Kirby And Simon Created The Walking Dead 75 Years Ago!

It seems like every day, Bowery bums run amok.

Today is no different, but...

Well, that was unpleasant.

Who's behind this?

Why, it's the Lord Of Death!! And he immediately calls his best bud in Germany!

A million a job? What a steal!!

Soon, when Steve and Bucky were on patrol at the docks...

Well, leave it to Steve to recognize:

Not even mere zuvembis--ZOMBIES!!!

Soon it's like a scene out of Romero...

But Captain America doesn't put up with such tomfoolery!!

Oh yeah?!?

Even drowning won't kill these saboteur zombies!!

The Lord Of Death continues his reign of terror, sending out his, well, walking dead to wreak havoc and chaos:

Holy crap!!

Well, Cap & Bucky stop this latest wave (SPOILER ALERT: hand grenades!).

But they have yet to get to the root of the problem. So, since bums are being kidnapped to make these zombies, our heroes disguise themselves as bums!

And it works!

Of course, Lord Of Death must monologue!

Still, you're up against Captain America, so...

Which, of course, leads to the most famous phone call of all time...

Kirby and Simon--having society overrun by zombies decades before those other pretenders...

From All-Winners Comics #1 (1941)

Hey, Hitler, Is Your Refrigerator Running?

Cap and Bucky have just put the kibosh to The Lord Of Death, who was making saboteur zombies for the Nazis (a lot more on that another time...)

Well, guess who chooses just that moment to call up his hireling?

Because punching Hitler in the jaw on your covers just isn't humiliating enough!

Bucky giving Adolf the raspberry may be the best thing ever (this week's edition)...

From All-Winners Comics #1 (1941)

What The Surgeon General Tried To Hide From You!

There's a hidden secret to Jay Garrick's origin as the Golden Age Flash that people have managed to ignore/politely forget about over the years.

Young Jay is in for an all-nighter...

What?!?!

The pause that refreshes...!!

Of course, having your lungs full of tobacco smoke didn't help...

Still, I think it's undeniable--if he weren't a smoker, Jay Garrick never would have become the Flash!

Why do you think Thomas Wayne ducked down that alley? To catch a quick smoke on the way to the car!

Under that "gas mask"? Wesley Dodds was puffing away.

Super-soldier serum? 98% tobacco.

Bucky bursting in on Steve Rogers changing? He was looking to bum a smoke.

Tyler Pharmaceuticals? You know they sold tobacco. And the addictive chemical whose effects only lasted one hour? Nicotine.

Al Pratt? He was short because smoking stunted his growth.

It's undeniable--all Golden Age heroes owe their origin to tobacco!!

Bonus: health care 1940-style!

From Flash Comics #1 (1940)

Best. Prediction. Ever. (And, Where The Hell Is Rick?)

Let's take the Wayback Machine all the way back to 1965, and to letter column of Tales To Astonish #63:

"We all know that you're going to bring back Bucky..."

Slow applause for John P. Begley of Harlan, Kentucky (do you know Raylan Givens?). You called it, 40 years early!!

The response?

Oh, yes, play it coy, Stan. Marvel was planning this from the beginning, playing the long game, eh?

Still this does bring up the question, Where The Hell Is Rick Jones? Responsible for creation of the Hulk; responsible in part for bringing the Avengers together; partner of Captain America AND Captain Marvel AND Captain Marvel Jr AND ROM; saved THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE during the Kree/Skrull War; world-famous author and rock star; mentored the Runaways. His middle name is Milhouse!!

And yet, despite a Hulk movie and Captain America movie and Avengers movie, no Rick Jones. WTF?

And in the comics? As near as I can tell, since transforming into "A-Bomb" (sigh) and getting entangled with all the silly Hulk stuff, Rick hasn't been seen in Marvel-616 for well nigh unto 2 years. (I'm told he had a cameo in Hunger #1 last week...that merely highlights that Ultimate Rick Jones is getting for more time and attention than the real Rick Jones).

Marvel: Rick Jones. Now. Thank you.

Manic Monday--Too Soon?

From the Ask The Answer Man column in The Witching Hour #75 (1977):

Oh, I'll take this one for you, Bob Rozakis:

No, Robin will never get out of college to team up with Batman again, because he'll never get out of college, because he'll never get to college, becasue he's DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD---

 What? That's not the right answer?

Oh, sorry, wrong Robin. How silly of me...

By the way, on the subject of killing children in comics...I'll tell you, that never would have happened back in the comics I read as a youth. I mean, really, Stan and Jack would have never done something like tha--

Oh.

Never mind again.

Last panel from Avengers #4 (1964)

Manic Monday Bonus--Don't leave Home Without It!!

So it's 1942, and the only surgeon in the entire universe who can save Toro's life is a Japanese-American doctor, who just happens to be locked up in an internment camp.

So how does a teenager in a domino mask--who, even if people recognize him, believe he's in Europe--convinced hardened Army types to let him in?



Wow. A close-up, please!

Just in case you thought the Avengers ID cards were cool, brother, they ain't nothing compared to the Invaders badge!!

From Invaders #26 (1978). And hey, Marvel, where the hell are the Essential Invaders collections?!?

What Really Drove 1950s Captain America Crazy

It's 1954, and faux-Cap and faux-Bucky have just stopped some commie spies from stealing the "firing pin" to the new "atomic cannon." How do they celebrate?

Uhhh...guys...duck and cover? Bunkers? Protective eyewear? Lead codpieces?

I'm just sayin', that much radiation is probably what drove him nuts...he's already showing the effects with that little speech...

From Young Men #25 (1953), as reprinted in Marvel Super-Heroes #13 (1968).

Friday Night Fights--Edgar Winter Style!!

For this week's Friday Night Fights, we bring you a tale of terror that can only be titled:

Yes, that's right...a Nazi Frankenstein. I'm going there.

Cap and Bucky are in the Swiss alps, investigating the mysterious dealings of Doctor Basil Frankenstein. They're tearing through some Ratzis like usual:

When...



Yup. It turns out that Basil is a descendant of that Frankenstein...and as a loyal Nazi, he's making monsters for the Third Reich. Monsters who can kick ass:


Oh, he may not want to fight, Cap...but he's still whooping on you pretty good.


And the capper?

Nazi Frankenstein who can only say "Sieg heil" might be my newest favorite thing ever. Except, of course, for Spacebooger, who always A #1.

Now get off your butts and go vote for somebody (preferably me, but hey, it's a free country) in this week's FNF, OK?

Don Glut (!), Chic Stone(!!) and Bill Black bring us the greatest fill-in story ever in Invaders #31 (1978).

Speaking of Frankenstein, I've long thought that this should be our new national anthem:



It'd be a lot cooler rocking out to this before ball games...