Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Batarangs Are Better Than Spells, Anyway!

So some douchebag ancient sorcerer named Wa'Ar-Zen is trying to RUUUULE THE WOOOORLD by assembling some olde tyme artifact, and only Batman and the Spectre can stop him.

So Batman tries the old "dress up as enemy's long-dead rival" trick.

It doesn't work.

So only the Spectre can save us now!!

Or maybe not...?

SUPER FREAKOUT!!!

Well, Batman's down, Spectre's down. I guess we're all dead.

Except:

BATARANGS ARE BETTER THAN NIGH-INFINITE SUPERNATURAL POWERS!!

And apparently, Spectre concurs:

Batman: cooler and stronger than God's Angel Of Vengeance.

From The Brave And The Bold #180 (1981)

Friday Night Fights--Just One Page Style!!

Not a lot of time for this week's Friday Night Fights, so let's be quick:

Batman vs. Nazi grave-robbers!

'Nuff said!

Spacebooger could watch Batman beat up Nazis all day long!

Robert Kanigher and Jim Aparo set up Batman's trip to Argentina in The Brave And The Bold #188 (1982)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? No time to worry--just go vote!!

The Dangerous Lifestyle Of Comic Book Creators!!

There are some comic books that blow up your brains.

And then there's this one:

W.
T.
F?

Now, you may want to dismiss this as a "symbolic" cover, or a joke cover.

No, no, no. This is Bob Haney, folks. And this is an honest-to-God comic story about how criminals try to force Jim Aparo to draw a scene where Batman dies so he'll really die and they'll get away with their crimes.

Prepare to go the rabbit hole, kids...

Our plot, such as it is, involves Sgt. Rock teaming up with Batman to find a hijacked shipment of "M-76" rifles, which a group of masked whackos called The Thousand are using for random terror attacks to spread fear and discord.

Say what you will about Haney, but he threw out more ideas in one story than most writers come up with in a year.

Detective works leads our heroes to a locker at the bus station...

Oops, time for the artist to take a break before drawing the next panel!

You read that right: these nutters stole Haney's script, and replaced it with one where Rock and Batman died--and now they're trying to force Jim Aparo to draw it, so it will really happen!!

Fortunately, comics artists are smooth customers!

Well, there is one exit--a tiny air vent that Aparo is just small enough to fit through!!

Then...

What...? Huh?!?! Who the hell lived in an "abandoned reconditioned lighthouse"?!?!??!

But is Aparo in time to save Batman?

YES!!!

Yup, it's time for Bob Haney himself to turn up!!

That's editor Murray Boltinoff, by the way...

So, let's take a second to think about how these cosmic mechanics work. Jim Aparo draws something, and it effects Batman and Rock? But the script doesn't, not until Aparo actually draws it?!? Does that mean Aparo is God or something?? Or is only effecting stuff in Batman's comic book universe?!? But, if that's the case, then why do the Thousand in the "real" world care what happens in the comic book universe?!? But....but....but...

[Editor's Note: snell had to go get some alcohol to finish this post.]

Anyway...

Aparo keeps drawing ridiculous twists and coincidences that allow Batman and Rock to survive attacks by the Thousand:

And...

Meanwhile, prepare for your head to hurt again!

This story...this story...WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!

This is like Duck Amuck except terrorists are forcing Bugs Bunny to kill Daffy so they can....

Anyway, Boltinoff and Haney continue to talk Aparo through how to draw Batman and Rock winning...

 But then the Thousand find out where Aparo is!

So Haney tells Aparo to draw Batman and Rock rescuing him in an exciting helicopter/boat chase!

All's well that ends well!

And this explains why sometimes comics are late. Because terrorists try to make them kill their characters. Or something like that...

From The Brave And The Bold #124 (1976)

The Best Cover You've Seen: Brave And The Bold #197 (1973)

OK, OK, you almost certainly have seen it before...

But three reasons to run this today:

A) Still in low content mode, as my recovery had a minor setback, and my phone bricked, and life sucks.

B) It is one hell of a piece of perfection, isn't it? The woman in fishnets parachuting into the desert behind Batman, Batman with his-oh-so-clever masterplan and he's so brilliant except he doesn't realize that there's a gun pointed right at his crotch. Jim Aparo at his absolute best!

C) The story is brought to mind the the recently published Batman in The Brave & The Bold: The Bronze Age Omnibus (Batman: the Brave and the Bold - the Bronze Age).

I don't know what the deal is. but even though it's a $125 list, Amazon has been selling this guy for $46.39?!? That's a whole lot of quality DC comics there, guys.

Have a nice day. I'll try to be productive tomorrow.

Best Cover You've Never Seen--The Brave & The Bold #106 (1973)

Not just for the obvious reason (Jim Aparo, duh!)...

...But also because it shows Oliver once again looking like a frakk-up in front of Batman...

...And actual word balloons on a cover!!!...

..."PLUS?"...SPOILER ALERT--It's Two-Face!!

Pretty perfect cover, is all I'm sayin'...

The Truth About Disco--Gotham-Style!!

You kids today and your Blu-Rays of American Hustle and you're ironically-downloaded remixes of Bee Gees songs and your drugged out "raves," you think you know what disco was all about.

Well, flibbety floo!! You've got no idea of the grandeur that was the Disco Era. Hang tight, because you're about to get the unvarnished truth about disco--Gotham-Style!!

Bruce Wayne has flown Barry and Iris out to Gotham City for a luxury weekend--and midewestern gal Iris is damned impressed by the big city:

Oh, Bruce, what a dick.

Still, it's a good thing that you're wearing that leisure suit...

OK, are you ready (no, you're not) to see what disco was really like? Brace yourselves!

Seriously, this is a 100% true depiction of what the disco era was like. Yowsah!

And then the panel of the decade:

John Travolta had nothing on Bruce Wayne.

But wait, we've barely begun to scratch the surface of the disco phenomenon. Because I'm dead certain that you never knew that disco included this:

Disco Pirates!!!

Disco Jaguars!!

Disco Jokers!!! (Yes, that is just some dude dressed like the Joker, not the real villain)

And don't forget...

The Phantom Of The Stardust!!

Wait, who's again?

Yowsah, indeed!!

Except, of course, this is Gotham City, so it turns out that the Phantom is really the ghost of a guy whose girlfriend died on that location in one of those 1930s dance marathons. So know he comes back and dances young ladies to death, stealing their life force.

No, really:

Ah, disco, how we miss you...

From Brave And The Bold #151 (1979)