Madonna - Into The Groove (Sire)

Of course in pop, in showbiz, the star personality becomes far more important than the artifact ... the pop personality is the pop machine's ultimate product. Its very raison d'etre. Nobody knows this better than Madonna. Initially touted as NYC's disco queen, she's since unstintingly contrived at a direct hit on Kids From Fame All American Celebrity. As such her songs are now only fit to showcase her presumptious assumption of stardom - success with all the lipstick and midriff and none of the right moves. Her current single "Into The Groove" is formulaic in the extreme and, like her public persona, is hollow. (Jim Reid, Record Mirror, July 20, 1985)

Madonna - Angel (Sire)

Bar the horrible "Material Girl", all of Madonna's songs sound basically the same; trashy dance music with simple catchy tunes and disposable trite lyrics. "Angel" is absolutely typical and I love it. Enjoy it while you can - next year she's bound to go terribly adult, wearing long sequinned dresses and singing Lionel Richie ballads. (Chris Heath, Smash Hits, June 19, 1985)

Talking Heads - Life During Wartime (Live) (Sire)

A quicker, thicker, less slick version of the outstanding track from Fear Of Music, recorded during the 1980-81 world tour which the Heads did as a nine-piece, dance-enhanced out-and-out funk band. I narrowly prefer the original but that's on the B-side, so no complaints. (Tim De Lisle, Smash Hits, March 18, 1982)

Madonna - Who's That Girl (Sire)

Madonna has decided not to put that flouncy flamenco dress back into the wardrobe, because here she floats and trills along to what is little more than "La Isla Bonita" Part Two. Although it doesn't tug at the heartstrings in quite the same delightful fashion as Part One, it is full of soft and incomprehensible Spanish mumblings and electronic calypso twiddles, which will have the Ibizan holiday brigade rushing for the bottles of Ambre Solaire and Vino Collapso as soon as the needle hits the groove. The really bizarre puzzler is that if anyone else had the audacity to release not just one. but two soppy Spanish holiday songs in quick succession, they would be treated to universal scorn. But Madonna is regarded as a Goddess-like being, incapable of mistakes. Which seems terribly unfair really, doesn't it? (Lola Borg, Smash Hits, July 1, 1987)

T: Very much a holiday record. If this wasn't Madonna it wouldn't do anything. I don't think she tries as hard any more.
A: I don't think she needs to, but you're right, it is very monotonous. I quite liked the last one, but I would not buy this.
J: Sounds like her last one remixed. The thing is though, I liked "La Isla Bonita" but I don't think this is exactly going to light any fires. (All About Eve, Record Mirror, July 18, 1987)

Who's that girl? As if we didn't already know. Madonna's fourth single of 1987 is the soundtrack title from her latest film and the sound that will accompany many expectant feet as they hop Wembley and Birmingwards this August. Madonna singles are so effortlessly accomplished these days it's easy to take them for granted. Madonna may also be taking her own talent the same way. This is three parts 'La Isla Bonita', one part Scritti Politti and only one part new inspiration - the exquisite chorus. The Spanish flavour is OK, if a trifle samey, but the breathless pace of the rest is fairly standard. No doubt it will grow on me when it's at Number One the week after next. That's the kind of predictability this girl likes. (Max Bell, No 1, July 18, 1987)

Madonna - La Isla Bonita (Sire)

I've heard this a million times already. I like her and her music's always entertaining. I don't think she's made a bad record, but sometimes you have to be inspired by music and not just entertained. I quite like her records but if there were two record shops across the road and one of them was playing this, I'd go in the other one! I like it but it's not her best. (Owen Paul, No 1, March 28, 1987)

Presumably the last (but not least) single from the True Blue album, "La Isla Bonita" is as close to Abba as Madonna can get without learning a second language. Swaying palms and balmy harmonies. But would she share her desert island idyll with Oliver Reed and a jug of orange? (Paul Simper, No 1, March 7, 1987)

And another one from the multi-platinum True Blue LP. But it's not exactly special. It's got all the Madonna trademarks - a catchy disco synth-beat and the luscious pouting vocals - but it's not cheeky enough. It's not even suggestive. Madonna dreaming of being seduced on a tropical island, by Spanish lullabies!!?? It just isn't up to the gal's usual standard. (Jane Wilkes, Record Mirror, March 21, 1987)

Madonna - Like A Virgin (Sire)

The title of this squeaky clean semi-electro pop produced by Nile Rodgers recalls Mark O'Toole quoted in 'Pleasuredome': "So really I'm never honest." And when one places the record next to the far superior "Borderline", one realises that Madonna is only hip (hop) New York's answer to Cyndi Lauper. (Adrian Tierney-Jones, No 1, November 10, 1984)

Visually, let it be said, Madonna is a pure vision. She walks the deadly tightrope between sophistication and outright sexuality. Her records, on the other hand, are simply tame and lame modern pop disco, and her ability to perform centres more on pouting than on pirouetting. Putting it bluntly, she is a marketing man's dream: a carrot to dangle in front of lechers such as myself, a slightly classier musical version of Page 3, and her record here shares all the throwaway qualities of the said publication. (Pedro, Record Mirror, November 10, 1984)

Apart from being the only girl Peter Martin actually sends fan mail to, Madonna managed to come up with a cracking good first LP that I'm still not sick of even though my brother plays it to death every time he stays at my house. This however sounds like Cyndi Lauper making a feeble foray into disco with the help of Nile Rodgers and a bass line that sounds suspiciously like " Billie Jean". Boring. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, November 22, 1984)

James - So Many Ways (Sire)

James are a bunch of enthusiastic, cheerful and dedicated Manchester "lads" who don't seem to give a tinker's cuss whether they have hits or not. "So Many Ways" is a kind of modern folky dirge with an uplifting chorus built from layers of vocal harmony. Unfortunately, their fresh "live" sound and total lack of slick production will probably prevent them from getting onto the new Radio 1 shrunken swizzaway "play" list. Shame. (Duncan Wright, Smash Hits, June 18, 1986)

B-Movie - A Letter From Afar (Sire)

On the back of the sleeve these guys are posing in an extremely macho fashion with a very nice car in the middle of the desert. They're as pretty as Duran Duran and younger probably. But however much Duran Duran may be favourite whipping boys for the music press, one cannot deny that they have musically progressed far beyond the pale, uninventive stereotypes that follow in their wake - like this. Still, given the state of the charts, this could well be a hit. Who knows. (Martyn Ware [Heaven 17], Smash Hits, January 19, 1984)

B Movie have been around some time now, but they're still searching for their first hit. From their Some Bizzare beginning they've now enlisted the aid of hip New York producer John 'Jellybean' Benitez but he can't do much to help. As a dance record it's depressing, and the swirly Eastern break in the middle just sounds incongruous. Back to the drawing board. (Karen Swayne, No 1, January 14, 1984)

Madonna - True Blue (Sire)

There are a few like myself who are not, and have never been, smitten by the charms of Madonna. We have waited for two years for her to put a foot wrong and disappear into pop's legendary dumper. But she never does. And I'm forced to admit that she's certainly not dumper-bound with this one either. It's from the LP of the same name and has Madonna singing in a fantastically coy voice about true love, over one of those thumpa-thumpa-thumpa-thumpa rhythms. And just to prove that I've always been wrong about Madonna it'll be a huge hit. Bother. (William Shaw, Smash Hits, September 24, 1986)

Blondie had "Sunday Girl", Madonna has 'True Blue' - the perfect popsicle to sing your lungs out to. And then what? "True Blue II"? A glorious retirement? Or more filling of coffers? Whatever, Madonna will now be remembered as the girl who wrote a song so sweet it melts your brain. (Paul Simper, No 1, September 20, 1986)

Madonna - Lucky Star (Sire)

Our Lady From New York takes up astronomy for the follow-up to "Holiday". I've always thought stargazing was a nice quiet hobby, somewhere between birdwatching and trainspotting. Madonna manages to make it sound mildy naughty with much talk of 'heavenly bodies'. Her synth specialists grind away in the background with all the enthusiasm of sinners reciting 100 'Hail Marys' and. by the end of the record, Madonna sounds distinctly earthbound. Strong image, shame about the song. (Mark Cooper, No 1, March 10, 1984)

Twangy bass, shiny guitars, a pumping beat and seriously sexy vocals all go to making this a pretty jolly disco outing that sounds a bit like Shalamar. And since when has that been a bad thing? (Peter Martin, Smash Hits, March 15, 1984)

Talking Heads - This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) (Sire)

A track from the excellent 1983 album Speaking In Tongues, which finds the band in classic style. The characteristic Byrne vocals harnessed to some truly funky guitar keeps the heads nodding in time. Rather senseless to release such an old track, which obviously breaks no new ground, although it contains all the usual dance qualities, zany appeal, profound professionalism and personality that you would expect from the Heads. (Diane Cross, Record Mirror, June 14, 1986)

Talking Heads now have a different British record company, so the old one is predictably trying to make some cash from the old stuff. This could mean endless tired old re-releases, but in the case of a chestnut like this one, who cares? It's absolutely ruddy marvellous! A dreamy little holiday of a song that transports you away on funny bendy notes, interesting choppy beats and charming lyrics and is just...yummy. (Duncan Wright, Smash Hits, June 18, 1986)

Madonna - Live To Tell (Sire)

A somnambulant ballad which contains all the dreariness of a wet weekend in Stockton with Jennifer Rush. Written by Her Elusiveness for her husband's new movie 'At Close Range', it's clearly a piece of background scene-setting. As a single it does to the ears what snooker does for the blind. (Mike Gardner, Record Mirror, April 19, 1986)

Madonna's first new single for a while is a bit of a surprise. After the immediacy of goodies like "Into The Groove", this is a remarkably subdued affair, with Mads crooning away mournfully over a dreamy, smoochy toon. A few listens is all it takes to take root in the brain, and it'll be Top Five before you can say 'Fleet Street Hacks'. And good luck to her - anyone who's that hated by the gutter press must have something going for them. 4/5 (Karen Swayne, No 1, April 19, 1986)

Skipetty skip. Like a virgin, HEY! touched....What's this? The ugly duckling's turned into a swan (er, metaphorically speaking, you understand). We've sunk two octaves, dropped the pinky and perky stuff, and moved in to give Lionel Richie a run for his money in the hankies-out-soppy-time corner. Not an area I care to linger in generally, but this is simple and melodic, soft and achingly sad, and I like it. (Sorrel Downer, Smash Hits, April 9, 1986)

Madonna - Borderline (Sire)

Not having succumbed to the Madonna charm, this sounds like just another American disco record to me. Still, those admirers of her looks, dancing and maybe even her voice should enjoy this. It's pleasant but forgettable mainly because the sparkle and originality of "Holiday" is nowhere to be seen. (Karen Swayne, No 1, May 26, 1984)

That's 'borderline' as in 'this week's effort is pretty borderline as a song and will be lucky if it borders on the charts'. Will somebody please give this girl real songs instead of excuses? (Ian Cranna, Smash Hits, May 24, 1984)

It was inevitable really, that one day Madonna (like others before her) would run out of suitable mementos to bestow upon her record and paraphernalia buying public. And it seems that the time has come.. . Having released just about every track on the Like A Virgin LP, Madonna has reverted to the standard record company ploy of: 'When in doubt re-release a previous single.' This she has done ("Borderline" first surfaced back in '84), and the song itself remains a pleasurable enough experience - nothing more, nothing less. Now, let's see. . . will the follow-up be "Everybody" ('82) or "Burning Up" ('83)? Any offers? (Anna Martin, No 1, January 18, 1986)

No let up, is there? With the last one beginning to slide down the charts, the Madonna organisation bung out yet another ancient track. Like most of the other songs from her first LP, this has already been a single once. Unlike "Holiday" and "Lucky Star", it hasn't been a hit - probably because it's not terribly wonderful. (Dave Rimmer, Smash Hits, January 15, 1986)