Talking Nazi Dogs!!

So, I'm just rummaging around and come across this...

"The Talking Dog"?!? Yeah, that can't be true...

Well, then, I guess it must be. Tell me more, comic book!

1937? In Germany?!? Uhhh...you do realize that this makes him a Nazi talking dog, right?

So, how does Kurwenal communicate??

Not to be skeptical, but that's an awful lot of barks. And as it's in German, and knowing how long many German words are, that's got to be an unholy amount of barking!!

Well, duh. You hardly need a dog to talk to know that he likes cheese...

Nazi generals investigating talking dogs?!?

"Long conversations" consisting of one barking out one letter at a time? Even the simplest conversation would consist of hundreds, or thousands, of barks! The neighbors would call the cops!!

Look, the thing is, the story is true...at least, there was a dog (in fact, several dogs) that a lot of people thought could "talk"--indeed, there was a book published a couple of years back that claimed that the Nazi government, and Hitler himself, were pushing a research program to teach dogs to talk (and use telepathy!!) to function as spies, and Kurwenal and his owner may have been part of a government sponsored program!

Now, before we get too carried away, the author himself says there probably wasn't much actual "talking" going on.

Still...talking Nazi dogs!!!! We should have had those in an Indiana Jones movie...

From Unusual Tales #17 (1959)

Golden Age Idol--Captain Fu--Hey, Wait A Minute!!!

After a certain point, we here at Golden Age Idol tend to get a little jaded, a little bored, and it all starts to look the same.

Still, we owe it you, the reader, to muddle on, and find the best public domain characters waiting to be rescued from obscurity. So please allow me to fight through the ennui to present...CAPTAIN FUTURE!! (yawn!!)

We start with "meek" scientist Professor Andrew Bryant (who doesn't look anything like another mild-mannered secret identity we all know...).

But of course, Bryant has a secret. When he bathes himself in a mix of "alpha" and "gamma" rays:

Yawn...derivative identity, derivative costume...howzabout powers?

Well, he can fly, he's super strong (yawn...)

But despite being bulletproof, he's always vulnerable to a bump on the noggin:

Oh, yeah, and he can fire powerful "atomic bolts"...


And, since he's filled with "positive energy," he can be hooked up to Nazi death machines and be made into a weapon:


Well, that's all, I guess nothing special here...YAWN...

What? You want to see how Captain Future escapes? Why? (yawn)...Oh, all right, you're the boss...he manages to escape with the help of...

THE DOGS OF WAR!?!?!?!?!

Hello, I'm awake now!! What the hell?

OMG Nazi-fighting dog brigades!!! And the dogs have ranks!! OMG OMG OMG!!!

Somebody get me somebody on the phone right now!! We may have just discovered a gold mine here!! Let's get cracking and start working on THE DOGS OF WAR for a 2011 release...with variant covers...guest star appearances by other famous dogs...

And Captain Future...? To heck with you, sir, we've found the real stars!!

A Nazi-fighting troop of dogs. Goddamn, I love comic books.

From Startling Comics #34 (1945)