Bold Fashion Choices--Catwoman's Late 1960s Disasters!!

Catwoman has always had quite a variety of costumes...

No problem there. A woman's gonna have a 70+ year career, she can't wear the same thing every single day!

But that chart is sadly incomplete, as they kind of skip over a couple of her 1960s outfits.

For example:

What the what now?

Green?? Green?!? And what is that material--is it chain mail?

And the not-very-concealing mask...

Geez, Selina, no wonder Batman turned down your proposal this issue.

Don't worry, in a couple of years, Selina was back...but not necessarily better than ever:

Now, that Neal Adams cover does a fair job of diminishing that costume's flaws...

But there is a thin line between sexy empowering costume and I-wanna-be-a-server-at Playboy-Mansion chessecake, and this costume smashes through that line.

And then there's the eyes...

What the hell is up with the mask that makes you look like you're constantly cross-eyed?

Of for those of you who can't stop quoting Edna Mode's "No capes!" as gospel...

What do you thing she'd say about unnecessary decorative tails?

Of course, when you get a bevy of ladies wearing the outfit...

...Batman is not going to complain!!

OK, maybe he will complain...

And don't forget--9 Catwomen means 9 sets of those eyes!!

Catwoman in the 60s--TV show aside, a fashion disaster!

From Batman #197 (1967) and #210 (1969)

The First Catwoman-Batman Wedding!!

Because all of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again, our first stab at a Cat-Bat wedding:

No, I don't know what's up with Selina's costume here. We'll discuss that more at another date.

Anyway, just to spoil you, no, we didn't have a wedding in 1967. But, we also didn't have a fake wedding which DC used to suck a lot of money out of gullible fans while giving us the ridiculousness of Catwoman not marrying Batman because being married would somehow "un-man" him and make him incapable of being a hero anymore. BONUS: DC continues to market a "Wedding Album" and a trade paperback entitled "The Wedding" even after it is well known THAT THERE WAS NO WEDDING. But they're not fraudulent misogynist hucksters at all...

Anyway, back in the day, Catwoman decide that she was in love with Batman, so she pretends to go straight, capturing criminals (and showing up Batgirl) to prove she'll make a better partner...

Bruce--confirmed bachelor!

True love--giving up crime!

But, you know, she is a villain, so Catwoman's idea of love and how to win it can be a little...twisted?

A choice?

Well, capturing everyone and putting them in a death trap is a unique way of proposing, I guess.

But this time out, Batman is the one who says "no."

Of course, Batman escapes.

But don't feel bad, Selina. You never had a chance. Not as long as...

...Robin loves Batman even more than you!!

From Batman #197 (1967)

Dear Batman #1--More Psychos, Please

From the letters column in Batman #258 (1974):
 

Ohs, nos.

This is fairly ironic, because Batman #258 was the issue that had the very first appearance of Arkham Asylum. Yes, the first--incredibly, Arkham didn't exist in comics prior to 1974!!

So this letter, calling for more stories featuring villains "consumed by their inner demons," literally appears at the dawn of the Arkhamization of Batman's rogues gallery.

Now, I'm not against complex villains. But does every villain have to be "consumed," and nuts? What's wrong with Batman fighting thieves and crooks and gangsters some of the time?

Well, Atone Perry thinks the villain is boring if they're not motivated by "deep emotional reasons." By this school of thought, every villain will end up tortured and complex and buried in Arkham, which will have to house all of Batman's villains and become a joke because then the only way Batman can fight someone is if they escape. This is the school of thought that transforms Joe Chill into the guy who eventually became the Joker.

So come on, DC editor, let your answer nip this in the bud!! Be firm (but polite) and suggest to Antone that there's room for all types of foes in the Batman Universe! Come on, tell him--

Oh, gods, don't put it up to the readers!! D'oh!!

And thus, we were doomed to the crazification of Gotham City. Thank you, Denny O'Neill and Atone Perry.

Manic Monday--JLQ

OK, I have some questions about the much delayed Justice League Of America #3 from last week.

Let's set the scene.

Since Stargirl is apparently super-popular (perfect tell, don't show, guys!), Amanda Waller has her cranking out pro-JLA PSAs:

Meanwhile, as part of a plan to infiltrate the Secret Society Of Super-Villains, Catwoman (whom the public is unaware is a member of the Justice League) is going to let herself be caught stealing some jewels...

...and let herself be publicly chased down by the JLA...

...and imprisoned...

...In Arkham?!?...

...and then escape.

So...I've got some questions.

A) They lock up jewel thieves in Arkham Asylum? Really? It must be getting pretty crowded in there if they're throwing non-violent, non-insane petty crooks in there...Does Geoff Johns understand what Arkham is...?

(I would ask about admitting Selina in full costume, but, you know...Arkham.)

B) After PSA's promoting the team as"protecting the world as no other team can," their first public mission is...chasing a cat burglar? And then heavily publicizing that the freakin' Justice League Of America is out "in full force"...to capture a non-super-powered thief? What's next, sending the team out to stop muggers? Mixed PR messages, is all I'm saying. Then again, DC is the expert in mixed PR messages...

C) Steve Trevor is all chuffed when Green Arrow shows up to interfere with their little pantomime. Although, if he didn't want interference, then perhaps staging a very public crime and chase of Batman's "friend with benefits" across the rooftops of Gotham might not have been the best strategy. Even if Batman were otherwise occupied, there are plenty of other vigilantes there who might have turned up to "help"...

D) This issue shipped 5 weeks after its initial solicitation date, which is pretty damn late for being only issue #3. Since this book is the one of the lynchpins of the Trinity War event, what are the odds they can get the book back on schedule to sync up with JL and JLD? How long until Finch is benched, or given substantial "help"?

Then again, this is DC, who published the Epilogue to the First Lantern story before the final chapter of that same story, so maybe they just don't care about releasing their crossover stories in order...

Manic Monday Bonus--He'd Better Have A Frazetta Mural On The Side!!

Scene: Catwoman is the UN ambassador for the despotic nation of Sudaria (shhh--It's Bob Haney--roll with it). She's using that post as a cover to smuggle valuable American defense plans out of the country...but then she dies (SPOILER ALERT--she's not really dead). As Batman has deduced:


So the Caped Crusader rushes to the airport..."borrows" a forklift...


...and takes the coffin to...

"A van"?!? Batman has a van?!? Really??

You know, in 1976, I'm sure that Bruce Wayne did have a pretty bitchin' conversion van, with an 8-track player and a waterbed and lava lamps...and if Batman's van is a rockin', don't...

OK, got distracted there. Sorry. So what does Batman find when he opens the coffin?

You don't get to hear Batman yelp "YIIAAAEEEE!" very often. I wonder what that would sound like in Christian Bale's Dark Knight voice...

And what made Batman scream like a little child?

A couple of big cats? Come on, now!!

Well, Bob Haney's Batman was always a little bit...ahem...less brave...than most other versions, so his solution to the crisis is...



Yeah, he hides in the coffin. No rising for this Dark Knight!!

The story never tells us how he he escapes...presumably he uses that "wrist radio" to call someone a little less cowardly to come deal with the cats and let him out.

At least he has a bitchin' van...

From Brave And The Bold #131 (1976)

Manic Monday--Diplomatic Immunity

Hey, remember that one time that Iran made the Joker their ambassador to the United Nations??


Yeah, Death In The Family kind of sucked.

But it does present us with an idea that we must explore: whatever idea you have for your comic story, no matter how lame...Bob Haney had it first!!

Let's travel back to 1976. Plans for a secret U.S. "cryptographic machine" have been stolen, and agents for the despotic government of Sudaria (including Catwoman!!) have been smuggling it out of the country in pieces. This means "America's entire defense communications network will be useless! We'll be at the mercy of any attacker!"

So Batman and Wonder Woman have been tracking down the pieces, but fail to stop them from leaving the country every time. Good job, guys.

Sudaria's ambassador leaves the country with the penultimate piece, and obviously won't be allowed back in. So Bruce and Diana are going to watch the new ambassador like a hawk...

But they're in for a big surprise:

Really? Yup!

Really?!? Yup.

THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!

Well, Bats and Wondy manage to prevent the final piece from getting out of the country. But we never get to test the diplomatic immunity idea, because Catwoman a) fakes her death, and b) "vanishes" at the end of the caper.

Which is too bad, since she's guilty of at least one murder (!), not to mention several attempted murders, espionage and treason. It would have been interesting to see the legal wrangling. OK, no it wouldn't have. And of course, the whole thing is never mentioned again, not even her "renounced" U.S. citizenship.

So, that makes Catwoman and Joker who have been U.N. ambassadors for hostile foreign powers. What other Gotham crooks have made that job transition? Mad Hatter? Scarface? Riddler?!?

And remember...when you want to chuckle at Austin Powers for folks in colorful costumes at the United Nations...


Bob Haney did it first!!!

From Brave And The Bold #131 (1976)

Bruce Wayne--Ladies Man!!

Lines Bruce Wayne recommends that you use on the first date:

From Batman's first meeting with Catwoman in Batman #1 (1940)

Bold Fashion Choices--Meow!!

As much as we like to kvetch about the Flushpoint costume redesigns, let's remember: Far, far worse DC costumes have happened in the past. Example:

Catwoman, circa 1972. Shudder.....

Still, how can I be angry at Dick Giordano, when he can draw Diana Prince this purty?

All is forgiven, Dick...

From Wonder Woman #201 (1972), as reprinted in DC Retroactive: Wonder Woman--The 70s #1