[
Editor's note: this post will present one of the more disturbing images ever. Read at your own risk]
Imagine, if you will, a cross between
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and
Captain Planet's Planeteers...well, wait, you don't have to
imagine that:
I mentioned the Turtles quite deliberately, as the Conservation Corps debuted in one of
Archie Comics TMNT specials.
And as for the Planeteers reference? Well, each of our
cartoon animals has dominion over Earth's elements (loosely defined):
Oh, to heck with the dry text. Let's meet 'em!!
There's
South America's Firefly--Commander of Fire & Heat!!
Meet
England's Stone Hedgehog--Ruler of Rock & Stone!!
North America's Water Buffalo--Mater of the Waters, and
Africa's Greenhorn--Lord of Flora & Vegetation!!
And finally, the sole
female member of the Corps: from the waters of the Pacific,
Skyshark, Mistress of the Sky, Air and Weather!!
Uhhhh....
ummmm...is she naked?
I mean, the other animals all have
clothing and
costumes, and as far as I can tell, she's just wearing a belt...I mean....
ummm....
OK, OK, put such thoughts out of my vile head. This is a
kiddie comic. Look, it even has a page for the tykes to send in their crude but lovable drawings of the Corps!
But on the opposite page, right across from the kiddie art, there's
this pin-up (click to embiggen to full uncomfortableness):
Uh...I mean...but, but...
ummm....I know I'm a mammal, and...
errr....well, if she's a shark, why does she have...
uuuuhhhhhh...I thought this was a children's comic, and...
hhrrmmm....
Well, that is just all kinds of disturbing, isn't it?
From Conservation Corps #3 (1993)