The Night Of Five Molocule Men!!

It starts with some kids cosplaying in the swamp, because that isn't dangerous at all...

See what I mean?

Man-Thing shows up to save Cynthia from the alligator...

...but she still panics, and manages to run into a radioactive quicksand pit, because Marvel Universe...

...and then...

...it turns out that it was the real wand of the actual Molecule Man, whom everyone thought was dead, but no, he had actually transferred his mind into the wand, and now he's awake and has taken over her!!

After a quick costume change/growth spurt...

...she terrorizes poor Mom...

...and then we look inside her crowded noggin...

...and she's kicking the crap outta Iron Man, until Man-Thing intervenes again...

...and everything goes back to normal...

...but oh, that troublesome wand!

HOLY CRAP!!!!! 

Well, Iron Man is tough enough to snatch the wand...

...but is he tough enough to Shatner-act his way out of being possessed himself?

Fortunately, Man-Thing again steps in...

...and thus endeth the threat.

The moral: Don't go to Florida. This kinda stuff happens every day down there.

From Iron Man Annual #3 (1976)

The Spy Who Killed Me!!

And then there was the time Tony Stark was assassinated!

Oh, don't worry, Comics Code! It was only an LMD!! Sherlock Holmes used the very same trick once!!

Anyway, you know who doesn't get enough love? Spymaster, that's who! Great costume, great shtick...

...and great gadgets!! Even Iron Man thinks so:

Plus, he also has...

...more cool gadgets!!!

Plus--electrified nunchucks!!

OF course, this is Iron Man you're fighting, so...

So...

Gotta love the bounce.

Don't worry, Comics Code--Spymaster had earlier boasted of having "absorption mesh" in his costume that let him absorb big impacts. So he's probably not permanently crippled.

So why doesn't Spymaster get more play these days?

Sure, he's a bit out of Iron Man's weight class, as Shellhead seemingly gets more powerful every day. But that's sort of the point--like Superman, you're not going to beat him physically. But using guile and craft and great Q-Branch style gadgets? You can bedevil him and frustrate him and confuse him, even if you don't defeat him. He's like Toyman is to Superman...

Plus, there are plenty of other heroes Spymaster could take on, especially in the "younger generation." Let him come up against Moon Girl or Ms. Marvel or Nova. That's one interesting way the Marvel Universe has evolved in the last few years--the old guard is focused more on Earth-shattering crises. So let the new guard take on some of the old school "minor" threats!

Anyway, Spymaster. Bring him back more often, please.

From Iron Man #117 (1978)

Manic Monday Bonus--Bendis Is Leaving!!

This quote from Bendis was floating around the Twitters last week:

A lot of people took exception to his apparent dissing of Superman's rogues gallery.

I'll let Superman fans handle that one.

But dissing Iron Man's rogues gallery? Are you nuts?

This from the man who thought bringing in The Hood (twice), with exactly the same scheme he used when Bendis brought him in as the Avengers big bad, was a good idea.

So let's just take a little survey from the late 70's & 80s. These guys were all available when Bendis "had issues" with finding good Iron Man villains.

Let's not even do the Mandarin, or Ultimo. Let's see what else was available. I'm sure he'd dismiss Mandarin as "done to death." So let's see who else there is.

The Guardsman (or Guardsmen)--Tony Stark designed armor that drove the user--your best friend--mad?! What's not to love? Yeah, nothing there to "dig deep into the wounds" of Tony Stark.

Look--a Maggia leader modeling himself after a Greek myth? And his daughter, herself a dangerous criminal with a tragically scarred face, is your girlfriend?!? Gee, sorry these weren't as good as you wanted. (In fairness, Bendis did use Madame Masque, but more a way to introduce the all-new, all-mystic Victor Von Doom into the supporting cast).

Unicorn--a criminal whose costume is both killing him and driving him insane, and used as a disposable pawn my every criminal mastermind in the book.

Spymaster. Come on, Bendis--SPYMASTER. A super-duper industrial espionage agent who has the coolest toys. You can't find a story for him?

Melter! Blizzard! Whiplash!! 

Sure, minor leaguers, maybe...but they always seem to find someone to pay to upgrade their powers enough to become a serious threat to Tony. Plus, Bendis is all about criminal mastermind uniting the underworld (see his many, many Hood stories). So these guys would fit right in!

Dreadnought!! Hydra-designed robots with seemingly infinite weapons systems that were later rented out to the Maggia and were later given Super-Adaptoid technology? No-brainer!!

Titanium Man!!! A bigger guy in bigger armor who represents the apotheosis of Iron Man's philosophy. You think Putin wouldn't still employ him?!?

Look, Bendis might have healed Doom's face, and had him reform, and dedicate himself to the mystic arts in one of Tony Stark's stolen armors (??) and impregnate Tony's girlfriend (no, I'm not making that up) and lose a fight with The Hood because sure, why not? But instead of all that, Doom should be a perfect villain for Tony Stark. Sigh...

Living Laser!! You can never go wrong with lasers!!

MODOK! If you can't find a use for MODOK, why are you writing comics?

The Ghost!! Industrial saboteur who can turn invisible and intangible? Good enough for the Ant-Man and The Wasp movie. Not good enough for Bendis.

MANDROIDS!! MANDROIDS!!

Crimson Dynamo. See Titanium Man. Except he's crimson!!

Grey Gargoyle!! A French scientist who can turn people an things into stone!! Sacre Bleu!!

And then there's this guy:

Seriously, though. If you can't find something worthwhile in Iron Man's rogues gallery, well, you're not really trying.

Maybe Bendis can take The Hood with him to DC...?