Manic Monday--The Best Way To Attract That Guy!!

Poor Meg has it bad for BMOC Dan!

Wait--"Satanic eyebrows" are attractive?!? Man, I will never get women...

Anyway, Meg works hard to find ways to attract Dan's attention--like posture!

And fashion!!

Well, that will work, right? Guys are always attracted posture and clothes!

D'oh!!

Hey, wait, Dan likes music!!

So Meg quite rationally spends hours and hours and hours mastering an instrument:

That's gotta work, right?

D'oh!!

Well, I guess Meg is out of options...until her cheeky younger brother accidentally gives some advice:

Uh-oh!

Really? A new hairdo is going to work?

Oh, yeah...

Off course, the story doesn't tell us what Meg would have had to do if other girls on campus already had pigtails--a mohawk? Go bald? Dye it green?

So remember, ladies--figure out the hair fetishes of your prospective man, and swish that pigtail!!

From Teen-Age Love #14 (1960)

Manic Hair Day #3--The True Purpose Of Superman's "Spit Curl"

For some reason we're talking about Superman's hair all day today. Why? BECAUSE.

Anyway, one of the more distinctive features of Kal-El's hairdo is the "spit curl" that covers his big dopey forehead. But did you know that spit curl has a very specific and important purpose?

We start as Lois Lane decides that she absolutely has to figure out the secret method that Clark Kent uses to contact Superman:

Well, it turns out that Soviet spies are also trying to find out this information, and Lois Lane is unknowingly helping them!! Some smart reporter you are, Lois!

Well, after a full story of antics (X-ray binoculars!! Open manhole covers! Helicopter crashes!!) and unlikely coincidences (Trucks painted with lead paint driving by at the exact right moment! Enemy agents working at Galaxy Broadcasting!), Lois finally deduces precisely how Clark manages to contact Superman when there's trouble afoot:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

 Lois, you completely pulled that out of your ass. I mean, really. I hope you did actual investigation and reporting when you won your Pulitzer, and didn't just make crap up like this.

But  there is a "real purpose" to the spit curl:

Oh, Clark...we all know the real reason that people don't recognize you as Superman, and the hair curl has nothing to do with it!

From Action Comics #446 (1975)

Manic Hair Day #2--How Superman Shaves??

For some odd reason, there has been plenty of blather over the interwebs lately about how Superman shaves. Amazing what trivia will obsess people.

Especially when a far more important question is: What happens when Superman stops shaving?

This is an "imaginary story" (aren't they all...?), but I think it adequately establishes one important fact: at some point, Superman will just say "Frak it!' and stop shaving all together.

Why?

Yup, Superman becomes a feisty old grandpa, no longer worried about his appearance or personal hygiene (or, perhaps he's trying out for ZZ Top!).

So, instead of worrying about how Superman shaves, let's just be glad that he does. It could be far worse if he didn't:

Bonus panel: In case you're confused about the family tree in this story:

No mention of the wives' names, though...and it would kill you to name one of the scions Jonathan?

From Action Comics #327 (1965)

Manic Hair Day #1--The Origin Of The Dread Super-Mullet!!

For some reason, there's been a lot of discussion online of late regarding the "mullet" Superman wore back in the 90s.

Well, most of you don't realize that his hairstyle had a secret origin...back in the 1960s!!

Young Lex Luthor has found a scientific way to duplicate young Mxyzptlk's powers, and he sets out to bedevil Superboy:

Oh, yeah!! Accidental super-mullet!!

Fortunately, Superboy is one hero you can't stop by having hair in his eyes:

And young Kal-El adapts nicely to his dilemma...and looks rather smashing doing it:

...and from their on the hair is gone as Superboy is made to undergo a few more transformations.

But obviously, the memory of this event somehow echoed through the fabric of the post-Crisis DC Universe, and subtly influenced the recovery of Superman's body during his "death." Obviously.

Oh, here's a bonus panel for you:

Superboy, transformed into a jackass, using heat vision to carve KLTPYXM into the sidewalk. [SPOILER ALERT: It didn't work]

From Superboy #131 (1966)