan is just being silly here. But let's think about this for a moment.
Would telepathy give Charles Xavier a big advantage in Las Vegas?
Not against the house in most games. Roulette? Craps? Keno? Slots? Video Poker? In none of those games does the dealer know what's coming, so telepathy wouldn't be of any real help.
Same for most of the card games: Let It Ride, 3 Card Poker, Caribbean Stud, Pai Gow...in all of those games, the dealer doesn't look at their cards until after all the players have made their choices. Telepathy? Not much use.
Unless...some people believe that the croupier can influence where the ball drops in roulette, and that the shooter can influence how the dice end up in craps. Of course, if this were true, the house would rapidly lose tons of money on those games, and the casinos would running them. But let's assume it's at least possible. Well, if Xavier could control the dealer/croupier/shooter with his mental abilities, he could (theoretically) substantially influence the outcomes, and turn the odds in his favor. Of course, that would be totally cheating, and immoral, but hey, Blackbird fuel don't come cheap.
But what about Blackjack? The dealer doesn't usually doesn't know what his down card is, unless he has a ten or ace face up, in which case he checks for a Blackjack. So, in about 38% of the hands, I suppose Xavier could benefit from reading the dealers' mind. Which is fairly substantial in a game where the house edge is fairly low. But that's no guarantee of a victory...you still are at the mercy of the next cards you or the dealer take, and your mental powers can't influence that.
Of course, Stan does say "incredible mental prowess," so maybe he's not talking telepathy, but smarts. Maybe Xavier's a card-counter!! If done right, that would put the odds slightly in your favor, although it's hardly a guarantee of winning a fortune (no matter what certain Hollywood films might want you to think). To take full advantage, you have to vary your wagers, betting more when the deck is in your favor, less when it's not. And the casinos are pretty good at noticing those patterns, and tossing your butt out.
Unless, of course, Xavier did indeed use his telepathy, to make sure no one noticed his volatile wagering, or forgot about it. Hidden card counting, together with reading the dealers' minds when they do check the hole card, would would turn blackjack from a game with a .5% house edge (assuming perfect play) to one with something like a 2.5-3% edge for the player. You'd still need a huge starting bankroll, and hundreds and hundreds of hours to accumulate a fortune. But it would be doable.
What about playing against other humans, as opposed to the house? Telepathy would of course be a huge advantage in poker. And in sports betting, Xavier could potentially influence the outcome of games, either by mentally nudging players to make mistakes (hello, Bill Buckner--you're off the hook) or telepathically sharing game plans with the other team, and thus clean up on the betting.
But c'mon, Charles...cheating against normal humans just to enlarge your own fortune? Not terribly ethical...Then again, recent Marvel history tells us Xavier enslaves sentient computers and erases memories of dead brothers, and is a right bastard. So maybe influencing sporting events and poker games to enrich himself wouldn't be too much of a stretch...
Or he just sent Longshot...
Nope...it turn out to be the demon vice of...gambling:
Would telepathy give Charles Xavier a big advantage in Las Vegas?
Not against the house in most games. Roulette? Craps? Keno? Slots? Video Poker? In none of those games does the dealer know what's coming, so telepathy wouldn't be of any real help.
Same for most of the card games: Let It Ride, 3 Card Poker, Caribbean Stud, Pai Gow...in all of those games, the dealer doesn't look at their cards until after all the players have made their choices. Telepathy? Not much use.
Unless...some people believe that the croupier can influence where the ball drops in roulette, and that the shooter can influence how the dice end up in craps. Of course, if this were true, the house would rapidly lose tons of money on those games, and the casinos would running them. But let's assume it's at least possible. Well, if Xavier could control the dealer/croupier/shooter with his mental abilities, he could (theoretically) substantially influence the outcomes, and turn the odds in his favor. Of course, that would be totally cheating, and immoral, but hey, Blackbird fuel don't come cheap.
But what about Blackjack? The dealer doesn't usually doesn't know what his down card is, unless he has a ten or ace face up, in which case he checks for a Blackjack. So, in about 38% of the hands, I suppose Xavier could benefit from reading the dealers' mind. Which is fairly substantial in a game where the house edge is fairly low. But that's no guarantee of a victory...you still are at the mercy of the next cards you or the dealer take, and your mental powers can't influence that.
Of course, Stan does say "incredible mental prowess," so maybe he's not talking telepathy, but smarts. Maybe Xavier's a card-counter!! If done right, that would put the odds slightly in your favor, although it's hardly a guarantee of winning a fortune (no matter what certain Hollywood films might want you to think). To take full advantage, you have to vary your wagers, betting more when the deck is in your favor, less when it's not. And the casinos are pretty good at noticing those patterns, and tossing your butt out.
Unless, of course, Xavier did indeed use his telepathy, to make sure no one noticed his volatile wagering, or forgot about it. Hidden card counting, together with reading the dealers' minds when they do check the hole card, would would turn blackjack from a game with a .5% house edge (assuming perfect play) to one with something like a 2.5-3% edge for the player. You'd still need a huge starting bankroll, and hundreds and hundreds of hours to accumulate a fortune. But it would be doable.
What about playing against other humans, as opposed to the house? Telepathy would of course be a huge advantage in poker. And in sports betting, Xavier could potentially influence the outcome of games, either by mentally nudging players to make mistakes (hello, Bill Buckner--you're off the hook) or telepathically sharing game plans with the other team, and thus clean up on the betting.
But c'mon, Charles...cheating against normal humans just to enlarge your own fortune? Not terribly ethical...Then again, recent Marvel history tells us Xavier enslaves sentient computers and erases memories of dead brothers, and is a right bastard. So maybe influencing sporting events and poker games to enrich himself wouldn't be too much of a stretch...
Or he just sent Longshot...
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tales From The Quarter Bin--The Time Jean Claude Van Damme Almost Kicked My Ass (For Reals)
The quarter bin, while a glorious place, can also be dangerous. Because sometimes you'll find a comic that reminds you of the time Jean Claude Van Damme almost kicked your ass in Las Vegas:
More on my personal brush with the Muscles From Brussels in a bit. First, what the hell is this comic book?
For starters, it's pretty damn obscure. Even GCD doesn't have a listing for it.
Secondly, it seems a fairly odd choice for a comic book adaptation, because at this point, JCVD was hardly at the "height" of his career.
But a closer look at the cover and indicia are revealing:
Yup, Canon Video, the video arm of Canon Films, the outfit that put out lots of...ahem...low-budget movies, and boomed when the home video industry needed massive amounts of product to satisfy their customers. Delta Force, Missing In Action, American Ninja (1-5), the 1990 Captain America movie, the Death Wish sequels, Kickboxer, Masters Of The Universe...if you found a VHS on the shelf at Blockbuster with mindless action and a martial artist/steroid buffoon hero, you can bet your ass it was a Canon Film. Chuck Norris, later period Charles Bronson, Van Damme--they pretty much owed their careers to Canon. (Canon also gave us Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, so all is forgiven).
So apparently, Canon decided to do a promo comic for their latest "hit," Cyborg. Which explains why every single ad in the book is pimping schlocky VHS movies:
And why the book is filled with dreamy pin-ups of oiled up "action stars":
Yes, his character was named Fender Tremolo. And Van Damme's character was named Gibson Rickenbacker. Yes, all of the characters in this movie, set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, were named after guitars. That was what passed for wit in these films...
Sadly, this comic was put together even more cheaply than a Canon film. Seriously, it is one of the worst "professional" comics I've ever seen, on almost every level:
Or...
Dude, you've got plague zombies, and this is the best you can do?!?
Or...
Really.
And to add insult to injury, when it comes time for the final confrontation between Gibson Rickenbacker and Fender Tremolo, we get this:
Congratulations. You've just been kicked in the balls by a shitty comic.
Still, as bad as this comic is, it's still better than the actual Cyborg movie, which is such a fetid piece of crap...
Wait, I better cool it. This is exactly the sort of thing that almost got my ass kicked by Jean Claude Van Damme in Las Vegas.
Oh, I did promise to tell you that story. Well, you see...
Oh, dear, we're out of time. We'll have to finish the next time I find a comic book starring Jean Claude Van Damme...
For starters, it's pretty damn obscure. Even GCD doesn't have a listing for it.
Secondly, it seems a fairly odd choice for a comic book adaptation, because at this point, JCVD was hardly at the "height" of his career.
But a closer look at the cover and indicia are revealing:
So apparently, Canon decided to do a promo comic for their latest "hit," Cyborg. Which explains why every single ad in the book is pimping schlocky VHS movies:
Sadly, this comic was put together even more cheaply than a Canon film. Seriously, it is one of the worst "professional" comics I've ever seen, on almost every level:
Or...
And to add insult to injury, when it comes time for the final confrontation between Gibson Rickenbacker and Fender Tremolo, we get this:
Still, as bad as this comic is, it's still better than the actual Cyborg movie, which is such a fetid piece of crap...
Wait, I better cool it. This is exactly the sort of thing that almost got my ass kicked by Jean Claude Van Damme in Las Vegas.
Oh, I did promise to tell you that story. Well, you see...
Oh, dear, we're out of time. We'll have to finish the next time I find a comic book starring Jean Claude Van Damme...
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Vegas Video Diary 2--How To Stretch Your Vegas Dollar
snell's visit to the "cheap casino":
Ironically, the movie was oddly prescient, because the "joke" of gambling at War has come to pass--most of the casinos, including the pricey Strip properties, offer the game now. So, given the voracious appetite of Las Vegas to suck every dime out of you, I wouldn't be surprised to see Guess Which Hand or Rock Paper Scissors in the near future.
Ironically, the movie was oddly prescient, because the "joke" of gambling at War has come to pass--most of the casinos, including the pricey Strip properties, offer the game now. So, given the voracious appetite of Las Vegas to suck every dime out of you, I wouldn't be surprised to see Guess Which Hand or Rock Paper Scissors in the near future.
Friday, August 6, 2010
I Hate Slot Machines, But...
...damn these would be tempting:
Fortunately, these guys aren't actually in Vegas...they're apparently in online casinos only.
Still, it's nice to know that Batman and Wonder Woman endorse gambling. Look Kids--casinos!! And the big guy is in on the act, too:
Marvel also has a presence in online slot play, although how long that will last with Disney no in charge is an open question. Still, come on now--a Fantastic Four slot machine? Thor?? Damn,I would be broke quick...
And look, the Chris Sims special--a Street Fighter slot machine!!
Oddest tangent: this article on 6 DC Heroes Who Shouldn't Have Their Own Slot Machine. Which is an odd enough idea for an article, but the 6 chosen are those whom I can pretty much guarantee would never ever ever have been considered. Maybe the article is written in that odd British tongue-in-cheek, so I'm missing the snark, but the author seems to serious discuss why Matter-Eater Lad would be a poor choice for slots.
But I really have to disagree on one point--a one-armed-bandit based on Arm Fall Off Boy has some amazing possibilities...
Still, it's nice to know that Batman and Wonder Woman endorse gambling. Look Kids--casinos!! And the big guy is in on the act, too:
And look, the Chris Sims special--a Street Fighter slot machine!!
Oddest tangent: this article on 6 DC Heroes Who Shouldn't Have Their Own Slot Machine. Which is an odd enough idea for an article, but the 6 chosen are those whom I can pretty much guarantee would never ever ever have been considered. Maybe the article is written in that odd British tongue-in-cheek, so I'm missing the snark, but the author seems to serious discuss why Matter-Eater Lad would be a poor choice for slots.
But I really have to disagree on one point--a one-armed-bandit based on Arm Fall Off Boy has some amazing possibilities...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Vegas Video Diary 1--Talent Show
One of the casinos had this amazingly good employee talent show last night:
Man, they've sure got some talented waiters and hostesses working there...
Man, they've sure got some talented waiters and hostesses working there...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Vacation--An Artist's Rendering
Well, it's the dog days, I've got a little jack saved up--it's time to hit Las Vegas, baby!!
Actually, by the time this publishes, I'll already be in the air. And once I land, there won't be any comic books, that's for sure. Hell, I won't even be able to get the week's batch of comics until Saturday at the earliest, and I'll be focused on...other things...
But don't worry--despite spending the week wallowing in hedonism and decadence, I've had the foresight to arrange a few mini-posts throughout the week so you, the reader, won't be deprived of my annoying snark, poor writing and worse editing.
Meanwhile, I've arranged a pictorial preview of my vacation for you. It will start with a tour trip to Boulder Dam:
What comes next? Decisions, decisions...
Maybe I'll take a stop at one of the museums depicting LV's gangster heritage...
Perhaps I'll notice that the Las Vegas Police Department are a pretty snazzy bunch of dressers...
I'll definitely notice that Herb Trimpe has apparently never seen an actual roulette wheel:
But eventually the floodgates will open:
And I'll be swept away in the delirium that is Vegas...
I'll experience triumph and tragedy...
But by the end of the week:
So see you cats later. Everybody be good now, OK??
Look, is there some reason you haven't purchased Essential Godzilla
yet, which contains Godzilla #9 (1978) by Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe? Then your life is considerably sadder than it needs to be. The very next issue, for example, featured a three-way battle in the Grand Canyon between Godzilla, a giant sasquatch, and a child-operated giant mecha with a laser sword. And then the big guy gets recruited by an alien race who (seriously) use monster battles to settle their political disputes, and it turns out Godzilla is better than any they've got. And don't get me started on the epic in which Godzilla battles the FF and the Avengers, gets shrunk down to rat size by Pym Particles, gets sent back in time to fight Devil Dinosaur, and...well, look, just get it
, OK??
But don't worry--despite spending the week wallowing in hedonism and decadence, I've had the foresight to arrange a few mini-posts throughout the week so you, the reader, won't be deprived of my annoying snark, poor writing and worse editing.
Meanwhile, I've arranged a pictorial preview of my vacation for you. It will start with a tour trip to Boulder Dam:
Look, is there some reason you haven't purchased Essential Godzilla
Monday, August 13, 2007
Viva Las Vegas
Well, my iPod is loaded with 25 different versions of Viva Las Vegas, and I'm off for the rest of the week. There shan't be any postings, so all 1 1/2 fans of mine, please don't to anxious. I'll resume next Sunday or Monday...
...unless, of course, Godzilla shows up, smashes the strip, and in a fight with the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier smashes Boulder Dam so the casino gets flooded just as I hit the big jackpot...hey, it's been known to happen!! That would be pretty damn cool...
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