Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Widow Vs. Bull!

No particular reason for this...

...except that I wanted to share Gene Colan and Tom Palmer drawing the living hell out of the Black Widow kicking Man-Bull's ass.

You're welcome.

From Daredevil #95 (1973)

The Best Cover You've Never Seen--Detective Comics #512 (1982)!!

America's health care system summed up in a picture:

Fun facts:

A) This scene never occurs in the comic. Liars, liars, liars.

B) That's not "Dr. Death" kicking Batman with a sandaled foot. That's his servant, Togo. Death is piloting the chopper.

C) It was, indeed, a fatal prescription, as Death invented a "super-allergen" that only he had a cure for, infected everyone in Gotham, and tried to blackmail the city for one billion dollars.

D) Batman, of course, is "naturally immune" to the allergen. Because he's f%^&in' Batman. Robin? Not so lucky.

E) Batman, from the ground, took out the helicopter with a batarang. Because he's f%^&in' Batman.

The cover is by Gene Colan and Dick Giordano. Because they're Gene f%^&in' Colan and Dick F%^&in' Giordano.

Manic Monday Bonus--Colan's Captain Marvel!!

Just because no one ever talks about it, here is some of Gene Colan's work (with Vince Coletta inks) back in the early days of the Kree Captain Marvel.

The first hints of the Kree-Skrull war:

Yes, Roy wrote it. I think he'd come back to the idea...

Super-Skrull vs. motorcycle!

Invisible Super-Skrull vs. Mar-Vell...

Swooping down...

Mar-Vell vs. Namor...

Look, no one was going to ever make that green & white costume look good. But Gene still did a pretty sweet job...

From Captain Marvel #2-4 (1968).

Technically, the correct title for the first six issues of the book was Marvel's Space Born Superhero! Captain Marvel--yes, exclamation point and all--because who knows why. But there's no way I'm going to type Marvel's Space Born Superhero! Captain Marvel over and over again...

Super-Villain Smackdown--Doom Vs. MODOK!!

OK, earlier today I gave you a story that was all text.

I'll make that up to you with some gorgeous drawing--and the wonderful sight of two master villains doin' the dozens.

So, without further ado (and skipping the boring parts with Namor, because who cares about him even though this is his own book), here's Gene Colan drawing Victor Von Doom Vs. MODOK!

Well, I suppose it makes up for all the times you left opponents fighting Doombots while you slipped away, Victor...

From Sub-Mariner #49 (1972)

The Goofiest Cover You've Never Seen--The Phantom Zone #3 (1982)

Sometimes you've just got to say...

...WHAT THE FRAK?!?!?!?

I guess that's what happens when you let the Howard The Duck team do a pre-Crisis DC series.

Somehow, this never became one of those "iconic" covers that everyone does homages to...

Of course, all of the covers of this mini-series were pretty goofy:

And of course, this next should have taken the place of Crisis #7 in our collective imaginations...

Gerber, Colan, Phantom Zone tomfoolery...I guess I'd better go Quarter Bin searching soon...

Phantom Zone #1-4 are from 1982

Eight Observations About Daredevil #62 (1970)!

#1--Nighthawk should really go back to the original costume.

Seriously, I like this one so much better than the boringly generic one he started wearing with the Defenders...Am I the only one?

#2--Gene Fucking Colan.

Gene Colan should be far more celebrated than he is. Statues should be erected in his honor.

Gene. Fucking. Colan.

#3--That plan never works!!

See, Nighthawk is pretending to be a good guy here...

And of course fickle New Yorkers are completely wowed over by the new guy.

His real plan?

Yes, Batman Returns completely ripped off this plot. (Of course, Roy Thomas undoubtedly ripped it off from some other comic...)

Still, who would ever believe that a rat could turn popular acclaim into political power?

Sigh...

So Nighthawk continues building his reputation...

...and the White House is only a few busted head away!!

But wait--did I mention Batman Returns completely ripped off this issue? Yup, even down to the "hero uses surreptitiously recorded megalomaniacal dissing of the public to convince public that they were wrong" gambit:

And thus ends the master plan of The Penguin Nighthawk!!

#4--Matt Murdock, practicing biochemist!!

Earlier Nighthawk had knocked DD out of action with a "dizziness serum." Next time?

Wait--what? How? Did you have a double major in law and biochemistry?!?

I think we all know that "I developed an antidote" means "I stopped by the Baxter Building on my way over..."

#5--Daredevil, master of disguise!!

When Nighthawk captures a jewel thief...

He's really...

OK, how does that even work?!? I mean...

#6--Where does he get all of those wonderful toys?

I have no idea what the hell this car even is...

...but man, do I want one!

#7--He even looks like Jeff Goldblum!!

Well, I see it...

#8--Did I mention Gene Fucking Colan?

Well, he's worth mentioning again!! And again. And again...

Tales From The Quarter Bin--The True Origin Of Modern Art!!

It's 1962, and Joshua Carstairs is the hottest thing on the modern art scene!!

Some people are a teensy bit jealous, though...

Ah, but why rely on talent, when you can rely on...CRIME!!!

Fortunately, our jerk overhears a telling conversation:

Well, when he breaks into the home, and forces the locked door...

Oh, tragic irony!!

The pencils and inks in this story, by the way, are Gene Colan, who rocked even then.

"Hey, my kid could draw that!" is from Strange Tales #97 (1962), as reprinted in Weird Wonder Tales #21 (1977). I deliberately cut out the parts in the '77 reprint where the art was altered to work in Dr. Druid, because Marvel was trying to make Dr. Druid happen back then. You're welcome.