Spoiler Sunday--What Are Teachers Teaching The Children In Marvel-616?

[MINOR SPOILERS FOR NOVA #15]

A bit of background--Karl Moffet is a it of as bully towards Sam Alexander, our current Nova. But Karl just recently had a frightening close encounter with Beta Ray Bill, even though no one believes him.

So:

Now wait just one darn tootin' minute!!

Sam, of course, is just trying to torment his tormentor--he's well aware of many, many aliens out there.

But what about the teacher?

Let's be clear that this is Marvel-616, which in recent months has seen:

**The Hulk lead a force of alien warriors to Earth, publicly devastating Manhattan.

**A full-fledged alien invasion by Skrulls, who broadcast messages to the all people of Earth. And the entire world saw Norman Osborn shoot an alien queen in the head, which led to him becoming crazy popular and being put in charge of H.A.M.M.E.R.

**Asgard floating over Oklahoma, and an invasion of surly ur-Asgardians, again kicking the crap out of the entire planet. (Sure, they may or may not be technically aliens--but the question is what do the citizens of Earth consider them? Do they believe that they're actual gods?!?)

**Thanos and his minions taking over the planet whilst the Avengers were away.

All of these were massively covered by the media, and all had to have had some fairly major repercussions--economically, socially--on the whole country, if not the world.

Now, the tiny town of Carefree, Arizona was probably not directly impacted by too much of this. But then again, they weren't at ground zero for 9/11 or the moonwalk, either.

So, when this unnamed "science" teacher to say that there "may" be life out there, that there are "no signs" of regular visits, and to agree with Sam that it's all just media fiction...Really? Is this the guy we want teaching science to our kids? Because, well, that's shockingly ignorant, isn't it?

Or has the government done such a wonderful job of covering everything up, of running disinformation campaigns to hide the truth, that this is a mainstream opinion amongst the normal denizens of the Marvel Universe? "Oh, those New Yorkers, they exaggerate everything!" "Oh, it's just the administration trying to distract us from the economy?"

Then again, the people loved Osborn after Secret Invasion--that was a major plot point, that's why the president gave him the job. And Asgard is just hanging there, for everyone to see...

So, Marvel citizens? Dupes or dopes? Or is this teacher just some outlier...?

Manic Catch-Up Monday--What I Missed Last Week Part 2!

We had two strong contenders for Comic Book Quote Of The Week last week.

First up, from Fail Itself: The Failless #3:

Hey, don't look at me, Valkyrie--I didn't plot the damned comic book you're in. Take it up with Matt Fraction, Christopher Yost and Cullen Bunn. (Of course, Bunn did the script, so maybe this is his way of critiquing the plot that Fraction handed him. Too bad it's Manic Monday and not Self-Awareness Saturday!)

Next up: Lex Luthor wannabe Simon Tycho in Supergirl #3:

Wow. Not only a brilliant quote in its own right, but how can it help but put you in mind of this (just sing "Brain" whenever he says "Clown"):



So who wins? You decide!! Vote in the comments!! Or not. Whatever.

Self-Awareness Saturday--Journey Into Mystery #630

I unreservedly acknowledge that this is probably just me and my warped perceptions...but it sure seems that, in this scene in this week's Journey Into Mystery #630...

...that maybe, just maybe, Kieron Gillen might be making a wee bit of a veiled comment on the lameness of the Big Bad in Fear Itself, and the way he was pretty much unnamed, unexplained, and uncharacterized throughout the series.

I'm just sayin'.

The 1%

Right after Avengers Dissembled, in Avengers Finale, Tony Stark declares that they can't rebuild the Avengers, because he's broke.

In New Avengers #3 (2005), Stark re-iterates that point to Cap:

6 years later, in this week's Avengers #18, in the wake of the Avengers Tower being destroyed along with much of New York City:


Bendis, you've officially lapped yourself.

Now, if this were anybody but Bendis, I would note that this doesn't gibe at all with what's been going on in Iron Man's own book. Stark Resilient has been a success; Tony Stark has contracts galore coming in, and is rolling in enough dough to design new trillion dollar armors for himself and Pepper Potts and Rhodey, etc. And wasn't Avengers Tower, you know, insured? Qualify for federal disaster funds?

But of course, Bendis is notorious for not caring what's going on in the home books of the characters that he's using in Avengers.

Still, one has to ask: what's the point of having a billionaire on your team if you're constantly going to pull out the "I'm broke" card?

Of course, given that we're already recycling the Norman Osborn and H.A.M.M.E.R. and Dark Avengers storylines, I guess it's no surprise that he has needed to trot out the "feel sorry for Tony because he's broke" ploy again.

Not that I'm saying Bendis has run out of ideas, but don't be surprised if we have a massive jailbreak, a trip to the Savage Land, and the return of The Sentry in the near future of Avengers...

Spoiler Sunday--Fail Itself #5

OK, I'm going to spoil the living hell out of Fear Itself #5 (Don't fret--the issue really, really deserves to be spoiled).

So, if you haven't read it yet, just go away and come back tomorrow.

SPOILERS commence after the 3 pictures regarding the completely unrelated short-lived NBC show Fear Itself...



OK, so things haven't been going terribly well for our heroes in this issue. Their butts have been kicked, New York City is in ruins. So, it being the Heroic Age and all, what do Marvel's greatest heroes do?




Marvel's greatest heroes quit.

Yup, in the summer of the Captain America movie, wherein we learn that Captain America doesn't freakin' give up in the face of overwhelming odds, Matt Fraction...has Captain America give up. And Spider-Man, too.

Look, I'll grant you that the premise of the series is overwhelming fear. I get it. And maybe you can argue that Steve Rogers, the greatest soldier ever, is so afeared that he's given in to despair.

I don't buy it...especially after Bucky has been killed, especially as the Red Skull's daughter is a big player. I simply don't see Cap throwing in the towel and conceding defeat here.

But, even if you do buy that motivation, we're not that far past a previous Marvel Event, Civil War...in which Cap gave up. So this just smells of cheap re-run.

It seems that a lot of folks at Marvel just think that Captain America is the surrendering type. And keep going to that well for cheap melodrama.

Matt Fraction, you are officially barred from ever writing Captain America's book(s).

And of course, Spider-Man theoretically overcame his fears in the Spider-Man: Fear Itself mini. So, again, backtracking for the purpose of padding.

Meanwhile, let's go check out the great deus ex machina of this issue...or, rather, deus ex parvulus.

Ben Grimm was possessed by one of the bad guy's "children" and has been going on a rampage through New York. Thor put his hammer straight through him, just by calling it to come to him...he doesn't even have to swing it! (Of course, that raises the question of why Thor doesn't just jet around the globe and do this to all the other supposedly unstoppable Worthy. Shhh, don't ask that...)

So, the Thing is gonna die, right?





Really.

Again, this risible plot device brings up all sorts of questions. Why didn't Franklin do this when his Uncle Johnny was dying? Why doesn't Franklin heal all the rest of the injured and dying in New York...and Paris...and Canada...and...Why doesn't Franklin stop all the Worthy, and the Serpent, right now??

Oh, I'm sure some ridiculous explanation will be trotted out that Franklin "exhausted his power" by healing Ben, or the Serpent, having seen this, has set up "magic wards" or some such against him.

But that just makes it even worse storytelling, doesn't it? You "kill" Ben, only to pull a magic get out of jail free card out of your butt, and then go through contortions not to have it render your entire story irrelevant.

So, Matt Fraction, you're now disqualified from ever writing the Fantastic Four.

When I think about the flaws of Fear Itself, aside from the mischaracterizations above, and the shamelessly cheap plot device above, I struck about how ineffectual the villains are. For a story like this, you need big, larger than life villains, someone you can get worked up about.

Yet 5/7ths of the way in, our main villain still hasn't got a real name; we have no idea of his true origins or motivations (and Odin says that what we've been told so far is a lie); and he doesn't have a single speck of personality. I defy you to tell me a single thing about the character.

Ditto for his children, the Worthy. Not a single trace of characterization or personality (granted, a couple of the minis have done a bit more with this...but the main series? Nada.) Speaking in runes, walking about nothing like the people they've possessed, yet without a single personality trait of their own...there could be literally anybody holding those hammers. They might as well be 1950s Atlas monsters. Why the effort to pick these particular people, if you're not going to do ANYTHING with them except have them walk around smashing things?

That's a common failing of many recent events--terrible excuses for master villains. Blackest Night suffered greatly from Nekron being nothing more than a colorless (sorry) plot device, without a bit of memorable dialogue or personality. The pull-him-out-of-a-hat-real-behind-the-scenes bad guy in Final Crisis--Mandrakk, the Dark Monitor--was kind of a sad joke. In Brightest Day, the Big Bad turned out to be...a possessed former body of Swamp Thing, without a single line of dialogue, who just turns up out of nowhere at the very end. It's pretty sad, really, when Norman Osborn and the Sentry have been the best villains in any major events lately.

So why the hell can't writers come up with good villains anymore??

An Important Caveat

You know, DC dropping the whole bombshell on us yesterday was really unfortunate, for one reason:

Flashpoint, the event, is actually pretty good so far.

There, I said it.

I mean, this week should have been left for the fans to discuss Flashpoint #2, and the first batch of micro-series. To discuss how, even though the basic idea is derivative of Yesterday's Enterprise/Age Of Apocalypse/House Of M, it's been executed pretty well, with a good story, good reveals on the differences in this world, good mystery and intrigue. Based on the first batch of micros, those series are being used to fill in the gaps of this vastly different world and help paint the broad picture, and not just repeat the same old same old from the main event series (I'm looking at you, Blackest Night!).

I know it's early days yet, but so far I'd say this is the best DC event since, oh, I don't know, Invasion. And to my eyes, it's the best work that Geoff Johns has done in quite awhile. It's certainly better, as a series and as an event, than Marvel's Fear Itself (although I'll confess my opinion on that is probably too much influenced for my dislike of how Matt Fraction handles Thor, and especially Odin.).

But instead of discussing that, DC opened the can of worms a week and a half early, and instead of Flashpoint getting the proper recognition, everyone's focused on the Flushpoint revelations (And I'm even more guilty of that than most people, so mea culpa.)

I'm not sure why the PR dump couldn't have waited a week, until after there was some time for the public to appreciate the latest Flashpoint; instead they completely diverted attention from it. But then, that's DC all over, isn't it--in declaring a need to better market themselves, they completely botch the marketing of the best thing they've had in awhile.

So, while I'm still quite leery of the forthcoming Flushpoint world, and we can debate the wisdom (or lack thereof) of DC's Punt, let's not miss the actual story that's being told right now. It's purty good.

Apparently, Immigrants CAN Assimilate

Wait...what?!?

Uhhhh....I'm speechless?