Friday Morning Freak-Out--You Had One Job, Drax!

Time to blow your mind, folks.

It's time for the first battle between Drax The Destroyer--created/resurrected specifically to defeat Thanos--and the Mad Titan himself!

SPOILER ALERT: It doesn't go well for Drax.

You had one job, Drax.

From Captain Marvel #28 (1973)

Back In The Days When Long-Distance Calls Were Something Special...

In his debut story, Drax The Destroyer is reaching out to Iron Man for a little bit of help:

Wait, from how far?

Drax, I hate to break this to you, but...that's not really that impressive.

I mean, we mere mortals can call or text or tweet or Skype or Instagram or whatever half a world away easy-peasy. Half a continent? Not really earth-shaking power, there.


I'm just sayin', if you're going to be a braggy god-created super-being, maybe be sure that your brag is overshadowed by the planet you're visiting...

From Iron Man #55 (1973)

Thanos--Cosmic Schlemiel!!

You know, at one point, Thanos had possession of a Cosmic Cube, used it to make himself a god...and still lost.

Now, he has the flipping Infinity Gems and accompanying Gauntlet, and he's showing off to Drax and the Silver Surfer how powerful he is now...

Yup, all powerful, all right. No way anyone that awesomecould ever lose.

And he lost again. 

Jim Starlin (and others) have continued to bring back Thanos again and again and again, seeking out more powerful weapons...more powerful than the gems which give you absolute control over time, space, soul, mind, power and reality? Sure, why not!! And he keeps losing.

Someday they'll realize that the continually raising the stakes from infinity to infinity plus infinity to infinity to the infinity power is just the same story over and over again, and it's always going to come out the same.

Because Thanos is a putz, and even with infinite power, he always loses.

Maybe he just needs to set his sights lower. Rule Pluto for awhile, see how that goes...

From Silver Surfer #44 (1990)

Friday Night Fights--Where Is Thanos Style!!

Let's get cosmic this time for Friday Night Fights.

Thanos has reared his ugly head, and the Silver Surfer has traveled to Titan to seek some advice from Mentor on how to deal with the guy.

But, if Thanos is alive, well, guess who else is going to be joining the party??

Now, in this incarnation, Drax The Destoyer is...well, single-minded is the way to describe it. Dumber than a bag of hammers is another way.

So arrogant jackass Norrin Radd and self-styled god Mentor basically ignore him and his request for the tiniest tidbit of information:

And again:

In fact, they keep acting as if he's not even there, some dumb animal they can ignore. Not a good idea.





Surfer, meet wall.

Even Spacebooger had to chortle as that whiney jerk the Surfer got his, for once.

Norrin was considerably less Radd in Silver Surfer #37 (1990), written by Jim Starlin, drawn by Ron Lim, inked by Tom Christopher.

Now go vote for whomever you believe to be the winner. Don't be shy...