Thursday last week, breakfast with some of the kids at IHOP. (Already it's too long ago ago and the days are blending together . . . but I'll try. ) Erin due in, flying from Minnesota; Brad due in, driving from Arkansas. Hung out at C & K's house til about 4:00, then C drove me to J's house in Rowlett. J is my niece. (Ex-niece.
Ugh, what a term.) When I allude to my ex's family, I'm talking about
family! We love each other. M's sister and brother are like sister and brother to
me. His sister, N, was my Young Women leader; taught me to wear my first make up and helped me get ready for my first formal dance. She's mentored me most of my young adult life as I've had the kids, and we've stayed in touch. S, M's brother, was my Seminary teacher for a couple of years. Went on his mission when I was pretty young, then came back to Texas where he married and had his first child, D - who I often babysat! Who along with all the others born in the years after 1970 to M's brother and sisters are my nieces and nephews, no matter that M and I have divorced. Who I am SO interested in, and whose own babies I adore. J (again, my niece) was born in 70 too, and I babysat her as often as I did D. You see these are my family: from their grandparents who were my in-laws, to their fathers and mothers who were my sisters and brothers-in-law and best friends, right to down to them, who are my children's cousins and the most wonderful, wonderful grownups and who have
house-fulls of beautiful, breathtaking children. Love S in Twin! S in Provo! C in Omaha and D in Keller; J in Rowlett, L in Castle Rock, A in (oh my goodness, Austin?) and T in San Antonio. B in (don't remember where she's ended up; kind of mobile), M in Meridian, T and J and Omaha. Love 'em like my own kids. They shine!
C took me to J's house where all the clamor was. About this hour of the afternoon N was returning there from the funeral home where she'd been with the guys as they did the work of dressing Grandad to prepare him for burial. I'm so happy two of my boys were able to help with it. I've seen it done in our families always; even I have helped dressing to prepare for the casket: M's grandmother when she died many years ago. I was in my twenties. Like I said, Brad was driving in during the afternoon and arrived only about dinner time, so Scott and Dan were the two able to participate with their uncle. Each has said it was amazing! I suggested to them that this act of service would change them. I think so. They think so too.
All the clamor was at J's house. Three generations, from under one year to upwards of 65. Family and friends. There has been food brought over, so the fridge and table were loaded. There's a park across the street from the house so the little kids were in and out. It's cooled off in Dallas the last couple of days and their cheeks were ruddy. I got to the house just after N and the guys arrived and were beginning to look through boxes of pictures and Granddad's journals. Erin had called Jen earlier and said her plane schedule was way off - she wouldn't be getting in until 9:30; S, M's brother, left to pick up his family and take them to Keller, miles and miles away, so the rest of us carpooled to Big Daddy's in Wiley, a barbecue pit. Brad drove in and met us there - a great reunion and a lot of work for the Big Daddy's crew.
Erin's plane arrived at 9:30, but her luggage didn't. The kids' bag did, but by midnight Jen had brought Erin from the airport to K's house (where I was hanging out talking, up late) luggage-less. We made plans for her to wear my clothes to the funeral in the morning, put on my make up, borrow contact lens solution from her cousin, then we put the kids to bed. And hit the sack.
Friday. We had to be at the funeral home about 8:30 to practice Amazing Grace. Some of us practiced it at J's house late last night, most of us. All but Erin. It sounds good. We decided Dan would sing the first verse solo then all of us on melody for the second verse, then two more verses in parts. It's for me an exceptional experience singing with my kids. We used to do it all the time, but that's gone away as we've grown up and moved out. Coming together is one thing.
Singing together is amazing. We got to the funeral home late, umph; not grumpy or out of sorts, thank heaven. The boys (in their own car coming from their hotel) were on time. The rest of us, not.
We stepped right into the viewing for the family, private and very moving. The funeral started at 10:30; relatively few other people, friends or public, came. It was expected, given that Dad's friends are all over the country. It's amazing that as much family assembled as has, coming from a handful of states. Jen was asked days ago to be one of the grandchildren standing to give memories of Grandad. She was last of four who spoke one after the other early in the program (and it was beautifully given), then our song. Oh, we were helped as we sang together! Dan started with the solo, a capella, and looking at the audience I saw tears. We joined in, sang the entire song a capella as we'd had a minute to practice; N said later that Dad would have loved it as it harks back to his Protestant days. Old time religion . . . we haven't been raised on Amazing Grace; only know it from listening to it, but it has come naturally to us as we know Grandad loved it and wanted it for this day.We were blessed as we sang and feel he heard us. The remainder of the funeral was stirring. More memories from additional grandchildren. (All these wonderful grown ups I talked about that used to be babies running under my feet with my own kids), then the Primary song
Families Can Be Together Forever by the grandchildren. They hadn't practiced, they didn't need to. They came to the front, fifteen adults, some with their hands and arms upon each other, all looking at us, knowing the song inside out and most all living it truly. "I have a family here on earth; they are so good to me. I want to share my life with them through all eternity. Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family - and the Lord has shown me how I can. The Lord has shown me how I can!" Some looked steadily forward while they sang. Some began to cry. Erin did. Brad soldiered through. Dan lifted his chin and closed his eyes and sang. Scott got through the first verse, then put his head down and wept. Jen kept going, looking above our heads at the EXIT sign at the back of the chapel. I cried listening. The kids' dad did. They couldn't look at us. We all adults wept, watching our children and thinking of Grandad and Grandma, our own lives, these children's lives, and their children's. "While I am in my early years, I'll prepare most carefully, so I can marry in God's temple for eternity! Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan. I always want to be with my own family - and the Lord has shown me how I can. The Lord has shown me how I can!"
The funeral ended a few minutes after with remarks by Bishop Villareal. Then we exited the funeral home, driving to the cemetery and spending the next about forty-five minutes near the gravesite. Afterward, in full sunshine and tired and hungry, we drove to J's church where lunch was waiting. It was heavenly! The children ran and played in the gym and we adults visited like we've never seen each, and never will again.
The rest of the day was as Thursday afternoon - all together at J's house. A jillion parked cars, kids in and out, people all over the living room resting or talking in groups or eating. About 5:00 N's husband whispered into her ear and she said to us all
I guess we're leaving to change clothes. Be back soon. They left. Her daughters jetted into action: this had been planned - a surprise 60th birthday party! Birthday decorations were brought out of hiding and taped to the walls. We all received party hats and whistles (blowers) (just what the little children needed to make the day perfect) and instructions about when and how to yell "surprise" when she came in. It was perfect, gangbusters, fireworks!!! She WAS surprised. She took a chair in the center of us, giving her husband a look like
well you got me! and became our birthday princess. She had the purple wish fairy (her best friend a little younger gotten up in purple gauzy wings and a boa) prancing around her granting her three wishes; then had a skit-dance-thing done for her by her four son-in-laws. The funniest thing you EVER saw in your whole life. I couldn't quit laughing. Then another friend went down on one knee to present her with his gift - a box labeled Fleet, to put it mildly. Hilarity, and she was the best sport ever. After all the days she's spent caring for her dad as he was dying, missing her birthday to boot, this made her feel like more than a princess. We ate cake, then half the crew left to pick up Whataburgers (the dads) while the other half (the moms) put the kids to bed, and we hung out more. I was beyond exhausted finally and Dana rescued me about 10:30, driving herself and me to our beds at our various houses. The others stayed til, well, tomorrow!
Saturday one whole family and even more had left for the airport. My family was intact; Erin's bags had been delivered during the funeral to the funeral home so she had accoutrements finally, and we dressed and got together for breakfast at Mimi's in Allen. C & K and their kids came, so the waitress managed 14. What a riot! Pictures (like there hasn't been enough, right?) and talking and children and food - the stuff of vacation. I said goodbye Brad and Dana who were driving right on home from there; don't know when I'll see them next. Dan drove his car with him and Scott and M to C & K's house and we watched football a while. Jenny and Erin went shopping with their cousins, and I took care of Noah, Erin's baby. Most of the day yesterday I chilled, watching the baby, saying goodbye to the kids one at a time, then going to bed about 10:30 after more heart talk with C. What a brother I have! Love him. Airplane to leave at 5:45 in the morning, Sunday.
Jen drove me at 3:30 a.m. from C & K's house (after hugs and kisses to everyone finally) and I flew away from Dallas.
A let-down day, is traveling home. I've written about it - it's part of the works. I've missed Kent awfully; loved, LOVED being with the kids, and felt a little out of my element and right at home, too. Strange. The trip home was uneventful except for the underground train at the Atlanta airport being out of service as I arrived and having to walk to Baggage Claim from Concourse C. Not stressing, not too far (thousands of feet, part of a mile or more), grateful to have my muscles on board and in gear, nothing hurting. Just everyone, EVERYONE who was off planes with me or trying to board them were underground too. Ah . . . stressing. Running. Worrying. Going slow and steady in front me when I needed to shoot the gap! A complete riot. Made it onto the 9:30 Groome shuttle after retrieving my bag (beat me to Baggage by a mile) and was home by about 11:15. SO so glad to be home and to Kent and out of public transit.
My bed! I'm in my own bed! Thank you C & K for the most wonderful guest room. Glad I roomed with Erin and Abbie and Noah three nights. And oh goodness, my own bed! Love it.
I've skipped a thousand things. I'm changed since going to Dallas. Since seeing my children laugh and cry, being with them. Singing with them. Bonding with the cousins and in-laws. Eating barbecue in Texas! Shopping with my sister-in-law, K and talking into the night, deep, with my good brother. It's way okay. Enough said.





