When the worlds goes to shit I make lists of Little Things

The sun rises. I visit nature for comfort in days of uncertainty of what the future holds... Lock down 2.0 starts tonight with some modifications from the first version... I've watched the numbers sky rocketing from 400 - 9000/day in just a few weeks and I can't help but wondering how we will ever be able to control this pandemic monster... I turn off all News channels, stop reading the updates. I don't want to hear one more word about Covid, the terrorists or the US election... Don't even go there...

 

I retreat into my own world, a world where I feel safe, a world I understand and can control more than the big one. A world where my actions makes an instant difference. Such as noticing to the Little Things that brings me joy. I list them in my head: a late blooming flower, a grazing cow, the sun rising above the the French Alps, a confused lady bug on my window sill, a cup of extra creamy coffee with a ginger cookie or two, my morning walks, a snuggle with my husband, a cat laying next to me on the couch in the evening, my big girl making me laugh-cry like no other can, an upbeat tune that makes me want to dance, a smile from a neighbor, a hot shower, dinner together every night, a hug from my teenage boy, a row of crochet, the freckles on my little girl's face, lighting candles, the sound of the wind and the smell of fall. Just to mention some. 

 

Stay strong, stay safe, stay optimistic. Be kind. Love is all around even if it at times doesn't feel like it. Even when it feels like the world has gone totally crazy and out of control... Escaping the big picture and diving into the little things soothes my worried soul. Do you too make lists of Little Things to sooth yourself when you feel overwhelmed? What's on your list? Little Things is what life is all about in the end. Little things makes for a brighter and more joyful world. Taking pictures of Little Things and writing about Little Things work as positive affirmations. So I keep on listing things that brings me joy: woolly socks, soft yarn, a water color painting, a handwritten birthday card, my fabric stash, Long Train Running by The Doobie Brothers, baking, Gogglebox on UK's Channel4, my big girl playing the piano... This too will pass... eventually. I mean, shit can't go on forever... Can it?

Kärlek
Annette

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The weekend, a messy shed, midlife crises and pretty views

We are at the last stretch of a two week long October break. I've enjoyed it to the full. This is the year of no plans so we've spent this school break at home. Luca Bo (who has started his four year long apprenticeship to become an awesome wood worker/carpenter/builder) has been working most days as he no longer can benefit from school vacations. I think he was a little bit upset when reality sunk in last week, being the only one who needed to get up at dawn while the rest of us slept in. I'm so beaming proud of my boy, who gets up at 5.30 am making himself a frothy coffee and grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast. He prepares his lunch sandwiches and get ready to leave the house an hour later to catch the bus before sun comes up. All by himself. As a mother with a built in supervising radar, I usually wake up about the same just to make sure he is up (without him even knowing... I just put my "Mama elephant ears" into practice and listen for noise from his bedroom or the kitchen and as soon as I hear him I turn around and fall back asleep...) and not one single time has he overslept. In fact, he has never ever missed a school bus or been late for school in his whole life. That is more than I can say about myself...

 

While Luca Bo has been working - learning how to set a tile floor, renovate a wooden chair and build a door (I love love LOVE that he has chosen this professional route, it is so him!!!) - the rest of us have had sleep in mornings and little on our agendas. As I work at an International school as an After School Carer, I have school break too and I've made the most of it by diving back into my crochet hobby. I've spent lots of time making slow but satisfying progress on my, for the moment, three WiP's:

• The Blanket Of Hope to stay sane

• The Cluster V-stitch baby blanket for unknown baby

• Some Thermal stitch potholders for my home

 

The weekend gave us fabulous autumn weather with crisp fresh air and sunshine. I decided to tidy up the shed, which was a complete disaster... Some of you might have seen it on my Instagram @myrosevalley. It was one of those spontaneous projects that you start on a whim with great enthusiasm and after 10 minutes you ask yourself: "Why on earth did I start this???" I stuck it through, dragged everything out, swept the floor, cleaned up all the mice poop, spider webs and dead bugs. Sorted, cleaned and re-arranged. I put up a number of big nails on the wooden walls to hang things. When all was done I was so chuffed with the result that I had to show it to every family member and get praised for my efforts (like a child... I know...)

"Oh Mama, you've done so well. It looks great. Bravo!!!" Bless my children for knowing I need praise just as much as they do.  

 

On Sunday Jay and I took a long walk chatting about future plans. As a couple in our early 50's and with only teenagers in the house nowadays (how did that happen?), things are changing dramatically for us all and you start to think about what is coming next... Who are we? What do we want to do? Where are we going? As much as our youngest Emmy Bo is having a challenging time with existential thoughts in puberty, I guess we are going through a bit of the same thing... It's all new to us and it is a bit of challenging times. I think they call it midlife crises... 

 

A friend once asked me:
"Annette, you - who always are in some sort of crises - can you help me because I think I'm having a crises and I don't know how to deal with it." 

 

Yep, that's me. And often I've been ashamed or annoyed of being that deep thinker, analytic person, questioning and putting to much thought into things... It hasn't been easy, it still isn't, but it is who I am and who I've always been. I guess you can say I've been in puberty crises, friendship crises, being single crises, changing job crises, love crises, moving country crises, getting married crises, becoming a mum crises, missing my home country crises, loneliness crises, who am I crises, low self esteem crises, I'm not good enough crises... Do you want me to go on?  Crises has such a negative sound to it though and I prefer to call all these things challenges of life. 

 

As we travel on this journey through life, obstacles will occur and we will find ways to get around them. We will find solutions. And if we didn't have these challenges that forces us to reflect upon where we are, what we are doing and what we really want, how on earth would we be able to grow and dare to open doors to new exciting paths that might, or might not, lead us to new places, people and personal growth? I'm not saying that it is at all easy, but I do believe we sometimes have to stop and reflect on which path to take next. 

 

So anyway, we went on this beautiful afternoon walk up the mountain above our house and chatted lightly about this next phase in life. "The middle aged couple with grown up kids" phase. What does that mean? I'm not sure. I can recall so many people telling me throughout the years to really enjoy and cherish the time I have with the kids because one day they will be big and wanting to leave the nest... And I guess I always knew that, of course, but even if I did it has kind of sneaked up on me. It feels like it has all happened so suddenly. I just didn't really see (with emphasis on that word "see"...) it coming. Now I am the one saying the same thing to other mothers with young children. So bizarre... Time passes so quickly without you even noticing. Today is coming to an end already and a new day is to arise... and so life goes on. Somehow it feels like time is passing quicker and quicker the older I get. Do you feel the same way?

 

At the end of the weekend I packed up my crochet, put away all my "bench time props" and closed the now tidy and organized shed. It really was an awesome, productive and relaxed weekend and although this week has been a bit hectic so far, I'm still making the most out of my "staycation", focusing on what I want to do instead of what I should do. And who knows... maybe this "staycation" will continue for a while... I suspect a new lock down might soon be reality... Corona is not giving in... quite the opposite. 

 

Take care my lovelies. Stay safe. But live. Don't forget to make the most of every day you have on this planet. And if that is making big changes, taking action on projects or just chilling with crochet, you decide.

 

 

Kärlek
Annette

FOLLOW  My Rose Valley HERE:

It's ok to cry

The autumn sun. How I love the autumn sun. How it spreads a golden layer over the fields, tree tops, roads and houses. I'm in the car, listening to some gentle tunes from my Chill & Dream playlist. I'm trying to catch the feeling. The bus stops in front of me and lets people off. Young and old, I can't see their faces. They are covered in masks and something inside of me just bursts in that moment... this is so surreal. How did we end up here? I'm not sure if I can take more of... of what? Just everything!

 

I've had a shitty day. Work at school was extremely busy, loud, challenging. Just a constant running around. Lively kids pushing limits non stop, more than usual. I'm tired. Really really tired...

 

As if drama at work wouldn't be enough, the drama at home seem to escalate by the day. There is always a drama of some sort. Being a teenage Mum really puts you to the test at times. Small kids, small problems - big kids, big problems you know... It is just more challenging emotionally I find. It's no longer black and white, yes and no... it's a constant grey zone of negotiation, understanding. listening, balancing pros and cons, give and hold back... So, a tear finds its way down my cheek and I decide to not hold back and just let them flow for a minute. Because everything has just piled up throughout the week. It's been a stressful week needless to say. I guess it all had to come out in tears at some point. 

 

I'm not afraid of emotions. I've learned that crying can be a relief, a good way of rinsing yourself from heavy loads of stuff, all kind of stuff. It's like the fogginess of frustration, stress, hurt, pain, helplessness, sadness - whatever it is -  evaporates with every tear. Afterwards I always feel more clear in my mind, focused on finding solutions instead of being trapped in negativity. So I cry in the car the last kilometer going back home...

 

I arrive home, park the car. I don't shout a cheerful "Hello!" as I always do. Instead I go straight upstairs, change work outfit to cozies, woolly socks on. I salute Jay who prepares dinner in the kitchen, grab a beer and go outside to my bench, sit myself down, feet on the table. I can see the French Alps sticking up behind the bee hive church. It feels great to just sit there while the sun goes down, watching Jay by the stove inside in the kitchen. I drink my beer in silence, let thoughts flow and after a while I feel ready to go back in and take part of family life inside. A family life I do treasure and love deeply. Including all the good, bad and the ugly. I wouldn't want it any other way. My family is my everything. 

Kärlek
Annette

FOLLOW  My Rose Valley HERE:

Covid is that annoying mosquito in the room

Hello my lovelies. Thank you for popping in to my world here in Blogland the last couple of days. I'm really enjoying having you around. These last days have been just crazy. Prepare yourself for a bit of a download from my end... 

 

First Nelly announced on Saturday morning that she was a Covid positive "close contact" which meant we all had to figure out how that effects us as a family, with school and work. Suddenly I felt caught off guard not knowing who to turn to, who to contact for advice. Luckily we were given a Health & Safety guideline brochure from work at the beginning of the school year and I turned to that, finding detailed procedures for any Covid scenario imaginable, links to websites and a Covid Hot Line phone number. To begin with we decided to quarantine ourselves until further notice from the authorities.

 

The Covid Hot Line declared that Nelly Bo was to self isolate for 10 days and to do a Covid test 5 days from latest contact with the Covid positive person. A lady called and confirmed Nelly Bo's status, interviewed her regarding the transmitting situation and told us the federal council of Switzerland would contact us with more information and send a "Covid situation certificate" to show for school and work. They also told us that as long as no one in the household are showing symptoms, the rest of the family can just continue their life like normal. Hmmm... doesn't make sense to me but ok...  I'll follow the instructions given right? 

 

We waited and waited and no one called. We called the Hotline again on Sunday and then once more on Monday, receiving the same information as before (at least they were consistent in their information) but still nothing from the authorities. Nelly started to get nervous and stressed about missing out on school, falling behind on the big test week before mid-term break, teachers chasing her and wondering why she didn't come in to school, wanting her to validate her absence... not being very understanding or patient. On Monday Jay took Nelly Bo and Luca Bo to get tested and 24 hours later we got the result: NEGATIVE. Phew! 

 

Knowing that Nelly Bo hasn't caught Covid from her friend felt good. She still has to fulfill the full 10 days of isolation, however in a household of five where we dine and hang out all the time, share bathrooms, towels, open doors and cupboards, grab jam jars and milk bottles... you get it. I'm not surprised that this virus spreads so quickly as it is almost impossible to avoid if someone in your family gets it. Even if she spends most of her time in her room she will have to leave it to go to the toilet, get food, take a shower... And then I'm continuing going to work and... I don't know. I'm just confused. Luckily Nelly Bo is negative, but even before we knew that, the authorities told us to go to work and school... Is it just me who thinks that is weird? Shouldn't we all have isolated ourselves until we received the test result?

 

Anyway, after days of waiting we found out that the Covid department currently is overwhelmed by new cases and can't keep up with all reports and that is why it took four days for the authorities to finally confirm that Nelly Bo was put in self isolation following the federal protocol and regulations. Finally she now has a document validating her absence from school. What a roller coaster of emotions its been. Crying one day. Feeling ok another. Just to fall into tears again because of not knowing or getting any answers...

 

Yeah, what can I say. Covid is like that annoying mosquito in the room that you can't see. It goes quiet and you think that now it is gone, things are good, I won't get bitten. And then when you least expect it it comes back annoying the hell out of you buzzing in your ear, putting everything to a stall, winding up that inner fear and confusion once more. 

 

This "new normal" is not an easy life. I escape to my yarn basket and my Blanket Of Hope WiP (see previous posts on this project below)... It feels like the only thing I can do. And I really want to finish this blanket before the end of the year. Snuggle up under it. Feel the comfort of every stitch that has helped me to stay sane, calm and to breathe through this messed up year. I couldn't have done this without my yarn and hook... So far we are lucky to not have lost any loved ones, no one of us has yet gotten sick... I just wonder though if it is just a question of time... My thought goes out to all of you who already have been victims of this virus in some way. I can't even imagine the stress and pain you've been through... but keep on fighting, staying safe and look after each other. As they all say: This too will pass. I just wonder when? 

 

 

Previous posts and tutorials on The Blanket Of Hope:

Crochet circles - a Blanket Of Hope 

Blanket Of Hope - Part 1: Supplies & Facts

Blanket Of Hope - Part 2: The Circle pattern

Blanket Of Hope - Part 3: Circle in square pattern

 

 

 

Kärlek
Annette

FOLLOW  My Rose Valley HERE:

October in my garden

Hello my lovelies! It's been grey and rainy for quite a good week now. The temperature dropped from jolly 25-27 degrees  to chilly 10-12 over night last week. Autumn is here for sure and I haven't been out in the garden since the sun disappeared. But yesterday late afternoon it cleared up and the light was amazing. I pottered around,  took pictures and planned in my head what I want for this garden next year.

We have suffered an infestation of grubs (won't show you any here, they destroy the beauty of this post...) this year. They are all over our garden and are killing all our plants, vegetables, bushes, the grass... you name it. It's been a disaster and the garden has never looked so poorly and beat up. It is out of our control and all we can do is to just hope it will go away on its own. However, some flowers are still hanging in there, like the Dahlias and some herbs. Slightly bloomed out but still gorgeous.

We had a great tomato year and the yellow cherry tomatoes were by far the sweetest and most flavorful kind I've had. We've been eating them like candy and once Jay made the most delicious yellow tomato sauce with pasta. Just tomatoes, garlic, salt and pepper and some olive oil, some shredded Parmesan cheese on top... What more do you need for a great dish? It was amazing!

We got a big and bushy kale plant, I'm just waiting for the first frost to come before harvesting. They say the frost makes kale more tender. I'm actually not a big fan of kale but as this is a so called super food I just have to give it a chance, right? I would love to make some kale chips in the near future. And then maybe I'll try it in smoothies, pies, pastas...

The zucchini plant has fed us well but now I think it is done for the year. It is amazing how many zucchinis one plant can grow. I think we've picked 20-30 of them? The best was picking them small and delicate, cook them soft and tender and serve the cut in half length wise and serve as a side dish with some butter, salt and pepper. D E L I C I O U S! When October break comes around we'll rip it all out, veggies and plants, to really nourish the soil the best we can in hope for a more productive and beautiful garden next year.  

 

I love being in my garden with crisp cold air and the sun finding its way in with its golden light. It is so incredibly beautiful this time of the year. It makes me feel like I'm in Sweden at the summerhouse, with wellies on, unflattering baggy jeans and oversized gingham garden jacket. Liberty to just be.

Something else that puts a stop to the liberty is this Covid Beast. We are currently having a Covid19 situation in our household and we are trying to figure out what measurements to take come work/school week starting tomorrow... We are not directly effected by Covid ourselves, but one of Nelly Bo's closest friends has tested positive and they had lunch sharing food the other day. She is now on this boy's "Close contact" list. She has already started her quarantine of 10 days and tomorrow she will do a Covid test. For the rest of us I'm not sure what we are supposed to do. I'm confused. The information is not so clear in my opinion. I think we'll get ready to go to school, apprenticeships and work like normal, but it doesn't feel great... Hmmm... Hopefully we get some information from the authorities this afternoon to bring some clarity to the situation. 

Anyway. I should go for a quick walk before the rain comes. Hope you all are having a smashing Sunday. Sending lots of hugs and love from my home to yours. Until next time - take care!

 

PS:  I seriously dislike Bloggers new edit mode and I'm sorry for it looking awful when posting (gaps between pics etc... I can't fix it). It is close to impossible to use. A real dinosaur layout... I need to change platform. Anyone who can help me? 

PS 2: I think I fixed the gaps... I hope so.

 

 

Kärlek
Annette

FOLLOW  My Rose Valley HERE: