Friday Night Fights--Better Than Uber Style!!

It's been too long since we've checked in with our favorite Golden Age cab driver, Hack O'Hara. So let's kill two birds with one stone in this week's Friday Night Fights, as Hack is kidnapped by escaping bank robbers, who force him to be their getaway driver:

Well, on the long and winding escape route, Hack sees an opportunity few of us would have the fortitude to take advantage of...

Let's see your Uber driver do that!!

But we shouldn't gloat yet--there are still crooks to clean up!

SMACK!!

Spacebooger is relieved to learn that Hack's thousand dollar reward more than covered the damages to the cab!

Licenced hacks are the best hacks in Crack Comics #60 (1949). The writer is unknown, the art is by Alice Kirkpatrick

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Good heavens, why not? Now go vote!!

Friday Night Fights--Don't Make Hack O'Hara Angry, You Wouldn't Like Him WHen He's Angry Style!!

There are few people more good-natured and friendly than Hack O'Hara, The Cabbie With A Conscience.

But man, oh man, do not try to chisel him out of a fare! We learn that lesson the hard way in this week's Friday Night Fights!

A gang of jewel thieves is trying to keep Hack away from his usual cab stand, so they can park their getaway car there for the big job.

Brilliant plan...but then they have to go and get cheap...

Well, that's not where it ends, as Hack chases down the gangsters like a newspaper delivery boy chasing down John Cusack for his $2:

Yes, now it's war!!

Let's see a Uber driver do that!!

Spacebooger would like to mention that the crooks were pretty stupid, because if they just paid the $2.85, they'd have gotten away with the heist!! Cheapness never pays!!

The rage of a stiffed cabbie comes from Crack Comics #40 (1945), by Vernon Henkel

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Look, you don't want to make Hack O'Hara mad again, do you? Do you? So go and vote!!

Every Hero Needs A Motto!

You may recall Golden Age hero Hack O'Hara, the crime solving cab driver.

Man, the Golden Age was great--any old profession could have it's own strip or series!!

There was one reason that Hack was so successful: he had a great motto!

Ah, "The Cabbie With A Conscience!"

It still wouldn't keep him from losing his job when Uber moved into to town. Still, great motto...

From Crack Comics #45 (1946)

Manic-Monday--How Warren Buffet Became A Millionaire

In the opinion of 1940s comic book taxi drivers, there's one very clear distinction between millionaires and evil employees posing as millionaires. And you wouldn't doubt the word of Hack O'Hara, long-running star of his own feature in Crack Comics, would you?

We start as Burke, the evil personal secretary of kindly millionaire Andrew Crane, has launched his own get-rich-quick scheme:

Yup, he forced his boss to sign withdrawal slips, and then disguised himself as his boss, so he can go to the bank and get oodles of cash.

Plot flaw number 1: maybe, just maybe, when engaging in such a nefarious scheme, one shouldn't take a cab to the scene of the crime...

But it works!! Hack O'Hara is fooled by the brilliant disguise, and this initial foray into banking fraud nets Burke a cool 20 grand in cash (not a tiny amount back in 1949!). So nothing now stands in the way of his ultimate goal--to empty all of Crane's accounts and run to "South America."

So what, then, gives Burke's evil scheme away?

That's right...he over-tips. And Hack knows that the millionaire could never have meant to tip that much, because:

Hack, the noble cabbie with a conscience, actually goes to return his $20 windfall...

While there, he overhears the villains plotting, thwarts them and frees Mr. Crane. So all that's left is to reiterate Hack O'Hara's theory on the rich:

Lesson: if you're wealthy, be stingy with the tips. It will save your life (and fortune!!)

Ironically, we're never told what reward--if any--the kindly millionaire gives Hack for saving his bacon. It'd better not be more than a dollar, or Hack might start punching him!

MOST MISLEADING SPLASH PANEL EVER:


Hack O'Hara shows why the discussion about tipping in Reservoir Dogs has immense practical value for crime-busting cabbies in Crack Comics #61 (1949).