Marvel 1987 Quiz Time!!

Trivia time, true believers!! (Click to embiggen):

Now, I won't say this is obscure stuff, but even I got an extremely poor score on this.

For what it's worth, this was published in June of 1987, so take that into account when considering "heroes and events that have been in prominence over just the last year or so."

And your answers!

From Marvel Age Annual #3 (1987)

Tales From The Quarter Bin--That 80s Comic!!

As much as we here at Slay Monstrobot like to rag on the comics books of the 1990s, let us never forget...

...the 1980s had their share of crimes, as well. Terrible, terrible crimes.

Just Imagine's Special #1, a.k.a. Mildly Microwaved Pre-Pubescent Kung-Fu Gophers is from 1986. Stunningly, there was no 2nd issue.

Sympathy For The Abomination!

You ever wonder what happens when you're one of Earth's most powerful beings, and you keep getting beat down and beat down and beat down and beat down and...

Well, Thunderbolt Ross and M.O.D.O.K. want to use the Abomination to beat the crap out of the now-has-Banner's-mind Hulk. Because that's what bad guys do.

One problem--good old Emil Blonsky isn't having any of it...

Aw, geez, poor guy...

Well, our pal M.O.D.O.K. was designed only for killing, and not for operant conditioning (which is why he's not called M.O.D.O.O.C., I guess...), because the Abomination is still a cowardly cutlet as he goes on his mission:

SPOILER ALERT: Hulk still kicks Blonsky's ass. Blonsky kidnaps Banner's girlfriend and takes her to M.O.D.O.K., who promptly turns her into...

MS. M.O.D.O.K.!!!

At least Bruce got to wear this bitchin' contraption for awhile:

Mantlo Hulk in the 1980s. Crazy stuff, man...

From Incredible Hulk #288-290 (1983)

The Comic Detective--Labor Day Trailer!!!

The most annoying thing about being an obsessive comics nerd? When, in some other media, you see comic books, and it completely takes you out of what you watching as you quickly try to determine what the hell those comics are. Have I read them? Are they consistent with the time frame of the movie? What is that odd bit of cover?!?!?

Today's example? The trailer for the forthcoming film, Labor Day, starring Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin. The film is set around Labor Day, 1987, and at about 25 seconds into the trailer, at some discount department store we see glimpses of a spinner rack full of comics:

So, to hell with the movie--what about these comics?

This is a case for...The Comic Detective!!!!

Let me emphasize that 98.7% of my "detective" work came from searching about The Grand Comics Database and Mike's Amazing World Of Comics, two of the most invaluable research tools out there. They did all the hard work...I just looked stuff up on their sites!

So, let's start with the first shot of our comics rack. The first thing that we notice is that there are two separate issues of Teen Titans Spotlight next to each other:

That's not too crazy--those of us old enough remember how haphazard and random some of those K-Mart spinner racks could be. They are consecutive issues: #9 & #10, cover date April and May 1987. Mike's Amazing World has as street dates of January and February--a little old, but again, old school spinner rack. We can mostly give those a pass.

Next in the rack:

As the cover notes, this was the final issue of Tales Of The Legion Of Super-Heroes. It's cover date is December 1987, but--and it's a big but--it wasn't on sale until September 27--well AFTER Labor Day. It may be a sloppy spinner rack, but it can't have time travel powers. FAIL!!

Proceeding to the next side of the rack, we have:

Oops. Batman #398 was cover dated August of 1986, and streeted in May '86. Yeah, thing weren't often maintained well on those racks...but a 16-month old comic? FAIL.

Next:

Oh, Outcasts, how we've missed you! #1 was cover-dated October of 1987, street date of July--perfectly reasonable for that to still be on the stands.

The last one in that shot took some digging, but it is:

That was cover date August '87, streeting in May...not out of the reasonable range.

Finally, the final shot with only a tiny portion of the cover visible, turns out to be:

Another Tales Of The Legion...but 6 issues earlier, #348, June '87, street date of March. It's a bit old to be on the rack...especially given the presence of a much newer issue of the same title. Still, crap like that could happen...and at least this issue isn't from the future.

Of course, it's silly to be so hyper-critical. The art director (or some other schmoe) was given the task to fill spinner rack with contemporary comics for a scene that probably lasts 30 seconds in the movie, and that no one sane would pay much attention to. And on that level, they did a perfectly fine job, probably better then we should have expected.

Which proves what an insane loser I am, I guess. I obsess...

BTW, Paramount and Indian Paintbrush--what's up with no Marvels on the rack? It's not WB is involved in this pic, as near as I can tell--so why no love for The House Of Ideas? It would cost too much to throw a Star Brand or an Alpha Flight up there? Sheesh, talk about ruining the movie for me...

Life In The 80s Was Pretty Cushy!

And how do we know that life in the 1980s was pretty cushy?

Just ask the Shield!

Man, that is the high life...laying there alone in your motel bed (while in costume, no less!), drinking that delicious cup of instant coffee, watching old movies on a 19" television...all you need now is a Miller Lite to sip while playing with your Rubik's Cube, and you're totally gnarly, dude!!

A couple of quibbles, though...

This same story tells us that Shield "disappeared" in 1948 (but he was really just in suspended animation, because if you're going to rip off Captain America, let's go all the way, right?).

Well, Milton Berle did become the permanent host of Texaco Star Theater in 1948, so maybe we could let that slide.

However...the nickname "Uncle Miltie" wasn't used until 1949, when Berle himself coin the term on the air as an ad-lib, which then caught on and became popular. So how could the Shield be calling him "Uncle Miltie" in he was gone since 1948?? ?? (Yes, I actually researched that. Yes, I am an idiot.)

And in the rude surprises department...

Oh, poor Shield...The Brooklyn Eagle went under in 1955.

Still, a new Brooklyn Eagle began publishing in 1996, so just wait 12 years, and you can finally begin that job hunt.

And while the Dodgers are long gone, you can enjoy the sports exploits of the exciting and not-at-all overpaid and over-hyped Brooklyn Nets!!!

From Mighty Crusaders #9 (1984)

The Time Steve Rogers Guest-Starred In The Madmen Spin-Off Set In The 1980s

Remember when Captain America used to try to make a living as an artist?

Well, Steve Rogers has a meeting at "Manhattan's hottest advertising agency" to pitch his work:

Uh-oh...double entendre alert!!

She's totally checking out your ass, Steve...

D'oh!! Steve, you've just been Don Drapered!!

By "simpler," he means men harassed the women, not vice versa...

From Captain America Annual #5 (1981)

More Quality Solson Comics

Earler today we examined Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes from briefly-existing 80s publisher Solson.

Solson published some *ahem* quality books, although none made it past 3 issues. Like this, for example, as they kept abreast of the "cartoon animal martial arts" craze:

 Or this classic piece of subtle political wit:

And what about this little gem?

But wait...you'll want to be sitting down for this one...

Now, as near as I can tell, Buckwheat Comics was never actually published, whether because of a sudden burst of common sense, or because Solson went under first. The putative writer, James C. Hallett, did script, draw and ink this Solson gem:

 

 All right, that's far enough down this particular rabbit hole...

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Yes, This Really Existed

The Quarter Bin is a glorious thing, providing many an entertainment for dirt cheap. But she can also be a harsh mistress, "rewarding" you with the most painful comics ever made. This is one of those.

1987 was a heady time, as the success of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles led to a boom of "indy" publishing, as anyone with a pencil and a Xerox threw themselves headlong into making comic books. You didn't even need Kickstarter!!

And while there were some fine comics made, Sturgeon's Law still applied, and there were mountains of crap. And most craptacular were the attempts to recapture the glory of TMNT. All you had to do was title your book Adjective Adjective Adjective Animal, and you were set to flood your crap into comic stores. Oh, there were Cold-Blooded Chameleon Commandos,  Adolescent Radioactive Black-Belt Hamsters, Pre-Teen Dirty Gene Kangaroos...yes, those are all real.

But perhaps the grandest of them all?

Yes, Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes.

Yes, that really existed.

Created by Rich Buckler (!) and Chris Wojkiewicz, scripted by David George, penciled by Wojkiewicz, this little turd bomb was published by here today, gone tomorrow Solson. And boy, does it suck!

Let's begin our story...

Yup, 4 sultry foxes, home from boarding school, get to spend summer vacation...at an air force base. Yay!!

Well, actually, yes, because as the caption makes clear, the ladies have one thing on their mind: virile men!

Let's switch to the villain of our tale...

See, she's called Madame Rotunda because she's kind of rotund...get it?!? Anyway, she attempts to use dark magic to contact her dead child, and gets possessed by an evil demon:

"Pounds and years melt away"--man, if people knew demonic possession could make you so hot, everyone would try it!!

Meanwhile, it turns out that Jasmine's father is a scientist at the base, experimenting on using "eldritch energies" to transmute matter. Except the damned government is about to cut off funding!! So obviously...

Yeah!! We're doing it for science, right?

Sigh...no, we're doing it because it's a great way to get boys...

No, it doesn't kill them, it transforms them!!

See, a machine that can turn dog feces into gold (literally) somehow transformed the young ladies into "Earth's avatars," with, surprise, power over earth, air, fire and water:

Well, at least we got some super-heroes out of the deal, right? With great power comes great responsibility, and all that?

Yes, we received awesome powers...so let's go impress the boys!!

Sadly, the book only lasted two issues...but I'm certain that Fox is probably looking into the movie rights...

So remember the dangers of surfing the Quarter Bin--someday you're going to get stuck with crap like Sultry Teenage Super-Foxes. Beware!!