A Healthy Relationship!!

Con man Wilbur Wolfingham has taken up a new calling:

Bilking the lovelorn out of their hard-earned bucks.

Lois decides she has to expose him (again):

Gee, we haven't heard that lately.

Ah, but Lois is too clever to let on that she's there as a reporter!

Her story?!?

So why is Wolfingham helping?

"As heretofore."

So Wilbur meets up with mild-mannered Clark Kent.

Oh, Clark, you poor sap. You actually believe it!

Prepare to get let done hard. Very very hard. Unnecessarily hard.

Oh, Lois, you rhymes with witch.

What's good for the goose, though, is good for the gander, as Lois finds out when Clark turns the tables on her:

Ladies and gentleman--you should hate these people and their games, not root for them to get married.

Anyhoo, Superman put Wolfingham out of business, and arranges for weddings for the couples he was swindling:

Oh, Lois...#$%&*

From Superman #39 (1946)

Manic Monday--Friendly Competition?!?

After Lois has been rescued from some goons by Superman...

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!! Sick burn!!!

Ah, but in the same story, after Superman saves the Daily Planet building from collapsing, and saves Metropolis from Lex Luthor's atomic bomb...

OOOOOOHHH!!! SNAP!!!

Get a room, you two!!

From Superman #38 (1946)

That Time Lois Lane Set Up Clark Kent To Be Murdered!!

In this imaginary story, Lois Lane has married Bruce Wayne!!

Unfortunately, the Gotham syndicate has noticed that Lois is always around when Batman is, so they suspect that she knows his secret identity. So they kidnap her and proceed to give her an intensive interrogation:

Time for Curt Swan to let his freak flag fly!

Well, who could stand up to all those floating words?

Oh, Lois, thank you for setting Clark up to be killed!! (She doesn't know his Superman identity).

But wait...Clark Kent is in Metropolis! How could he be Batman?

Fortunately, criminals are a cowardly and gullible lot:

Yes, Batman commutes to Gotham every day.

Anyway, obviously Clark is in no real danger, and he and Batman thwart the hoods.

But the big takeaway here? Lois Lane is ready to throw non-powered civilians to the wolves. Way to go, Lane.

From Lois Lane #89 (1969)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--It's A Crazy Idea, But It Just Might Work!!

GBS' main competitor is none too happy about how they keep getting scooped on Superman stories:

What?!? A super-hero taking pictures of his activities and giving them to reporters and (photographers)? Well, I never!! Whoever would think such a thing was possible?

Sssh!!

There really should be a class at journalism school covering ethics and the coverage of super-heroes...

From Action Comics #458 (1976)

Who Needs A Police Artist, When You Have Sitcoms?!?

Young newspaper delivery boy Stephen unknowingly witnessed one of the perps who busted in the underground vault at the Diamond Exchange and ripped off all the diamonds!!

Clark Kent is on the job!!

Wait, what?!?

So Fonzie, BJ and Mork walk into a bank...Somehow I don't think this identification would stand up in a court of law...

Well, sure enough, Stephen's ID led to a bust (and a front page exclusive for Clark!):

And Stephen's reward?

Wait--his description saved millions of dollars worth of diamonds...and they bought him as bike?!?! A bike!?!?! Sheesh, talk about chintzy...

Then again, it's more of a reward than Clark gave him for the scoop...

From Superman Family #212 (1981)

How To Describe The Fortress Of Solitude In 21st Century Terms!

Needed to be said:

You tell him, Clark.

Now if only someone would dare say that to Batman...

From Action Comics #964 (2016)

Rebirth Thursday--The Smallville Rodeo?!?

Thought balloons narrative captions from the All-New, All-Different Clark Kent:

So wait a minute...in the Rebirth universe, the Kents had a cattle ranch?

In fairness, we still don't know what the deal with this "Clark Kent" is yet (they're probably waiting for Geoff Johns to send them a memo explaining it). So maybe *this* Clark Kent grew up rousting livestock instead of plowing fields.

Or maybe Clark went off summers to work at Uncle Jedediah Kent's cattle ranch?

Or Smallville had a rodeo?

Or...

From Action Comics #963 (2016)

Manic Monday Bonus--BvS, The Ultimate Ultimate Ultimate Edition!!

Let's begin at the end, as Batman and Superman have put down another fiendish plan by Lex Luthor.

It's the next day, and by gum, Clark Kent wants a hot dog!

Ah, but fortunately...

Now, this is the kind of Batman v Superman I can get behind--stupid practical jokes and public punking!!

You know, it's too bad that kid fell, because I really want to know what Batman's endgame was with the $72 hot dog bit. Would he have relented, and winked, and let Clark know it was a joke? Would he have continued to embarrass Clark, and make him pay lest the people of Metropolis thought he was a skinflint? What the hell would he have done with the money if Clark paid? 

From Superman Annual #9 (1983)