Barry Allen's Weight Loss Plan!

Grodd has abandoned his gorilla body, and possessed the body of a boring old human.

But he still has mad science skills!

The result?

Jeez, he's almost as big as I am!!

At least Fat Barry is a cautionary tale for other Central City residents!

And fortunately for Barry, Central City's favorite snack is...

...dehydrated potatoes??!?!

When Barry Allen sits around the dehydrating room, he really...oh, you know the punchline.

Maybe it's just the modern re-coloring, but man, it sure looks the Flash is sweating butter!

Still, it works (!!), and de-monkeyfied Grodd lasts about one micro-second.

And Barry seems to feel he can now eat as much as he wants, as long as the dehydrated potato plant is in town!

From Flash #115 (1960)

Grodd Ain 't So Tough!

It's always interesting seeing how villains evolve over the years, often going from afterthought one-shots to the biggest bad-asses conceivable.

Take, for example, Grodd.

Yes, the very name conjures terror and angst in all DC fans. He's a Big Bad.

But in his first appearance? Not so much.

Grodd has just stolen the "force of mind power" from Solivar, and now he can bend other to his will!!

Remember--when Obi-Wan uses "force of mind," it's good--when Grodd or Killgrave use it, it's bad!!

Anyway, Flash and Grodd haven't met yet...but Solivar has just recruited Barry to take down Grodd before he can conquer the world.

And the first meeting between these titans? Their terrible struggle?

Done in 6 panels. The Flash just spins Grodd around really fast. Game over.

No, seriously, spinning him around fast was enough to completely defeat the evil ape!

Well...that was easy.

As I said...interesting. Grodd was a throwaway villain easily disposed of in the back-up story. Somewhere along the line, though, he became the final-panel-reveal-OMG-Flash-is-in-for-the-battle-of-his-life villain.

So, evildoers, don't give up. Perservere, and you, too, can make the Grodd leap from  disposable chaff to world-threatening figure!!

From Flash #106 (1959)

How Big A Rube Town Is Central City?

Actor Fred Pearson is having a bad day...

No, that call isn't to his agent, wondering why he can't get a better gig than walking around in a monkey suit.

Well, it turn's out that Fred's problems are all caused by Grodd (this story was Grodd's debut!). The gorilla creep has been messing with Pearson's mind, and taking his place on stage:

Now, it's hard to review a show from just one panel...but I will anyway! This looks like the "show" is just a guy walking around the stage in a gorilla costume!

That's not so bad, is it? Well...

This show has been held over for 3 years in Central City!! THREE. YEARS. And it's still selling out as Centralians flock to see...a man dressed in a gorilla suit cavorting about the stage. Did they not have TV yet? No interesting movies to go see? No touring companies of real shows coming to Central City? No movies?

So, basically, Central City-ites are a couple of notches below Springfield in their love of legitimate the-ater...

From Flash #106 (1959)

Friday Night Fight--Threesome Style!!

So, Stars And Garters thinks he can steal my "man-on-animal action" shtick with a gorilla fight last week, eh?

All right then. Game on, Friday Night Fights style!

Grodd has just been executed--disintegrated!--but a compatriot of his has been putting various Flashes through their paces, setting them up against crazy menaces whilst siphoning a wee bit of their super-speed.

Which is enough, you see, to lead to this:

No problem, right? Three Flashes can take down the Groddster, right?

OMG, Grodd with force-of-mind powers AND super-speed? Something tells me this isn't going to go too well...

D'oh!!

D'oh again!!!!

And now, my favorite panels of all time...

D'oh to the third!!

Ah, but the game is not yet over...

Prepare for the fangasm...

OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hells yes!!!

Spacebooger would like to remind you that Jay is younger and dumber and in a different dimension, and Wally doesn't exist, so good luck ever seeing anything this cool in the nu52.

Fangasm provided by Cary Bates, Alex Saviuk and Joe Giella in Flash Spectacular (a.k.a. DC Specials Series #11) (1978)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Three Flashes merging their atoms together--who's gonna beat that? So go vote!!

Manic Flash Day #5--The Lyingest Panel Of All Time

Apparently...

...Solovar's guarantees aren't worth much.

Never trust a monkey.

From Flash Spectacular (a.k.a. DC Special Series #11) (1978)

Manic Flash Day #4--The Difference One Little Letter Can Make

We comic fans all know Johnny Quick's magic formula by heart, right?

Never mind the snarky questions over how to pronounce it, or how inscriptions found in a Pharaoh's tomb give you super speed (or for that matter, how inscriptions in that tomb contained numbers and letters that culture didn't have...shhh!)

Nope, just suspend your stinkin' disbelief a bit, because we all know, when Johnny says the magic formula, he gets speed.

Ah, but what happens when he says the formula wrong?!?

A mysterious explosion has sent a "water meteor" plummeting towards Keystone, so Johnny Quick decides to go help out Jay Garrick. Except...

Hey, where's that X come from?

Monkeys with invisible beams? Sinister.

And the results of that little tiny alteration to the formula?

Wha...?

Yup, the X turned him evil!!

Johny's comedy sidekick pal Tubby Watts let's him know that he said the formula incorrectly...

Well, Johnny goes to Jay (who has just gone public with his secret identity) to apologize. But...

Again?

Just so we're clear, that guy's working for Grodd. And Grodd has developed an invisible beam that makes you add an X to your magic formula. An oddly specific weapon, but cool.

Anyway...

Don't worry...Jay saves her, Grodd accomplishes his goal of siphoning off some of Jay's super-speed (don't ask) and so Johnny doesn't have to worry about the evil ray anymore, and they all live happily ever after.

You have to wonder, though...Could that ray be used on anyone? Could Billy Batson be made to say SHAZAMX and be evil? What if instead of an X, you added a Q to Johnny Quick's formula? Or an Ñ or a Я or a Ω?

Questions like these are why I'm not allowed to write comics...

From Flash Spectacular (a.k.a. DC Special Series #11) (1978)