nonamedufus

I don't know. Unless this guy's hangin' with dufus? Go for it.

You know I always think of that Peter Sellers line whenever I check into a hotel. You know, as Inspector Clouseau? These days the counter personnel are far more helpful than the guy who helped him ("I thought you said your dog did not bite?" "That's not my dog."). And things are pretty competitive among hotel chains lately. Some offer a third night free if you stay for a previous two nights. Others, offer weekend packages with meals and events. There are some I'd like to explore. They offer golf packages...my latest passion. There used to be a time when hotels would offer a choice between smoking and non-smoking rooms. I always found this funny and in my mind would equate it with sex, for some reason. Remember that joke "Do you smoke after sex?" "I don't know. I've never looked?" Yeah, that's just how my mind works. Now of course all rooms are non-smoking. Which is probably a much safer way to have sex. On the weekend I came...

I should have known that a picture of a bunch of near-naked men would have brought the best out in you guys. I thought this was a very appropriate pic this week given the heat wave many of us have been suffering through. As my dear mother might have said about these guys "They couldn't catch their breath in short pants". We had a lot of funny captions this week. Let's get to 'em. They could have saved a lot of money. Instead of all those guys, one black dude could have displayed the whole damn collection. Skeeter You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby right right round round. Quirkyloon But the sign said Singles Night! Whitey Who needs latex when you have vinyl. Madge But our winner this week had me choking on my chimichanga! And that's not a euphemism. Although her caption sure got a rise out of me. "Hey look! We finally got Disqus!" 00dozo Way to go Double zero, that was an hilarious caption. All I could think of after readin...

Shocking news out there this week. Computers have replaced dogs as man's best friend. A recent poll by YouGov has discovered almost two thirds - or 67% - of us consider our computers as a more constant companion than a dog. How can this be? Does a computer come running when you say "Here, boy!" Does a computer run after a stick or a frisbee when you throw it? Does a computer hang it's head out the window when you take it for a ride in the car? Does a computer lick your face? Does a computer run aimlessly around in circles when you get it's leash to take it for a walk? If you said "yes" to any of the above questions then you're one sick puppy. A-ha! You see. "One sick PC" just doesn't work there does it. And what about some of the wonderful characters portrayed by dogs? Lassie, for example. Timmy could hardly say "I've fallen down a well. Go get help PC." Goofy, Precious Pup and Huckleberry Hound must be rolling in their do...

This must be illustrative of what Steve Tyler used to sing: She just loved my big ten inch Record of her favourite blues. Or, maybe not 'cause I think they're only seven inch records. Now that we're in the groove, drop the needle...or at least a caption. Who knows maybe we'll have someone new who can turn the tables (get it...turntable?) on our previous winners. We'll find out Saturday just who, ahem, measures up.

I suppose this should come as no surprise, given that most women have more clothes than they'll ever need, but the majority of women take too many clothes with them on holiday. Hey, you don't have to take my word for it. The facts are there in a recent study which found the average woman over-packs her holiday suitcase with 26 items she'll never wear. What is it with women and clothes? In our house my wife and I share a walk-in closet. Yet, I only get to use one-quarter of the space. And that doesn't include another bedroom closet packed with her "winter" clothes. And shoes. Mrs Dufus must be a distant cousin of Imelda Marcos. There are shoes in the bedroom closet, shoes in the front hall closet, shoes at the front door, shoes at the back door, shoes in the basement, shoes in the garage. I swear she must have a pair of shoes for every day of the year. Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating...a pair for every week of the year. Recently she told me she desperately nee...

A couple of administrative items before we get to the good stuff. First up, I was presented with an award this week. Ol Count Sneaky stopped by and dropped off his Bronze Award "...for whatever" because he liked my James Bond parody Dufus, Noname Dufus . Said Sneaky: James Bond apparently had no problems in the testosterone department, but most of us mere mortals do at one time or another, so it's vital that we call on our "sawbones" once a year for a prostate exam. Your take on this exam is hilarious and you deserve recognition for bringing it up, and none the least for making it funny. So, I'm awarding you the coveted(?) and rarely awarded(?) Count Sneaky Bronze Award For Whatever...Enjoy. My best. Well, thanks Count. That's deeply appreciated. The second item I'd like to share with you is I've started another blog. dufus daze - noname notions is meant to be a collection of opinions and observations. I may not always be funny over there, so ...

I've never really been what you'd call a hunk. Oh, maybe back in my high school and college days where I played sports in the former and was a poor starving student in the latter. Other than that I've always had a bit of a problem with my weight. My BMI (Body Mass Index) indicates I'm somewhat overweight but when I look around me and see many heavy-set people these days I like to think of myself as nowhere near what they look like. "Husky" I recall applying to myself as a kid. By today's standards I'd like to think of myself as pretty average. Not me - for demonstration purposes only. Now before you tell me denial's more than a river in Egypt, I'm not trying to deny my weight problem. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds. But, hey, it's not really my fault. Sure, yeah, yeah, my life is somewhat sedentary. Unless, I'm participating in my latest passion - golf - or have been dragged, kicking and screaming, out shopping with Mrs. Dufus ...

This looks like it wheely won't end well. But nevertheless, get yourself in gear. We'll cycle through the captions Saturday and choose our winner. Come back then and see who gets their big brake!

Is it safe to come out yet? Have those rug-rat Royals departed for the motherland? Has Kate and her fascinators and her fascinating hubby taken their leave? Yes I think the royal reprobates have retreated. The royal youngsters. I don't know why but Canadians from coast to coast to coast had the worst incontinence problem known to this nation. Young and old everywhere wet their pants, drooled and cried over the dynamic duo known affectionately as Will and Kate. On Saturday Kate left Canada behind. But I suppose we should count ourselves lucky we had the youngsters tour our nation rather than their grandfather. Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh , after all, would only have insulted us. Oh, yeah. Don't believe me? Let me give you a few examples. The recently turned 90 year-old has stuck his foot in his mouth more times than a pair of mating centipedes. The royal geezers. Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper rain a piece last week commemorating Prince Philip's 90th birthda...