In Honor of Mother's Day...

It's time to talk about *horror music* PARENTING!

Today, I'm hugely disturbed by the controversy surrounding the image above. It's not why you think.

This image is disturbing to many people who believe that the child is too old to be breastfeeding. I'm of the opinion that it is not up to us, the public, what's best for that particular family. However, I do believe it was in poor taste to plaster the image on a magazine cover. This is an intimate connection between mother and child, and should not be used as a media spectacle.

So, now Time magazine and this supposed mother are catching abundant flack over the propriety of such practices. What disturbs me, in particular, is how every person is passionately opposed to this behavior, which may or may not be hugely beneficial to the child's psychosocial and biological development (I'll have to see some solid research).  

However, there is far more developmental damage that is becoming rampant in our culture, and it goes unchecked- Children and technology. Having a solid background in developmental psychology, I'm aware that there's a general consensus that infants and toddlers should not be exposed to television screens at all. How many parents do you know that sit their child in front of the television, turn on Dora the Explorer, and return to their adult business until the next feeding or diaper change? This is sooo detrimental to a child's social development and is resulting in a very hyperstimulated generation.

Here's my point: BE PARENTS!!! Don't let your kids watch TV and sit on the computer. If you do, it should be extremely limited. Spend time with your children. Take them outside- don't send them. TAKE them. Engage them! Ask them questions and answer theirs. If parents weren't spending so much of their lives engrossed in media, they wouldn't have even noticed the Time cover above!

I'm fighting a battle I can't win, but I won't go down without a fight. :)

Baby snatchers

So, I just discovered the story of Verna McClain, a nurse who (allegedly) murdered a woman and kidnapped her newborn baby. Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. There are so many cases where a woman has miscarried and taken someone else's child. Sometimes, they even cut the baby out of a pregnant woman. It's probably one of the scariest crimes I can imagine.

And, interestingly enough, (if I'm not mistaken) the culprits often have some type of nursing career. This issue is one reason why I fully support mothers who choose homebirth, so eloquently discussed here, at Searching for Simplicity. When the nurses and doctors remove the newborn from your room, you have absolutely no say in what goes on. Often, the parents are so overwhelmed and excited to have their baby, they don't think about what the staff could be up to.

I always wondered why my grandmother was so neurotic about pregnant women and young mothers in my family, hardly allowing them to drive to the grocery store without an escort. While I think that paranoia stems from a health standpoint, it seems not to be a bad idea. While I usually don't support media-induced sensationalism or fear, it's hard not to hear this one. Actually, I'm pretty sure that there is a biological basis for taking babies, and it sometimes happens in ape communities when a mother loses her young.

With that said, I'm just putting this out there... Watch your back. Women are often so trusting. Don't be. Carry a gun with you at all times. I know it's such a pain to concealed carry under women's clothes, but it can mean life or death. I know we all want to be empowered, independent women, but it's not worth sacrificing the safety of your child. Therefore, it's a good idea to not go out alone, whenever possible. Take a neighbor or friend when you run your errands. Hey, they'll probably enjoy it. Most people would love to spend a few hours with your new baby!


P.S. The victim was a white woman. Bet you we won't see any protesters and outrage, making this out to be a hate crime. Just saying...

My Kid Would Never Do That: Stranger Danger

As a criminologist, there is probably nothing more infuriating than constantly hearing the warnings of "Stranger Danger". Now, don't get me wrong- there have been plenty of cases where children were abducted or harmed by a stranger. However, this paranoia that's being placed on the conscience of every parent, is masking the real danger- creepy Uncle Jimmy.

Most of today's parents are so uber-involved as to step in on the child's bullying issues at school (that's a whole different post). However, many parents are missing the number one possible suspect that would harm their child- family and family friends. As a criminologist, it makes me cringe to think how many parents allow this activity to go on because they're clueless. Never trust people to be alone with your kids. ANYONE. Anytime you have to leave your child in another person's care, have a discussion with them about how it went and check them for any physical injury. This is an epidemic in our country.

Beware of your neighbors, friends, and family. It's hard to fathom, but be especially critical of anyone who is always eager to have alone time with your child. While some people genuinely do love children, you have to always be skeptical because the safety of your child is more important. There are no exceptions to this rule. If you have children with special needs (need the citation), there is about a 95% chance that they will be abused or neglected.

Parents, please, open your eyes. Even an adult that may be a lifelong friend cannot be trusted. I know, I know, we all want to believe our families and friends are inherently good and it would never happen to our child. However, there is no other adult- except yourself, that you can COMPLETELY trust that they will care for your child in the way that you want them to be cared for. Pay attention. Be paranoid.