Friday Morning Freak-Out--You Had One Job, Drax!

Time to blow your mind, folks.

It's time for the first battle between Drax The Destroyer--created/resurrected specifically to defeat Thanos--and the Mad Titan himself!

SPOILER ALERT: It doesn't go well for Drax.

You had one job, Drax.

From Captain Marvel #28 (1973)

Manic Monday Bonus--Why The Mole Man Will Never Be An A-Lister!

Namor has found the Cosmic Cube!! He's going to use it to take over the surface world!!

Oh, don't worry--like most villains back in the day, Namor really had no idea how to properly use the Cube.

Seriously, this is the best he could come up with:

Make a goofy sea beast so you can prove how tough you are by having fisticuffs with Hercules? Oh, Namor, honey, it's a good thing you're handsome...

Indeed, a well-timed sting from the Wasp causes Namor to drop the Cube, and...

Yup, lost down a "bottomless crevice". No chance anyone at all could ever find it...

Oh...dear...

You may be the first Marvel villain, Mole Man...but you'll always be the dumbest.

From Avengers #40 (1967)

Friday Night Fights--Again With The Cube style!!

You know, as much as Thanos has lusted after the Cosmic Cube, he's a piker compared to the Red Skull, who has possessed it far more often than the Mad Titan.

So for this week's Friday Night Fights, let's travel back to the ancient days of 1996!

Captain America has just died because the Super Soldier Serum stopped working! But not really, as the Skull, whose brain was living in a body cloned from Steve Rogers (yes, really...try to keep up, Marvelites!), gave Cap a blood transfusion, which revived and restored him!

And then the Skull trapped captain America inside the Cosmic Cube, so he could fight Hitler, whose consciousness was also in the cube (yes, really again--try to keep up, True Believers!). Once Cap killed Hitler's mind, the Skull would have total control of the Cube, and remake the world in his image.....phew!!

But Steve's subconscious has sussed out the Skull's machinations, and...well, let's watch:

Well, that's the end of the Red Skull forever, right? Right...?

Spacebooger would use the Cosmic Cube to bring LeBron back to...hey, wait a minute!!! I wonder...

Yet another Cap/Skull tiff from Captain America #448 (1996), brought to you by Mark Waid, Ron Garney and Denis Rodier

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because if you don't, the Red Skull will come back, with the Cube, and you wouldn't want that, would you? Wait, you mean they already...oh never mind, just go and vote!!

Your Sunday Morning Head-Trip®--1969, Baby!!

For your Sunday Morning Head-Trip®, let's check out what happens when the Red Skull uses the Cosmic Cube to bring Steve Rogers and the Falcon to him:

Why use a simple one-panel teleport...when Gene Colan and Joe Sinnott can BLOW OUR MINDS!!!

From Captain America #119 (1969). Of Course it's 1969...