April Madness Round IV--The Weakest Link!!

It's the final preliminary battle in The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society!! Which grouping of heroes will reign supreme?!?

This is the most fascinating battle of all the first rounders, featuring

vs.

Now, Flash and Zatanna are pretty powerful. I toyed with making them a higher seed, but...well, there's Red Tornado.

You know with all your being that, at some point, Red Tornado is going to start crying, or self-destruct, or get taken over by someone. Everyone knows this:

It's just a question of whether it happens during one of our battles our not. So our third seed has a significant handicap.

Then again, so does the other team.

More than one of you suggested that the Thunderbolt is so powerful, his team should just win automatically. As commentator Mista Whiskas put it, "The Thunderbolt could just will all the teams out of existence, right?"

Well, yes...except for one thing. The Thunderbolt can't operate independently. He has to wait from order from Johnny Thunder, who is, well, as stupid as a bag of stupid hammers:

I mean come on, you're saying plenty of two and three syllable words, but the hiccups mean you can't get out "Cei-U"?!?!?

It's an illustration of snell's Third Law Of Comic writing: The more powerful your character, the STUPIDER the obstacles you have to create to keep him from solving the dilemma in one panel. So, Thunderbolt is powerful, yes. But wielded by a moron.

Which means this battle goes about as you'd expect. Zatanna immediately shuts Johnny up ("!htuom s'ynnhoJ no raeppa gaG"). Flash creates a speed vacuum so no one can hear Canary's scream. And hey, Red Tornado doesn't malfunction this time around, deflecting all of Ollie's arrows with his wind while Flash gives him a love tap.

Team Flash/Zatanna/Red Tornado is pretty powerful...but can they take on Batman's group? Find out tomorrow, as we head for the semi-finals!!

Manic Monday Bonus--The Vanilla Ice Of 1941?!?

The Flash is stepping down from the Justice Society, because he got his own comic book (that's how things worked back then!!).

So who wants to replace him?

Well, the JSAers decide to have a little bit of fun with Johnny, to pay him back for his impertinence:

Killer McPanzee?!?

Geez!

Ah, but it turns out that our heroes pulling Johnny's leg a bit...

A old guy with his own printing press, who prints up fake newspapers about how many people he's killed so people will think he's tough?

Ladies and gentlemen, Gardner Fox invented gangster rap several decades early!!

Of course, the JSA soon found out that it wasn't funny, as Johnny's misadventures uncovered many actual criminal enterprises, which required the heroes to get off their butts and actual fight crime.

NOTE: Is there anything more chilling than the Spectre's "Ho-ho-ho" "Ha-ha-ha!"?? I mean, do you really want this guy playing practical jokes...?

From All-Star Comics #6 (1941)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--This Should Help Your Case Of The Mondays!!

Well, an evil archeologist has discovered magic paint from Atlantis. He's used it to paint magic paintings, whose figures come to life and wreak havoc when struck by moonlight!! He's painted some pictures, and sent them to all of his enemies. GOLDEN AGE!!

Anyway, in their usual style, the Justice Society of America has split up, and Johnny Thunder has been given the task of fetching the painting that's been sent to a sea captain!!

There's only one flaw in the plan--Johnny is an idiot.

So, getting himself thrown in the brig as a danger to himself and others...better than the usual outcome of a Johnny Thunder story!!

Still, with Johnny out of the way, we can now enjoy this bit of heaven:

COWBOY MERMEN RIDING SEAHORSES RUNNING AMOK ON A CRUISE SHIP!!

Thank you, Golden Age.

From All-Star Comics #28 (1946)

A Place In The World!

No snark today about an important comic book:

In late 1945, as injured veterans were coming home from the war and trying to fit back into civilian life, the National Institute for the Handicapped asked DC to do a special comic. They rushed the story into print--apparently the stories for issues #28 and #29 were already done, but everyone wanted this issue out as soon as possible.

We start with Fred Monday, big time athlete:

Fred's younger brother, Jimmy, is confined to a wheelchair (no reason was given).

Fred is, well, kind of a jerk in his feeling towards Jimmy:

Well, after a little trip to the European Theater...

...Fred finds himself with a handicap. And he starts to see things from the other side:

Well, when the Justice Society of America comes to visit Fred's hospital, he secures a meeting with them:

The JSAers have a particularly super-heroic plan:

So Hawkman flies out to Louisiana, where some thieves are using the swamps to escape during some daring robberies.

Ed Laviere suffers from polio, but his knowledge of the swamps and his strong swimming ability help Hawkman bust the goons.

Meanwhile, in "the Northwest," a scumbag is trying to buy up timber land, and using arson to punish those who won't sell.

Young Hal Poroski may be blind...

...but with Dr. Mid-Nite's help, he saves his father's land, captures the crooks, and...

In New Mexico, Sven Lundquist is having a bad time:

In a Scooby Doo plot, extortionists are posing as a Zuni god to demand tribute. With Green Lantern's help, Sven uses his knowledge of local customs and history to nip that in the bud, and...

In "Big City," Anthony Cellini is going deaf, but is too ashamed to let his teachers and classmates know:

His courage (and lip-reading ability) help Wildcat bust up a gang of jewel thieves!

"Out West," Tommy O'Leary isn't taken seriously because of his stutter:

He helps Johnny Thunder thwart a gang of rustlers, and...

Meanwhile, in Hollywood...

Billy Yancy can't get anyone to take his writing seriously. The only agent he could find is actually using the mysteries he writes as blueprints for real-life crimes!!

That ends quickly, with the Flash's help:

And the JSA members return home to tell Frank and Jimmy of their successes:

So:

A worthy lesson and reminder for all of us.

From All-Star Comics #27 (1945). Script by Gardner Fox. Art by Martin Naydel (framing sequences and Flash story), Joe Kubert (Hawkman), Stan Aschmeier (Dr. Mid-Nite and Johnny Thunder), Paul Reinman (Green Lantern) and Jon Chester Kozlak (Wildcat).

The issue is available on Comixology, for less than the price of your coffee this morning, if you wish to read the whole thing.