TMNT Adventures #27 – December 1991

In the Dark

Credits: Ryan Brown (plot), Doug Brammer (script), Ken Mitchroney (pencils), Gary Fields (inks & letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

It’s another inventory issue, and another story about evil corporations polluting the Earth. George and Benny, stand-ins for Of Mice and Men’s George and Lennie, are two blue-collar slobs secretly working for an incinerator plant. Their boss, Mr. Rutt, is paying them to dump toxic waste in the middle of the night. Rutt, being a caricatured evil industrialist, doesn’t think twice about kicking Benny’s cat into a toxic waste vat when it accidentally trips him.

Well, that’s the last we’ll see of the cat, right? If the story were to continue its Of Mice and Men riff, the cat was screwed anyway. Meanwhile, April O’Neil’s car has broken down on her way to Boston. She ends up in Innsmouth, Massachusetts, where the locals are far from friendly. The owner of a local diner feeds April a milkshake that makes her physically ill. The mulleted daughter of the owner, Beth Ann, tries to help April out, but April brushes her aside. I’m sure she regrets that decision a few minutes later, as the rest of the townspeople rise up against her, zombie-style. April reaches a pay phone and calls Michelangelo, who quickly earns his reputation as “the dumb one.”

Thankfully, the other Turtles don’t have learning disabilities and are able to understand that April needs help.

The Turtles hop into the Turtle Van (or “Party Wagon,” depending on your preference) and head for Innsmouth. They’re greeted by Beth Ann, who leads them in April’s direction. We learn that April’s been kidnapped by three mutants, identified in the indicia as Nevermore the Scarecrow, Nocturno, and of course, Hallocat.

The Turtles defeat the mutated products of human greed and toss them out of the window. When the Turtles later notice they’re not where they landed, Leonardo comments that no one could’ve survived their fall. That’s pretty bloodthirsty for the Archie series. A week later, April’s investigation shows that the angry mutants had been poisoning the town’s food supply with toxic waste, turning them into zombies. The incinerator plant is closed down, pleasing everyone except for the people who actually needed the jobs and services provided by the plant. Finally, the twisted mutants watch from the shadows as April leaves town.

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s more filler, so see the review from the previous issue. The ending is particularly weak, since we don’t even see Mr. Rutt go to jail; the plant just shuts down. So, everyone in town is punished just because this one guy was lazy/greedy and didn’t dispose of toxic waste properly. This isn’t a strong example of Ken Mitchroney’s work, since he isn’t that great of an April artist, and April is really the star for most of the issue.

Turtlemania: The Turtle Van appears for the first time in ages. The book hasn’t showcased the various vehicles for over a year at this point, so I wonder how long this inventory story sat around before it was published.

I Love the (Early) ‘90s: April uses something called a “pay phone” to contact the Turtles.

The White Ninja

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Garrett Ho (pencils), Mike Kazaleh (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Following last issue’s cliffhanger, Splinter is attacked by a ninja clad in white. Splinter isn’t much of a match for the ninja, but April does get one sword stroke in. The ninja suddenly disintegrates, Hand-style. April asks one of the men she tracked down where Chu Hsi and Fu Sheng are, and he replies “Hiroshima.”

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s another thirty-second read, so it’s hard to have an opinion either way. I believe the April back-up story becomes the main story next issue, so that’s a relief.

TMNT Adventures #26 – November 1991

The Keeper

Credits: Dan Berger (plot/inks), Doug Brammer (script), Ken Mitchroney (pencils), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

This is a filler issue; the first one in the book’s run so far. The story opens with Splinter receiving a message from T’Pau, the Yeti, while meditating. T’Pau warns Splinter of an alien that’s targeting other rare creatures around the planet. T’Pau asks for the aid of the Ninja Turtles, and Splinter agrees. The Turtles are up for the task, except for Michelangelo, who wants to stay home, watch cartoons, and eat pizza.

Splinter guilts him into going along because the “code of the ninja” demands they help others. (I thought ninjas were the assassins and criminals and samurai were supposed to be the honorable warriors?) Somehow, Splinter and the Turtles suddenly disappear and rematerialize in Tibet. This is a bit of a copout, as Splinter earlier claimed that the Turtles were going to find some way to fly to Tibet. It’s soon revealed that the alien teleported them closer to his location, but I think seeing the Turtles trying to sneak their way on board a flight to Tibet would’ve been much more interesting.

Anyway, the Turtles enter T’Pau’s lair, and discover he’s the captive of the alien.

The alien blasts the Turtles with a ray and they disappear, leaving Michelangelo alone. He gives the alien a decent beating, but the alien manages to push a button on his glove that makes everyone disappear. Michelangelo wakes up in a cell with T’Pau. They fight some security guards and make their way to the alien’s command center. There, they learn that Splinter and the rest of the Turtles are fine.

The alien is named Boss Salvage, and now that his translator is working, he explains that he’s just taking rare animals, such as the Loch Ness Monster, to safety. Why? Because (oh, here it comes) our Earth is horribly polluted, we’re all fools, and the planet is doomed. T’Pau argues with Boss Salvage, saying that people are starting to pay attention and help the Earth (one of the useful activities shown to help the environment actually includes protesting a nuclear power plant). Boss Salvage realizes that we can all make a difference and sends everyone home, making this the bestest Earth Day ever.

Review in a Half-Shell: This reminds of the type of story the cartoon used to do, except for the overblown preachiness that’s tacked on to the end. It’s not a very strong story in the first place, and adding yet another heavy-handed environmental message to the end makes the creators seem monumentally self-unaware. At least Ken Mitchroney’s back, though.

Pizza References: Michelangelo is rewarded at the end, as the Turtles are returned home just as April O’Neil arrives with their pizzas.

Questions

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Garrett Ho (pencils), Gary Fields (letters), Allison Flood (inks), Barry Grossman (colors)

April O’Neil tracks down the men who kidnapped Fu Sheng and Chu Hsi, but she can’t find her friends. Splinter appears and tries to interrogate one of the kidnappers, but he’s afraid of his ninja employers. Suddenly, Storm Shadow a ninja in a white outfit dramatically enters.

Review in a Half-Shell: This is only five pages long, and the only plot advancement is Splinter’s sudden arrival. I suspect one reason why I didn’t care for these backups as a kid is the number of months it took for the story to go anywhere.

TMNT MEET ARCHIE – Spring 1991

Green Legs & Gams

Credits: Ryan Brown & Dean Clarrain (plot), Dean Clarrain (script), Ken Mitchroney & Stan Goldberg (pencils), Ryan Brown & Rudy Lapick (inks), Mary Kelleher (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

It had to happen…the Turtles meet Archie. Plus, Josie and the Pussycats (but not Sabrina). The story begins as Cudley drops the Turtles off in a parallel Earth to have fun for a few hours. They’ve entered the strange world known as “Riverdale.” Archie and Betty just happen to be nearby, engaging in a G-rated makeout session in Archie’s convertible.

Their sinful lust is interrupted when they witness a giant cow’s head spitting out four little green men. This understandably unnerves them, but they find that the locals at Pop’s Malt Shop are hardcore skeptics. After thoroughly mocking their friends, the teens leave for a Josie and the Pussycats show. Meanwhile, the Turtles disguise themselves and explore Riverdale. They run across Veronica, who doesn’t make a great first impression.

The Turtles watch as she’s taken into custody by “Infernal Revenue Service” agents who allege that she failed to claim several cash gifts on her last return. The Turtles explain the situation to the Archie gang when they come looking for Veronica. Jughead astutely points out that Veronica actually has no taxable income, being a rich daddy’s girl who doesn’t work, which makes the gang suspicious. Archie overcomes his fear of the little green men, as everyone crams into his convertible and looks for Veronica.

The Turtles soon spot the car belonging to Veronica’s abductors at a seedy motel (as seedy as it gets in Riverdale, at least). Jughead risks his life playing pizza boy, which distracts the kidnappers while the Turtles break into the motel room.

(Jughead’s really putting himself out there for someone who’s only shown him contempt in the past. Why isn’t Archie doing this?) The Turtles quickly defeat the kidnappers, just as Veronica’s father arrives with the ransom money. Mr. Lodge thanks the “oddly-dressed” heroes and offers to treat them to pizza at Pop’s. Everyone enjoys pizzas and malts, as poor Hot Dog watches enviously outside. Plus, it looks like Veronica has made up with Raphael. Enjoy it while you can, Raph. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes that there’s no money in ninja turtling.

Review in a Half-Shell: The Turtles meet Archie, and the story covers most of the things you would expect it to in twenty-two pages. Ken Mitchroney draws the Turtles while Stan Goldberg handles the Archie characters, which is similar to the way Archie treated the Punisher/Archie crossover. It’s really the best representation of both styles, and while there’s nothing that notable about the story, the characters are given enough room for some entertaining interactions.

I Love the (early) ‘90s: Veronica tells Archie and Reggie not to engage in any “slam dancing” at the concert when she sees Reggie hassling Archie.

Red Sails in the Sunset

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Don Simpson (art & letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

In this backup story, which takes place in-between issues #16 and #17, the Turtles and Man Ray are still on the beach after Bubbla’s funeral. Man Ray uses his Aquaman powers to call out to any nearby humpback whales that might be able to offer a ride. Instead, a mysterious pirate ship arrives. Onboard, the Turtles discover old skeletons and a locked treasure chest. Raphael opens it, inadvertently freeing the souls of the skeletons.

The Turtles fight the skeletons while Man Ray and April try to decipher the message left in a bottle onboard. They eventually realize that they have to bury the engraved woman on the ship’s masthead in the sand. After they follow the directions, the skeletons and the ship soon dissolve into nothingness.

The Turtles aren’t willing to forgive Raphael just yet, though. He must be punished.

Review in a Half-Shell: This actually has more action than the average issue of Adventures, and it’s only a few pages long. I guess zombie skeletons are the type of villains the Turtles should be facing in this series, since they can be slashed and hacked mercilessly without offending anyone. The real standout is Don Simpson’s art. He draws the strangest Turtles I’ve ever seen (with bug eyes, overbites, and scales…and I’m still not sure how I feel about them), but his depictions of the pirate ship, the skeletons, and the overall setting are fantastic. As ugly as his Turtles can look, he also manages to draw the most attractive April O’Neil yet (through his website, I see that Simpson has also done “adult” comics, so I guess he has experience with the female form). I honestly think this issue is worth tracking down just for this backup.

Pizza References: Raphael hopes to find coupons to Pizza Shack in the treasure chest.

Storm Drain Savers

Credits: Stephen Murphy (script), Jim Lawson (pencils), Peter Laird, Dan Berger, Michael Dooney, Steve Lavigne, & Eric Talbot (inks), Mary Kelleher (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

This originally ran as a give-away Earth Day comic from the Santa Monica Bay Restoration Project. It mainly consists of the Turtles walking through the sewers, pointing out garbage and telling you not to litter. It’s notable for Stephen Murphy being credited under his real name, and the five people it took to ink a four-page mini comic. There’s a “no plastics” stamp on the bottom of one of the pages, which is amusing. I guess all of that TMNT merchandise was made out of fairy dust and the innocence of a child’s dreams.

Origin of the Species

Credits: Ryan Brown (story), Doug Brammer (script), Dave Garcia (pencils), S. R. Bissette (inks), Mary Kelleher (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

In a story from the recent past, Bebop and Rocksteady steal a frozen caveman from a capsized ship. Shredder attempts to mutate him, which creates an out of control Mastodon Man.

(If this guy was never an action figure, that is a true shame.) The Turtles run across him in the streets, but soon realize that he’s hurt and confused, not evil. Bebop and Rocksteady arrive and blast the Mastodon Man into the frozen river. The Turtles try to save him, but the mutant drowns. Bebop and Rocksteady proudly fly away, leaving the Turtles to wonder who the real monster is.

Review in a Half-Shell: I’m not that familiar with Dave Garcia’s art, but the combination of his pencils and Stephen Bissette’s inks is very impressive. The story’s very straightforward, aside from the twist that the mutant is just misunderstood, which is actually pretty standard by this point. (How many of the mutants Shredder created actually ended up working with him? He should probably think about this.) The story’s just an excuse for the Mastodon Man to run around for a few pages, and it looks great.

What the Shell? : A young girl writes in to say that we should all learn from the animals, since they don’t kill, rape, and steal like people do. I’m not getting into the sheer naiveté of her statement, but I am wondering if this was the first (and only) time the word “rape” showed up in an Archie comic.