Spoiler Sunday--What Are Teachers Teaching The Children In Marvel-616?

[MINOR SPOILERS FOR NOVA #15]

A bit of background--Karl Moffet is a it of as bully towards Sam Alexander, our current Nova. But Karl just recently had a frightening close encounter with Beta Ray Bill, even though no one believes him.

So:

Now wait just one darn tootin' minute!!

Sam, of course, is just trying to torment his tormentor--he's well aware of many, many aliens out there.

But what about the teacher?

Let's be clear that this is Marvel-616, which in recent months has seen:

**The Hulk lead a force of alien warriors to Earth, publicly devastating Manhattan.

**A full-fledged alien invasion by Skrulls, who broadcast messages to the all people of Earth. And the entire world saw Norman Osborn shoot an alien queen in the head, which led to him becoming crazy popular and being put in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R.

**Asgard floating over Oklahoma, and an invasion of surly ur-Asgardians, again kicking the crap out of the entire planet. (Sure, they may or may not be technically aliens--but the question is what do the citizens of Earth consider them? Do they believe that they're actual gods?!?)

**Thanos and his minions taking over the planet whilst the Avengers were away.

All of these were massively covered by the media, and all had to have had some fairly major repercussions--economically, socially--on the whole country, if not the world.

Now, the tiny town of Carefree, Arizona was probably not directly impacted by too much of this. But then again, they weren't at ground zero for 9/11 or the moonwalk, either.

So, when this unnamed "science" teacher to say that there "may" be life out there, that there are "no signs" of regular visits, and to agree with Sam that it's all just media fiction...Really? Is this the guy we want teaching science to our kids? Because, well, that's shockingly ignorant, isn't it?

Or has the government done such a wonderful job of covering everything up, of running disinformation campaigns to hide the truth, that this is a mainstream opinion amongst the normal denizens of the Marvel Universe? "Oh, those New Yorkers, they exaggerate everything!" "Oh, it's just the administration trying to distract us from the economy?"

Then again, the people loved Osborn after Secret Invasion--that was a major plot point, that's why the president gave him the job. And Asgard is just hanging there, for everyone to see...

So, Marvel citizens? Dupes or dopes? Or is this teacher just some outlier...?

Tales From The Quarter Bin--The Power Pachyderms!

Oh, Quarter Bin, the painful memories you manage to evoke!

Such as the time Marvel tried to hop on the late 1980s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle craze:

Oh, dear, I thought I had suppressed that memory forever.

You see, on Earth-12927, there's a familiar mishap at a gamma bomb test site:

 Meanwhile, a circus train car of pregnant elephants had been rolling by,,,

...resulting in:

And, after communing with four of the Three Stooges (for gods' sake, DON'T ASK) those elephants became...

No, I don't know why an Elektra analogue is in an X-Men parody...

They did, however, have a pretty bitching HQ:

And they end up meeting their arch-foe in their very first mission:

During the battle, Electralux falls into a vat of radioactive make-up (?)...

Ah, there's a female X-Man...

OK, that mock-Claremontism made me laugh.

Anyway, they beat the bad guys, save Electralux, go back and beat the crap out of the Stooges (DON'T ASK), and we leave them...

This sad little enterprise, from 1989, was pretty dismal. It couldn't make up it's mind whether it wanted to be a straight-up pastiche, a wonky 1950s-MAD style "throw everything-at-wall-and-see-what-sticks" style romp, a funny animal book, or a parody of the X-Men. It didn't do any of those terribly well, and sort of stunk.

The credits read "Created by" Tom DeFalco and Adam Blaustein, written by Roger Stern, penciled by Blaustein, inked by Jon D'Agostino. All of whom probably hate me right now for bringing this book up. Sorry.

The Power Pachyderms have pretty much faded from memory...until Jonathan Hickman revives them for an important role in the upcoming Infinity event (OK, probably not...)