Definitive Proof That Gambit Is More Powerful Than Superman!!

It's a long story, but Professor X has gone bad and taken over the Shi'ar Empire, mentally controlling Gladiator and many others.

Ah, but Gambit is free...

See!! Gladiator can be mentally controlled...but Gambit can't, because his thoughts are "like quicksilver!" Proof that Gambit is smarter than Gladiator!!

NOTE: That isn't really Charles Xavier, it's the "War-Skrull," who using the "Matrix device" to absorb his powers as well as mimic his appearance. So maybe the imposter just wasn't experienced enough to control Gambit. Still, he was powerful enough to telepathically control Lilandra & Gladiator and the Starjammers...

Anyway, next issue, it's time for the physical confrontation!

And that's enough to knock out Gladiator for the rest of the story.

So, Gambit is smarter AND more powerful than Gladiator. And since Gladiator is a Superman analogue, than ipso facto, Gambit is smarter and more powerful than Kal-El. That's just science, kids.

I bet now you're really looking forward to the Gambit movie. Right? Right...?

From Uncanny X-Men #276 & 277 (1991)

Friday Night Fights--WOW-Style!

It's called Friday Night Fights, not Friday Night Tough Negotiations.

And this week MC Spacebooger has declared that the winning fight will feature "a crazy powerful punch resulting in a KO!"

 Done and done!

Just a normal New York City day, when Gladiator comes to town. He's all confused and woozy, thanks to Skrull trickeration, and he fact he thinks that every super-hero he sees is a Skrull.

Enter Benjamin J. Grimm:

Yeah, that'll do it.

Spacebooger has a list of characters for Gladiator to pummel, when he gets the chance.

Big time punchy from Fantastic Four #249 (1982), by John Byrne

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Because it's been a really, really terrible weak, and I could use a win, no matter how small and meaningless. So go and vote!

Friday Night Fights--Strawman Style!!

Ever since John Byrne had Reed Richards beat Gladiator with just the power of his mind in Fantastic Four #250 (1983), everyone--and I mean everyone--has used the leader of the Imperial Guard as a straw man to show how tough their preferred character was. "Look, my guy may not look like much, but he can beat up the Superman-analogue!! He's really cool!"

Which brings us to this week's Friday Night Fights, as we get to witness Gladiator beaten by...Cannonball.

No, really.

We start with Gladiator busting into a store, looking for X-Men...

BWHAM!!!

If you insist on a pseudo-scientific explanation of how Sam Guthrie could have accomplished this...

Uhhh...OK.

BONUS HYPOCRISY:

Gladiator was looking for the X-Men because he needed them to go fight some war for the Shi'ar...

So, "To send a youth into such danger would lack honor." But 5 minutes ago? "That was my most powerful blow...and you live?" Sending a youth into dangerous war = immoral; killing him yourself in pointless combat = OK. Sigh...

Spacebooger expects Gladiator to be manhandled by Squirrel Girl, Ms. Marvel and Deadpool in the near future.

Our exceptionally silly (and hypocritical) battle was brought to by Scott Lobdell (that explains it), Joe Madureira and and Tim Townsend in Uncanny X-Men #341 (1997)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Bribe me with your votes, and I can write a story where you, too can beat up Gladiator!! So go and vote!!

11 Reasons Fantastic Four #250 Rocks Pretty Hard

Yesterday we took our Friday Night Fight from Fantastic Four #250 (1983), and I was reminded why this was one of my favorite comic books ever. To wit:

#1--Spidey finding mysterious "blue tubing" strewn across NY rooftops:

#2--John Byrne taking time for homages:

#3--Something for the ladies:

#4--Skrull-Storm kicking Gladiator's butt--painfully:


#5--Skrull-Nightcrawler kicking Spider-Man's butt...

#6--...until:



#7--Skrull-Storm and Skrull-Angel kicking Gladiator's butt some more:

#8--Skrull Angel kicking Johnny Storm's butt:

#9--Benjamin J. Grimm putting a stop to Skrull-Colossus:


#10--The Human Torch putting a stop to Skrull-Storm and Skrull-Angel:



#11--The punchline:
They don't make anniversary issues like this anymore...