Nerf Bullets And Bracelets?!?

Octavia, princess of Atlantis, is pretty powerful, but she lacks control and discipline.

So Wonder Woman takes her to Paradise Island for some good old fashioned Amazon training!

Oh, William Marston...

Now, did you ever wonder how you start teaching someone Bullets And Bracelets? I mean, since you probably won't be any good at first, and mistakes can kill ya...how do you train?

This is how!

Seriously, someone could make a mint from marketing the "Wonder Woman Air gun & Celluloid Balls Bullets And Bracelets Game (With Real Chains!)." The lawsuits couldn't be that bad, right?

From Wonder Woman #8 (1944)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--What The Hell Is Namor Driving?!?

I mean, really...

What the hell is that?!?

Of course, that vehicle appears nowhere in the issue--because Namor has much, much cooler vehicles at his disposal!!

This fleet of artificial whales is so awesome that it captures Gibraltar...

...destroys the Italian submarine fleet...

...conquers Berlin...

...And they're even on their way to conquer America!!

Don't worry, the Human Torch stops them!! But that's a story for another day...

From Human Torch #5[b] (1941)

Why It's Important To Be In The United Nations!

In the DC Universe, treacherous Russian fisherman are really up to date on international diplomacy, it seems:

Well, that kinda sucks. Why is that? One Atlantis is in, but the other is out? I call discrimination!! Come on, United Nations, Mer lives matter!!

Actually, I'm surprised that Geoff Johns never spun this little factoid into a 6-part arc...

From Action Comics #475 (1977)

Why Aquaman Should Be Played By Paul Hogan (Or yahoo Serious?!?)!!

OK, my references are painfully out of date. I'm sure some amongst you can come up with younger, sexier Australian actors than Yahoo Serious.

Still, the point stands. Because Professor Togg has made a startling discovery in the outback:

What's so shocking? What requires the help of the Marvel Family?

OK, so he's a pretty crappy archeologist...

Well, a few millennia can't stop the Marvels!!

But what do they find?

Well, I guess you're OK in that regard, Aquaman!!

Hahaha, Atlantis a democracy!! Don't tell that to Aquaman or Namor!!

So, after many shenanigans...

And upon return to the present, the Marvels prove that all archeology is bullshit!

Australia was Atlantis!!!

So, really, if Arthur Curry doesn't speak with an Aussie accent in the new movies, you are completely justified in demanding a refund!!

From Marvel Family #39 (1949)

DC Geographry--Where's Atlantis?

When you're trying to figure out where places are located in the DC Universe, you have to use every scrap of information you can find, including some unusual places.

Superman is dead, and Lois is trying to make herself forget by attending a swanky UN function, where she meets...

Wait a minute...

Every child? He's pranking you, Lois!

Well, that's got to play havoc with shipping routes...

What's going on?!?

Lois soon figures out that she's in an alternate dimension, where Atlantis never sank! (And that means that *her* Superman isn't dead! Yay!).

So now, we not only know where Atlantis is...but as a bonus, we have an alternate dimension with no Aquaman!!

From Lois Lane #43 (1963), as reprinted in Lois Lane #113 (1971)

Exclusive Preview of The Aquaman Movie??

Man, I hope Atlantis turns out to be like this:

Because whatever you can say about the mermen with long red tails, seaweed hair and fishtails, they seem a jolly, festive folk:

Fun loving dudes, all of them!!

HA!

From Weird Comics #2 (1940)