The Fab 4, The Mod, And His Bird!

You all know how much I love faux rock bands in comic books. And I especially love them when the comic creators try oh so hard to get hip and cool.

It's 1967, and Dell is making their brief (and futile) attempt to capitalize on the super-hero market. Four teenage heroes, known as the Fab Four, are going to investigate some shenanigans at a rock concert:

Yes, it is Mr. Mod and his Bird!!

Well, that's an evil plan!

And so...

Yes, we all want Mod!!

Ginchy!

And lest you think that's not a real song...

It's by Bo Bylan, who no doubt is the voice of his generation.!

The song has the desired effect--even on our heroes:

And apparently, the "foreign ministers conference" is a conference of foreign ministers from 1893:

Indubitably!

SPOILER ALERT: The Fab Four break free of the spell and save the day. Mr. Mod and his Bird are captured. The conference of foreign ministers approved the Treaty Of The Durand Line. Their comic is promptly cancelled. Dell never tried the heady mix of trendy super-heroes and modern music again.

From Superheroes #4 (1967)

Manic Labor Day Bonus--Gotham's Dangling Conversation?!?

Y'all know my deep and abiding love for faux rock bands in comic books.

And then there's faux comic bands that play Gotham City...

And what's so special about Blister Twister?!?

A band that does only heavy metal versions of Simon and Garfunkel? That might be the most Gotham City thing ever.

And of course, being Gotham...

...a demented criminal mime attacks the show!

And the crowd goes wild!

Fortunately, you-know-who is on the scene...

...with Robin's help, he takes her out...

...and the crowd goes wild!!

But the show must go on!!

And Robin approves!

FACT: Max Alan Collins called titled this story "The Sound Of Silence." Me, I would have titled it "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Mime." Or maybe "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Crime."

Once again, you can see why I'm not allowed to write comic books.

From Batman #412 (1987)

Help Batman Play Name That Tune!!

Batman and Two-Face are in trouble!!

So new protege Duke rides in to help:

Say, what the hell is that music he's playing? Let's listen to some more:

Man, I'm not sure what the hell that is...I'm not even sure how you'd play

as a musical note...

Perhaps Duke can explain?

So, wait...A group of ex-Arkham inmates puts together a death-metal band that plays impossible notes and mocks Batman with their very name?!? That may be the most Gotham thing ever...

Of course, given the difficulty of superheroes trademarking their own names (as likely that would mean having to reveal their own identities, or having a stand-in do it for them, putting their lives in jeopardy), Bruce probably couldn't sue. Then again, maybe Bruce *did* trademark the bat symbol and the rest during Batman Incorporated...? And of course Booster Gold did, so...

This probably means that pretty much every DC city of punk/metal/folk bands based upon/mocking heroes, right?

"Batman's @^$&^"? Hrm...

From All-Star Batman #3 (2016)

Ride Of The Valkyries, Earth-65 Style?!?

We've already seen that Spider-Gwen's world, Earth-65, is a pretty rocking place.

It has the coolest version of Captain America EVER.

And it also has one of the best musical acts ever:

A punk band, all dressed as Valkyrie, singing songs about Asgard.

And I can't find them anywhere on Pandora. Damn, I wish I lived on Earth-65...

This is now my second favorite faux punk band:


From Spider-Gwen #9 (2016), and Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Sgt. Fury's Lonely Hearts Club Band?

Oh, Not Brand Echh, will you ever fail to entertain me?

Not today:

The also give you some glorious lyrics from the hypothetical album...

Since this is a 1969 comic book, I suppose we should be looking for "Dum Dum is dead" clues! (Remember, current Marvel dogma has it that Dum Dum Dugan died in 1966, and every single subsequent appearance was an LMD. Seriously, I'm not making that up. No, I'm not going to let go of that anytime soon.)

Oh, here's the promised "cast list" of everyone from the Sgt. Fury's Lonely Hearts Club Band cover:

From Not Brand Echh #12 (1969)

Herbie's Long And Winding Road!

Are you prepared to have your socks knocked off?

Because this morning, we present you with...

 Oh, man, Herbie and faux comic rock...this is like nirvana for me!!

You see, Herbie has been tailing a troublemaker...but he's gone to a Beetles concert!!

See, kids, back in the day the Beetles' Beatles' long hairstyle was known as "mop-tops." So Herbie took a mop and put in on his head!! Genius!

Where's the Grammy?!?

Herbie--more popular than the Beetles!!

From Herbie #5 (1964)

Spotify Is Really Weird In Latveria...

After kicking Loki's behind, Victor Von Doom is strolling in triumph through Castle Doom...

Wait, WHAT?!?

So, Doctor Doom has a whole hallway of jukeboxes, all belting out a version of The Beatles All You Need Is Love, but with "love" replaced by "Doom"?!?!?!?!?

That may be the single greatest thing that I have ever seen.

And given that Doom doubtless blocks iTunes and Amazon and Pandora et al., from operating in Latveria, these versions of the songs are probably the only ones that most Latverians have ever heard! There are probably passionate arguments in the street whether Doom's Red Album or Blue Album is the better collection!

And of course, Victor wouldn't limit himself just to one song. Oh, no...so we're off to the races:

Love Me Doom
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Doom
Please Please Doom
Latverian Wood
Hey Doom
Don't Let Doom Down
Rocket Raccoon (Hey, even Victor loves the little guy!)
While Reed Richards Gently Weeps
Back In Latveria
Being For The Benefit Of Doctor Doom!
The Continuing Story Of Victor Von Doom
Drive My Time Platform
Doom Is The Walrus
I Want To Rule Your Land
In Doom's Life
Victor In The Sky With Diamonds
Mean Mr. Fantastic
With A Little Help From My Minions
You Know Doom's Name (Look Up The Number)
Doom Tripper

All right, all right, I'll stop...you guys can have your chance now...

From Loki: Agent of Asgard #7 (2014)

Manic Canada Day Bonus--The Best Music Ever To Come Out Of Canada!

What, you were expecting Rush?

Shakespeare--Soul Of The 1970s!

Bunny's little sister, Honey, is about to get caught daydreaming in class...

Oops...

That me be a little bit of an over-reaction, Miss Crinchfield!

D'oh!!!

So, Honey does what any self-respecting teenager of the 70s would do--she goes to see their friends, the superstar band The Soular System!!

Brace yourself...

Observations:

A) This class really has nothing to do with Shakespeare, does it?

B) Miss Crinchfield is an easy A

C) Methinks this might be setting up a number of students to be mighty disappointed by Hamlet...

D) We really need a 2014 version, with, say, Bruno Mars coming in to sing about how "fly" Chaucer is...

From Bunny #20 (1971)