Manic Monday Bonus--Joining A Fan Club, Or Taking A College Entrance Exam?!?

This ad appeared in Star Hunters #2 (1977):

Hey, it was nice that they had fan clubs, and even specific fan clubs for specific franchises.

But you have to  send DC a stamped envelope (they ain't paying for the postage, mister!), and you still don't get into the fan club quite yet.

Nope, then you get a "detailed application form." and a "special questionnaire testing your knowledge." Because why would DC want to make it easy to be in their fan club? Why not make fans pay their own postage and jump through hoops? And with the application you had to send in a $4 membership fee.

I'm just saying, I've seen Ivy League applications that required less. (No, I haven't. It's a joke).

As to our specific chapters:

I have to admit, I had no idea who/what DC Battle Stars was. A little internet poking around indicates that it was catch-all name for DC's many war heroes, as captured here by Fred Hembeck:

In typical DC fashion, this was just a couple of months before the infamous DC Implosion, so the project ended up being unceremoniously dumped almost before it even started. Apparently, only the Superman chapter received their goodies. But everyone else got refunds their $4.

You can look here to see the application form, quiz (for the Legion Of Super-Heroes) and list of promised but never delivered goodies...

Sunday Puzzle Time With Bug!!

You know, as much as I hate the ridiculous affectation that the Micronauts' Bug has to say "tik" every other word balloon, I can't help but love the fella.

So, it's time for...

Yay!!!

What's up, Bug?

You know, it looks like Bug (and Fred Hembeck) have the same opinion of "word search" puzzles as I do...take a closer look:

You tell 'em, guys.

Now someone get to work on the Bug/Ambush Bug team-up we so clearly need...

From Bug #1 (1997)

The Skeeviest Brother Voodoo Story Ever

Look, I'm going to give you fair warning. Something in this post is going to make you go "EEEEEWWWWWWW" worse than you've ever gone "EEEEEEWWWWW" in your life. Seriously.

So if you don't want to get seriously sickened, don't read this post. I'll understand.

Still here? OK, you'll get two more warnings before the big gross-out.

Down in Haiti, Brother Voodoo has just rescued some folks in a rowboat during a storm. On the beach, his hot doctor girlfriend aids and comforts him:


Wow, that's nice...she loved him so much she decided to stay with him rather than follow her dreams.

Jericho Drumm, however, seems to be a bit tetchy:



OK, here's another warning: bail out now if you ever want to like this character again...



Final warning--if you keep reading, there's not enough soap in all the world to wash the vision of this scene out of your eyeballs...




EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

So, rather than trust her in a long-distance relationship, Jericho used his dead brother's ghost to possess her, and change her mind so she'd stay.

And Daniel's loa was inside her, as Jericho reveals later, for "several months."

EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

And while we don't see anymore of their...ahem...physical relationship than I've shown you here, we do get some pretty tight hugging, and a love as great as she professed must have involved a smooch or too....

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

And to make sure that we're completely clear on the concept here:

So Brother Voodoo was macking on a chick who had his dead brother's ghost inside her????? And in fact, dead ghost brother was compelling her actions?? So, effectively, he was playing tonsil hockey with his own dead brother????

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

And, of course, using your voodoo powers to make a chick give up her career goals (one of which was curing AIDS!!) just show she'll stick around and love you pretty much is a complete and utter fail on the great power/great responsibility scale. I mean, we're getting near Doctor Light territory for skeeviness and for totally destroying a character.

Oh, sure, he felt guilty, and he let her go. And she forgives him, and hopes that someday he can forgive himself. Seriously, she said that!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Now, this was a story buried deep in Marvel Super-Heroes #1 (1990), an anthology/clean out our backfiles title, so probably only 10 people read it. But still, Scott Lobdell, Fred Hembeck (yes, THAT Fred Hembeck) and Dell Barras--what the hell were you thinking???

EWEEEWWWWWWWWWWWEWEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Expiration Dates

To celebrate the tenth anniversary of Jason Todd's death, in 1999 Fred Hembeck, in his Dateline @!!?* column for CBG, had a similar contest...readers could call in to vote whether or not Fred was killed. I don't know whether this was the actual result, or just Fred having fun...but he was killed.

Anyhoo, he gets a call from Maggie Thompson, telling him why his newly dead status will be a boon for his column:

Uhh...about those interviews, Fred:

Barry Allen? No longer dead.
Bucky Barnes? No longer dead.
Hal Jordan? No longer dead.
Thomas and Martha Wayne? Unclear, until Grant Morrison gets around to clearing up the red herrings he's managed to cast around in Batman R.I.P.
Most any citizen of Krypton? Well, at least 100,000 no longer dead.
And of course, Jason Todd--most emphatically no longer dead.

Interesting, isn't it, how flexible that which was once untouchable canon has become in the past decade. I'm just sayin'...

Panels from The Nearly Complete Essential Hembeck Archives Omnibus, of course.

Comics I Wish I Had--Jimmy Olsen #88

A comic I really, really need to find and read--Jimmy Olsen #88, 1965:

I HAVE to read this story. Bonus...according to GCD, Jor-El and Lara also appear in that same story. Whaa?!?!

Hat tip to Fred Hembeck...his version of the cover is shown in the awesomely delicious Nearly Complete Essential Hembeck Archives Omnibus. Please go buy a copy, because I think it will make you happy, and I like happy people.

Resumé

Jim Salicrup wrote the introduction to The Nearly Complete Essential Hembeck Archives Omnibus. From the little bio paragraph at the end of the intoduction:

Wait a minute...let's look at one sentence again:

"...known for editing the best-selling Spider-Man #1."

Really?

Because when people talk about the sales frenzy surrounding Spider-Man #1, the first thing they mention is Salicrup's editing

Billy: Dude, I just got a copy of Spider-Man #1!!
Jimmy: Winnage! Isn't that the one that was edited by Jim Salicrup??
Billy: You know it is!! I've almost completed my collection of Salicrup-edited comics!
Jimmy: Hey, didn't somebody famous write or draw that, or somethin'?
Billy: Oh, who cares about that...just check out this editing!!
Jimmy: Whoa!!

Apologies to Jim Salicrup...I just felt like being a dick today, I guess. But you've got to admit, it's a silly line in the bio...

Hoarded Treasure

Despite all the Grant Morrison, despite the Starman omnibus, this was the best new release this week:

Ahhh, big-city-phone-book-sized goodness...

But, despite the 900-page size, this book is correctly titled, and it is only "nearly complete." Missing is all the work he did for Marvel and DC. The Marvel Age pieces, the Daily Planet strips, Fred Hembeck Destroys the Marvel Universe, Fred Hembeck Sells the Marvel Universe, the Fantastic Four Roast, etc.

Now, look, Marvel and DC. This long-unseen material isn't making you any money just sitting around in your vaults. So now, while the Hembeck iron is hot, why not republish this stuff, in trade or omnibus or essential or whatever? You could make some money, and please some fans at the same time.

Or better yet, what about commissioning some NEW work from Hembeck?!? Because, heaven knows, the DC & Marvel universes could certainly use some levity these days. An ability to laugh at themselves has been missing from these companies for awhile (Eliopoulos and Sumerak's Franklin Richards strips being an obvious exception).

Nirvana

This is the coolest thing I've ever seen:

I'm already grinning like an idiot...full details here.