The Wild, Ambitious, and Nixed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV

 

This week at CBR, I'm reviewing the scrapped TMNT IV screenplay...the first attempt to introduce a fifth Ninja Turtle, and what could've been Julie Strain's turn as an evil April O'Neil..

How Mini-Comics Revived a Canceled He-Man/TMNT Crossover

This week at CBR, I look at new He-Man and TMNT minicomics by the great Freddie E. Williams II, fulfilling the promise of a scrapped comic crossover.  

Japan's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Nintendo Port Did WHAT to April O'Neil?

 

Japan's first attempt at localizing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles created a bizarre change to the mythology that still amuses fans. I revisit the confusion this week at CBR.

The Many Lost (And One NSFW) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures

I revisit Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures for the first time at CBR...sort of. It's a look at the various lost comics from the book, including an (ahem) adults-only version produced in-house at Mirage. 

What Happened to Dreamwave's TMNT Reboot?

 

Transformers publisher Dreamwave hired a fan-favorite writer to reintroduce the Turtles…and there was one odd caveat. I continue my look at these early 2000s revivals of the 1980s this week at CBR.

Iconic Animator Peter Chung Unveils Classic Ninja Turtles & Transformers Art

 

This week at CBR, I chronicle some of the valuable art Peter Chung is releasing from his lengthy animation career. Everything from April O'Neil's yellow jumpsuit to Optimus Prime's death to the Rugrats' design...even before Aeon Flux, Chung was a part of your youth.

How Shredder (Finally) Faced 2003's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

 

This week, I revisit Shredder's full debut on the under-rated 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, and its connection to the earliest TMNT comics.

And, here are a few more sections that didn't survive a final edit...

DESIGN-Y

There's a nice use of shadow in episodes, as the Turtles face the mostly-black Foot Clan and Shredder in dark alleys and midnight rooftops. The show also has a great use of flashbacks, swapping out its standard color palette for a sepia-tone look when Splinter tells the story of his past.

HEY, I KNOW THAT VOICE

Veronica Taylor, the show's voice of April O'Neil, pops up in a bit part as a young boy who walks in on Donatello and an injured Michelangelo after they sneak into his bathroom. She uses the same voice here she used as Pokémon's Ash Ketchum.

The Birth of Comics' 1980s Retro Craze

 

This week, I launch a new series that looks back on the early 2000s trend of reviving 1980s toy and cartoon properties. It all started with a certain Wizard magazine article...perhaps the last significant contribution the magazine made to comics culture in this era.

And, because the editors saw fit to cut the justification for the title "Nostalgia Snake," here's the opening paragraph as originally written:

Welcome to the first installment of a new series I'm calling Nostalgia Snake, a look at a curious phenomenon from the past...the early 2000s revival of genre properties from the 1980s. The ouroboros  is an ancient symbol depicting a snake eating its own tail, usually viewed as symbolic of the concept of eternal cyclic renewal. Here, I'm talking about the twenty-year cycle of nostalgia. Just as fans were nostalgic for '80s properties in the early aughts, we've now reached twenty years since the revival of these properties. If the theory holds, this means people are now nostalgic for their nostalgia.

2003's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Kept All of the '80s in Casey Jones' Origin

This week, I'm looking back at the very 1980s debut of TMNT's Casey Jones, and how it was adapted for the 2000s. 

Did 2003's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Feature the Best TMNT Origin?

This week in Adventure(s) Time, I look back on 2003's TMNT origin episode, inspired by the Eastman and Laird issues...with some nods to the '80s show.

When the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Met (2003 's) April O'Neil

This week in Adventure(s) Time, it's the far more comics-accurate debut of April O'Neil...though in TRL-era fashions.

When the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Returned (the First Time)

This week at CBR, I'm looking back for the first time at the 2003 reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This series drew heavily from the original black and white comics, so if you have any specific episodes you'd like for me to cover, just let me know.

TMNT Video Collection from the FHE Days

The packaging art on these old FHE videos is pretty nice.  I'm assuming that Mirage was also in charge of this artwork, since all of the other merchandising art came out of Mirage.  It's amusing to see just how much the PR people who cut these commercials loved Michelangelo.  Even when he isn't the Turtle speaking in the clip, they dub in Michelangelo's voice!

Turtle Power - The Definitive (?) History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Paramount has posted the Turtle Power documentary for free on its YouTube page.  The focus is mainly on the early days of the comic and the initial effort to franchise the characters in the late 1980s.  Two things I was shocked to discover -- sitcom "legend" Chuck Lorre was the writer initially approached about developing the animated series, before he passed the job on to David Wise.  I knew Lorre wrote the theme song, but had no idea he might've written the actual series.

I was also stunned to learn Michael Ian Block and Robert Ben Garant of MTV's The State played Raphael and Michelangelo (?) in that horrific TMNT live rock show.  I wonder if they were the actors playing the parts on their Oprah appearance?

It's a fun doc, and worth your time if you have fond memories of the Turtles.

Now, for an opposing view...

BODYCOUNT #4 – July 1996

Credits:  Kevin Eastman (story & layouts), Simon Bisley (pencils & inks), Steve Lavigne (letters & colors), Altered Earth Arts (computer colors)

Pizza-Free Summary:  Raphael so enthusiastically joins the fight, Casey worries about his mental state.  As Casey is struck by a bullet, Martin convinces Midnight and Johnny Woo Woo to face each other one-on-one in Sanctuary.  After Martin reveals that Sanctuary was created as an arena where two competitors could resolve disputes, Midnight divulges Lord Dong’s motive for wanting her dead.  Dong knew of Midnight’s support of Sanctuary, and disapproved of her secret relationship with fellow employee Lee.  Dong also wanted Johnny dead, fearing him to be too powerful.  Johnny initially doubts that Dong wanted them all dead, but realizes that Midnight, his sister, is telling the truth.  He grabs her blade and commits suicide.  Nearby, Casey regains consciousness and reveals that the bullet struck a commemorative hockey puck he keeps near his heart.  Raphael lets go of his bloodlust and encourages Martin to end the violence.  He leads Raphael and the others out of his church, which he promptly firebombs.  Later in Hong Kong, Lord Dong receives one of Johnny’s metal hands, sent by his secret agent, Detective Choy.

Continuity Notes:  This miniseries seems to be ignoring Casey Jones’ relationship with April O’Neil, since he asks Midnight at the end of the story if she’s interested in him.  (In just a few months, we see Casey and April raising a kid together in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles volume 3.)  Also, in case you care, FBI agent Bode is accidentally killed by Choy’s assistant while they stand outside of Martin’s church.

Not Approved By The Comics Code Authority:  In addition to a couple of almost f-bombs, and of course more blood and guts, Midnight spontaneously changes outfits into a one-piece reminiscent of Vamperilla’s.  The outfit doesn’t seem to cover all of her areola, and not surprisingly, she’s still “poking” out.  (I’m posting a blurred version partially as a joke, but also because it is possible that a kid  Googling TMNT might find these posts.)

I Love the ‘90s:  Martin pulls out the Forest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates” line during the final pages.

Review in a Half-Shell:  Well, that unpleasantness is behind us now.  I remember Larsen ran a letter from a mother outraged by this comic, essentially to mock her and tell her that he isn’t responsible for raising her kids.  That attitude still perplexes me -- was it so outrageous that a mother assume a comic with a Ninja Turtle on the cover be suitable for her kid?  I’m sure the letter did make the woman come across as a little screwy, but taking this dismissive stance after TMNT has generated millions of dollars for its creators as a kid-friendly property is ridiculous.  If you take the money, you accept certain responsibilities as well.  Assuming this book was sold on the newsstand (I’m almost positive I saw the third issue at a Walmart), it would be safe to expect children were going to see it.  A parent who truly looked at the covers could’ve guessed this isn’t for kids, but I can understand why many parents would just assume anything Ninja Turtles was okay for little Timmy.  Of course, TMNT was dying out as a kids’ property in 1996, so no real controversy was generated, but to be so flippant towards the complaints seems needlessly arrogant.

After three consecutive issues of non-plot, the finale takes the route of the info-dump and clumsily explains the rationale behind all of the violence we’ve seen so far.  So, “Sanctuary” turned out to be Mortal Kombat all along, with a deranged lunatic running a fight ring inside an old church that’s supposedly going to lessen internal mob violence.  (The previous issues hinted that a mystical or supernatural revelation was coming, but whatever.)  Midnight was a target because of an unrevealed relationship with a character that hasn’t been mentioned so far, and oh yeah, she’s also Johnny Woo Woo’s sister.  Johnny Woo Woo is also a target of Lord Dong due to, as the internet likes to say “reasons,” and that’s supposed to explain everything that’s been going on for the past three issues.  All of this information is revealed in giant blocks of text that are awkwardly shoved into, surprise, another fight scene.  Speaking of those giant blocks of text, I don’t want to pick on the creative team for every misspelled word in this series, but I can’t let “there’s” being written as “they’re’s” go without comment.  Unless you speak English as a second language, “they’re’s” no excuse for that one.

As for the nominal stars of the miniseries, Raphael has a brief psychotic break, followed by a quickie realization that maybe violence isn’t always great after Casey Jones is apparently killed.  Casey is just fine, of course, and free to hit on the demure Midnight by the story’s end.  She tells him that she’s no good for him, the heroes go home, and there’s a tossed off comedy bit involving Detective Choy and his assistant (whose name I haven’t caught, if in fact it’s ever been given) selling roadside hot dogs as a part of their plan to move to Mexico.  This was all mindless violence, yet the final issue tries to feed us a story rationalization and an insincere moral lesson at the end anyway.  With the exception of the brother/sister revelation, none of the information saved for the final issue needed to be withheld for so long, and I can’t imagine anyone bought Raphael’s conversion from vicious lunatic to pacifist.  If you’re going to be publishing four issues of relentless violence, it’s better to present it in an imaginative way, or at least make it funny.  Outside of shock value, and a few pieces of nice art, there’s nothing memorable here.  

BODYCOUNT #3 – May 1996

Credits:  Kevin Eastman (story & layouts), Simon Bisley (pencils & inks), Steve Lavigne (letters & colors), Altered Earth Arts (computer colors)

Pizza-Free Summary:  Casey, Raphael, and Midnight escape with Courtney.  As the authorities close in on Johnny Woo Woo, Courtney takes the group to an abandoned church to meet the mysterious Martin.  Martin tells Midnight that she is “our” champion, but she’ll have to fight before she sees Sanctuary.  Meanwhile in Hong Kong, Lord Dong boasts that he will soon reunite East and West.  Johnny Woo Woo and his men invade Martin’s church, not long before the authorities and Dong’s personal army also arrive.  As Woo Woo massacres Martin’s men, Casey and Raphael raid their weapons closet and join the fray.

Continuity Notes:  Casey Jones finds his patriotic mask, the one he wears in the upcoming Image Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, inside Martin’s weapons closet.  For the record, Casey states that he hates guns, while Raphael decides this issue he loves them.

Not Approved By The Comics Code Authority:  More graphic violence, more profanity, and now nipple pokes make an appearance on literally every female character in the issue.

I Love the ‘90s:  Raphael’s opinion of the dilapidated church, “Looks like something outta that Crow flick!”

Review in a Half-Shell:  In fairness, the mindless violence is slightly less mindless this time.  This issue hints that Midnight is more than just the victim of a routine mob hit, and that she has some preordained destiny that places her in-between Lord Dong and the mysterious Martin.  Unfortunately, Martin is so “mysterious” that nothing he says comes across as coherent, while Lord Dong’s true motivation remains unknown.  (And if you think a cheap joke is made at the expense of Lord Dong’s name, you’re right.)  Making this more frustrating is the lettering, which has been filled with typos and missing commas for the series’ entire run.  This issue also suffers from some confusing balloon placement that ruins the flow of dialogue in a few scenes.  So, there’s a hint of a story now, but due to the choppy writing and lack of proofreading, piecing together what it’s supposed to be is simply annoying.

Simon Bisley delivers his best work of the mini so far this issue.  He’s given a wider variety of things to draw this time, so even if the reader still has to endure the numerous repetitive pages of people shooting at each other, the backgrounds look great.  The landscapes and architecture add some life to the book, and Bisley’s cartoony interpretations of the various armed goons are much more charming this time.  He’s obviously working from a weak plot, and I still find his female characters unappealing, but he does seem to be enjoying himself this issue.

BODYCOUNT #2 – April 1996

Credits:  Kevin Eastman (story & layouts), Simon Bisley (pencils & inks), Steve Lavigne (letters & colors), Altered Earth Arts (computer colors)

Pizza-Free Summary:  Casey, Raphael, and Midnight escape Johnny Woo Woo’s men and travel to Pittsburgh.  On their way, another encounter with Woo Woo leaves a gas station destroyed.  In Pittsburgh, Midnight is reunited with her friend Courtney, who will allegedly arrange her trip to “Sanctuary.”  Johnny Woo Woo finds Courtney’s hideout and another firefight ensues.  Meanwhile, Detective Choy is assigned the case and paired with FBI agent Bode.

Continuity Notes:  Midnight claims she was “just a driver” for the mob and doesn’t know the details of their activities.  Raphael is suspicious, and doesn’t want to be rewarded with Midnight’s mob money.  Raphael is also unable to fire a gun during the story’s opening, since his fingers won’t fit in the trigger hole.  He later rips off the metal surrounding the trigger and fires an Uzi for the first time.

I Love the ‘90s:  Raphael comments “I feel retarded!” while in disguise at Grand Central Station.  It seems unlikely a major publisher would let that line go through today.

What the Shell?:  During one of the action scenes, Raphael picks up a grenade, pulls the pin, throws it into a hot dog cart, and shoves the cart into Woo Woo’s henchmen.  Why go through this elaborate sequence, and destroy someone else’s property, when you could just throw the stupid grenade?

Not Approved By The Comics Code Authority:  More ultra-violence, including more than one depiction of a character (literally) getting his head blown off or a hole blown in his body.

Review in a Half-Shell:  Hey, let’s follow up the previous issue of continuous running and fighting with more running and fighting.  The major problem with the story so far is that Midnight remains a cipher, so there’s no investment in whether or not the mob catches her.  Casey Jones’ decision to aid her is also poorly justified, the only explanation being that he’s a sucker for a pretty face.  Raphael, for his part, is reluctant to go along with any of this, but eventually decides to just enjoy the violence.  (That part I don’t mind so much, and to Eastman’s credit, he does establish early on that Raph wants nothing to do with the mob.)  The weak plot was a given, but so far I haven’t seen an action sequence so great it justifies the series’ other flaws.

The only break from the violence comes in two cutaway scenes, and both are so flimsy it’s hard to really rationalize their existence.  One scene has Detective Choy being assigned the case based on an unrevealed history with Woo Woo, and the other has Woo Woo flashing back to his assignment from Lord Dong to kill Midnight.  He doesn’t particularly want to do it, but he’s a loyal soldier and he’s going through with the job anyway.  Regardless, Woo Woo remains a dull antagonist, one without the personality required to carry an all-action story.  The only redeeming feature at this point is Bisley’s art, which is fairly inconsistent.  I like his Raphael, and some of his detailed close-up shots of the various characters look amazing.  However, I don’t care for his shorthand figures (all of those no-neck men are distracting), and his female characters all look Hustler cheap.  

BODYCOUNT #1 – March 1996

Credits:  Kevin Eastman (story & layouts), Simon Bisley (pencils & inks), Steve Lavigne (letters & colors), Altered Earth Arts (computer colors)

Pizza-Free Summary:  Casey Jones is kicked out of a bar during a fight.  He lands on top of Midnight, who happens to be passing by.  She unexpectedly spots a car belonging to Johnny Woo Woo, her former partner in crime.  Midnight evades Johnny’s henchmen while flashing back to her last disastrous mission in Hong Kong.  She runs inside the bar, where Casey greets her again and offers help.  They’re cornered by Johnny Woo Woo and his men in the back of the bar, when Raphael suddenly enters from above.  With Raphael's help, Casey and Midnight escape.

Production Notes:  

• Bodycount #1 originally saw life as Mirage Publishing’s Casey Jones and Raphael #1.  (“Bodycount” was the name of the storyline, but not the official title of Mirage’s miniseries.)  The initial cover date was October 1994.  Mirage stopped publishing comics after the first issue was released, leaving the miniseries unfinished until Erik Larsen agreed to publish TMNT material through Image.  Re-released as Bodycount,the series ran as four issues (one of them the reprinted first issue), rather than the originally announced five.  Jim Lawson has a back-up story “Guzzi LeMans” in the original Mirage issue that isn’t finished in the Image series.
• Kevin Eastman was incorrectly listed as the penciler in the original Mirage printing of this comic; the Image version lists Bisley as the penciler and Eastman as the layout artist.
• Casey Jones and Raphael #1 had twenty pages, while Bodycount #1 includes six additional story pages.
• The cover date lists February 1996, while March 1996 is listed in the indicia.

Not Approved By The Comics Code Authority:  This was apparently the first TMNT comic consciously published for an adult audience.  It features numerous bloody battle scenes and several uncensored uses of the word “shit” (which was still incredibly rare in an Image comic of this era).

Review in a Half-Shell:  It’s not a secret that while Peter Laird leans towards Jack Kirby, Kevin Eastman’s tastes are much closer to Heavy Metal.  (You might even say Eastman is Heavy Metal’s biggest fan.)  That blend of influences brought a lot of life to the early Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stories, which jumped from sci-fi to martial arts to Silver Age Marvel to grindhouse street brawls.  It’s not that much of a shock that Eastman would want to do a grittier TMNT series with Simon Bisley, but I was surprised by how far they took the concept.  It’s one thing to declare that TMNT was never intended for small kids; it’s another to produce a comic that actively alienates the audience that made the concept a billion dollar franchise.

To be clear, Bodycount is trashy and dumb.  That doesn’t automatically mean it’s bad; I can enjoy trashy and dumb entertainment, you just have to know what you’re getting into.  The goal of the story is to churn out fast-paced action and violence while providing readers with the cheap thrill of seeing bloody gore and potty talk in a Turtles comic.  The influence is John Woo (you might have noticed a cleverly hidden homage to his name), which hints at an early problem with the plot.  Comics are static images, while film is constant movement.  A three-minute John Woo action scene properly translated into a comic would run around sixty pages, and would most likely test the patience of the average reader.  The violence in Bodycount is already tiresome before the first issue is up, so I’m not sure where the rest of the series has to go from here.  There’s also a basic storytelling problem that makes the debut issue a little too frustrating -- it’s hard to tell when the Hong Kong flashback begins and ends.  Upon a rereading, this was a little easier to discern, but the awkward transition is a barrier to understanding Midnight’s connection to Johnny Woo Woo.  

This clearly isn’t a story designed to make you think, just as it isn’t intended as all-ages fun, so it wouldn’t be entirely fair to judge it by that standard.  The action maintained my interest during the opening pages (which features that unique leathery texture of Bisley’s inks and nice digitally painted colors during Casey’s bloody bar brawl), but my mind wandered during the Hong Kong flashback, and by the end of the story I didn’t have a real interest in what happens next.  The combination Eastman/Bisley Raphael splash page, however, is one strong image.  I get the appeal of a street-level TMNT story focusing on Casey and Raphael, but I also feel that the excessive “adult” content comes across as trying too hard.  As a kid, the graphic nature of the project would’ve appealed to me, if only because of its forbidden nature.  As a teen, I would wonder why I should bother with the book when there’s more extreme material on HBO.  As an adult, I just shrug my shoulders.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: The Comic Strip - February 10, 1992 to March 13, 1992

Heaven’s in Here (Part Three)

Credits: Dean Clarrain (writer), Jim Lawson & Dan Berger (art), Mary Kelleher (letters)

Summary:  Now awake, Michelangelo attacks Brik and Brak.  Nearby, Donatello bypasses the spaceship’s defenses and gains control.  He flies back and joins Michelangelo in the fight.  While battling the aliens, Ka'kfa observes Donatello protect the life of one of his roaches.  Ka'kfa orders his roaches to turn on the aliens.  Brik attempts to end the battle by releasing another bomb, but Michelangelo shoves the dropping back into Brik’s orifice, seriously wounding him.  Brak is forced to admit defeat and agrees to leave Earth alone.  Ka'kfa decides to repay Donatello’s kindness by ordering his roaches to eat the gunk that’s encased Leonardo and Raphael.  

We're Killing the Earth! :  Michelangelo gives Brik and Brak extra lumps for attempting to create more greenhouse gases.  Later, as the Turtles exit, Ka'kfa agrees that nothing’s more important than saving the only Earth we have.

Review in a Half-Shell:  Aside from the gross-out factor, there’s nothing here that wouldn’t be at home on the old Saturday Morning TMNT cartoon.  More annoying is the strip’s tendency to repeat story beats for no apparent reason, which is on full display in the final days of this arc.  (For some reason, we need to see Mike throw Brik’s “stink bomb” back into his head-anus three days in a row.)  The cartoon at least had some level of irony in its strongest episodes; this storyline is extraordinarily sincere and lacking even one decent joke.  The Turtles fight some gross aliens and then the Cockroach King decides that he’s going to side with the Earth after all.  You should, too.  Now go recycle, you brats.  

That’s right, I’m outraged that this piece of children’s entertainment holds no value to me as an adult.  Seriously, I do realize that I’m far from the target audience for the strip, but the previous chapters showed a willingness to experiment with the format and to explore some of the deeper questions inherent in the TMNT concept.  I had some hope that the strip could truly be “all ages.”  This series of strips is a simplified version of material that we’ve already seen in the Archie book, and it wasn’t so fantastic the first time around.  But, hey, it does provide basic Turtles action for kids, and maybe Ka'kfa’s character arc meant something to a nine-year-old reading his parents’ copy of the paper while eating his box of Urkel-Os Sweetened Cereal.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The Arcade Game

A true classic from my childhood, the 1989 TMNT arcade game. (So many quarters...)