So, "Rex" Could Win If I Just Printed It Neatly?!?

Who want's a great prize?

Wow!! What else ya got?

Whoa! A "first prize extra"!! To heck with you other prize winners!!

Now, I mock, but round trip air fare and $500 wasn't chump change back in 1960.

So what did we have to do to win this relative fortune?

You have to name this cute dog!! Awwww...

No, seriously, that's it.

However, there is an important discrepancy between the entry form and the rules:

So, the form asks for what you name the dog, even though you're already supposed to print that on the dog's collar, while the rules ask you to "tell us why you like dogs," even though there's nowhere to write that!!

If I were cynical, I might believe that that was a purposeful error, a way to void all the entries so they don't have to award the prizes. If I were cynical...

So how do they pick the winner?

"Neatness"?!?! Really?

Plus, define originality. If I name the dog "Øʓʁœ﷼ῴᶙ۞ѾЙ," do I win, as long as I write it neatly? That's original, right?

And of course...

...you must deface your comics to enter. THE ENTIRE PAGE must be ripped out!!

And if you want multiple entries, well...

...please destroy multiple comic books!!

In fairness, there is no story content on the flip side of the page, so your comic will still be readable. It's just a list of the other prizes:

You will note that many of these other prizes ask/require "winners" to write in with names and addresses and/or send money to get the full value. Why, if I were cynical, I would say the whole enterprise was just an excuse to put together mass mailing lists and potential customer lists for various companies.

If I were cynical...

From Unusual Tales #21 (1960)

The Giant DC Comics Slogan Contest!!

It's 1956, so it's time for...

Tell us more...

Of special note:

You have to mutilate *5* different comic book to enter--FIVE!!

In fairness, the other side of the coupon was just a text piece that nobody ever read. But still--5 mutilated comics books.

But hey, it is "definitely possible" to win more than one prize, so please, deface 10 comics! 15! 20!! There's no limit!!

As to the slogan itself...?

Wow. If those are the best example you can come up with, no wonder you need to outsource your sloganeering to children!

It is interesting, because this ad appeared in October 1956 comics, which means it was exact the same  month as Barry Allen's debut. Most of DC's Silver Age had debuted yet, which limits a lot of your slogan possibilities.

And only 15 words? How can you come up with something better than "DC Comics are Decent Comics"?!?

And our prizes?

So, wait: there are 200 Third Prizes for boys, and only 120 Third Prizes for girls? That is some serious bullshit there, DC. Maybe the slogan should have been "DC COMICS--Mostly for boys!"

Anyway, you guys work on your own slogans for DC--15 words or less! No prizes, but eternal fame awaits!!

From Detective Comics #236 (1956)

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

We have a winner in the unbelievable Slay Monstrobot 5.000th Post Contest-A-Rama, and it's tomg:

The Trouble Shooters
Core members: Alison Double (Marvel), Phantasmo (Dell), Vibe (DC), Copper (DC). Invisible Scarlet O’Neil (Famous Funnies), Blue Jay (DC) Frequent ally: The Golden Bat (Nagamatsu) Temporary members : Life Lass (DC), Weight Wizard –(prior to his capture by Nardo) (DC)

Alison Double, the albino telepath who was last seen recovering in the Alps with Elizabeth Braddock just before the latter adopted the mantle of Captain Britain (back in 1986), returned to her work at S.T.R.I.K.E. She moved up in the organization, eventually being placed in charge of security which also gives her authority of the robot known as Copper on loan to S.T.RI.K.E by Doctor Magnus.

S.T.R.I.K.E. scientists experimenting with some machines confiscated in one of their assignments accidently activate a time storm that causes chaos across the English countryside. Copper and Double do their best to assist in stopping rampaging dinosaurs and some creatures they cannot identify (like the flasher beasts from Adventure Comics 339). They find themselves aided by Vibe and Phanstasmo who were pulled in from the past before the respective deaths as well as from Life Lass and Weight Wizard from the 30th century. The Golden Bat, a hero missing for decades, also joins the battle and leads the drive in locating the person or people behind the increasingly uncontrolled temporal storms. (That would be Wizard, a villain from Dial H for Hero, looking to gather all the unclaimed dials from across time and space).

After the Wizard’s defeat, S.T.R.I.K.E. is left decimated. Vibe, Double, Phantasmo, Copper, Life Lass, and Weight Wizard decide to remain work together and are allowed to operate out of the remains of S.T.R.I.K.E.’s headquarters (which will eventually be purchased outright by Phantasmo) providing stability to the team. Golden Bat reveals that he is not time-displaced and generally operates on his own, but agrees to help the team with emergencies that have global ramifications.

Sometime later, Life Lass and Weight Wizard, are rescued and returned to their time by the Heroes of Lallor in a time bubble… but not before a team-up can occur where the Lallorians can shine. Losing two members leads the team to conduct a recruitment drive. They opt for powers of stealth and select Invisible Scarlet O’Neil and Blue Jay. 

No shade to any other entrants, but this cross-multiversal team most tickled my fancy, both in the obscurity of some of it's characters, and for having the audacity to plan for the replacements in the first The Old Order Changeth event.

Congratulations, tomg. A copy of Take That, Adolf is winging itself your way.

Stand by for the next contest at Post 10,000...

5,000th Post Contest-A-Rama!!

Well, this is post #5,000.

Yeah, it's just an arbitrary round number, and yeah, we just celebrated our 10th anniversary of the blog a couple of months ago.

Still, 5,000 strikes me as somewhat more significant, as a measure of depth. Blogging for 10 years? No big deal. Averaging 500+ posts per year? That some serious wastage of time.

And serious wastage of your time, reader. For which I feel obligated to reward you.

And so, our first (and perhaps last) official Slay Monstrobot contest!!

Let's start with the prize. Via a complex series of circumstances, I just happen to have an extra copy of this fine book laying around:

Between 1941 and 1945, Hitler was pummeled on comic book covers by everyone from Captain America to Wonder Woman. Take That, Adolf! is an oversized compilation of more than 500 stunningly restored comics covers published during World War II, featuring America’s greatest super-villain. From Superman and Daredevil to propaganda and racism, Take That, Adolf! is a fascinating look at how legendary creators such as Joe Simon, Jack Kirby, Alex Schomburg, Will Eisner, and Lou Fine entertained millions of kids on the home front and buoyed the spirits of GIs fighting overseas by using Adolf Hitler as a punching bag!

Well, that seems an appropriate prize for this cow-town puppet-show of a blog.

And how shall someone win this most excellent tome? As I cryptically hinted earlier this week, just create your own super-hero team!!

By which I mean, take some preexisting comic characters--however many you want. 2? 7? 140? They can be from any company, past or present. They can be any previously published heroes, past or present. Just make a fun, kick-ass, interesting team. The best suggestion wins.

NOTE:

A) All entries MUST have an original name for the team, not one that's been used before, or a variation of one that's been used before. Get creative, people. You can do better than West Coast New Gods.

B) You have free reign on your choice of heroes, but you might want to keep in mind your judge's predilections. Multiple versions of the same person probably won't find my favor (i.e. Logan from three different time periods); different characters using the same identity are somewhat more likely to meet my approval. Insert characters from non-super-hero tales at your own risk. Also, this is a team of heroes, and your judge is mighty tired of villains being "redeemed" willy-nilly. Still, your team, your choices, and I'm willing to keep an open mind.

C) Show your work. If you think it will help, explain why your characters would work/fit together well. Give the team an origin/motivation, if you like. Pick a particular universe for them to operate in, if you like. Attention to detail may help!!

D) The sole criteria for this contest is whatever tickles snell's fancy. It's completely arbitrary, so just repeat to yourself, "it's just a silly contest, I should really just relax." All decisions final. Legalese, legalese, whatever.

All entries should be left as a comment to this post. You're on the honor system--no swiping ideas from other entries. All entries must be received by Thursday 10/5. Winner posted whenever I get around to it.

Go to it!!

Paste The Axis!

WARNING: This post contains some offensive racial characterizations.

In 1942, Fawcett had a big contest:

Paste The Axis?

So the readers had to cut out the quotes at the bottom of the cartoon, and paste them into the appropriate word balloon, as the Axis leaders "steal" Captain Marvel's magic word...

...do it again the following month, as the blighters used the word...

...and the 3rd part of the contest required the entrant to come up with a 10 word (or less) patriotic slogan about how "every patriotic American can PASTE THE AXIS.":

Fawcett wasn't stingy with the prizes...there would be 744 winners!

A few month later, the results...

The results were printed over 3 pages, and there were so many winners they had to continue in the next issue!

Sadly, though, they never tell us what the winning 10-word slogans were, which would have been pretty interesting...

From Captain Marvel Adventures #15-17 (1942) and #23 (1943)

Manic Monday--Again With The Acronyms?!?

Danielle Cage, the Captain America from the future, tells of how Thanos conquered Earth in her timeline, but was eventually beaten:

Wait...what was that?

Ahh, just what we need this Monday morning--a contest?

C'mon, folks, help us out here. Come up with what "A.V.E.N.G.E.R.S." stands for!! You know you won't be able to focus on anything else today until you do!!

The story doesn't tell us what it stands for--so your guess is as good as the actual truth!!

Best entry wins eternal esteem...

From U.S.Averngers #2 (2017)

Name The Monster Contest!!

How to make the hard transition from holiday weekend to work week?

A contest!!

Oh, dear. How about a name of "Freaking Nightmare" with the why of "OMG that pink belly makes the monster look seriously frightening"?

What's the prize for this contest?

A pool!! Great!! But I live in an apartment/home without a large enough yard! What does the small print say?

Ah, the old $1000 savings bond ploy!.

Also, I like how they try to game you with the "pool is free, installation not included" scheme.

There were lots (and lots) of other prizes (albeit mostly from "lesser" toy companies):

Well, I can't offer anyone a pool, or any actual prize at all, besides fame and, well...not even fame, really. Still, there are worse ways to spend the morning. So give a name to the hideous abomination cute monster!

From Space War #12 (1961)

The DC Mad LIbs Crazy But Wonderful Solicitation Game--The Home Version!

From DC's June solicits, specifically for Futures End #6:

Ray Palmer, Frankenstein and Amethyst take a dangerous journey into the Phantom Zone!

Best. Solicit. Ever.

It's not as random as it might seem at first blush--Frankenstein and Amethyst have both seen action in JL Dark, while Ray Palmer and Frankenstein were both Agents Of S.H.A.D.E., and thus they were all written by Jeff Lemire at some point. Yeah, the Phantom Zone seems kinds of random, but in a good way.

That puts me in mind of a great game we can play. Let's take the basic template:

BLANK, BLANK and BLANK take a dangerous journey to BLANK!

And let's do pre-nu52, because, well, it has a much wider (and mich more interesting) crayon box to work with.

How about "Aquaman, Arsenal and Arm-Fall-Off-Boy take a dangerous journey to Skartaris!"

See what I did there?

Or maybe "Ragman, Rag Doll and Brother Power The Geek take a dangerous journey to Nanda Parbat!"

Or to heck with subtle themes. Just get really random: "Liberty Belle, Sam Simeon and Ladytron take a dangerous journey to Rann!" Tell me you wouldn't read that!

So let your freak flags fly, dear readers--come up with your ultimate DC solicit using the template. Best suggestion wins our eternal respect...

"G'nort, Matter-Eater-Lad and Jonah Hex take a dangerous journey to Sub Diego!"

I can't stop!!!

New Contest: Two Words, Ten Letters, 2015

On Formspring, Tom Brevoort spilled a bean or two about Marvel's future plans:

If all goes as planned, our big storyline for 2015 will have a title that’s two words long, ten letters in total.

Well, then, game on. Two words. Ten letters. Go!

I, Marvelman

It might take that long to actually clear up the rights tangle.

But it's a great name for a series, right?

Of course, the question then becomes, how exactly does Marvelman fit into the Marvel Universe? Does Doctor Gargunza know Dr. Doom? Does Mike Moran work at the Daily Bugle? Or would this just turn into another Sentry-level clusterfrak?

Darth Vader

By 2015 Disney will have given the Star Wars comic(s) to Marvel. And why not be ambitious about it? An Exiles team leaps into the Star Wars universe, and inadvertently brings Vader back to 616. Ah, the ensuing havoc. Especially when it turns out that The Force is...

Hey, it makes more sense than having Norman Osborn run things during Dark Reign...

Malibu Wars

Marvel will finally resolve whatever the pesky contractual problems are, and revive the Malibu Universe, and integrate it into Marvel-616. Black September II, dawg!!

ROM Revived

Speaking of intractable rights problems...

Well, it's late, that's all I've got. Your turn now.

Big storyline. Two words. Ten letters. GO!!!

How To Break DC's Terrible Public Relations Slump!!

Look, you know that things have not been going terribly well for DC when this kind of website starts popping up:

Yeah, that's not a good thing.

But, as always, Slay Monstrobot is here to help out!!

And there's nothing--nothing--that can change a company's fortunes more quickly than a good slogan!!

Yes, DC actually ran this contest back in 1956. In fact, amongst the issues it appeared in was Showcase #4, so the slogan contest literally coincided with the dawn of the Silver Age!!

 DC later printed the names of winners--all 5,000 of them!! Although nobody seems too sure what the winning slogan actually was, or if it was ever actually used. See here and here for excellent discussions.

Anyway, in 2013 something like this could revive DC's flagging PR status. Let's have a contest today!!

Look, you only have to mutilate 5 separate comics for each single entry!! But that's OK, you'll be able to replace any cut up nu52 comics from the Quarter Bin in a couple of months!

This might be a good way to boost readership, too. As I watch my nu52 pull list shrink and shrink, the prospect of prizes might encourage me to spend more dough, right? Right?

Legibility? Really? Kids today are doomed, because they're not even teaching penmanship any more...

"DC Comics are Decent Comics"?? Aim high, DC, aim high!!

Well, let's open the floodgates, people!! Submit your 15 word (or less) slogans for today's DC!! We'll be sure to pass them on to Johns, Lee and DiDio!!

And remember, legibility counts!

My copy of this contest appeared in Jackie Gleason And The Honeymooners #2 (1956). Because yes, I was spending Sunday morning reading Jackie Gleason comic books...