Red Box - Heart Of The Sun (WEA)

This lot last graced the chart with the jolly "For America" - a tune with a great video and an irresistible hook that everyone was humming in spite of themselves. Before that they pioneered pop music for the deaf (!?) with a video for the single "Lean On Me" which included a person in the corner of the screen signing the lyrics to the song. Looks like they've just run out of good ideas. (Pat Thomas, No 1, January 31, 1987)

Talk about finding the formula and milking it dry. Do Red Box know the meaning of the word variety? It's the same as the previous saccharine-laden objects of inanity, destined to be bought by thousands with no taste. (Nancy Culp, Record Mirror, January 31, 1987)

Depeche Mode - A Question Of Time (Mute)

The follow up to 'A Question Of Lust' - they don't half ask a lot of questions these boys! Anyway I have it on good authority that the lads were a bit upset that the last single didn't do too well. This is a much livelier outing which should get them the much coveted airplay they didn't get with the last one. It's not as good as 'Lust' but then you can dance to it and that's the most important thing - isn't it? 3/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Spruced up, meatier mix of old track. Not quite as alluring as 'A Question Of Lust' but the rabid, sequenced throb is better programmed for radio land. Good sorts that they are, Depeche Mode will run and run while Martin Gore grows weirder and weirder by the milli-second. (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, August 16, 1986)

The Bangles - Walk Like An Egyptian (CBS)

Actually we reviewed this single in the last issue of Smash Hits and it got a bit of a "thumbs down". However, an error of monstrous proportions had taken place. The reviewer was listening to the wrong side of the record which isn't very good at all and so rightfully received a drubbing. The A side is really much, much better. Brilliant in fact. Probably the best song that The Bangles have ever done. It's a sublimely addictive piece of nonsense verse that jumps about all over the shop with this sort of imitation Middle Eastern melody. One takes "Walk Like An Egyptian" to be a reference to the ancient heiroglyphics on the pyramids in which blokes are pictured with their heads and hands at funny angles. Honorary Second Single Of The Fortnight. (William Shaw, Smash Hits, September 24, 1986)

Let's look at the cover of this one. Poor old Susanna still hasn't found a blouse and the others (whatever their names are) haven't found a comb/decent dress designer/shower (delete where applicable). For me the Bangles are the non-event of the century and this record smacks of gimmickry. Which came first, the record or the marketing campaign? 2/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, September 6, 1986)

Timbuk 3 - The Future's So Bright I've Gotta Wear Shades (IRS)

Don't let the title, which is a bit of a mouthful, put you off. This is brilliant, clever and downright catchy. This husband and wife team from Texas prove that not all American musicians are sheep. Pat MacDonald and Barbara K go their own way and the result is the funniest, most positive and original debut in ages. Makes you feel good just thinking about playing it. The perfect antidote to a dismal couple of weeks. (Pat Thomas, No 1, January 31, 1987)

Horrible old hippies with a whacky little number that I find infuriatingly catchy. (Nancy Culp, Record Mirror, January 31, 1987)

Hugh Cornwell - Facts And Figures (Virgin)

A Strangler alone with a song from the film soundtrack of When The Wind Blows. A simple almost childlike little tune which, were it not for a mean bit of boogie piano by that foul mouthed ogre of children's telly, Jools Holland, wouldn't be out of place on Play School. It purports to question the way that facts and figures are bandied about by both sides in the nuclear debate. While I have no qualms with the motives or the integrity of the artists involved, these sort of songs which attack familiar issues without offering anything in the way of an answer really get on my wick. Expect some great intellect like Gary Davies to play it and then say something uninspiring like 'A message we should all pay attention to'. No thanks. (Pat Thomas, No 1, January 31, 1987)

The Blow Monkeys - It Doesn't Have To Be This Way (RCA)

Dr Robert can barely be forgiven for desecrating the memory of "Brief Encounter" on father week's The Tube, and can be forgiven even less for soiling my ears with this Kid Creole-meets-the-Style Council-and-produces-the-aural-equivalent-of-rubber-coated-marshmallows. Go boil your brains, young man, and come back when you've stopped trying to be either Marc Bolan or a venerable Sixties soul legend (preferably deceased). (Nancy Culp, Record Mirror, January 31, 1987)

Very reminiscent of "Digging Your Scene" - and this is not a bad thing. The irrepressible and slightly weird Dr Robert has once again come up with the goods. Jaunty, jangly, jazzy and more besides. Slowly this group is carving a niche for itself. I reckon we best get used to them as they intend to be around for a while. (Pat Thomas, No 1, January 31, 1987)

Note: Prophetic words from Pat. Thirty years later, The Monkeys are still going strong.

Pete Wylie - Diamond Girl (MDM)

My copy of this record had a hole in it - and I don't mean in the middle. I should have tossed it aside in an indignant huff and refused to review it but in between the pops, skips and clicks there is a jolly good pop record. You just can't help but like Wylie and this is a very worthy follow up to "Sinful". I'm told the copies in the shops don't come with the second hole - perhaps I should hold onto this in case it becomes a collectors' item. 4/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, September 6, 1986)

"The fabulous Josie Jones" is actually Pete Wylie's ex-live-in-lover, and whether she's the one responsible for making this song a superbly jaunty piece of "rock" I don't really know, but anyway it's an excellent follow-up to "Sinful". Pete Wylie's wanted to be a pop star for years and now - presto! - he is one. (William Shaw, Smash Hits, September 24, 1986)

The Bible - Graceland (Chrysalis)

A duo who haven't so much burst up on the scene as they have crept up and said 'sorry to bother you'. This debut single is very sweet and a little bit catchy, unfortunately, there's hundreds of other singles around just like it, which doesn't auger well for its chances. 3/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Pet Shop Boys - Love Comes Quickly (Parlophone)

This has a good chorus and it's very catchy - a good follow-up to "West End Girls". I hope they have a crappy looking video again because I liked that - Jonathan King slagged it off as cheap and horrible, the most appalling video ever made, but I thought it was simple, straight to the point, and I really liked the moody guy in it. It's funny reviewing a single sung by someone who used to interview us - I should be getting my own back. The runner-up single of the fortnight, I suppose. (Dave Gahan [Depeche Mode], Smash Hits, February 26, 1986)

If this is the best they can do fame is going to go as quickly as love comes. A weak follow-up to a Number One single, this is high on Giorgio Moroder atmosphere, but has weedy vocals so soft you have to strain to hear the words. Suffice to say that if this had been their first single nobody would have made such an almighty effort to find out what the real meaning of the name Pet Shop Boys is. (Pat Thomas, No 1, March 1, 1986)

Eyes bright and tails wagging, the Pet Shop Boys trot away from the haunting mystery of "West End Girls" and produce a tender swirling epic topped with a delicate vocal refrain. Not as instant as "West End Girls", but very smooth and powerful. It's starting to occupy a bigger place in my heart than even Chaka Khan's "Ain't Nobody". Single Of The Week. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, March 1, 1986)

Huey Lewis And The News - Stuck With You (Chrysalis)

Oh dear. This is one of those jolly little records that breakfast TV will be featuring very soon on its 'send-us-your-favourite-wedding-snaps' slot. Something like this gets released at this time every year when people are coming back from their hols all tanned and relaxed and feeling lovey dovey. I fear this one will run and run. 3/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Samantha Fox - Hold On Tight (Jive)

Firstly, can I say that this review is in no way influenced by the death threats I received after reviewing Sammy's LP recently. OK, on with the review. Oh yeah, great. It doesn't sound a bit like Pinky and Perky meets Shakin' Stevens and don't you just love people who keep their talent up their T-shirts? Yeah, of course you do, don't we all? There, will that be OK? (Andy Strickland, Record Mirror, August 30, 1986)

Lamentable. Sam Fox wearing lace gloves, on a motorbike, singing a sort of naffo naffo "Crazy Little Thing Called Love". Perhaps the Frankie idea of canines on Kawasakis singing "Rage Hard" isn't so ludicrous after all. (Paul Simper, No 1, August 30, 1986)

A Sam Fox record without (brackets in the title)! I've always wanted to review one of her records, shame it had to be this one. After the brilliant heavy rock piss-take that was "Do Ya Do Ya Do Ya", this one falls a title flat (Are we talking about the same Sam Fox? - Ed). A standard country rockin' affair which leaves the listener in no doubt that whatever attributes Ms Fox might possess, a singing voice isn't one of them. (Pat Thomas, No 1, September 6, 1986)

Samantha, dear, dearest, sweetums. There is only one Shakin' Stevens and it is not you. Your attempt to try a spot of rock'n'roll here is little short of an absolute disgrace. Your voice is unpleasantly squeaky, and posing as a Bonnie Tyler motorcycle vixen on the record sleeve is not going to make things any better. I never ever want to hear this record again. (William Shaw, Smash Hits, September 24, 1986)

Ege Bam Yasi - Circumstances (Survival)

The cover of this single was so revolting that I just had to play it. And it just goes to show that you shouldn't judge a book or a record by its cover. I make this the week's most interesting pop single which means that you probably won't hear it on Radio One, because when was the last time they played anything interesting? 'E' for effort as they say. 4/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Prince And The Revolution - Girls And Boys (WEA)

If Morecambe and Wise ever lent their gifted gabble to a snake-charming sketch, "Girls And Boys" should undoubtedly have been the soundtrack. Utterly ludicrous swaying rhythm and a voice sounding like it's spent a sojourn in a cement-mixer. Scummier than coffee from the rm drinks machine and less sexed than a neutered ant. The purest tackerama on two legs comes good, again. (No innuendo intended - smutheads!) (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, August 16, 1986)

Yes, Prince is back on form after the disaster of his last single "Mountains". This is the third track from the Parade LP and it has lots of groovy sax, lots of mumbling in French, I think there's even a rude word or two. All in all a typical Prince outing. Good, but not special enough for anything other than sized chart success. 4/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Released in place of "Anotherloverholenyohead." The drums sound like someone banging a wooden spoon on an Addis flip-top bin turned upside down; the cymbals sound like someone tapping a Lucozade bottle with a penknife, and Prince sings things like "she had the cutest ass he'd ever seen" and it's totally brilliant. (Simon Hills, Smash Hits, August 13, 1986)

The Stranglers - Nice In Nice (Epic)

A rags to riches tale that bobs along with an alarming lack of dignity. The lads have had their moments of glittering glory - this ain't another to add to the roster. Either a piss-take or twee in the extreme. Return to suntanned senders and assign cold showers at random. (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, August 16, 1986)

'Nice', as in pleasant, opposite to nasty or horrid; 'Nice' as in v. chic city on the Cote D'Azur in the South of France. Clever, eh? This is quite a good song about a spoilt girl who's 'got diamond rings from her Dad.' I like Hugh Cornwell because he hisses when he sings and I'll always have a soft spot for The Stranglers because they once did a song, "Go Buddy Go", which went "Boooooooogie!" (Simon Hills, Smash Hits, August 13, 1986)

Oh dear. Another rich-girl-who's-going-to-break-all-the-boys-hearts saga. In the old days if some tarty rich girl had tried to break one of the Men in Black's hearts they would have broken her jaw and kicked her in the shins for good measure. These days they just sit there and take it. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. A dirge. 2/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Human League - Human (Virgin)

Hands up anyone who actually remembers the Human League. Sheffield's own were last gracing the charts in 1984 with 'Louise'. Then Phil Oakey went off to do things with Giorgio Moroder. Now they're back with this smoochy little number which at first isn't all that impressive. However for want of anything better to play we've given it quite a few listens here at No.1 and it does grow on you - honest. With time this could be a massive hit. 5/5 (Pat Thomas, No 1, August 16, 1986)

Long-awaited re-appearance of the Leaguesters, and I'm seemingly the sole objector at rm. What infiltrates the charts with unswerving regularity these days, they ponder? Mostly American, mostly medallion-sporting balladeers. Aw shucks, we can't fail. Exactly the girlie nonsense I consistently fall for, but not this time. As for that dumb blonde talkover twixt 'I'm only huuuman'... yeeuurrk! Limp, listless and resolutely installed in the subconscious. Mammoth hit. (Lesley O'Toole, Record Mirror, August 16, 1986)

Just about everybody in the Smash Hits' "office" tried to bully me into awarding this record the unparalleled accolade of Single Of The Fortnight. At first I agreed. After all, it is a beautifully crafted, warm and melodic tune. A perfect pop record, no less. It's also remarkably similar to many other songs by artistes like The SOS Band. Change. Alexander O'Neal and Cherelle who have all, together with "Human", been produced by the much in demand team of Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. There is one howlingly evident difference, though: Philip Oakey can't sing. The vocals on this single sound, as on all League records, fragile and unconfident. "I'm only human, born to make mistakes," sings Philip in his own unique flat style. Jam and Lewis actually turned down Lionel Richie to make this record and I would guess that as well as producing it, they arranged it, played all the instruments on it and probably wrote most of it as well. Pity they couldn't sing on it or get someone else in to do the job. (Simon Mills, Smash Hits. August 13, 1986)

Prince - Raspberry Beret (Warner)

The leader, and so far the only card carrying member of the new psychedelic revival is at it again. But if your first impression is to give this one a big raspberry, listen again.
This second single from the album that wasn't supposed to have any singles packs more punch than the last one. No instant appeal but could be a grower. (Pat Thomas, No 1, July 20, 1985)

The regal fruitcake returns with a chirpy tune about falling in love with someone who wears a beret. To my ears it's very much like the '60s-ish "Paisley Park", churning away to an addictive chorus in which Prince tells us about the said headgear. Of course paratroopers wear raspberry coloured berets, but I don't think we should jump to any conclusions there. (William Shaw, Smash Hits, July 17, 1985)

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Candyman (Wonderland)

Taken from the next album Tinderbox, this finds Siouxsie and Co back in classic form. It has all the eerieness and menace you could want and for once Siouxsie is actually singing (as opposed to intoning in key). All those hours with the vocal coach have finally paid off. Chalk up another Banshees hit. (Pat Thomas, No 1, March 1, 1986)

Grab a look at that cover. Did they get Paul King to model for it? Will Woolworths allow it into their chain stores? Actually there are very few things in my life more painful than having to listen to the vocal contortions of Souse. Very fast, very unpleasant. Enough said. (Robin Smith, Record Mirror, March 1, 1986)

Siouxsie's not a 'singer' like Aretha Franklin but she makes great use of what she's got and she always sounds exciting. She sings with a lot of sex - that's what I like. This is a great Banshees record. Obviously, they've got a bit of a 'formula' but I like their sound. I used to go and see them quite a lot when I was younger, when I was a punk rocker. Single Of The Fortnight. (Dave Gahan, Smash Hits, February 26, 1986)

The Armoury Show - Love In Anger (Parlophone)

[Richard] Jobson looks like Kermit the frog on the sleeve, which conceals a rather tender ballad. Shame the AS haven't done what they were capable of chart-wise, but then again, open-hearted angst isn't exactly commercial, is it? Very fine nevertheless, with its finger on my heartbeat definitely. Pardon me while I wallow.... (Nancy Culp, Record Mirror, January 31, 1987)

I've always had a soft spot for Richard Jobson - can't think why. Perhaps it's because he's a bit of a Renaissance man, writing books and poetry, acting and singing with a modicum of success. The Armoury Show have been on ice recently while their leader was off on some secret cultural mission to China (strange boy). Now they're back with quite a nice little debut for a new label. I don't know if it's strong enough to take them back into the charts, but you can expect to hear a lot from them this year. (Pat Thomas, No 1, January 31, 1987)