TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - February 10, 1992 to March 13, 1992

Heaven’s in Here (Part Three)

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  Now awake, Michelangelo attacks Brik and Brak.  Nearby, Donatello bypasses the spaceship’s defenses and gains control.  He flies back and joins Michelangelo in the fight.  While battling the aliens, Ka'kfa observes Donatello protect the life of one of his roaches.  Ka'kfa orders his roaches to turn on the aliens.  Brik attempts to end the battle by releasing another bomb, but Michelangelo shoves the dropping back into Brik’s orifice, seriously wounding him.  Brak is forced to admit defeat and agrees to leave Earth alone.  Ka'kfa decides to repay Donatello’s kindness by ordering his roaches to eat the gunk that’s encased Leonardo and Raphael.  

We're Killing the Earth! :  Michelangelo gives Brik and Brak extra lumps for attempting to create more greenhouse gases.  Later, as the Turtles exit, Ka'kfa agrees that nothing’s more important than saving the only Earth we have.

Review in a Half-Shell:  Aside from the gross-out factor, there’s nothing here that wouldn’t be at home on the old Saturday Morning TMNT cartoon.  More annoying is the strip’s tendency to repeat story beats for no apparent reason, which is on full display in the final days of this arc.  (For some reason, we need to see Mike throw Brik’s “stink bomb” back into his head-anus three days in a row.)  The cartoon at least had some level of irony in its strongest episodes; this storyline is extraordinarily sincere and lacking even one decent joke.  The Turtles fight some gross aliens and then the Cockroach King decides that he’s going to side with the Earth after all.  You should, too.  Now go recycle, you brats.  

That’s right, I’m outraged that this piece of children’s entertainment holds no value to me as an adult.  Seriously, I do realize that I’m far from the target audience for the strip, but the previous chapters showed a willingness to experiment with the format and to explore some of the deeper questions inherent in the TMNT concept.  I had some hope that the strip could truly be “all ages.”  This series of strips is a simplified version of material that we’ve already seen in the Archie book, and it wasn’t so fantastic the first time around.  But, hey, it does provide basic Turtles action for kids, and maybe Ka'kfa’s character arc meant something to a nine-year-old reading his parents’ copy of the paper while eating his box of Urkel-Os Sweetened Cereal.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - December 30, 1991 to February 7, 1992

Heaven’s in Here (Part Two)

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  The Turtles fight Brik and Brak, but are unprepared for the aliens’ viscous discharge.  Donatello escapes capture and races to get help.  He discovers Brik and Brak’s spaceship.  Once Donatello enters, he sets off the ship’s security alarm.  Meanwhile, Brik and Brak discuss with Ka'kfa their plan to destroy Wall Street and then consume the Earth’s tropical forests.  Ka'kfa summons his army of cockroaches from throughout the city.  They climb over Michelangelo’s captive body, tickling him.

Continuity Notes:  In the Adventures series, Scul and Bean release “stink bombs.”  In the strip, Brik and Brak release similar substances, but here, the bombs release a fluid that holds the Turtles captive.  If that also happened in the Adventures series, I’ve mercifully erased the memory.

Review in a Half-Shell:  The second storyline turns out to be a much shorter, much more straightforward adventure tale, losing all of the interesting elements from the first arc.  It’s the Turtles versus the gross aliens and the nasty cockroach monster, and while I’m sure most kids were anxious for a fight scene, this format doesn’t lend itself to action, and it’s hard to find a reason to care about any of this.  Presumably, the sermons about man’s destruction of the environment were supposed to add some depth to the story, but it’s tired material for anyone who’s already read Clarrain/Murphy’s previous work.  (Or any other piece of kids’ entertainment from the early ‘90s, since environmentalism was the cause every franchise latched onto in order to justify its pro-social value.  Troma even tried to launch the Toxic Avenger as a kids’ property using environmentalism as the hook.)  There’s also this business about Wall Street that doesn’t seem to serve any real point.  Clearly, the aliens don’t need to attack Wall Street in order to go forward with their plan of eating up the rainforests, so either we’re supposed to laugh at their naïve plan or just accept it as a part of the writer’s political statement.  Either way, I doubt it was a plot thread that had any appeal to kids.  Younger readers probably were entertained by the gross-out elements of the strips, though.  Brik and Brak have absolutely disgusting powers; powers so foul, it’s kind of amazing they made it to print in an era when people were scandalized by fart jokes in Disney movies.  The Archie series made sure not to color the “stink bombs” any color that resembled human feces, but in the black and white strip, the reader is free to imagine just what color the discharge is supposed to be.  And, really, what other color are you going to think of?  Also, the Turtles are covered in this stuff for many of these strips.  Did Pogo ever use roach armies and alien feces to make a point about the environment?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - November 18, 1991 to December 27, 1991

Heaven’s in Here

Credits:  Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  The aliens Brik and Brak arrive on Earth, their spaceship disguised inside a meteorite.  They crash into the Hudson River and travel inside the Sub-City to find Ka'kfa the Cockroach King.  The Turtles, suspicious of where the meteorite has landed, investigate and soon come across Brik and Brak’s meeting with Ka'kfa.  Ka'kfa explains that money is more powerful than humans, and if Brik and Brak want power, they must attack Wall Street.  Brik and Brak offer Ka'kfa alien worlds to infest with his children if he aids their invasion.  Overhead, Michelangelo is bitten by a roach.  When he screams, the Turtles are exposed.

Continuity Notes:  

• Brik and Brak appear to be the same characters Bean and Scul from the Archie Adventures series.  Why they have been renamed, I don’t know.  Bean and Scul debuted in the Adventures series not long before these strips were published.  Perhaps Brik and Brak are intended to be different members of the same alien species.
• Ka'kfa the Cockroach King seems to be a strange combination of Maligna and the Rat King.
• Sub-City is the deepest level of the sewers, previously seen in the comic strip’s first arc.

Pizza References:  Picking up where the first arc left off, the Turtles are eating pizza with April O’Neil when the story opens.  Michelangelo wants more “jelly bean and broccli ‘za.”

We’re Killing the Earth! :  Much like Scul and Bean, most of Brik and Brak’s dialogue consists of them commenting on how polluted and “stinky” our planet is.  In the opening strips, they enter Earth through the hole in the ozone layer.

I Love the ’90s:  April tells the Turtles she’s taking some time off before covering the 1992 presidential race.

Review in a Half-Shell:  It’s the alternate version of Bean and Scul, and unless you’re obsessed with TMNT continuity minutia, there isn’t a whole lot of interest here.  Bean and Scul were only memorable for their utterly disgusting power -- they literally defecate stink bombs out of their heads, a stunt that Brik and Brak haven’t pulled yet.  I actually like Ka'kfa the Cockroach King; his dialogue is amusing and his design is pretty outrageous by the standards of daily comic strips.  The idea that he’s joining with Brik and Brak in order to find intergalactic apartment complexes to infest is lovely.  But, geez, Clarrain/Murphy is still under the delusion that having a character comment on the environment is somehow inherently interesting as a story, and he’s just wrong.  If we’re going to be bringing in characters from the Adventures series, why not Cudley the Cowlick, or the Intergalactic Wrestling Federation?  Why not entertain kids instead of constantly preaching at them?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - August 29, 1991 to November 15, 1991

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  Splinter has the Turtles confiscate the laser rifles from Space-Time-Wana’s employees.  After the men exit through the cave, the Turtles use their laser rifles to cause a cave-in that will prevent anyone from returning.  The skeleton emerges, offering the Turtles another raft.  They travel across the ocean and eventually rest on a beach.  A fish-woman arises from the water, near death.  Splinter tries to save her, but his CPR efforts are misinterpreted by her fellow fish-men as an attack.  The Turtles fend off the fish-men while Splinter is drawn into the female’s consciousness.  He witnesses the destruction of her species as the fish-woman takes her final breath.  The fish-men take her body and leave peacefully, overwhelmed with the knowledge that their last female has died.  The Turtles sail away and finally reach Manhattan.  They swim back to their sewer lair and discover April is waiting for them, eager to hear their story.

Pizza References:  Michelangelo won’t tell April the story of their adventure until he’s ordered a few pizzas.

What the Shell?:  The Turtles have amazingly never heard of CPR.  Splinter remarks that it’s a lesson he should’ve taught them.

We're Killing the Earth! :  Splinter refuses to allow “men nor their corporations to exploit this world as they have their own.”  When he orders the Turtles to dissemble the laser rifles and scatter the parts, Michelangelo questions if they’ve inadvertently become the lost world’s first litterers.  Finally, Splinter's mind-meld with the fish-woman provides a treatise on the devastation of the environment, which has ultimately killed her race.

I Love the '90s:  The Turtles refer to the skeleton ferryman as “Bone Loc,” which is a joke Clarrain/Murphy once used for a different skeleton character in the Adventures series.

Review in a Half-Shell:  The comic strip’s initial storyline finally draws to a close, almost a year after it began.  The closing chapters choose not to explain everything away, which means the mechanics of how exactly the Turtles traveled to these various locations and the story behind “Bone Loc” remain unrevealed.  Clarrain/Murphy was clearly going for surrealism for much of this storyline, so it’s not a huge shock that we’re not getting a logical explanation for everything that’s happened, but it does seem like an odd choice for a mainstream audience newspaper strip.  While this kind of thing normally bothers me, the overall mood of the story helps to sell the idea that this is an adventure that didn’t need the typical comic book rationalizations for every crazy idea.

The final section of story is burdened by even more heavy-handed environmental sermons, to the point that a new race of anthropomorphs is introduced solely to tell the audience that we’ve already killed them with our horrible modern lifestyle.  It’s hard not roll your eyes at this stuff, but I have to say that the fish-people story features some of Murphy and Lawson’s finest work in the strip so far.  While Lawson’s “friendly” Turtles still look off, his fish-people are appropriately freaky and weird.  The way he plays with the normally restrictive form of a newspaper strip during Splinter’s journey inside the fish-lady’s mind is fantastic, and Murphy deserves some credit for the trippy narrative sequence.  Yes, it’s preachy, but it’s preachy in a creative way, which makes it more forgivable.  

The discovery that the fish-people are doomed to a quick extinction hits the Turtles hard; as Splinter points out, only four of their race remains, “just like my sons.”  Raphael begins to question his own mortality, reflecting on the ultimate futility of a race that can’t reproduce.  The newspaper strip is the last place I would’ve expected to find an examination of the loneliness of the Turtles’ lives…they can’t mate, can’t carry on a legacy, and have no family outside their own tiny circle.  And there’s no pat resolution to this, either.  Raphael lives with the pain and has no real answer on why he should carry on.  Now, all of this is explored in very tiny panels that are doled out on a daily basis, and the strip doesn’t dwell on the melancholy for long before it’s back to its next “Cowabunga!” and pizza reference, but it’s still a brave choice for the creators to make.  The bizarre, sudden shifts the all-ages Turtles could make are always fascinating to me, and are a major reason why I think this era of TMNT shouldn’t be so quickly dismissed.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - May 23, 1991 to August 28, 1991

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  When King Gorrrge asks the Turtles if they have any final requests, Donatello asks to wear his crown.  He complies, then leaves with the rest of the Grrrufs to find a new land.  Pumarro releases a call to his fellow Qats, who arrive and save the Turtles.  Donatello reveals that King Gorrrge’s crown contains seeds that could be used to grow more Gaea trees.  The Turtles depart Tresmundo on the skeleton’s boat, which has suddenly returned.  They arrive in another strange land, this one populated by dinosaurs.  The dinosaurs are under attack by armored men with laser rifles.  Michelangelo is injured by a laser blast and taken away by a Parasaurolophus.  While he recovers, the Turtles take one of the armored men captive.  He reveals that he’s a “conceptual product scout” for Space-Time-Wana, Inc.  According to him, they discovered an entrance to this world through a cave in Africa.  Raphael wants to find the cave and return to modern Earth, but Splinter is adamant that they can’t leave the dinosaurs to be exploited by man.

Continuity Notes:  

• The Parasaurolophus communicates to Michelangelo in his dreams, telling him that this group of dinosaurs escaped extinction by hiding inside this “world within a world.”  
• Space-Time-Wana, Inc. is described as a “multi-media, multi-national” corporation.  So, you know, of course they’re evil.

Pizza References:  While being burned at the stake, Michelangelo’s last request is for pizza.

We're Killing the Earth! :  The Parasaurolophus’s story about meteorites killing the dinosaurs reminds Michelangelo about the holes in the ozone layer.

Review in a Half-Shell:  Picking up from the last strip’s cliffhanger, the Turtles banter with King Gorrrge for a few days before Clarrain/Murphy gets around to their inevitable escape.  Having Pumarro call for help might seem anticlimactic, but I actually think these strips do a credible job of wrapping up this segment of the storyline.  It makes sense that Pumarro would wait until the Grrrufs have left before calling for reinforcements (since they appeared pretty outmatched during their last fight), and that bit about a last request is quite clever.  It leads to a few decent jokes, fleshes King Gorrrge out a tad, and provides an indirect resolution to the Qats’ problem.  I initially thought the request to receive the crown was about Donatello finding some way to become “king for a day” and cancel their own execution, but Clarrain/Murphy was actually smarter than that.  It’s a nice demonstration of Donatello’s intelligence, and his faith in his brothers that they’ll find a way to escape and help the Qats.  The resolution’s also less depressing than Murphy’s typical environmental messages, which are usually so bleak they defeat whatever point he’s trying to make.

Moving on to the dinosaur arc…well, it has dinosaurs in it.  I guess kids liked that.  I get the basic concept of having the Turtles face a prehistoric and futuristic threat simultaneously, but Jim Lawson’s art suits only the dinosaurs.  Those armored corporate warriors just look like kids cosplaying as something out of bad ‘70s sci-fi.  I can’t even tell if the “conceptual product scouts” are wearing pants or not; it looks as if they have Marge Simpson’s dress on, complimented by an old Battlestar Galactica Cylon helmet.  (I assume Lawson draws them so short in order to have them fit into the same panel with the four-foot tall Turtles, but it does no favors for the already shaky design.)  The story so far consists of Clarrain/Murphy’s typical anti-corporation, pro-environment soapboxing and at this point there isn’t a lot to redeem it.  I will say that the potential conflict between Raphael and Splinter is intriguing, since both characters have reasons within the story for their respective stance.  Splinter understandably wants to save the dinosaurs, but ultimately, I can’t blame Raphael for pursuing what could be their only way home.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - March 14, 1991 to May 22, 1991

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  The Turtles discover that the glowing tree Gaea is Tresmundo’s last remaining tree, and the Qats and Grrrufs both claim ownership.  The Turtles befriend a Qat named Pumarro and protect him from the Grrrufs, who have devastated the forest and now demand the remaining tree.  The light inside the glowing tree suddenly gives out, angering the Grrrufs.  Qat is kidnapped, along with Splinter and the Turtles, by the Grrrufs’ reinforcements.  King Gorrrge of the Grrrufs declares that the six of them must pay for extinguishing the tree by becoming fuel.  They’re tied to stakes and surrounded by fire.

Continuity Notes:  The location of this story is revealed as the land of Tresmundo   Not surprisingly, the Qats are anthropomorphic cat-people and the Grrrufs are anthropomorphic dog-people.  It seems that the newspaper strip is their only appearance.  What a shame that the children of the world never had an opportunity to bug their parents for Pumarro and King Gorrrge action figures for Christmas.  

I Love the '90s:  King Gorrrge says that without the light from the tree, there is only “now a thousand points of blight.”  This is a reference to a phrase used in more than one speech by President George H. W. Bush.  

Review in a Half-Shell:  A pretty weak batch of strips, to be honest.  Clarrain/Murphy is doing his predictable spiel about disrespecting our precious mother Gaea, and the evil Grrrufs have no motivation outside of pure greed.  Even if you’re not exhausted with the writer’s pet themes, it’s hard not to notice that the daily continuity becomes extremely awkward during these weeks.  The sequence that has Pumarro approaching the tree seems to drag on forever, with the Turtles repeating the same dialogue day after day as Pumarro moves like a snail towards this stupid glowing tree.  The fight scene with the Grrrufs is also remarkably tepid, even by the standards of a daily “action” strip.  Jim Lawson’s still around for this entire run, which means that the Qat and Grrruf designs look like something out of an early ‘80s B&W indie, but by no means resemble the cartooning I associate with the mass-merchandised TMNT franchise.  If Ken Mitchroney could’ve drawn any of these strips, it should’ve been this run.  I will say that Lawson occasionally seems to be enjoying himself.  I like the way he plays around with the standard three-panel newspaper format, incorporating the panel designs into the lettering during the Grrruf’s debut, and transforming the panel borders into prison bars when the heroes are incarcerated.  Any break from this tedium is appreciated.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - January 23, 1991 to March 13, 1991

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  While evading the alligators in the dark, Donatello pulls a mysterious plug, which flushes the Turtles down a massive drain.  They land in a body of water and discover their only option to escape is a skeleton ferryman.  They reluctantly take a ride in his boat, but are incensed when he demands the Turtles hand over a baby alligator that Michelangelo’s befriended.  They fight the unusually agile skeleton until Splinter suddenly appears.  He explains that the skeleton only wants to take the alligator home and chastises the Turtles for turning to violence so quickly.  The Turtles realize that the skeleton brought them to a desert, and to their surprise, Splinter has no answers.  They march through the mysterious desert until they come across a glowing tree.

Pizza References:  The Turtles wonder if they’ve eaten bad pizza after meeting the skeleton ferryman.  Later in the desert, Splinter reveals that he’s brought along freeze-dried pizza.

I Was Not Aware of That:  Alligators have only recently been taken off the endangered species list, as of the publication of these strips.

I Love the '90s:  The skeleton ferryman is wearing a sash that reads “1991.”

Review in a Half-Shell:  The dreamlike quality of Stephen Murphy’s TMNT Adventures issues makes its way into the strip.  The basic plot does seem a bit unambitious, essentially the Turtles are wandering from one vaguely defined location to another, but Clarrain/Murphy works in some respectable character work and the overall surrealism is entertaining.  The strip seems to alternate between adventure and gag-a-day material, which I suppose is appropriate for the target audience.  Throwing in the occasional corny joke probably helps to alleviate a bit of the weirdness, making the strip more palatable to newspaper editors.  Some of the jokes are utterly flat, however, and I can’t imagine how anyone was entertained with the strip that consists entirely of Splinter and the Turtles discussing their favorite pizza toppings.  Still, the material is usually engaging enough to keep me reading until the next day, and I appreciate the fact that Clarrain/Murphy isn’t doing cartoon retreads. The Turtles on a mystical journey that takes them from the sewers to Charon’s boat to a mystery desert is inherently more interesting than the stock formula of a random animal becoming mutated and the Turtles arriving to stop it.

This is a lengthy run of strips featuring uninterrupted Jim Lawson pencils, although it seems as if Lawson is getting a bit of the ‘70s Jack Kirby Superman treatment here.  Some of these Turtle faces look way too cute to be Lawson’s work, even though the anatomy and backgrounds are clearly his.   Either Lawson made a conscious effort to conform to the mass-merchandised look, or else someone looked at his art and decided it had to be made on-model.  Either way, the final result is just awkward.  I have to give Lawson credit for his New Year’s skeleton character, though.  The Turtles’ battle with “Bonehead” is appropriately weird, and I admire Lawson’s willingness to render a skeleton that has a bit more grit than something you’d see in a Garfield Halloween special.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - December 10, 1990 to January 22, 1991

Credits:  Dean Clarrain (writer), Dan Berger, Jim Lawson, Michael Dooney, &  Ryan Brown (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  While patrolling the sewers, Raphael comes across a woman with a small child.  Raphael rescues her doll after she drops it.  The rest of the Turtles arrive and share a pizza.  They discuss Splinter, who’s been missing for two weeks.  They follow the trail of the mystery woman and discover she’s a part of a homeless community.  Raphael returns the girl’s doll and the Turtles learn that Splinter regularly visits the group to provide holistic medical treatments.  The group says Splinter left days ago for a deeper level of the sewers, “The Falls.”  The Turtles follow his trail, but are forced to flee an infestation of rats.  After escaping the rodents, they run into a dark area of the sewers populated by alligators.

Continuity Notes:  The opening week of the strip has Splinter recounting the Turtles’ origin.  It’s the cartoon’s origin, the same one used in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures series.

Pizza References:  The Turtles seem obligated to mention pizza at least twice a week.  Michelangelo wonders how large a pizza the turtle in the Hindus’ creation story could “scarf down.”  Later, Michelangelo brings a pizza he got for free (“free with eight or more items”).  The pizza is Raphael’s favorite:  whole wheat, double cheese with onions, mushrooms, peppers, pepperoni, rhubarb, kiwi fruit, fried clams, and peanut butter cups.  Later still, while searching for Splinter, Michelangelo begins fantasizing about pizza, which makes the other Turtles hungry/angry.

Review in a Half-Shell:  I promise I wasn’t cutting Ninja Turtle comic strips out of the newspaper and saving them in a scrapbook.  Had I known the newspaper strip existed, I’m sure I would’ve read it as a kid, but I wasn’t quite that obsessive.  Scans of the strip do float around the internet, however, and I thought it might be entertaining to look back on them for a few days.

The newspaper strip, distributed by Creators Syndicate during the height of Turtlemania, features many of the creators you might remember from Archie’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures.  Stephen Murphy, writing under his pen name Dean Clarrain, is here, along with artists like Dan Berger and Jim Lawson.  The tone is noticeably kid-friendly in the opening weeks, although some of Murphy’s pet themes have already appeared.  Not the environmental activism, although Murphy’s revelation that the Turtles share the sewers with New York’s homeless does read like one of his attempts to present a real life issue to a kid audience.  Instead, it’s the recurring theme of creation stories, as Splinter finds a way to incorporate both North American Indian and Hindu beliefs into the Turtles’ origin story, on the basis that both believed a giant turtle held the world aloft.  Some of Murphy’s quirks grow old quickly, but I kind of like these little touches.  I’m not quite sure why Murphy is so interested in various creation beliefs, but it does add some personality to his stories, and I can’t think of any instances of it truly distracting from the real stars of the story.

I’m not going to pretend that I have a deep affection for daily action strips.  I’ve never come across one I wanted to follow on a regular basis, and only read the Spider-Man strip because it’s reprinted in chunks in Comic News Weekly.  The pacing of most action strips seems outrageously slow, presumably because the creators don’t know how many chapters a week the average reader is exposed to, so information is constantly repeated and the action is always stalled.  (Also, how much continuity can be advanced in three panels anyway?)  I have to say that Murphy’s pacing is pretty ambitious by the standards of the format, and so far, he rarely seems to be killing time.  The opening week is arguably filler, but I think opening with an origin story is a defensible decision.  Murphy actually moves too fast once he begins the initial story arc, or at the very least gives the reader a clumsy introduction to the story.  Over pizza, the Turtles casually mention that Splinter’s been gone for two weeks, and hey, maybe it’s time to go looking for him.  Having the Turtles search for Splinter is a standard TMNT storytelling trope, but…where is this coming from?  Splinter was last seen, literally, two weeks ago recounting the Turtles’ origin, but it’s not as if the strip itself reads as if any time has passed between the opening recap and the start of Raphael’s patrol in the sewers.  And why exactly are the Turtles waiting so long to go look for their sensei?

Much like the Adventures comic, the art in the strip is all over the place.  Most of these artists do the standard “friendly” Turtles of the era quite well, but that flow’s broken anytime a Jim Lawson strip pops up.  To be fair, Lawson’s real talent lies in drawing the original Turtle designs, not the kiddie ones, so it’s not as if he’s a random nobody who ended up doing TMNT work.  His style doesn’t seem compatible with the curvy, cute merchandised Turtles, however, and it’s glaringly obvious every time one of his Turtles appears.  I believe Lawson did draw one of the best strips in this batch, and it’s one that doesn’t feature the Turtles.  Instead, it’s a creepy image of a sewer rat escaping the approaching shadow of Raphael, and while it lacks much continuity significance, I bet it stood out that day on the funny pages.  (My favorite Adventures penciler, Ken Mitchroney, doesn’t seem to be one of the artists listed online for the strip, but some of these panels look very much like his work.)  

So far, Murphy and the artists seem to be having fun with the format. The humor, for the most part, isn’t too goofy and the stakes seem to be suitable for an action strip that has to please kids. Amazingly, the strips involving sewer rats don't lead to an appearance by the Rat King, but I guess the strip wasn't under any obligation to help sell Playmates toys.  

The creators break up the monotony every few days with some experimentation with the form, whether it be an “all darkness” strip (with only cartoon eyes visible), or a one-panel strip that forces the reader to dwell on a specific image.  New Year's Day 1991 is acknowledged with one of the one-panel strips. And the cartoony Turtles accidentally stumbling across a solemn gathering of the local homeless, with only an awkward “Umm…Happy New Year..?” for dialogue really is one memorable New Year's strip.  I doubt that’s how the Family Circus rang in 1991.

TMNT Adventures #24 – September 1991

Gimme Danger!

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Garret Ho & Jim Lawson (pencils), Brian Thomas & Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Before Krang and the others can return to Earth, their spaceship completes its auto-pilot course and lands on an “Edenworld” planet. After the ship drops off its delivery of deer, Krang is shocked to discover that this planet is the one Bebop and Rocksteady were exiled to months earlier. The very naked Bebop and Rocksteady are bored with paradise and want to commit crimes again. They leave the planet, as the Turtles continue their search for Shredder in the New York sewers. They discover one of his hidden bases, just as Jim Lawson shows up to finish the issue.

Their fight is interrupted when Krang’s ship crashes in. The Turtles now face Slash, Bebop, and Rocksteady.

Once it’s pointed out to Bebop and Rocksteady that they’re only wearing fig leaves, they suddenly develop shame and leave. Krang and Bellybomb join Shredder for a conference while the Turtles are busy fighting Slash. Krang suggests they reunite in the spirit of “togetherness,” which leads to this shocking ending…

Review in a Half-Shell: This is a nice example of what I always liked about this title - crazy characters, action, humor, slow-burning storylines, and ridiculous cliffhangers. It’s too bad that Garret Ho’s very fluid cartooning is suddenly replaced by an awkward Jim Lawson job, though.

It Started in…Chinatown

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Mark Pacella (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

In this April O’Neil backup story, April runs into Chu Hsi and Fu Sheng (the owner of the curio shop from #20) in Chinatown. When Fu Sheng is suddenly kidnapped by a group of ninjas, Chu Hsi transforms into the Warrior Dragon.

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s only a six-page story, so there’s not a lot to say. I seem to recall finding the April backup stories pretty dull as a kid, so I’m not sure where this is heading.

What the Shell? : There are three pages of letters in this issue, and most of them are gems. We’re in the middle of a “boys vs. girls” fight in the letters page (one writer brags about her friend named “CLAWS” who once “slashed one boy’s neck open with his fingernails when he wouldn’t leave her alone”), which started when a fan opined that a female Turtle would more interested in checking her mascara than fighting. There are also some letters personally addressed to the Turtles, one addressed to Shredder that asks him to stop being so mean, and an editorial response that confirms that the Turtles are fans of Public Enemy and the Jungle Brothers.

LINK: With this issue, Mike Sterling learns that this series can be a little odd.

TMNT MEET ARCHIE – Spring 1991

Green Legs & Gams

Credits: Ryan Brown & Dean Clarrain (plot), Dean Clarrain (script), Ken Mitchroney & Stan Goldberg (pencils), Ryan Brown & Rudy Lapick (inks), Mary Kelleher (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

It had to happen…the Turtles meet Archie. Plus, Josie and the Pussycats (but not Sabrina). The story begins as Cudley drops the Turtles off in a parallel Earth to have fun for a few hours. They’ve entered the strange world known as “Riverdale.” Archie and Betty just happen to be nearby, engaging in a G-rated makeout session in Archie’s convertible.

Their sinful lust is interrupted when they witness a giant cow’s head spitting out four little green men. This understandably unnerves them, but they find that the locals at Pop’s Malt Shop are hardcore skeptics. After thoroughly mocking their friends, the teens leave for a Josie and the Pussycats show. Meanwhile, the Turtles disguise themselves and explore Riverdale. They run across Veronica, who doesn’t make a great first impression.

The Turtles watch as she’s taken into custody by “Infernal Revenue Service” agents who allege that she failed to claim several cash gifts on her last return. The Turtles explain the situation to the Archie gang when they come looking for Veronica. Jughead astutely points out that Veronica actually has no taxable income, being a rich daddy’s girl who doesn’t work, which makes the gang suspicious. Archie overcomes his fear of the little green men, as everyone crams into his convertible and looks for Veronica.

The Turtles soon spot the car belonging to Veronica’s abductors at a seedy motel (as seedy as it gets in Riverdale, at least). Jughead risks his life playing pizza boy, which distracts the kidnappers while the Turtles break into the motel room.

(Jughead’s really putting himself out there for someone who’s only shown him contempt in the past. Why isn’t Archie doing this?) The Turtles quickly defeat the kidnappers, just as Veronica’s father arrives with the ransom money. Mr. Lodge thanks the “oddly-dressed” heroes and offers to treat them to pizza at Pop’s. Everyone enjoys pizzas and malts, as poor Hot Dog watches enviously outside. Plus, it looks like Veronica has made up with Raphael. Enjoy it while you can, Raph. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes that there’s no money in ninja turtling.

Review in a Half-Shell: The Turtles meet Archie, and the story covers most of the things you would expect it to in twenty-two pages. Ken Mitchroney draws the Turtles while Stan Goldberg handles the Archie characters, which is similar to the way Archie treated the Punisher/Archie crossover. It’s really the best representation of both styles, and while there’s nothing that notable about the story, the characters are given enough room for some entertaining interactions.

I Love the (early) ‘90s: Veronica tells Archie and Reggie not to engage in any “slam dancing” at the concert when she sees Reggie hassling Archie.

Red Sails in the Sunset

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Don Simpson (art & letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

In this backup story, which takes place in-between issues #16 and #17, the Turtles and Man Ray are still on the beach after Bubbla’s funeral. Man Ray uses his Aquaman powers to call out to any nearby humpback whales that might be able to offer a ride. Instead, a mysterious pirate ship arrives. Onboard, the Turtles discover old skeletons and a locked treasure chest. Raphael opens it, inadvertently freeing the souls of the skeletons.

The Turtles fight the skeletons while Man Ray and April try to decipher the message left in a bottle onboard. They eventually realize that they have to bury the engraved woman on the ship’s masthead in the sand. After they follow the directions, the skeletons and the ship soon dissolve into nothingness.

The Turtles aren’t willing to forgive Raphael just yet, though. He must be punished.

Review in a Half-Shell: This actually has more action than the average issue of Adventures, and it’s only a few pages long. I guess zombie skeletons are the type of villains the Turtles should be facing in this series, since they can be slashed and hacked mercilessly without offending anyone. The real standout is Don Simpson’s art. He draws the strangest Turtles I’ve ever seen (with bug eyes, overbites, and scales…and I’m still not sure how I feel about them), but his depictions of the pirate ship, the skeletons, and the overall setting are fantastic. As ugly as his Turtles can look, he also manages to draw the most attractive April O’Neil yet (through his website, I see that Simpson has also done “adult” comics, so I guess he has experience with the female form). I honestly think this issue is worth tracking down just for this backup.

Pizza References: Raphael hopes to find coupons to Pizza Shack in the treasure chest.

Storm Drain Savers

Credits: Stephen Murphy (script), Jim Lawson (pencils), Peter Laird, Dan Berger, Michael Dooney, Steve Lavigne, & Eric Talbot (inks), Mary Kelleher (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

This originally ran as a give-away Earth Day comic from the Santa Monica Bay Restoration Project. It mainly consists of the Turtles walking through the sewers, pointing out garbage and telling you not to litter. It’s notable for Stephen Murphy being credited under his real name, and the five people it took to ink a four-page mini comic. There’s a “no plastics” stamp on the bottom of one of the pages, which is amusing. I guess all of that TMNT merchandise was made out of fairy dust and the innocence of a child’s dreams.

Origin of the Species

Credits: Ryan Brown (story), Doug Brammer (script), Dave Garcia (pencils), S. R. Bissette (inks), Mary Kelleher (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

In a story from the recent past, Bebop and Rocksteady steal a frozen caveman from a capsized ship. Shredder attempts to mutate him, which creates an out of control Mastodon Man.

(If this guy was never an action figure, that is a true shame.) The Turtles run across him in the streets, but soon realize that he’s hurt and confused, not evil. Bebop and Rocksteady arrive and blast the Mastodon Man into the frozen river. The Turtles try to save him, but the mutant drowns. Bebop and Rocksteady proudly fly away, leaving the Turtles to wonder who the real monster is.

Review in a Half-Shell: I’m not that familiar with Dave Garcia’s art, but the combination of his pencils and Stephen Bissette’s inks is very impressive. The story’s very straightforward, aside from the twist that the mutant is just misunderstood, which is actually pretty standard by this point. (How many of the mutants Shredder created actually ended up working with him? He should probably think about this.) The story’s just an excuse for the Mastodon Man to run around for a few pages, and it looks great.

What the Shell? : A young girl writes in to say that we should all learn from the animals, since they don’t kill, rape, and steal like people do. I’m not getting into the sheer naiveté of her statement, but I am wondering if this was the first (and only) time the word “rape” showed up in an Archie comic.