In case you ever wanted to see James West fight Batroc...
...this is as close as you'll ever come, sad to say!
Of course, now I want to see Captain America pursue a time-traveling Batroc back to 1875 to keep him from aiding Doctor Loveless in replacing President Grant with an LMD and...
See? That right there is why I'm not allowed to write comics...
You may have noticed that,during the "Karate Kick" bout of Friday Night Fights--wherein we were required to have fights that included kicks--somehow I avoided used Batroc The Leaper.
Well, it's the Prize Fight round. So it's crazy Frenchman time!!
Bucky is Cap. Batroc has been hired by some crooks to keep him busy while they make a getaway from their audacious heist.
So, prepare for kicking!!
But man oh man, can Batroc fulfill his mission while resisting an opening?
It's a winning kick!
Of course, Cap later captures the gang of thieves. But for Batroc, it was a good day...
Fin indeed!!
Spacebooger could have done without the naked Batroc.
Batroc keeps to the mission in Captain America And Batroc #1 (2011), by Kieron Gillen and Renato Arlem
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Batroc, man. Batroc!!! So go and vote!!
Friday Night Fights are always difficult during one of my Marvel weeks, because I'm limited by Ape Law to Marvel titles with that month's cover dates...and sometimes, by chance, there's just not a lot of good fights available. Especially this time, as the Fight theme is Villainous Victories...I have to show the bad guy winning.
But there's an actual prize being given out this week, so I'd better dig deep and bring my A-game. Fortunately, there is a cooperative comic this month:
That cover is a pretty accurate representation of what you're going to see. But first, our creators:
The story: Batroc, Machete and Zaran have stolen Cap's shield!! Now Captain America is out to get it back, no matter what. And in this case, the "no matter what" involves making an odd deal with Batroc:
That's right--Cap is going to give Batroc one free shot?!? Zoot allures, this is going to be good. Bring it on, Leaper:
BWAM!!! That, my friends, is a villainous victory!! (More on this issue after the VOTE banner)...
Now, I won three of the 12 rounds of FNF this go-round. But I'm not satisfied, especially since Spacebooger is giving out prizes this time around. Prizes, dammit!! So, loyal reader, head your tails over there, and vote. Hey, if you end up wanting to vote for someone else, well, there's no accounting for taste. But remember--if I win, and I someday rise to a position of great power, well, your votes will be rewarded. I know, unlikely, but think House of M...anything is possible if you don't care about making sense..
Meanwhile, back to Marvel 1985 week...some bullet points about Captain America #303:
**Just in the interest of completeness, it should be revealed that Batroc's "free shot" didn't win the fight...
Woo, Cap!!
**Nomad was a whiny guy...
This goes on and on and on this issue...
**The bad guy responsible for stealing Cap's shield was Obidiah Stane, who we saw being a villain in Iron Man earlier this week. He wanted to try and recreate the material from the shield into an indestructible suit of armor, because that's what villains do.
But the really cool thing about Stane??
His communication terminals have robot claws that hand out wads of cash!!
Eat that, Luthor!!
**A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Latin American walk into a bar...
The international Batroc Brigade consisted, of course, of Batroc, the leaping French master of savate. Zaran, from Master Of Kung Fu, is a master of all combat, unarmed or armed. Hey, the guy could go toe-to-toe with Shang-Chi, so you know he can fight.
And Machete? Sadly, he's not this guy (NSFW!!):
Nope, "our" Machete is just a Latin American mercenary/revolutionary and master of blades. But, man, I would pay big money to watch Danny Trejo fight Captain America...
**Batroc doesn't believe in doors...
You see, after stealing the shield, the trio were sitting around drinking their pay, and a drunken argument ensued, with a wager about whether Batroc could take Cap solo or not.
Well, fighting drunk did confer one advantage:
That's right...Batroc, Drunken Master!! (Come on, you can see the movie now...an aging Jackie Chan teaches alcoholic Jean Reno how to fight, and...)
ELSEWHERE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE:
This is why I'm pissed that Marvel pulled the DVD-Rom rights away from GITCorp:
Reportedly, they were almost done with the Thor set. Grrrr....
Anyway, Simonson, Simonson, and Simonson. Thor and Odin and Loki vs. Surtur. Odin dies (not the first time, not the last time). What a run....