Friday Night Filosophy--Tell Us How You Really Feel, Joe

Well, no Friday Night Fights this week, so what am I going to fill the space with?

Oh, I know! Just to prove that I was not the original crank, here's (portions) of a little screed from Joe Brancatelli in his monthly comic column for Warren, this one from Eerie #88 (1977). And he's really, really REALLY cheesed of about...well, about this:

Yes, a KISS comic was the forerunner of the end of human civilization!!

...

...

Man, and I thought I needed the occasional chill pill.

It's a good thing he wasn't still writing about comics when this came out...

Lick It Up, Riverdale!!

So, a nifty little paperback chock full of Archie stories has come out recently:

Not quite full trade size, but bigger than a digest, there's 400 pages of classic Archies from the past 70 years, for only $9.99. Click here to snag it on Amazon.

But the real point of this post? Well, when you want to sell a book, you've gotta have blurbs. Even Steven King's gotta have blurbs.

So whom do the Archie folks get? Well, they get a quote from Stan, which is both inevitable and appropriate.

But they need one more endorsement! Whom can they get who will sell Archie books?

Scanned right from the back cover:

Really? Gene Simmons?? His quote is the one that's going to help you sell copies of Archie??

Reminder: Gene Simmons is the man who put out this...

...and you wanted his seal of approval on Archie Andrews??? And you thought it would increase sales?

It is indeed a strange world...

This One Is For The Ladies

As a public service announcement, I present to you a portion of an interview Gene Simmons, founding member of KISS, had today in the Washington Post (musta been a slow news day...).

The interview deals largely with Simmons' love of comics books, and Superman specifically. The interviewer is asking what Simmons' wife, Shannon Tweed, thinks of Superman:

Q:I'm wondering what she thinks of Superman.
A:Oh, women don't have a clue. They never did. It's biological. Our aspiration to be heroes, to physical greatness and ruling the world is something totally foreign to them.

So there you have it ladies: you're not cut out for this superhero stuff. And if you don't appreciate things like this...

...well, it's all biological. Let us men aspire to rule the world while you go blog about Little Lulu or something.

Gene Simmons, whose deep understanding of women's "biology" include authoring the songs Burn Bitch Burn, Love 'Em and Leave 'Em, Christine Sixteen, and Plaster Caster. Gene Simmons, who is so radical he let A& freakin' E do a reality show about his life. You go, Gene, you outlaw, you.

Full text on Simmons' enlightenment can be read here.

Monstrobot's previous encounter with Simmons' comic books can be found here.

What the #$%^?--Gene Simmons' Dominatrix

Memo to Gene Simmons:

I know that you are a rock god. I acknowledge your awesomeness in that realm.

But in the publishing world. it's generally considered bad form to write your own cover blurbs.

Seriously, couldn't you find anybody else to quote? Anyone at all?

One further thought: couldn't you have come up with a more imaginative name? I mean, we can see she's a dominatrix, all right...but that makes the comic's title just a job description...like if you had named your group "Gimmicky Make-Up-Wearing Rock Band" instead of KISS.

One final thought: "Beth" is the biggest p#%%y-whipped song of all time. What a cop out. I'm just sayin'.