Galactus Hungers...For Cash!!

Apparently, being a word-devouring cosmic entity is better than you'd expect for merchandising:

Take that, C'Thulu!!

And just who on Earth gets the benefit of all this Galactus money?

Well, if you believe Henry Peter Gyrich, it's...

...the Fantastic Four!

Silly, but it's entirely worth it to see Ben rolling around like Uncle Scrooge in his money bin...

From The Marvels Channel: Monsters, Myths and Marvels #3 (2008)

Ragnarok Was Chopped Liver!!

Given all the attention that Thor's getting right now, it might be nice to see how old Goldilocks views the Marvel cosmic hierarchy:

You can click to embiggen the Ron Lim goodness, but I blew up the individual parts for you.

How ya doin', Thor?

Oops, cut off Loki there. Sorry, Matt Damon!!

How about the bigger guns?

You know this next guy is my favorite:

 MANGOG!!!!

You might remember this guy...

This next guy (maybe) answers the eternal question, could Odin create a weapon so powerful it could destroy him?

Oh, yeah, and there's this guy:

Much better than a "cosmic cloud creature." Sheesh, movie makers, how stupid are you??

Ah, yes, let's not forget the the Beyonder has gone trough at least two massively stupid retcons. At first, he was the sentient embodiment of an entire other universe. Then, they decided that he was a not yet complete Cosmic Cube. Then, Bendis and Reed decided that he wasn't even that--he was just a mutant Inhuman. No wonder Thor has no respect for him...Next? The Beyonder was just a schmo with a magic wishing penny...

Not just Celestials, but "higher level" Celestials!!

This guy really should have been in the Doctor Strange movie, to blow our puny minds.

The Living Tribunal!! Don't mess with him!!

Over/under on how many of these guys will turn up in Avengers: Infinity War?

BTW, you'll note that Thor managed to do all that without any damned Asgardian font.

From Thor Annual #14 (1989)

Friday Night Fights--KA-ZARRQ Style!!

Man, I hate Norrin Radd.

So, in this Friday Night Fights, let's watch the whiny little bastard beg Galactus to take away his comic powers, because broody boy just wants to be a normal mortal again, and promises never, ever to complain again:

The boss says, "No."

Well, I guess it's time for a fight!!

Ah, poor Silver Surfer!!

Spacebooger thinks the last page should be accompanied by the "sad David Banner walking away from town music":

Surfer gets slapped down in Silver Surfer #102 (1995), by Ron Marz & Mike Friedman (plot), Mike Lackey (script), Tom Grindberg (art) and Bill Anderson (inker)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Look, do you want Galactus mad at you?!? Than go vote!!

Not The JSA, The LES!!

Hmm, I haven't written about the Fantastic Four all week, have I? Let's remedy that!

It's one of those "all the alternate realities are merging together" kind of crises. How alternate?

Sigh...

Anyway, now the "Earth's Greatest Heroes" aren't the Avengers, they're the...

Woo hoo!! 

Actually, that's a pretty cool team (except for Dr. Druid. Can't get away from that ass anywhere!).

So that's the Fantastic Four--rockin' alternate worlds for the safety of the universe!! Bring 'em back, Marvel!!

Bonus: this issue feature the dead head of an alternate Galactus!

Happy Friday!!

From Fantastic Four Annual 2001 (2001)

Stop Whining, snell

What my digestive tract is kinda felling like these past couple of weeks:

Yeah, yeah, get over yourself.

From Fantastic Four #175 (1976)

And Then There Was That Time Galactus Ate Krypton...!

A mild-mannered reporter with amazing powers has shown up at the Daily Bugle, and asked Spider-Man to tutor him in the ways of being a super-hero.

But Pete's a bit suspicious, and has Reed investigate "Virtue's" origin...

Well, no wonder nobody trusts Kal-El these days...I guss we'd better take all the extra-terrestrial infants sent to Earth and drown 'em or something...

From Marvel Knights Spider-Man #16 (2005)

Cosmic Skyping!

You ever wonder how these cosmic entities meet and greet each other?

Galactus is just chillin', waiting on Eternity...

Click to embiggen that...Galactus says "Whatsup, Eterni-dog?" and Eternity is all like "Hows it hangin' Holmes?"

Well, after a few pages of mind-blowing cosmic exposition, the best buds part...

Yeah, that just happened. So how was your morning?

That was Marshall Rogers and Joe Rubenstein on art by the way. If you prefer, here's Walt Simonson's (cover) version of the confab:

Straight trippin'.

Manic Monday Bonus--It's Important To Have Variety In Your Diet!

Galactus doesn't eat only planets, you know.

The Elders Of The Universe just tried to destroy Galactus, because dumbasses. But they failed. And now it's time to pay the piper:

Man, he went through them like I go through the dollar menu at Taco Bell...

But there is a downside...

Hmmm...maybe you don't want to use the bathroom after Galactus that day...

From Silver Surfer #10 (1988)

Friday Night Fights--Who Watches The Watcher Die Style!

Yeah, yeah, Original Sin, Watcher dying...been there, done that.

Because for this week's Friday Night Fight, we're going to see a Watcher die.

Yes, Uatu. No, not our Uatu...an alternate universe's Uatu.

You see, in this reality, Reed, Ben ,Sue & Johnny all died when their rocket crashed...oops. Which means that when Galactus came a callin', there was no Fantastic Four to stop them. Which means that the Watcher had to turn to the Avengers. Which means that Alicia Masters wasn't around to sway the Silver Surfer's sympathies. And Iron Man failed miserably when Uatu sent him to fetch the Ultimate Nullifier.

Which basically means this Earth is frakked. And after dealing with the rest of the annoying Avengers, Galactus is about to squish Hercules:

Well, with no pawns left to bail out the Earth, guess who has to take action himself?

BURP....

Spacebooger can't believe he ate the whole thing...

Titanic tale of an alternate timeline is from What If #41 (1992), as told by Jim Valentino (story/layouts) and Sam de la Rosa (finished art)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because it's difficult to fathom a bigger fight than a Galactus/Watcher tussle! So go and vote!!