Guardians Of The Universe--C$%& Blockers!!

Who's the black Green Lantern that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

John Stewart!!

You're damn right...until one of the Guardians comes calling, that is:

WAIT...did he just say what I think he said? He made John interrupt "the completion of his pleasure"?!?!?!?!?

You just know Hal Jordan would never let that act go uncompleted!

John tries to make sure the home fires will still be burning...

..but after his little adventure:

"I dunno"??? "Guess"???? "Report to the Guardians"????

Dude, Beverly is waiting--in your bed!!

John--BEVERLY IS WAITING FOR YOU IN BED!!!!!

John Stewart, you are no Hal Jordan!!

From Green Lantern #165 (1983)

Oopsie!

A rough day for John Stewart...

Don't worry, John--accidents happen.

It's not like you blew up a planet or something, right?

Oh, yeah, right...sorry.

From Green Lantern #167 (1985)

How To Evade Hal Jordan's Unwanted Attentions!

What to do when Hal Jordan pus the moves on you?

Katma Tui has a solution!

After she totally saves Hal's butt when he's been beaten by Sinestro, Hal thanks her in a way we'd consider inappropriate these days:

So, has does Katma deal with it?

Really.

This is Katma Tui, who was going to leave the Green Lantern Corps and marry male Korugaran scientist Imi Khan until Hal tricked her out of it (Silver Age!!). Then again, If Korugarans who look female to us Earthers aren't female, well, maybe males aren't male, either.

Still, this is Katma Tui, who married Earther Green Lantern John Stewart. So those trans-species gender problems suddenly didn't matter? Was John just studlier than Hal? A better kisser? (As if!!) I'm sure Hal had some questions about that wedding! ("But I thought you said...)

Or did Crisis somehow effect the gender status of Korugarans? Should we explore how that effects Sinestro and perhaps explains his obsession with Hal?!?

I've researched, and can't a single other instance where we get confirmation of Katma's "no, I just look female" status. So we have to assume that she's totally bullshitting Hal here, right?

So, I guess if someone is harassing you , you can try the "Sorry, wrong species, chum" defense. If it works against Hal Jordan, it will work against anyone!!

From Green Lantern #124 (1980)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Too Many Lanterns?

Some people don't deal with change very well.

Major Disaster knows that Green Lantern is Hal Jordan, and he wants a face-off with his greatest foe. So he's threatening to blow up a dam unless GL shows up.

Well, Green Lantern does show up...just the wrong one:

See, Hal Jordan recently quit as a Green Lantern (because part of being considered the "Greatest Green Lantern Of All Time" apparently involves being a quitter), and John Stewart has the role.

But nobody told Major Disaster about this "many Lanterns from Earth" business...

Well, let's skip some pointless fisticuffs, and cut to the chase:

Well. the dam accidentally blows up anyway, because Disaster sucks at his job.

And, like some higher-ups at DC, he just can't fathom the possibility that someone besides Hal Jordan could be Green Lantern...

POW!!

Of course it was all a trick by John. Because some Green Lanterns can think their way through a fight.

From Green Lantern #183 (1984)