Roots and fruits

Into your hands

Ever Deeper Roots in Love
by Brother David Steindl-Rast

You, from whom we come
      And to whom we go,
      Unchanging love,
  You give us time for change and growth
      In this time of great change in my life,
  please, give me courage to change and grow
      and cheerfulness amidst growing-pain.
  Let me take ever deeper roots in love
  Make me faithful without clinging
  And let me remain faithful in letting go.
  Into your hands I lay my life
  And the lives of all whom I love.
      Amen. 

From Prayers for All People collected by Mary Ford-Grabowsky

One of my favorite Conference talks

"Your testimony of Christ, born of the Holy Ghost, can help you look past the disappointing endings in mortality and see the bright future that the Redeemer of the world has prepared.

We are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.

How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings." President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Mercy

Truman Madsen wrote,



“Our all is required. But our all isn’t enough. It must combine with His. Only He can lift us to the full reaches of our potential. Much of our secular society says, ‘Oh yes I can. I can do it my way.’ But that is disabling vanity. Even the slightest need for repentance requires Christ’s purifying power. And for those of us near despair who cry, ‘Oh no, even with Him I cannot go through with this,’ he replies, ‘I can lift. I will heal.’”
-----

Letting Christ increase in us means letting our ways and wants decrease. And no matter what hardship and pain we face... and it hurts...  may we trust that Jesus Christ knows it all and then some. And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. (Mark 14:35).

Change

Imagine

“A label is a mask life wears. We put labels on life all the time. "Right," "wrong," "success," "failure," "lucky," "unlucky," may be as limiting a way of seeing things as "diabetic," "epileptic," "manic-depressive," or even "invalid." Labeling sets up an expectation of life that is often so compelling we can no longer see things as they really are. This expectation often gives us a false sense of familiarity toward something that is really new and unprecedented. We are in relationship with our expectations and not with life itself.” ― Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal

Imagine a world where we all love ourselves as we are and love others for who they are in all moments with all their perfect imperfections. Imagine a world where there are no limits. Imagine a world where there is peace on earth.

Those who trust Him

Consider the Lilies

Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Consider the lilies of the field,
How they grow, how they grow.
Consider the birds in the sky,
How they fly, how they fly.

He clothes the lilies of the field.
He feeds the birds in the sky.
And He will feed those who trust Him,
And guide them with His eye.

Consider the sheep of His fold,
How they follow where He leads.
Though the path may wind across the mountains,
He knows the meadows where they feed.

He clothes the lilies of the field.
He feeds the birds in the sky,
And He will feed those who trust Him,
And guide them with His eye.

Consider the sweet, tender children
Who must suffer on this earth.
The pains of all of them He carried
From the day of His birth.

He clothes the lilies of the field,
He feeds the lambs in His fold,
And He will heal those who trust Him,
And make their hearts as gold.

He clothes the lilies of the field,
He feeds the lambs in His fold,
And He will heal those who trust Him,
And make their hearts as gold.

-----

I've for two or three weeks now been singing this song to myself. The ward choir has been practicing it all last month and sang it in Sacrament meeting last week, Easter Sunday. Putting this post together, I didn't know where I'd be going with the words exactly. Until I worked the process I always work when I post... I place a sentence, a phrase, in Google and touch Images, then lean my chin in my hand and scan. Eye, sort through, a plethora of pictures.

For this I first chose "Consider the lilies of the field." Eh, didn't so much love what did come up... lilies in a field, no less. Next, "And guide them with his eye." Interesting... maybe... and so on, phrase by phrase, as one or another struck me. Without just what I wanted showing up.

It's like that when I want to blog. I can start a bit directionless, gathering, gathering my thoughts and then an image or images to illustrate.

I inserted "And He will heal those who trust Him" in Google Search, touched Images and soon was reviewing thought-provoking pictures. I repeated the phrase to myself as I eyed these – this can effectually help decide what to save at last and bring onto the post, and where in the text to put it.

And He will heal those who trust Him...

I even was singing it, these pleading and reassuring lyrics at the chorus. Though... then I sort of stopped scanning the images and began a survey in my own self... He will heal those... my pain, these last six weeks plus. Whatever consultations I've held with whichever healers in this time. So literally did I look inside to wonder have I consulted with Christ about my neck and shoulder and arm pain? Would he look at me and listen? Take my hands? Lay His on my head? Remember he placed clay on the blind man's eyes, and spittle, and told Naaman to wash in the dirty Jordan to be healed... what might He say to me? Perhaps simply correct me for not coming sooner? Not trusting Him...?

Maybe He would just hold me.

Goodness how that changes things! I sure need to sort through the images in my own self here, not so much Google Search. I wish I could produce that very image in my head right now of being hugged by Jesus. Me! Preferably, me. But these'll have to do.

Consider the sweet, tender children...


Don't we all wish we could? Run to Him and be healed!

Sarah's here!

She flew in this morning and Laura picked her up at the airport. Luckily she's staying nearby so she unpacked and came to my house pretty soon after lunch. Mid-afternoon, Kaylee, her daughter whose BYU graduation Sarah and Glen are attending this weekend, bounced in from Provo. (Glen arrives on a later flight... mm, not here yet.)

Even later after we'd had supper including Chris who came here after work, her married daughter Adrienne, husband Scott, and eighteen month-old Emily walked in and upstairs to "come play." First time since Emily was born that Sarah's seen her own granddaughter! (Adrienne's expecting another this summer!)

I love watching Sarah enjoy her family at my house a little while, toys and all – it's been too long since she was right here doing this! Whah!... She looks like a million bucks and except for jet lag, yeah, says she feels great. She'll have a busy two weeks ahead. She not only has Kaylee's graduation from the Y, but Jamie's from the University of Arizona the first week in May. Glen'll be there too then. She's got a beautiful, amazing family... So glad you're here, sis! Love you!

Went walking

Went walking yesterday morning. A long, long way. High up. Exhilarating!

Deep

So, no... I checked on my Windows Media player and I don't. Have this album. No.

I definitely might have it tucked in a shoe box on one of my closet shelves; it goes way back. Deep. The album and the closet. But on my PC or any device, non. Niet. Nada. En ninguna parte.

So I bought this at Target when Kent and I went in for Market Pantry cinnamon applesauce please, my favorite, and a wedding card for one of my best friend's daughter's wedding this weekend. $5.00. Off the rack. (Who sells CDs anymore? And "The Carpenters?" Oh my gosh.)

Don't laugh! I'm  humming "Yesterday Once More" and "Top of the World" already, um, not the Japanese version from "The Parent Trap." Not that.

Love these kids!

Immovable in Christ

Ezra 9:8 And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the Lord our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage.

Isa. 22:23 And I will fasten him as a nail in a sure place; and he shall be for a glorious throne to his father’s house.

-----

"Each of us are constructing eternal souls—both body and spirit being molded, shaped, and built upon either secure foundations of the Lord’s righteousness or oppositely upon the shifting and shakable sands of Satan." Philip Allred

"Scriptures indicate that we can build our lives upon the Lord’s sure foundation by participating in the principles and ordinances of his gospel (Romans 5:4-5; 3 Nephi 11:38-40, 18:3-4; D&C 33:11-13). Possibly, in this way, the references to the Lord as a 'nail in the sure place' may be figuratively understood."

"Note that while the nail shall be 'removed, and be cut down, and fall,' the further insight from Isaiah is that 'the burden that was upon it shall be cut off' hinting at the atonement of the Savior whereby he took upon Himself the burden of our sin’s punishment—which He did bear completely and overcame completely; hence, the burden is no longer applicable, though his advocacy is eternal."

"In other words, by the way that Christ’s atonement opens up to us, we may become unshakable and immovable in a personal sense."



This entire article above on foundation imagery by Brother Allred (link) bears reading and re-reading. It to me wonderfully supports us becoming immovable in Christ! "Fastened," as it were – my word, and Isaiah's, first.

I've for a long time now paused at this very scripture in Ezra in the Old Testament, the words "nail in his holy place." To ponder the fastening of Christ on the cross; His willing posture, openness, in being hung as the offering, secured at the palm, but not only... the wrist. The nail in a sure place. Given to us (the scripture reads) as a little reviving in our bondage.

May we open ourselves so literally to be likewise secured... by Christ's atoning sacrifice in the Garden where he descended and descended; by His being lifted then and fastened upon the cross to give up His mortal life; and by His reclaiming life in the glorious Resurrection, power over the grave.

Me we be made immovable in Him.

Falls and all

Yesterday for my birthday Laura agreed to walk on the firebreak road with me starting above her house and going an hour north to the waterfall. I turned as we got above her neighborhood and snapped this.



Overcast, breezy, cool, sun just beginning to climb. Like us.



A path... I love seeing where a path leads. Sometimes I turn around and see where I've come from too.



This path horseshoes, bringing us by bridge at last over a small gully. A canyon.



Here's what I lollygagged on my hike doing... getting close ups of spring things!



Green everywhere! I could drink it... I did! I've been wanting for a month to get above the city - I call it getting "above my story" - to where a path like this - this path - leads. Into the wooded hills, even a gully. My "holy spot" (don't laugh, it's the coolest!) where water falls and flows. Coming!



Here mid-April though I'm disappointed not to see a bigger GUSH on the waterfall. Where's the water? Eh, on the mountain tops which're snow-capped still.

Maybe in May. Maybe in a month. We need sunshine a few weeks more. I'm rushing things.

But I'm not too disappointed. The sounds! Wow! And refrigerator temp! Cool on my red face from the climb in. The sweetness of familiarity here, right here on these rocks with my sister; memories of other years in other decades right here too. Laura and I sat on these very rocks this day and rested and cooled off and even got a little tear in our eyes thinking about treks in... other times here together and with families and friends. The good old days.



A last pic and we headed back. Wondrous place!



The gift I was given this morning by Laura was her time and companionship. Hiking here took well over an hour, part of it a stiff trek. She sure didn't have to. I used up her energy for the day I bet! (Yah, she's reporting today she was wiped out all day yesterday!) And scared her half to death - I fell; coming out of the waterfall area to the main path again, mincing my steps ahead of Laura in really steep downhill dirt and rock... I skidded and went down hard on my keister and the palms of my hands. Rolled and slid over embedded rock, scraping and mashing both knees, one elbow good and hard, that forearm, and my camera to boot, and bouncing one cheek in the dirt. I picked myself up and (except that I was stinging in five places and my heart was galloping) laughed (grimaced) at Laura's stricken face. I handed her my camera, wiping dirt from the lens, and said, here, take pictures of me (laughing), which she did and which (you'll thank me) I've not posted. Icky skin tears on my arm and knees, red, scraped palms, a walloping welt on my thigh rising like a goose egg and getting black and blue while we stared at it. She snapped pics of my bruises and tears and dirty shirt and capris and I just started singing, "Happy Birthday, to Me... happy birthday to me...!" Eh, we both walked out of there and an hour home grateful beyond words for the day, the hills and woods and water, a not-too-terrible accident, and each other's hand (and heart) to hold.

Isn't Laura gorgeous! I love you sis! Thank you for a fun morning!

Great trip

So I'm exactly a week behind reporting my mini-vacation to Arkansas. I left on the 11th and on the 12th Brady was baptized by his dad. The whole reason I flew on four planes in seventy-two hours or so with a stiff neck, to celebrate Brady's big day! I was glad, so, to see three of my kids, daughter-in-law Dana, and four grand kids while I was there. And friends, the Huffords, Allreds, and Fields and Dana's parents' whom I love, all.

The very day I flew in we went swimming in the pool at the hotel Jenny and I were staying at. Jenny and Erin and Abbie, Erin's oldest, had arrived in Bentonville one and two days earlier. Here I was straggling in at last. The three of us girls drove to Walmart to buy me a swim suit and Abbie some goggles, then we met Brad's and Dana's family at the hotel.

Happy, happy kid! Brady's always on.



I was so glad to rest at last in the hot tub after an active swim and play in the cold, cold pool. After getting up at 3:00 a.m. in Utah and flying in and out of two airports this day...  balm for my aching left side.



Garret.



Jillian.



Judy and Bob, Dana's parents, arrived today, driving two days from their home into Bentonville this afternoon. They weren't at the pool with us... Bob's recovering from his heart attack and stay in ICU for several days in March (amazed he even could make the trip so soon! yay!) and Judy was content to relax without all the noise me and my children and grandchildren make.

After the swimming Judy helped Jillian hang the wet towels on the line in the back yard. A gorgeous day!



Then that cute girl ran for the dirt pile. It's Brad's garden actually. Jenny took lots of pictures. Thanks!



I revived and played "pirates" with the boys. We steered the pirate ship using the kids' basketball hoop on the porch, gathered our "swords," and followed a map seeking treasure. Brady had it planned down to the actual treasure. Genius. Brad's out here too grilling chicken to go on Dana's strawberry-tortellini-chicken salad with Asiago cheese dressing for dinner, and Dana and her parents are getting that ready in the kitchen. Bob's probably not - he's probably resting on the couch. Jen's following us about picture-taking and Erin and Abbie are I bet lounging too. Yeah, we've played hard already.



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Next morning we dressed up and went to the church for Brady's baptism. Jenny and Erin and I sang "His Peace," I song I wrote a long time ago which the girls've grown up on practically, in the opening exercises of the meeting before Brady was brought to the font and baptized. There was a talk on baptism in that opening exercises, then the ordinance (big smile!) in the font off a small classroom, then I stood and gave a small talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost.

By now friends and family sitting in these chairs were getting sort of done... it's always like this... there was a couple of other speakers to go and the closing prayer and, happiest of all for the kids I think, refreshments at last! Cupcakes and cookies! I got hardly any great candids of the crowd enjoying the goodies but believe me, they were! Enjoying. I love this of Garrett... I think he's got a mouthful of cupcake. Always, uhm, with the eyes closed for pics - or wide, wide open.



Hi Brad and Jillian.



After, last ones in the hall.



And a final one.



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Whew! Out of the church parking lot intact and with good friends John and Shannon and their three little ones we drove to Ruby Tuesday's for lunch.



After naps, near dark, our same group converged on historic downtown Bentonville where stands the Walmart museum. Life history of Sam Walton and family, his five-n-dime store, and an ice cream parlor with old-timey prices. My two scoops were under $2.



Erin and Abbie - hi girls! Beauties.



With Garrett-Carrot.



Judy and Bob and Brady, Garrett and Jillian.



Here you are, Jen! Lovin' these kids, huh!



C'mon, Nana, they said. (Where's Abs?) Big-eyed Garret, always.



In the ice cream store. Fun, fun place. We all had scoops in waffle cones or milkshakes.



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My last day here: Sunday, at church right after Garrett gave his talk in Primary (that we all sat in the back of the Primary room and listened to). We slipped out then into the hall where Erin and Abbie and I had to hug and kiss everyone goodbye because we were driving out of Bentonville for the Tulsa airport. Even before church meetings were over.

Sad... I love this bunch so much! Miss you!



'Twas a great trip.

Never faileth

Crazy good

You'll think this is a crazy post. Puh, you'll think I'm off my rocker. A bit. I've been thinking about happy hormones: endorphins.

I'm remembering from our doctor chatting with us about endorphin receptors this aspect of my brain that craves stimulation. I imagine the receptors are "hands" in my brain with wagging, waving, fingers flagging these down... over here! Over here! Little happy faces on happy fingers.

Google "endorphin receptors" and, voilà, a queue of articles support what we all know: stress and pain trigger the release of endorphins which attach to these receptors and calm our emotions or dull the ache. Make us happy! Our bodies' pain killers these are, the feel-good drugs. Our good old hypothalmus keeps tabs on our central nervous system "commanding" the release of these whenever adjustments are needed. Like, in an instant. I'm curious, so I studied up to find out what other things authorize the release of happy hormones. From a couple of sources... (links)

• Exercise — The runner's high really exists, but you'll need to work for it. Heavy weightlifting or intense aerobic activity that includes periods of sprinting or increased exertion will trigger the greatest response. (So yeah, Laura and I get our first endorphin rush of the day walking hard. And there's always the bike for me. 1000 calories or bust.)
• Meditation or controlled-breathing exercises — Tai chi, Pilates and yoga are believed to trigger endorphins. (I've tried each, ohhmm... do like the results. )
• Chili peppers — Capsaicin, which puts the burn in chilies, triggers the body to release some fire-quenching endorphins. (I was just talking to Laura about this yesterday when we walked. Because I made peach adobo-chipotle barbecue sauce last month which lasted til this month and I've put it on my lunch most days and feel very happy after.)
• Bodywork — Both acupuncture and massage therapy trigger your inner drug dealer. (Been there, done that this month.)
• Ultraviolet light — Some users of tanning beds achieve something of a runner's high, and others (sad) may overuse them at the risk of their health. (I've never tried this. Just regular sunlight. Pure vitamin D. Yes.)
• Vanilla or lavender — Aromas lift a mood by influencing the production of endorphins. The scent of vanilla helps reduce anxiety which is often associated with depression.
• Laughter — Laughter's the best medicine! Yet we don't laugh enough... research shows it way helps lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, boost immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting cells, trigger endorphins, and produce well being.
• Chocolate — Dark chocolate provides protection against heart attacks and strokes. It reduces inflammation, lowers blood pressure, reduces 'bad' LDL cholesterol and boosts 'good' HDL cholesterol, and protects our arteries' health. Guess what? It prompts the release of endorphins. (Just had me a handful of Hershey's Special Dark chocolate chips. A dose a day for me.)
• Music — Listening to music you love triggers joy by unleashing feel-good brain chemicals.
• Finishing — If the hardest part of a project or task is starting, once you've done that don't let not finishing rob you of tremendous satisfaction. That sensation is akin to euphoria! 

Can I just say I know without having to study up that when we overeat or drink or take drugs as a way to satisfy stress or pain this really only numbs us. We "stuff" (or I do, I can, I've done it) stress and pain then (shockingly) still have a hole to fill: this we do with our food or addictions, pile it on. But we're depleted. Still unhappy and hurting. Overeating simply buries stress and pain – and that resurfaces in cycles that become life patterns and problems. Then whatever coping "indulgences" we use themselves become our dilemmas. I believe this.

Until our pain is dealt with once and for all, or is in process! A point not to be missed is that talking with a friend or mentor or counselor... confessing or explaining or declaring.... setting goals... provides a nice rush of endorphins to the brain's waiting "finger"tips. Really. And feeling good starts to happen along with the unburying.

What I love most about happy hormones is that they aren't addictive. Not too, too much of a good thing. Hooray! My brain can have all I want, right? Mm, calories in my tummy (where I think I'm always craving something good and that will fill me), not so much. Brain, crave away. I can't overdo! Endorphins do satisfy. Which I guess brings me full circle to why I'm looking for ideas, studying up on what moves' em. I'm ready to minimize stress already. Lighten up. Help myself feel good!
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Four hours later: Mmm, I'm back to this post after just now mixing together Cranberry-Cherry White Chocolate Chunk cookies and I must say there's nothing (oh my goodness gracious) like a bite of tart-salty-sweet-chocolaty cookie dough to get you feeling reeeeaaaallll good! :) At 4:00 in the afternoon. Okay, don't do it. Don't you dare.

... but haven't I posted it already? Never? Hmm.. I looked and looked on my blog but nope, guess not. Here it is.

CRANBERRY-CHERRY WHITE CHOCOLATE CHUNK COOKIES

http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2011/01/17/cranberry-white-chocolate-chip-cookies/

1¼ cups all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
½ cup light brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
1 egg
¼ (plus, if you like) tsp. cinnamon

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
2/3 cup white chocolate chips
2/3 cup dried cranberries (or, as you see by the title of this recipe, 1/3 cup cranberries and 1/3 cup dried cherries, snipped ohhh so good!)

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat; set aside.

2. In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; set aside.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and both sugars together until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. (Or for a chunkier more granular-sugar texture, don’t “butterscotch” like this; just mix briefly and add the rest of the ingredients and mix in kind of lump of ingredients…) Add the egg and the vanilla extract and cinnamon and mix until well combined. Reduce the mixer speed to low and gradually add the flour mixture, mixing until just incorporated. Using a rubber spatula, stir in the oats, the white chocolate chips and the dried cranberries.

4. Roll dough into balls - about 2 tablespoons of dough per cookie - and place on the prepared baking sheets. Flatten the tops slightly with your fingers. Bake until cookies turn slightly golden about 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool on the baking sheet for 2 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack until completely cool. Store in an airtight container at room temperature.

yield: 24 cookies (Recipe adapted from Two Peas and Their Pod)