Showing posts with label Jor-El. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jor-El. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Jor-El, G-Man...Uh, K-Man?!?

Poor Superman is whining again about his dead parents...

Fortunately, Jimmy has a magic wishing totem (seriously) and decides to waste use the final wish on giving Superman his wish!


The real reason for typing? So we can have a stupid plot complication like this:

Oh, Jimmy. Typing "mate" when you meant "meet"? How does that even work? Sounds like a real naughty Freudian slip, to me!

Good thing this is a Silver Age, Code-approved book, then. I sure some modern creators would literally try make Superman mate his parents. Ewwwwww!!

Nope, that just means he has to help them get married. Phew!!

Kal-El meets them when they're young and adorable...but they have a secret!!


"Kil-Lor"? Kil-Lor?!?!?! Oh my.

You do have to love the partially obscured but very obvious swastika behind them. Were Jor-El and Lara space Nazis?!?


Just then...

The KBI!!

Ah, so Jor-El is undercover, infiltrating the space Nazis!! Gee, only two cliched things could go wrong with that plan...what are the odds of both of them happening here?

100%, it turns out!

Sure, you gotta trust the Kryptonian justice system!

D'oh!!

After Kal-El frees them, and creates some Kryptonite decades early in order to defeat Kil-Lor...

Damned convenient, this science stuff!

But...but...that's very timey-wimey!!

Wait!! If Superman hadn't intervened, they would have been on in suspended animation on their satellite for 100 years, and Kal-El would not have been born before Krypton exploded!! But...but...

Forget about it snell...it's the Silver Age.

From Superman #123 (1958)

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

When Ditko Did Krypton

If you look at it from a certain angle, Jor-El is the ultimate Ditko/Randian type of hero--the lone genius no one will listen to, who will defy the rules of his society because he knows A is A, dammit, and he'll do what's necessary!!

So what happens when Ditko gets to tell his version of the exploding planet sending out one last ship?

[Note--writing credits for this story aren't firmly known--GCD lists it as "Joe Gill ?"--so I'll just be saying "Ditko" as shorthand, while acknowledging other hands were likely involved in at least plotting this story.]

Jack Lawson is up at his vacation cabin when a meteor almost hits him!

But it's not just any meteor...



What is it with these damned Science Councils not believing their planet is blowing up?!?

But unlike Krypton, this planet has a whole horde of believers!

Bala was not a particularly nice place...






Yeah, that shot's not familiar at all...

Anyway, Jack's "dream" ends.



Fortunately, the Balarites had the same weakness as the aliens in Signs:



So: exploding planet sends its only son to help and inspire us, or sends 10,000,000 miniaturized troops to conquer us?!?

I know which one Ditko (et. al.) believes...

From Space Adventures #27 (1959)

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Spoiler Sunday--Why All Of The [REDACTED] Hatred, DC?!?

You've almost certainly heard by now, or at least heard the theories, about the identity of the mysterious "Mr. Oz," who has been manipulating events in the nu52/Rebirth DC Universe.

Well, surprise, surprise: I have some things to say about that revelation.

So, if you don't want to be spoiled, well, come back later.

SPOILERS begin of the 5 pictures of Oz...





Still there?

Well, there is no sense beating around the bush, is there? This week's Action Comics #987 reveals that Mr. Oz is:

OK, then.

Now, I'll grant any caveats you like: this is just the beginning of a 4-part story; it could easily turn out not to really be Jor-El; it could be a dude from an alternate universe or such; he could be a Dr. Manhattan experiment gone awry; yada yada.

Still, this seems likely to be one more example of DC's growing hatred of Krypton.

Look, I know there have always been Kryptonian bad guys. That's what the Phantom Zone is for. Every society has it's bad apples.

And Krypton was certainly not perfect--the stupid science council ignored Jor-El's warnings, for one thing.

But still, Krypton was always presented as, if not necessarily a utopia, at least a decent place. They were pretty much like us, just more advanced. Humans could travel to Krypton (via time travel) or to Kandor, and fit right in, and be accepted. It was a good place, that had a tragic ending.

But let's look at what DC has told us in the last few years:

**The first Rebirth arc of Justice League had the Kryptonian god Rao--yup, the actual Rao--as a villain. It's turns out Rao was a parasite, a demon who tried to turn everyone on Earth into a Kryptonian so he could absorb their energy.

**The Cyborg Superman--OK, look, there are two separate Cyborg Supermen running around the Rebirth universe right now, because DC is bereft of ideas. Anyway, the Cyborg Superman I'm talking about, who wants to destroy Earth (and pretty much anything not Kryptonian) is Zor-El, Supergirl's father (and Kal-El's uncle).

**The villains of DKIII? The Master Race? Kandorians. When their enlarged, they turn out to be evil dickweeds who want to take over Earth, or, failing that, blow it up.

**Prior to the nu52, of course, Kandor was also enlarged, and, surprise, they were dickweeds. Not evil per se, but arrogant pricks who pretty much hate humans and allow themselves to goaded into the "War Of The Supermen."

**H'el, a Kryptonian (of some sort), who was going to destroy the Earth in order to make a time warp that would allow him to keep Krypton from exploding in the first place.

**The Eradicator is back, and is a nationalist/racist asshole, wanting to destroy everything non-Kryptonian and recreate Krypton on Earth.

**The asteroid that made Vandal Savage immortal? It was from Krypton.

There are more examples, but I'm too lazy to look them up right now.

And so things have reached the point where it's plausible that Jor-El--JOR-EL!!--is a genocidal madman, essentially Eradicator 2.0, willing to bend time and space and destroy millions because...well, because humans suck:



We've seen him straight-up murder people, and imprison others who might interfere with his plans. And here's the half of the issues lenticular cover that represents him:

The House Of El symbol made up of corpses. How. Nice.

This is the state of Krypton in today's DC Universe--that, without too much cognitive dissonance, we can believe that Superman's dad is Darkseid Jr.

We are apparently supposed to seriously believe that Kal-El and Kara are the only good people from Krypton. That everyone else--including their parents!!--was xenophobic, genocidal maniacs who held any other life-form in contempt. That Krypton was a hellhole filled with assholes who would as soon wipe us out as look at us.

The question, of course, is why in the world DC has chosen this direction. Why make Krypton nothing but a source of evil, constantly bedeviling Earth? Why make half of Superman's heritage Kryptonian supremacists whose only function is to torment Kal-El and company? Why moot the tragedy of Krypton's destruction by positing that, well, they kind of deserved it?

What dramatic purpose is served by treating krypton this way? Is it just another manifestation of the misguided "heroes must suffer" mantra--just Superman's version of Flash's mother having to die for him to be a hero? Are the current creators so insecure that Kal-El would choose to defend Earth that they have to make his other home look indefensible in contrast?!?

I just don't get it.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Why You Should Stay Off Of The Kryptonian eHarmony!

This had damned well better be a plot from that stupid Krypton prequel they're making...

You guys remember this the next time you let a computer program help find you dates (or mates)...

From The Essential Superman Encyclopedia (2012)

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Evil Is All In The Spelling!!

Nightwing and Flamebird have tracked down the mysterious hooded Crime-Lord, the dude who's behind all of the crime in Kandor!

But his true identity just might surprise you:


No, dopey...not Jor-El...Jur-Ll!!!

That's how you know he's from an alternate dimension--the spelling!!


Oh, yeah, and the "ruler of a criminal empire" part. That's a clue, as well!






Yes, irony is a bitch, even in alternate dimensions.

I will say this--thanks to Marshall Rogers, Jur-Ll dies really well:


Well, that had to hurt.

Someone better get Grant Morrison on the horn quickly, before he finishes Multiversity...

From Superman Family #194(1979)