Why Aqualad Will Die Alone!

It's Emergency Letter Time at Teen Titan headquarters!

But not everyone is as focused on Emergency Letters as they should be!!

Oh, Garth...you are soooo smooth with the ladies!

No wonder Tula died rather than hang around with you...

(Emergency Letter time?!?)

From Teen Titans #5 (1966)

Manic Monday--Perhaps They Didn't Get The Memo

So, correct me if the company line has changed yet again, but DC Comics is renaming Captain Marvel as Shazam because "everyone already thinks that's his name," and they don't want to confuse new readers.

And yet...

And we've been told that Wally West had to go because Barry was more "iconic," and that having multiple Flashes around might be bewildering to the alleged new readers DC would be drawing in.

And yet...

And Donna Troy? Well, now, don't get us started. Too young for our new continuity, we can't seem to pay our writers enough to come up with an actual origin that sticks, and, once again, gotta make things clean and simple for those who might be checking into DC for the first time.

And yet...

And yet...

Two weeks ago, the Young Justice cartoon prominently featured Billy Batson, as Captain Marvel. No, not as SHAZAM (although he said SHAZAM an awful lot), He, and everybody else, referred to him as Captain Marvel.

DC Animated, it seems, is blithely unconcerned that their (presumably younger) audience will find the name confusing, or that they think he's called Shazam. Odd...

One week ago, Young Justice featured a Kid Flash solo story, starring Wally West. Yep, Wally.

DC Animated, it seems, doesn't think that the presence of Wally West takes anything away from the "main" Flash. Or that you need to completely wipe one out of the continuity in order to make the other work. Hmmm...

This weekend, the DC Nation shorts starred Donna Troy and, once again, Captain Marvel (and, once again, he was referred to as Captain Marvel).

DC Animated, it seems, is on a different page than DC Comics when it comes to how to deal with these characters.

DC Comics seems to believe that potential new readers (and remember, their coveted new demo is males 18-35) are dullards who can't comprehend the same comics stories we (and they) read whilst growing up. DC Animated, catering to a younger demo, trusts their viewers to be able to follow along, and indeed expects them to be interested enough to want more.

DC Comics wants to run away screaming from their back catalog. DC Animated respects DC's rich and glorious history, and even wallows in it.

DC Comics dodges questions, or gives coy non-answers, or insults the questioner, when asked about beloved character X. DC Animated respects the long-time fan, and seemingly isn't satisfied unless they're putting 5.3 references to fan favorites per episode (Rita Farr!!!)

It's as if DC's left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, as if they're two completely different companies.

Then again, given the long lag time in cartoon production, maybe DC Animated just hadn't received the memo yet...

Ask The Answer Manic Monday #6--Sad Prophecies Come True

From the Answer Man column in Action Comics #503 (1980):

Sigh...you've won, Eugene Tan. Damn you and your 32 year-old wishes!!

(Of course, if he wanted to get rid of the hero Kid Flash, and not just Wally West, well, you lose, Mr. Tan!!)

Meanwhile, from that same month's House Of Mystery #276:

Yes, better we should ask, "What's happened to Wonder Girl?" Or, more specifically, "what's happened to Donna Troy?"

Sigh...

Ask The Answer Manic Monday #8--Please Don't Bring Up That Topic

From the Ask The Answer Man column in Action Comics #490 (1978):

Well, that's question's just as relevant today, isn't it? Is there any chance of seeing Donna Troy again? Flushed away from the Titans, removed from the Justice League, surgically separated from Wonder Woman...if there is a place for her in the Flushpoint Universe, it hasn't been revealed yet. And maybe, for the sake of our sanity, we should just stop asking.

And yet the questions still come...from the Answer Man column in Claw The Unconquered #10 (1978):

Well, after Who Is Donna Troy, Who Is Donna Troy This Time, and Donna Troy, You Are Really Gumming Up Our Continuity Here, maybe the New 52 would be so kind as to give us Donna Troy, This Is The Last Time We Do This, And We Really Mean It This Time!

Friday Night Fights--Titan Style!!

Sometimes the best fights aren't with the villains, but with the members of your own super-team.

The sitch: Dick Grayson has left the Titans, all mopey because Starfire went and got married. (SPOILER ALERT: it didn't take). Donna Troy has been leading the Titans in his absence. She's come to visit Scruffy Dick, to convince him to come back.

Dick doesn't take too well to this, and starts to rip into Donna's leadership skills...

...and he keeps it up...

...and he won't lay off...

...and man oh man he pushes it too far...

...until she freakin' snaps!!

And through the bloody wall!!

Hey, wait a minute!! Dick looks in pretty good condition for just getting bitch-slapped by one of the strongest women in the universe:

Barely ruffled!! Is he Kryptonian? Nothing personal, Eduardo Barreto, but let's bring in the old pro to show us what the aftermath SHOULD have looked like:

Thank you, George Perez. Thank you.

He may have taken a week off, but Bahlactus till brings the pain!!

Intramural squabbling from New Teen Titans #19, 1986

Friday Night Fights--Wonder Girl Style!!

I can't believe I'm doing this...but, even the crappiest comic book series in DC history can have 1 good beat-down somewhere in 36 issues, can't it?

On Earth-51, "our" Donna Troy is fighting an evil Donna Troy from Earth-Who-Gives-A-Damn. And evil Donna loooooves to talk:

But you shouldn't be talking when you're fighting our Girl Wonder:

Bammmm!! And can we get a pithy action hero send off?

Thank you!!! That's what I call a knockout!!

Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? B-A-H-L-A-C-T-U-S. Hey, Bahlactus doesn't need to rhyme, bitch!

I apologize, and realize that I might lose my blogger credentials for actually liking 4 panels from Countdown #15. But trust me, the rest of it sucked. Hard. I'm not going soft. Really.

Bold Fashion Choices--Xmas Edition!

You know, if Donna Troy would wear this outfit a little more often...



...no one would be as concerned with those pesky continuity problems. I'm just sayin'.

Donna Troy plays the Ghost of Christmas Hot in Teen Titans #13, 1968, titled (and no, I'm not kidding) "A Swingin' Christmas Carol." Oh, Bob Haney...

Kontinuity Kop--Countdown #38

Oh, man, where to start with our violations this time?

There is a distinct difference, I think, between screwing with continuity to fix problems or for a reboot, and screwing with continuity because you're too damn lazy or cowardly to write your way out of a problem you've created yourself. This issue, I'm afraid, is the latter.

After 14 craptacular, repetitive, and boring back-up "stories," Countdown has finally gotten to actually explaining why having people cross-over to different universes is bad thing (to save you the pain of actually reading it, it seems every crossing over between Earths opens a breach in the Source Wall separating them, and enough breaches and the walls will collapse, and we'll have anarchy, and cats & dogs living together, and who knows what else). So, the obvious solution to 51 of our Monitors: kill everyone who travels between worlds. Yup. Me, I'd just work on plugging the breaches and preventing future travellers from breaching, but these Monitors are action Monitors, and believe that offing the odd Duela Dent will somehow stop other people from reality-hopping.

But the panel to the left is the topper in illogical mendacity. Let's ignore two of the three, except to mention that a) No, Donna Troy is not from another universe...it's just that DC's inability to stick with an origin for her has left her continuity best handled by only by those wearing bio-hazard suits; b) Jason Todd is not from another universe...sure he's back from the dead, but so is Hal Jordan (Please, please please let Hal Jordan be from another universe..). We saw Jason escape his own coffin, dammit! Seriously, what other world have we even seen a Jason Todd on?? But I digress...


Which leaves us with Kyle Rayner. Is he from another universe? Well, in Infinite Crisis (snore) Alex Luthor (hardly a reliable source, as he lied to everybody else in that series) had the first Crisis not occurred, Kyle would have been on Earth-8. But so what?? Half the JSA would have been on Earth-2. Why aren't they on Monitor's list? What about Power Girl--we know for a fact that she's a "unresolved holdover" from Earth-2. Why shouldn't she be eliminated? What about the Freedom Fighters?

Actually, there's one, and only one, reason why Kyle Rayner has been singled out, and not Power Girl et al. It's:

"We killed Hal Jordan and replaced him with Kyle, but we didn't have the cojones to keep Hal dead, so we brought him back, and now we don't have the least idea in the world what to do with him, so we'll call him an anomaly and have another Crisis as a convenient excuse to get rid of him/rebrand him. Oh, and that goes double for Donna Troy and Jason Todd."

It's lazy, hacktastic writing, disguised as "anomalies" and "continuity corrections." It shows no love or respect for the characters, their fans, or their earlier creative staffs. It's illogical on its face, and non-sensical if you think about it for 30 seconds. And the best part--it's not even a good or interesting story.