Still, It Was Better Than The Star Trek Episode He Was In!

Oh, you kids today don't know the comics you've missed:

Yes, in the year 2971...

See, in the future, there's a terrible war...

And, logically, there's only one way to recover from a great war:

Well, the android John Wilkes Booth returns to his master...

Never trust evil masters!!

But:

Time for the butt-whoopin'!

Do. Not. Frak. With. Abe. Lincoln!

Warning: this is not the last time this week I'll show you a U.S. president fighting in his future...

From Flash #210 (1971)

Best Cover You've Never Seen--Galactic President Lincoln!!

A better ending for the Burton Planet Of The Apes?

Seriously, that's a pretty great cover by Ernie Colon and Dick Giordano.

Sadly, that's not representative at all of what happens in the story, which is the old chestnut where scientists from the future save Abe Lincoln...

Why?!?

Yup, our galaxy is locked in a great war against Galaxy 6 in 2241, and only the leadership of Abraham Lincoln can save us!!

Of course, it turns out that it's all a set-up, as...

...the evil shape-shifters of Galaxy Six are trying to get Lincoln elected, and then replace him with another clone, and rule us from within.

Fortunately, Lincoln learns the truth, reprograms the robot, and foils the plot. The same old story we've seen a million times...

The Unexpected #217 is from 1981. Yes, this story is written and drawn by Sheldon Mayer.

Presidents Day Special--The Day Luthor Killed Lincoln

One of the absolute physical laws of the pre-Crisis DC Universe was: you can't change history. It's all written, and unalterable. If you try, "fate" will step in, and prevent you--or make you part of what was supposed to happen. And the story that was the archetypal proof of this was Superboy #85 (1960):

OK, OK, this ain't philosophy class, it's a Superboy story.

While attending events at "Abraham Lincoln Day" in Smallville, young Clark Kent is inspired:


Uh-oh.

Arriving in the past, Superboy searches for Lincoln on that fateful day. Honest Abe is not at the White House, because...

Sure, whatever you say, Mrs. Lincoln..."certain pressing matters"=assignation with an intern, methinks...

So Superboy searches the hotel, and sees one room registered to a "Mr. L." Why, that must be President Lincoln, right??


D'oh!!!!!!!!


Double d'oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what is adult Lex Luthor doing across the street from the Ford Theater on that fateful day??

Yup, it's just a redonkulous coincidence. He doesn't even seem to realize this is the day of the assassination...he just assumes Superboy was hunting for him. Ego much, Lex? Or pay attention to your history classes?

Luthor proceeds to prove that he's evil by being the biggest dickweed possible to Superboy:




So Superboy is frozen stiff when the inevitable happens:

And when Luthor hears the commotion, and sees Lincoln being carried over to the hotel, he realizes:

And Lex proceeds to cry like a little baby about how one of the biggest tragedies in human history is really all about him:


The moral: even evil people love Lincoln. And Luthor's not alone in that...

So the Silver Age ironclad law that you can't change history is re-affirmed. But Pa Kent still decides to rub Clark's nose in his failure:

Geez, Pa, you're kind of a jerk...

President's Day Special--You Don't #$%^ With Abe Lincoln!!

OK, try to pretend that the "surprise reveal" in the last panel is really a surprise...











Thank you, 2-page probably apocryphal filler piece from World's Finest #105 (1959), for giving us Abe Lincoln, Action Hero!!

Of course, reading this, The Savage Curtain makes a lot more sense...