Manic Moday--Great Moments In Terrible Protest Signs!

MILD, MILD SPOILER for Daredevil Season 3:

Folks in the Marvel Netflix Universe are unhappy about the government making a deal with Wilson Fisk.

How unhappy?

Wait...what the what?!?!

Well, I mean, props on the calligraphy. And bonus props for the rhyme. Although most would spell it "Tsk-tsk."

But is that in any way an adequate expression of protest?!? Seriously--"tisk-tisk"?!?!?!?

I mean, that sign is the new screen saver on my phone, so don't get me wrong, I love it to pieces.

But it does make you wonder how outraged these people are. "Tisk-tisk" might be the mildest epithet from a New Yorker in 5 decades!!

But wait, that wasn't the only sign:

Well, forgive the blurriness. At least the sign win points for being vaguely clever, if still not particularly outraged.

It does make you wonder what type of overly polite protest signs might show up in this universe for other Marvel villains...

"GO TO YOUR ROOM, VON DOOM!"

"MOLE MAN HAS NO SOUL, MAN!"

"DANG, KANG!"

"KRAVEN IS CRAVEN!"

"MAD THINKER = STINKER!"

"MAXIMUS THE BAD!"

OK, I'll stop now...

Wait, wait, one more:

"BARON MORDO ES MUY GORDO!!"

#notsorry

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--What Villains Did Before LegalZoom Existed!!

Let's say that you're Paste-Pot Pete, and are desperately in need of some legal advice. What do you do?

Why, burst through a lawyer's window and start spraying paste everywhere!!

But he has a serious legal question.

Now, there's all kinds of obvious flaws here: of course you can be convicted even if they can't find the body; getting representation through a threat voids any attorney/client privilege so you just confessed; and anyway telling your lawyer about a future crime you intend to commit isn't protected either.

But don't worry, it was all a feint by the Trapster, anyway:

See, he just wanted to lure Daredevil out!!

Oh, you're wondering how he planned to kill Daredevil without leaving a corpse behind?

Well, you had to borrow the Wizard's tech to make it work, Pete, so maybe don't crow to loudly.

Plus, big surprise, Daredevil gets out of it:

The Trapster--always a loser.

From Daredevil #35 (1967)

Manic Monday Bonus--Who's Got Super Senses?!?

It's one of those fun little features from Marvel's annuals!! Daredevil discusses the spectrum of super-senses in Marvel-616:

It's kinda small, and the word balloons are not in the same spot as the picture they're describing, so we here at Slay Monstrobot have gone to great lengths to arrange things nicely for you. Enjoy!!

Really, DD? You're going to doubt the flippin' Watcher?

From Daredevil Annual #5 (1989)

Manic Monday Bonus--The True Reason Sports Stadiums Are So Expensive!!

Sure, it's insane to spend kajillions of public money on sports stadiums...

But look at all the jobs they create, with the villain's complexes hidden beneath them!!

See? Stuff like that doesn't come cheap!!

Plus, when super-villains own your stadiums...

There are a hell of a lot of repair expenses in the off-season!!

From Daredevil #123 (1975)

Why Daredevil Hates Car Washes!

Well, duh, right? Everyone knows--

What's that?  You don't know why Daredevil doesn't like car washes?!?!

Well, it's a good thing I'm here, then.

See, someone stole Matt Murdock's car, and--

What's that? Blind Matt Murdock had a car?

Well, it was really the firm's car. Foggy thought they needed to present a better image than having to show up in taxis or take the subway, so he spent the firm's hard-earned $ and bought a car.

And some punks stole it.

So, Daredevils tracks the rambunctious joy-riders all over town!

FWUBBA DUBBA DADUB!!

And so, that's why Daredevil hates car washes.

Oh, don't worry, the insurance paid off the car.

If only Matt had gone through this car wash, things would have gone a lot better for him!!


From Marvel Fanfare #27 (1986)

Eight Observations About Daredevil #62 (1970)!

#1--Nighthawk should really go back to the original costume.

Seriously, I like this one so much better than the boringly generic one he started wearing with the Defenders...Am I the only one?

#2--Gene Fucking Colan.

Gene Colan should be far more celebrated than he is. Statues should be erected in his honor.

Gene. Fucking. Colan.

#3--That plan never works!!

See, Nighthawk is pretending to be a good guy here...

And of course fickle New Yorkers are completely wowed over by the new guy.

His real plan?

Yes, Batman Returns completely ripped off this plot. (Of course, Roy Thomas undoubtedly ripped it off from some other comic...)

Still, who would ever believe that a rat could turn popular acclaim into political power?

Sigh...

So Nighthawk continues building his reputation...

...and the White House is only a few busted head away!!

But wait--did I mention Batman Returns completely ripped off this issue? Yup, even down to the "hero uses surreptitiously recorded megalomaniacal dissing of the public to convince public that they were wrong" gambit:

And thus ends the master plan of The Penguin Nighthawk!!

#4--Matt Murdock, practicing biochemist!!

Earlier Nighthawk had knocked DD out of action with a "dizziness serum." Next time?

Wait--what? How? Did you have a double major in law and biochemistry?!?

I think we all know that "I developed an antidote" means "I stopped by the Baxter Building on my way over..."

#5--Daredevil, master of disguise!!

When Nighthawk captures a jewel thief...

He's really...

OK, how does that even work?!? I mean...

#6--Where does he get all of those wonderful toys?

I have no idea what the hell this car even is...

...but man, do I want one!

#7--He even looks like Jeff Goldblum!!

Well, I see it...

#8--Did I mention Gene Fucking Colan?

Well, he's worth mentioning again!! And again. And again...