Averman/Stonewall Split

(Pushed Too Far)

Splits are always weird beasts as all too often one band comes out on top. However they're never the mixed bag that compilations to often tend to be.
This split features two different sides of the punk rock coin from the state of Virginia. Averman are a pop-punk band and Stonewall whereas Stonewall drive in from more of a hardcore direction.

The Averman side is four songs of chirpy poppy cheer. The band remind me of Horace Pinker in that utimately they're fairly forgettable and have fast drums that sound way too loud. At times, it sounds like the Averman drummer would be way more comfortable in a thrash metal band which just doesn't blend with the melodic vocals. But hey, I had the same problem with Lifetime and one of the songs is entitled "B-side to a Lifetime Cover Set" which is pretty much the way their sound leans.

Stonewall are by far the stronger the band. The band play heavy energetic hardcore with a very slight metal edge. It'd be unsurprising to find out that these guys are huge Gorilla Biscuits fans. Admittedly Stonewall aren't quite up to that level of appeal and the vocals are more of the shouted variety rather than half sung. The band only serve up three songs. Thankfully both the vocals and instruments come through clearly in the mix.

The ratings are separate because the bands are so different.

Averman 1.5/5

Click to listen.



Stonewall 3/5

Click to listen.



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Dry Rib

Dry Rib  “Whose Last Trickle 78-82”, 2008
(Hyped2Death)

Around twenty years back me a friend and I taped some songs using the lyrics of some of our favorite metal bands.  We played using an out of tune acoustic guitar and drumsticks hitting carpet plus my terrible vocals.  If I remember rightly we let my friend’s sister hear the tape before deciding we’d leave music to people who could actually play.  Three months of drumming lessons and no drum set with a guitar player who couldn’t play a note despite an obsession with alcohol and heavy metal doesn’t make for great listening.  We did what every incredibly untalented band should do, destroyed our recording and unofficially broke up within hours.   Dry Rib, it would seem, were slightly better than we were but not by much.   From what I gather, from the long-winded liner notes this disc is a collection of all DRY RIB’s recorded material from between 78 and 82.   They had a guitarist who can play a little and a drummer who seemed to be the talented by being the least musically annoying member of the band.  The first song, “Quail Seed” is a bouncy little number sounds like something that couldn’t quite make the cut for the “Urgh. A Music War” UK post-punk compilation album.

The rest just comes off as the worst of the stuff Flying Nun records were getting rave reviews about in both the NME and Forced Exposure a few years after the initial release of this material.  Chris Knox’s solo output would be the best comparison except for the fact that he actually has some worthwhile songs. It’s jangly indie music with a guitarist and vocalist, who can’t really carry a tune so they improvise.   There are fleeting moments where they get it right but it’s usually not in unison.

Imagine mad English punk poet JOHN COOPER CLARKE performing after swallowing a tube of sleeping pills and that’s what the vocals and lyrics of DRY RIB are like.  There are twenty songs worth of material but it’s the same endurance test that a lot of bands in my hometown in New Zealand offered when they played live.  See, I grew up in a student town and there were a lot of short-lived bands that also considered themselves clever doing this style.  This sort of stuff was generally lapped up and played by cardigan wearing arts degree students. Probably still is.   The local liquor selling music venues loved these types of bands because the audience would drink beer in hope that alcohol enhancement would make the band more enjoyable.  The worse that the band was, the higher the bar takings were.   DRY RIB probably sold quite a few breweries.  Re-releasing this material as EP’s would have been a better move on the record label’s part and also made for less unenjoyable listening.  As it is, this 20 song anthological yawnfest could be administered as an anesthetic.


1.5/5

Dry Rib site

Vampire Mooose - The Reel

Yet another band obviously boasting extreme stupidity when it comes spelling their own moniker. The extra "o" chosen perhaps because they've soaked themselves in nu-metal or they're pushing the boundaries and the English language deserves a beating once in a while. 


The band take on the listener with monotonous death grunts placed everywhere, chugging over PANTERA riffs, the whole done-to-death stop/start breakdown reigning supreme. These guys want you to know they're edgy: "Pot Pie" has a sample mentioning seventeen swear words (go ahead and take a random stab at what the first lyrics are). The song proves crossing KORN with death metal is as terrible in practice as it is in theory. A hamfisted NOMEANSNO and VICTIM'S FAMILTY jazz-punk guitar bridge swings in "Someone Kill Don Henley", but while those bands knew where to place their off-kilter explorations, it just doesn't work well for VAMPIRE MOOOSE as it's all too clear they're stretching beyond themselves. The TOOL worship of "Angra Manyu" is a square peg in a round hole, and "La Tumba" is a weakly-inked facsimile of the PANTERA song "Walk". The angry pig vocals may be different but this was obviously written in less than two minutes. I'd say credit the band for another daring move, but it won't pay off as we're ten songs in and I seriously doubt many will have the endurance to make it this far. 


While there are some amusing movie samples, the actual music on "The Reel" is a bigger patience-tester than waiting in a queue to see the latest blockbuster movie. But unlike enduring this nu-groove death metal borefest, buying tickets for a decent flick is typically a worthwhile experience. 
1/5




Band website