Great Moments In Script And Art Complimenting Each Other--JLI Annual #1!

Don't you love it when art and script mesh perfectly?

Like, for example, in this week's Justice League International Annual #1.

The art is by Jason Fabok, whilst the script is by the two most powerful men at DC, Dan DiDio and Geoff Johns, so we know with metaphysical certitude that these two guys can't mess up.

We begin in "central Africa," where warlord/"thug" Mukassa has a bunch of hostages, and the JLI is coming in for the rescue:

Please note that Mukassa pretty clearly has dynamite strapped to his chest, what looks to be some type of explosive device around his waist, and wires sticking out everywhere.

Batwing swoops in and snatches him...


But Mukassa has other ideas:



Oops.

Well, Booster is a little bit upset that they let Mukassa take the coward's way out, but don't worry--Batwing has a perfectly believable explanation:

One more time, please. The "Batman Of Africa," Batwing, tells us:

Let's go to the tape...

Yup, small. Undetectable. No way on Earth Batwing could have been expected to know the guy was covered with explosives. No way he could ever intuit that a guy with a suicide vest might have a trigger on it somewhere.

Now, we know that DC's Chief Creative Officer and Co-Publisher could never be so careless as to write a scene where the dialogue clearly and completely contradicted the art. So we can only assume that they intentionally meant to portray Batwing as a total liar or a total idiot. A CYA super-hero, or blind as a bat(wing).

Stay tuned to Slay Monstrobot in the future for more Great Moments In Script And Art Complimenting Each Other!!

Ask The Answer Manic Monday #3--Diversity

From The Ask The Answer Man column in JLA #179 (1980):

Boy, it's a good thing that Dan DiDio wasn't doing the Answer Man column back then, or recent history suggests that his answer would have been a testy, "Who should Batman be teaming up with? Tell me right now! Who should he teaming up with right now? Tell me!!

DC Punts

OK, so everything I wrote earlier today is irrelevant. Sorry. Timing is everything.

The facts: DC will be re-numbering all DC Universe titles starting with #1 in September. Please note, Justice League #1 will debut on August 31, so as I predicted, Flashpoint #5 will NOT be the only release that day. I win that one, at least.

In a USA Today article, Dan DiDio declares

We looked at what was going on in the marketplace and felt we really want to inject new life in our characters and line...This was a chance to start, not at the beginning, but at a point where our characters are younger and the stories are being told for today's audience.

CBR reports that in a letter to retailers, DC VP of Sales Bob Wayne said the massive reboot:

will introduce readers to a more modern, diverse DC Universe, with some character variations in appearance, origin and age. All stories will be grounded in each character's legend -- but will relate to real world situations, interactions, tragedy and triumph. Some of the characters will have new origins, while others will undergo minor changes. Our characters are always being updated; however, this is the first time all of our characters will be presented in a new way all at once.

Let me translate. DC's co-Publisher and Senior VP of Sales are out and out telling you that their current stories are NOT being told for today's audience, the the current DC Universe is not modern and not diverse, that the marketplace has said that the comics they publish need new life.

Has there ever been a more thorough admission of failure? "People don't like the comics we're publishing, they're not at all relevant, so we're going to start over." As if the comics that were allegedly lifeless and and irrelevant and not being told for today's audience were somehow being published by elves or fairies, and not by the exact same people making this announcement. The new product will be much better than the old product!! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Oh, yeah, and new costumes:

In the 70s we had the DC Explosion, followed by the DC Implosion. Well, now we've got the DC Punt. "We have seen the enemy, he is us, and we're shifting the whole line to Ultimate DC."

Obviously, more to follow.

The Past Is Prologue

Sometimes, you re-read something that you had read a long time ago as a child, and it looks completely different to adult eyes. And you see that editorial departments shamelessly calling a pig's ear a silk purse isn't particularly new.

Take, for example, Adventure Comics #459 (1978):

Great Aparo cover, by the way...

Adventure Comics has been through many, many permutations over the years. And in late 1978, it went through one of the odder ones. At a time when comics were 35¢, it went to a 68-page, no ads, $1 anthology title.

Now, in retrospect, there was an obvious behind the scenes reason--DC had just experienced the infamous DC Implosion, when economic woes caused DC to retrench and cancel about 30 ongoing or planned comics. They wanted to keep publishing the characters though, and they wanted to run some of the work they had already paid for. So Detective Comics "absorbed" Batman Family, and became a bi-monthly $1 book, and Adventure became an odd hodgepodge.

Of course, they couldn't come right and say that, could they? So they gave us some grand (and lengthy) text pieces to explain why we should be excited for the new format:

Now, let me emphasize, I'm not trying to be mean to Paul Levitz here. He had a job to do, and a corporate line to toe. Plus, with no ads, they had to put something inside the covers...Still, what we get is a litany of silliness, about what a bold new experiment this was.

Well, Paul, some of us loved those crazy-ass theme giants. Super-Heroes Battle Super-Gorillas was brilliant then, and is brilliant now. Dis those at your own risk.

And "no featuring supporting characters who should have stayed supporting" kind of rips on the companies existing product, doesn't it? Detective was featuring Batman Family, and the very issue you're writing this in features an Elongated Man story, and a Deadman series picking up from the cancelled Showcase!! Not to mention, in just over a year Adventure would be back to a "normal" format starring Plastic Man and Starman (the lame one nobody remembers).

Having no "tone" for all the stories, sadly, resulted in the series being a mish-mash, a collection of unrelated stories that didn't really have any reason to be published together. If you were expecting people to plop down a buck, you had to give them some clue as to what to expect every issue, and this "no domination by one star" did exactly the opposite. And eventually the readers did decide.

Actually, the New Gods story could easily have "fit within the creative confines" of another DC comic...except you guys cancelled it. These two stories were just the conclusion of the abruptly yanked Return Of The New Gods series, buried in the Implosion.

Apparently, the "uncertainty" about who would script the future Green Lantern solo stories was so great, they just dumped him after two stories and replaced him with the unpublished stories from the cancelled Aquaman series.

Oh, and they had big plans for the slots at the back of the book:

Despite the "endless litany of ideas" for the "experimental area," after the first two issues they just said "the heck with it" and just started running the JSA stories from the cancelled All-Star Comics. The Man Called Neverwhere series never appeared anywhere (as far as I can tell).

Again, I shouldn't nitpick too harshly. But then I read a signoff like this, it bugs me:

Seriously? "More than we have ever wanted any of our titles to take off??!?!" And what is the list of titles that you didn't really want to take off?? Huh?

So, big surprise, DC in 1978 puffed up a salvage job as something new and bright, and was vaguely insincere in introducing it. Big deal, right? Hardly worth blogging about...Then again, when you compare this to the excited PR Dan DiDio put out about Milestone and Red Circle, it seems that puffing up an experiment you fully plan to let crash is obviously still the DC editorial policy.

Prophecy Fulfilled, Sadly

Well, I've been predicting this for a year and a half now, haven't I? I predicted that the return of Barry Allen would lead to Wally West being shuffled to the sidelines, losing his title, his JLA spot.

No, no, we were told. All is good. Wally will be active in the Titans, said Dan DiDio. Wally will have a back-up series in the new Barry Allen Flash mag!! Bart will have his own Kid Flash mag!! It's a golden age for all things Flash!!

Hey, some people actually believed him.

Surprise, suckers. In a video interview, released during Christmas week so many would be sure not to see it, guess what DiDio revealed? That Wally back-up series? Now on the back burner. That Kid Flash series? Not gonna happen. And after promising (several times) that Wally wouldn't be ignored or put on the bench? "Your Flash fix will be Barry Allen, pure and simple, for 2010."

So, checking off: "Part of the Titans team for the foreseeable future" (quote from DiDio)? Nah, they're being replaced by an all-new Titans team led by Deathstroke. Lost his JLA spot? Yup, which is pretty ironic, since most of other the Titans are now gonna be in the JLA. Lost his book? Yeah, not even deemed worthy of back-up stories. New costume? Yeah, they just did that in Flash Returns, and I wouldn't bet against another.

I'm sure we can look forward to seeing cameo appearances by Wally in the next DC Halloween and Christmas specials...or maybe he can join The Forgotten Heroes...

Oh, and Kendra Saunders, Michael Holt, Rick Tyler, Jakeem Thunder, et al.? Now that Blackest Night is leaving open the status of your predecessors, you might want to start packing. Because while DC claims to love their "generational heroes," they'd don't love actually having them around, do they? You guys are all on the clock...

Dan DiDio Doesn't Get The Legion

From a panel at the Toronto Fan Expo:

When the floor opened up to other topics, someone inquired whether there were plans to expand on the Legion of Superheroes?

“The problem with Legion of Superheroes is the big cast and my biggest personal problem was the lack of Superboy and the inspiration for the team,” offers DiDio. “That was so key to the origin and so key to so much going on there that without that, without Superboy to inspire the team, it lost its own purpose and just became a team. It was something set in the future, but it didn’t have a real tether to what was going on in the DC Universe currently. What we are trying to do is rebuild that time, rebuild that sensibility, and hopefully rebuild a Legion that is a strong powerful set of characters in the DC U again.”

Now, of course Dan DiDio is entitled to his own opinion. But this statement shows that he pretty much doesn't understand the Legion's history, its success, and why fans love the Legion.

"The problem with Legion of Superheroes is the big cast?" Really? One might ask, then, why DiDio was so enthusiastic about Legion Of 3 Worlds, which not only shoehorned in every tangential member of that cast, but tripled it by bringing in two alternate universe versions. If it wasn't a problem in LO3W, why would the "large cast" be a barrier to a new, continuing series?

And of course, the "big cast" is really no more a problem for the Legion than it is, say, for the Justice League or Society. There's no rule that says you have to use everybody at once. You pick and choose who your team is for that story, or that arc. Very few Legion stories have ever crammed in every member, and few in the future would have to. Just because you have a kitchen sink doesn't mean you're going to throw it in there every issue.

Most obviously, though, one of the very reasons for the Legion's popularity IS the big cast. You have literally a huge legion of heroes to choose from, and the fans love it. The times of the Legion's greatest popularity have coincided with when their cast was the largest.

Problem? The "large cast" isn't a problem, Dan, it's an opportunity.

And if too large a cast is a problem, one might finally ask why DC is busy trying to incorporate the large casts of Milestone (oops--never mind!), Red Circle and T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents into their universe.

Secondly, Didio's "biggest personal problem was the lack of Superboy and the inspiration for the team."

Again, this shows a lack of knowledge of the Legion. From 1980 onwards, Superboy was not a regular member of the team. He'd show up for special ocassions, but the title changed from Superboy And The Legion Of Super-Heroes to just The Legion Of Superheroes in January of 1980.

Yet, despite that lack of Superboy, the Legion from that point onwards was popular enough to be able to support two separate title simultaneously--twice. The Legion of the 1980s and 90s was very popular, and reached creative and sales heights it hadn't when young Kal-El was attached.

Yes, some foolish DC editorial moves retconned Superboy out of the Legion's past--2 or 3 times, actually. I won't rehash that here. But to say that "we don't want to publish a Legion title because we screwed up Superboy" is the same thing as saying "we're going to punish you fans because we did something stupid 20 years ago." Thanks, Dan.

"...without Superboy to inspire the team, it lost its own purpose and just became a team?" Come on, Dan, are you serious? Do the JLA or the Outsiders spend every issue worrying about their "inspiration" or "their purpose?" (Except, of course, for Justice League: Cry for Boredom). For 2 decades the Legion did just fine by being inspired by "corrupted legends" about a Superboy, or by Mon-El, or whomever...and it worked just fine. Unless you're going to have them genuflecting "this is for you, Superboy" every issue, I don't see how this is any different than how you treat the Titans or the JLA. And i can't see why it would take more than one issue to re-establish their inspiration, if you think it's that important.

"It was something set in the future, but it didn’t have a real tether to what was going on in the DC Universe currently." That's not just wrong, it's just plain ignorant of DC history.

Without Superboy as a regular, the Legion fought off Darkseid and Ra's Al Ghul. They participated in several line-wide events, such as Legends, Millennium, Zero Hour and Countdown. They had at least 3 members who had mini-series set in the 20th century. Hell, for a couple of years they had half the team actually stuck in the 20th century. They were linked (albeit somewhat tenuously at times) with the L.E.G.I.O.N. and R.E.B.E.L.S. titles. They've had modern Superboy and Supergirl as members. They're constantly time-travelling into the 21st century these days, partying with Superman and the JLA and the JSA. They hung out with Batman in Brave & Bold. They were responsible for resurrecting both Kid Flash and Connor Kent Superboy. Mon-El is the star of the Superman comic book these days.

Don't have a real tether to what was going on in the DC Universe currently? Dan, what the frak are you talking about?!? If you're paying attention, the Legion has been "tethered" more strongly to the DC Universe than half of your 20th century DC books.

Finally,Dan, to get to the dreaded bottom line, if these are problems, why is DC printing trades from these non-Superboy eras, and fans demanding more? I know, I know, you'll whip out your standard "that's a different division of DC" line, like you always do. But the fact remains--someone at DC sees the sales potential of the Legion despite "large casts" and "untetheredness", while you just opine about the "problems".

Dan, the Legion is more popular and better than you think it is. If you're really this ignorant about the history and potential of one of your oldest super teams, you're doing a poor job as Editor. If not, and you're just ladling BS to cover the real reason ("we're waiting for Geoff Johns to be ready"), then be honest with us.

But instead of a thriving, vital Legion, what we have now is what almost precisely fits the vision DiDio described: a back-up feature with just a couple of characters appearing at a time, wandering around the 21st century. Yawn.

"What we are trying to do ...is rebuild a Legion that is a strong powerful set of characters in the DC U again." You know, that sounds exactly how you enthusiastically described the Milestone characters in July of 2008. Do you see why I'm concerned, Dan??

One Down, Two To Go?

Hey, remember back at the 2008 San Diego Comic Con, when DC announced the acquisition of the Milestone characters, and made a huge deal about integrating them into the DC Universe, and Straczynski's Brave & The Bold stories were just going to be a start of a glorious future? When Dan DiDio declared, "You’ll be seeing other characters show up in other series [outside of the JLA and Teen Titans]. It’s going to be very organic and very natural in the way that we bring them in...." Not to mention,

There is a depth to these characters, there is an awareness to these characters, there’s a strength in personality, and there’s great development in these characters. When you have characters like ICON, Static, Hardware, the Shadow Cabinet...these are great characters and great concepts in their own right. This isn’t about a diversity issue – this is about bringing great material into the DC Universe, and being able to add value to everything that we do.

And 13 months later?

5. kryptofan1 asked:
Do you have plans for the Milestone characters (other than Static in the Teen Titans) after the Brave and Bold stories?

DiDio: At this particular time, we have Static in the Teen Titans, and we're looking at a storyline that might be built around Static later in the run. But right now, no other plans.

Oh. Never mind.

So much for "value added," eh? So much for the grand plans of a mini-series wrapping up the old Milestone continuity, or DiDio's statement that the characters would be at the "forefront" of the "big storylines in the DC Universe."

I can't help but wonder if the canning of Dwayne McDuffie from JLA had something to do with this; maybe he took his toys and went home.

Or maybe the DC Borg Collective finally found a species it couldn't assimilate.

But let me remind you of a prediction I made three weeks ago: "I predict dismal, flaming failure followed by a thorough under-the-carpet sweeping for DC's attempts to integrate 3 disparate continuities into their recently re-convoluted universe."

One down, two to go.

...And It Was All A Dream...

...continuing the walkback of Final Crisis to "Elseworlds" status, here's Dan DiDio interviewed by Newsarama:

16. A quick clarification on the status of the Hawks – the seemed to have died in Final Crisis, but in Blackest Night #0, they’re alive and well...

DD: What happened was that during the whole integration of the Multiverse in Final Crisis where we saw a version of Aquaman appearing from another Earth, so was the case with the Hawkman and Hawkgirl that met their fate in Final Crisis. That said, the Hawks are very prominently featured in Blackest Night #1, and are very much alive at the start of that book.

So, have you got your checklists handy? Inserted a two-page epilogue into the last issue of Final Crisis so we would know that Batman wasn't really dead? Check. Insist that it wasn't really the "real" Aquaman we saw in FC #7? Check. Inform us that it wasn't "our" Hawkman and Hawkgirl who died? Check. Made sure that not a single continuing DC series so much as mentions the events of Final Crisis (uh, the Daily Planet building blew up? Lois in a coma? Alpha Lanterns infiltrated by Granny Goodness? Martian Manhunter's death not even mentioned in an issue of JLA? Anybody?? Anything???) CHECK.

For whatever reason, DiDio seems intent on turning "The Day Evil Won" into "The Day That Had Absolutely Zero Impact On The DC Universe."

So, everybody out there who thought that Secret Invasion would have far more impact on its universe than Final Crisis, raise your hand...

That Explains So Much

Last Saturday at MegaCon, Dan DiDio said (please note, this is apparently not a direct quote, but the article's summary of his statement) that Gotham City Sirens will feature the first “in continuity” Harley Quinn and will be written by Paul Dini.

Really? The first "in continuity" Harley Quinn? So the official DC line is now that Countdown never happened? Granted, that's probably for the best at this point...after all, we're still waiting for those "Challengers of the Unknown" to actually do something (snort). Still, it's kind of amazing, given all the fanfare DC put into that pathetic series, for declaring it "the spine" of the DC Universe, that DiDio can blithely say it's not in continuity...


And Harley's appearance during Dini's run on Detective Comics...not in continuity?? Really?

Perhaps next Dan can direct me to where I apply for a refund...

Style Points

When you have a last minute change of writer and/or artist from what you've previously announced, there's a right way to do it...

...and a wrong way to do it:

Q: I was really looking forward to the end of Jim Shooter's run on "Legion of Super-Heroes." Can you tell us what happened there and why fans weren't informed of the creative change?

DiDio: Well, first of all, that is a pseudonym, it's done by request of the author and we really don't talk about it. We finished and cancelled and put the book out the door. I'm not really sure what the question is, but thanks for asking it.

Not that it needs saying, but Dan DiDio is no Stan Lee...

Letter from Tales to Astonish #61 (1964). DiDio's FU to Shooter and Legion fans from the NYCC, hat tip to The Legion Omnicom.

Because the past Has Absolutely No Relation to the Future...

DC Comics' current attitude towards fans summarized nicely:

"Everybody should stop worrying about what came out, and be excited about what's coming out," said DiDio.

That a boy, Dan...keep 'em distracted with nonsense...

Damn It, I Was Right, Wasn't I?

A little while back I wrote a post commenting on the impending return of Barry Allen. This is part of what I had to say:

And if they want to bring back Barry Allen? I don't agree with that, but I can be one board for that without too much crying. But I fear that said resurrection, under the current regime, just means they're just going to flush away 20 years of character growth and supporting cast of Wally. He will lose his mag, lose his JLA position, lose his supporting cast, and be relegated to appearing in the Titans and an occasional Mark Waid written Brave and the Bold.

Check back in a year and tell me I was wrong.

Well, it's substantially less than a year, but let's see what Dan DiDio had to say at Wizard World Chicago this weekend:

Question from the audience: With Barry Allen back, does DC have a better plan for what to do with Barry than "what you had for Wally?"

Ethan Van Sciver: "Oh of course."

DiDio: "Wally will be around. He's part of the Titans team right now, and he'll be part of that team for the foreseeable future."

Oooh. Foreseeable future. Part of the Titans team. No mention of his own mag, or his supporting characters, or his spot in the JLA. That's reassuring.

Sure sounds like I was right, doesn't it?

Maybe Wally and Kyle Rayner can go off and form their own team, The I Used To Be A Headliner Until DC Revived the Originals and Bumped Us to Second Banana Status.

Bait and Switch

Well, there's a lot that's been written about Final Crisis #1 already. And given that there's 6 more issues and about a billion spin-offs yet to go, it would be very premature of me to comment too much on where the story is going. Because frankly, I haven't the foggiest.

Oh, and I do mean a billion spin-offs. In this week's DC Nation column, Final Crisis editor Eddie Beganza lists 8 of them, and he doesn't even mention Brad Meltzer's DC Universe: Last Will and Testament. He does include 2 I hadn't seen mentioned before, Final Crisis: Submit, and Final Crisis: Submit. So they're still coming up with new ones, and probably more will come to light in the next few months.

But I digress. What I wanted to opine about today was one thing that became abundantly clear while reading FC #1: Grant Morrison either didn't read Countdown and Death of the New Gods, or he doesn't give a flying fig about what happened in there.

If the former, well, lucky him. Countdown was execrable, and DoNG was at best underwhelming (hell, its story didn't even finish in #8, but continued into Countdown).

But we were told, time and time again, how important and vital events in those two series were, how they would be the lynch pin of what would happen in FC, how they were laying the foundation for what would come later.

Uhhh...not so much. Morrison not only contradicts what happened in those two series, but also what happened during his much-lauded run on JLA.

Case in point #1: The Monitor flitting about the "celestial fountain of interlocking universes" says that Universe 51 no longer exists. The Monitors exile 51's Monitor Nix Utoan for that.

Except, of course, 51 wasn't destroyed. Or, rather, it was recreated by Nix Utoan in Countdown #9. Yeah, the Earth-51 was ravaged by the Morticoccus virus, experiencing the "Great Disaster," and became the universe that Kamandi takes place in. Countdown spent an interminable 3 issues setting this up and explaining it. But Earth-51 still exists. The Universe 51 was not lost. Morrison either didn't know or didn't care.

Case in point #2: The New Gods. Let's start with Hal Jordan and John Stewart playing CSI: Green Lantern.

Does Jon Stewart seriously believe that Hal Jordan doesn't know about Darkseid? Really? THE ultimate baddy in the DC Universe forever, and Jon acts like he's talking to a rookie GL. Patronizing much?

How about Superman? He's always been closely linked to the Forth World. What does he have to say on the topic?

Look, Kal-El just spent 8 issues hanging around with ALL of the New Gods. During Countdown #2, Superman and the entire JLA sat on the sidelines and watched as Orion and Darkseid battled to the death. Orion and Barda were actually MEMBERS of the JLA during Morrison's run. Mister Miracle was a member during the JLI days. So why, exactly, is the Man of Steel acting like no one has heard of these guys before? "Guardian archives describe?!?!" How about "Remember that fight we just watched a couple of weeks ago?" or "Remember when Orion was a member?"

Now, I'll grant the need for some exposition dump in this launch of the new mega-series. But why pretend that these New Gods are strangers? Just very clumsily done, unless Morrison has already re-written continuity before the series has even begun.

And maybe he has. From a Q&A with Dan DiDio at Wizard World Philly this week:

Q: Was Death of the New Gods essentially, immediately retconned in that many of the gods were shown alive, albeit in a different form, in Final Crisis #1?

DD: “Death of the New Gods was a celebration of Kirby. A chance to say goodbye, and give them a proper send off. But it all makes sense as Final Crisis unfolds. Both the New Gods and Seven Soldiers will factor in to the events of Final Crisis.”

DiDio back in October sold us DoNG as "a story that we at DC have been building to for some time" and the series where "all your questions will be answered, and you will not be disappointed." And it's resolution was really the only point of the entire 52 (ahem 51) issues of Countdown. But now, it was just a "celebration of Kirby," apparently no more in continuity than "Whatever Happened To the Man of Tommorow."

Yeah, this all might be explained away in the upcoming 95 issues of Final Crisis. But you and I know it won't. Morrison's so powerful right now, he doesn't even have to be consistent with book that he's already written., let alone something written by Jim Starlin or Paul Dini.

Again, not that those storues were any great shakes. It's DC's right to do it that way, but it's disrespectful the the readers who bought and read the earlier mags, and disrespectful to the creators of those other mags.

Dan DiDio--Fool Me Once, Shame On You...

OK, it wasn't too long ago that I reviewed what the the first issue, or at least the cover of that issue, of Countdown had promised us, as compared to what the series actually delivered. And I was forced to call "Liar, liar, pants on fire" on Dan DiDio (amongst others).

Well, some people can't keep from fibbing, I guess. Let's look at an interview he gave Newsarama back in December:

NRAMA: When we’re talking about Final Crisis are we looking at another Countdown style event with multiple spin offs and plot threads going into other series?

DD: No - Final Crisis is seven issues over eight months. It has a natural break built in between two of the issues. During that natural break, there will be a series of specials dealing with Final Crisis and the events of that natural break in the story.

There will also be two other supporting series for Final Crisis, one of them is a five part story, one of them is a six part story. That is the full extent of Final Crisis. So we will not see Final Crisis crossing over in any appreciable manner with the rest of the line. All of the other monthly books will continue on the stories they’re telling, with their established creative teams for those series.

If we go any further or any wider…wait – you know what? I don’t want to be called a liar seven months from now when we add one more special or something, let me couch that – at this point, there are no plans to extend Final Crisis past that initial conceit, because we feel that what we have planned covers all the major story elements for that storyline. If we have to go any wider, when we will create a special, but we will not incorporate any of the Final Crisis storyline beats in any of the monthly series.

OK, so let's recap: Just 2 supporting series,. A single-issue special or two. And "7 months from now," if there's a change or two, well, it won't be much of a change.

So, 5 months later, let's look at what's actually solicited by DC for August:

Final Crisis: Revelations (1 of 5)
Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds (1 of 5)
Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge (2 of 3)
Final Crisis: Superman Beyond (1 of 2)
Final Crisis: Last Will and Testament (1 of 1)

Ahem.

"There will also be two other supporting series for Final Crisis...That is the full extent of Final Crisis." (emphasis added)

"I don’t want to be called a liar seven months from now when we add one more special or something..."

Five months later, we've already climbed from 2 "supporting series" to 4. Anybody wanna take any bets that the number doesn't grow again before too long? And the "series on specials" during the one-month break in Final Crisis proper is...one. They actually subtracted.

Congratulations, Dan. You've earned another coveted "Liar, liar, pants on fire" award. Keep up the good work.

Thursday Quickies

I have a yearly commitment that means A) I am always away for Free Comic Book Day, with no way to get to any comic shop, and they're always gone by the time I get home, and B) I always miss the opening of the summer kickoff movie, so I don't get to see Iron Man until Sunday, or later. Grrrr....

Said commitment also means no time for blogging, Doctor Jones. I have a Friday Night Fights scheduled to publish on Friday (thank you Blogger-in-Draft). But that's about it. And I'll be so jammed up I may not get to any more substantial posts until Monday. We'll see.

But I can't leave for the weekend without a few quick and thoughtless jabs, can I? And it will make a nice break some some of my more...ahem...epic-length posts recently. So what do we have out this week?

Green Lantern #30:
Many bloggers have asked why is it necessary to have 6 issues to tell the "Secret Origin" of Hal Jordan. There are three reasons:
A) Geoff Johns has a lot of time to kill until he can start Blackest Night.
B) It takes that long to retcon every single aspect of previous GL history so it ties in with your odd color spectrum theories
C) When fully 1/3 of the pages in the book are splash pages, it takes quite awhile to tell a story, bro. Seriously...do we really need a full page splash when Carol Ferris or an unmutated Hector Hammond walks in? Really?

New Avengers #40:
For the second week in a row, Bendis has given us an Avengers issue which features absolutely ZERO Avengers, just flashbacks establishing the background of Skrullapalooza. Two questions:
A) Why isn't this stuff actually IN Secret Invasion? Where it belongs if you seriously want to tell this story (and sell the mega-series to newbies)?
B) Why doesn't Marvel just change the title of the books to "Whatever Bendis Feels Like Writing About This Month"?

Action Comics #864:
So, for the 7th straight issue (that's more than 1/2 a year) Johns has had Superman reduced to a guest star in his own magazine. I'm just sayin'. At least it looks like next issue he's actually getting back to telling, you know, Superman stories...

Unless you're going to make Action into DC Comics Presents, like John Byrne did...

Blue Beetle #26:
Let me assure you that I don't mean this in any Lou Dobbsian way, but...with a series teetering on the verge of cancellation due to low sales, is it at all wise to do an issue all in Spanish? Can you imagine a potential new reader picking this one up? And never coming back?

So: good sign (because DC has enough faith in the book to try something like this) or bad sign (because DC knows the books going to be cancelled, so why not let the creators do something crazy)? I report, you decide.


Legion of Super-Heroes #41:
You know, back in the Silver Age, Shooter's Legion stories were never...this...glacially...paced, were they? Seriously, how many more shots of Lightning Lad bickering with bureaucrats do we need before Shooter believes we understand? How many issues pondering the mystery of the "Destroyers" before the story advances one iota? How many pages of Legionnaires shrilly arguing with one another?

Sigh...it feels as if Shooter is just marking time until Johns takes over (which he's obviously gunning for, with 7 issues of Action dedicated to the Legion, and the upcoming Legion of 3 Worlds).

DC Universe #0:
Well, Dan DiDio in this week's DC Nation boasts "this book is the bridge from Countdown to Final Crisis to Final Crisis." Well, as I asked not 3 days ago, "Anyone care to wager on how much of this gets followed up in Final Crisis? Any of it?"

The correct answer. ZERO. Not a single panel of this ties in in any way whatsoever to ANYTHING that happened in Countdown.

I guess DiDio needs to look up the definition of "bridge." Thanks for raping my wallet for 52 (ahem 51) weeks, DC. I expect my refund any day now.

One final note (for now) on the "big reveal": if you want to have it turn out that the entire book was narrated by a particular character, shouldn't Morrison or Johns actually have had SOME of that narrator's dialogue sound like it could have come from that character's mouth? Because that narrator sure doesn't talk like XXXXXX ever did...

Immortal Iron Fist #14:

Like bacon in comics form.

Now let it be known I will forever pledge my fealty to Marvel if they get Fraction & Brubaker to write an "Immortal Weapons" ongoing...



OK, gotta jet. I'll be back next week, along with some exciting announcements for something upcoming around these parts...hee hee...

51 Issues and Nothing On

Well, then, here we are: 52 (strike that, 51) weeks later, we've had our "greatest phase of change" and "every major event and and nearly every character spinning in and out of the story." (So sayeth Dan DiDio) So, never minding the sheer editorial incompetence I discussed yesterday, what, exactly, did we learn about the DC Universe? What was the story about, and how was it told? Did Countdown matter, even if ineptly executed?

In terms of the story, at least, we learned virtually nothing. The climax of the storyline, in issue #2 (because most countdowns climax at two, you see) was just the wrap up-up of the storyline from Death of the New Gods. That's right, the the 8-issue limited series DoNG didn't even wrap up on it's own, but was to-be-continued in Countdown. Unfortunately, issue #8 of DoNG appeared AFTER Countdown #2, so we got the story's ultimate chapter before it's penultimate chapter...way to go, guys.

Seriously, that was about it...the entire point of Countdown was to show the outcome of some other mini-series. It turns out the whole reason we were on board for 52 (ahem, 51) issues was to watch Orion kill Darkseid. So why not make DoNG a 9 issue mini-series? Good question, padawan...

What else did we learn? We learned that we were severely misled, as the series premiered with a cover promising this:

and delivered us a series starring this:

Not a good way to start a relationship, lying to us like that (probably a wise marketing decision, though).

We also learned that the emperor has no clothes...Paul Dini, that is. Sure, he's pretty good at Batman, and he wrote some decent cartoons (okay, some really good cartoons), but this series showed that he's not good at plotting something epic length, and that he's not at all good in keeping continuity in a fully shared universe. He has little feel or regard for how characters were portrayed before he took them up, and showed a total inability to explain anyone's motivations. And the number of loose ends left untied, even after 52 (ahem, 51) padded and rambling issues, is stunning.

Let me say one thing before we continue on: I'm tired of hearing "it was mandated by editorial" as an excuse for a crappily written story. Sadly, that's become a convenient excuse to let writers that we like off the hook for piss-poor execution. And frankly, it's self-serving: as we saw with JMS's Spider-Man comments over the years, he's always been quick to publicly declare that every story fans hated was the editors' fault, and everything fans liked was all his doing. Conveniet, eh?

Yes, there are a TON of sins that can be laid at the feet of Mike Carlin and Dan DiDio; but at some point Dini himself is the one who put plot and words to paper, and he has to take his (ample) share of the blame. (And yes, we can always blame some of the "co-writers" and "creative consultants," but Dini was "head writer" throughout this mess, and that means nothing if we keep shifting the blame off to others).

Examples? How about Pied Piper?

Excuse me, Paul Dini, but Piper ALREADY was on the side of the angels. He had reformed, remember? He and Trickster were just infiltrating the Rogues to get the dope on their plans, remember? You ought to remember, because that's exactly what you wrote in #51! So for the big climax to the arcs of one of your main characters, you forgot whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. Smooth.

Example: Captain Atom/Monarch. You know, I won't say Captain Atom is one of the top guns of the DC Universe, but he's hardly insignificant, either. And when someone like him goes off-the-deep-end rogue you really need to have SOME discussion in the series he's "starring" in about WHY he's gone bad, don't you? (Unless, of course, he was possessed by the color chartreuse or some such nonsense) However, we had no such discussion, no characterization, nothing. Hell, we hardly had any mention that he used to be a hero.

Example: Monarch & Superboy-Prime: They were both prime movers in this silliness. They faced off in issue #13, and theoretically killed each other: Prime ripped open Monarch's suit, and the resulting explosion destroyed THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE of Earth-51 (don't worry--it got better. Really). But Captain Atom has survived things like that before, either being thrown about in space/time or into another dimension. And Superboy-Prime survives (he's one of the villains in the upcoming Legion of 3 Worlds, so he was most likely just thrown forward in time). Yet despite the fact we've been beat over the head with how dangerous, how huge a threat to the multiverse these two are, there's not even a single inquiry into their final fate. Not a word balloon, not a thought balloon, not a caption, nit an asterisk, nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Example: The Challengers of the Unknown (what are they challenging? It's unknown!!). We've been shown REPEATEDLY through Countdown that these guys were no match for a single Monitor...but somehow we end up with this:

These guys couldn't take down Lord Havok and his Extremists...yet now they're going to boss around ALL the Monitors? Really? Does that make a lick of sense?

Example: The Morticoccus. OK, those of you who haven't read this series aren't going to believe me on this. The sole point of having Karate Kid in this series (the SOLE point!) was that he was infected with the Morticoccus, a sentient super-virus that can exist in multiple dimensions and is essentially death on wheels. KK's version was especially deadly because it came from the future, and so was already assimilated to 31st century medical technology, and laughed at our medicine. (Note to Brainiac-5: exiling people to the past with extinction-level diseases can't be good for the timeline...) Earth-51's universe is destroyed (the second time) by the Morticoccus...yet despite the contention that it was now airborne and that their immunizations were temporary, the Challengers traipsed back to Earth-1 with no ill effect, and Morticoccus was never mentioned again. At all. The whole "threat to all universes" bit was completely forgotten. The fact that Ray Palmer had to go around spreading his immunity to other universe was never mentioned again. Karate Kid was in this series just so we could spend 3 entire issues showing the origin of the Kamandi universe (which Kirby could have done in 3 pages, or even 3 panels...).

I could go on, with the pointlessness of it all. Jimmy Olsen: got superpowers, lost superpowers, absolutely no character growth. Why was he in this series? Jason Todd: still a vicious killer and torturer of criminals. Why was he in this series? Holly and Harley: were Amazons for 5 minutes, had gods-granted powers for 5 minutes, now they don't have them and are back in Gotham (with no mention of WHY they left Gotham in the first place, or any particular character arc whatsoever). Why were they in this series? Kyle Rayner: well, he was in this because...well, I don't have any idea whatsoever. Now he gets to moonlight by Monitoring the Monitors (get it? GET IT?!?!), with absolutely no mention of whether he gets to keep his day job in the Oan Honor Guard.

Hey, you want a fun drinking game? Check and see how many unexplained events and unexplained characterizations had to be covered by Carlin & Co. in the Newsarama re-caps each week, and drink for each one that is NEVER covered in the 52 (ahem 51) issues. Just don't plan on making it to work the next day.

I used to complain that there wasn't enough story here for 52 (ahem, 51) issues, so all we were getting was padding and repetition. The sad truth, as it turns out, is that there was no story, period. The climax to another (shorter and better) mini-series, the creation of a new group that I guarantee will have less impact (and not last as long) as the "New Guardians" spun out of Millennium, and Mary Marvel being completely destroyed as a character. Seriously, that was it. Anyone care to wager on how much of this gets followed up in Final Crisis? Any of it?

A 52 (ahem 51) issue series with no plot, no characterization, and no reason for being? I'd like a refund, please.

Such a Thin Line Between Clever and Stupid

Do you know what the real problem with Countdown was? There were only 51 issues.

I know, I know, I sound like the guy in the joke: "How was that new restaurant?" "The food was terrible. And the portions were small!"

But seriously, I think I'm on to something fundamental here. The fact that Countdown was only 51 issues, and not 52 as promised, helps us see what a shambles DC's editorial direction under Dan DiDio is right now.

Let's deal with the obvious problem first: what the hell kind of countdown ends with 1 and not zero? Really, you can watch a million NASA videos and never see the ship liftoff on 1...

But that's just trivial ranting, right? Yeah, but it marks a sad trend. 52 was to be a fifty-two week series; but as they neared the end, they realized that the writers basically had refused to write the story the editors had wanted, and so they couldn't fit the neglected resolutions into fifty-two issues, and had to publish the abominable 4 issue Word War III to take care of it. So the fifty-two issue mini-series became 56.



And now, with the latest planned-for-fifty-two-issue series, they decided to end it with only 51 issues. Ostensibly, it was because (and I'm paraphrasing here) the zero issue was going to be a direct cliffhanger-filled lead-in to Final Crisis, and they just couldn't end the trade with cliffhangers, so they had to end the series at #1, and make what was going to be Countdown #0 into DC Universe Zero.Seriously, that's what Didio said.

Let's look at the ways that makes absolutely NO SENSE, shall we?

• I've heard of writing for the trades, but editing for them? Cancelling issues or shortening series for the convenience of the trade? Even if that made artistic, financial or editorial sense, has DC never had a trade end in (at least partial) cliffhangers before? DC trade buyers, help me out here...


• DC knew from Day 1 that Countdown was going to be re-titled Countdown to Final Crisis, and they alerted the world at issue #26. Certainly they knew from Day 1 that it would lead directly into Final Crisis, and involve cliff-hangers of some sorts. So why in the world not pace the "epic" so that #1, the issue that "ended" Countdown cliffhanger free (albeit not untied plot line free) was #0?? Did they somehow not know there was going to be a trade? Why shorten the series, instead of adjusting things so it ended where you wanted to in issue #0? Seriously, folks, it's like Nigel Tufnel trying to explain about his amp going to 11 here...




• Gee, if DC Universe Zero is supposed to be what was in Countdown #0, why does it have completely different writers? Hmm

You know, I'm more than happy to grant some leeway in the development of a 52-issue weekly mega-series. Things morph, new ideas come and go, editors are replaced (ahem). But when twice in a row you screw up the actual number of issues you need? When you can't even to get the series to do what it's supposed to do (hell, what the freakin' title says it's supposed to do!) and correctly link up with your next mega-series? Countdown to The Issue That Actually Leads into Final Crisis?!?!?

How screwed up is DC editorial on Contdown/Final Crisis? Check out this exchange from Newsarama's interview with "editor" Mike Carlin about Countdown #1:

Newsarama: So Mike, given the various points of narration, this whole storyline took one year?
MC: I wasn’t around for the beginning of this project... So not sure if anyone else said it... But I wasn’t under the impression this was happening in real time. Some sections went quicker than others... But as stories were spread out and checked in on for only a few pages an issue... I assumed many sequences were running simultaneously until they dovetailed at end.

"I wasn't around?" "Not sure?" "Under the impression?" "I assumed?" Are these really phrases you want to hear from the man editing your "lynch pin" series, the "spine of the DCU?" (That's DiDio's quote, not mine). He has no idea of the flippin' timeline of the series?!?! Isn't that an editor's job #1, especially on a series that ties into the rest of the DC Universe? Don't you, like, ASK SOMEONE when you take over? Either this is buck-passing to avoid blame on the most colossal scale imaginable, or Carlin is the most incompetent editor ever.

DC editorial essentially has no frakkin' clue what they're doing. They're making it up as they go along. It's astonishing.



Anyway, tomorrow I'll look at the artistic train wreck side of Countdown. Here's some preview material for you...