Giving ~ Day 3

"I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be. Martha said to me, very quietly: There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.
The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”

Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille

Don't you love it when positive, life-affirming thoughts appear on your Facebook feed? Yesterday morning this quote was among the first to appear to me...and I have to say that it both stirred me and stuck with me through the day. {Thanks, Sean}

I confess that, in this era of self-promotion, I tend to be an if-you-build-it-they-will-come kinda gal. The notion of openness ~ of tuning out the noise and tuning into my inner voice ~ resonates deeply. things get confusing from there ... Because when I put myself 'out there' the insecurities take over. I begin to ask if anything that I say or do or write or create is needed in the vast, roaring ocean of ALL that is available from ALL over the world and ALL sorts of people ... when that question, the question of my worth or value, becomes louder than the urges, the notions, the beautiful ideas that motivate me ... when that bully that calls herself "comparison" taunts me in the schoolyard ... well, then I retreat. I sit back. I hold back. And I atrophy just a tiny bit. 

Yesterday's walk in the woods reminded me, yet again, of that often quoted notion that leaves grow old so beautifully. Their aging is so full of light and color! The older I get, the more I'm inspire by this vision of aging! And, though the leaves create a glorious scene when dancing together, it is ~ perhaps ~ each unique, individual leaf that most captures my attention. 

So, I will blog and write and post and photograph and open my home and craft ~ because this is how my energy most fully expresses itself. I will keep myself open...and I might even try to believe in myself.



From this morning's journal:

Give Away: Today I listen for the word "should" ~ and with each should I give away the notion of obligation and take a moment to question myself. Is there a way to turn the "should" into a choice, the "must dos" into opportunities? Some shoulds might be able to be discarded ... I imagine most are simply calling for a mind change. A perspective change. Today I give away the thought that anything in my life is a "have to."

Give Access: Today I give myself access to rest. Early to bed. My body told me first thing this morning that it was craving more rest. I will listen.

Give Thanks: Today I am grateful for healing. Emotional and physical healing. I'm grateful for the caregivers ~ for those who inspire physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual growth. I am grateful for healing.

Joining Tamar and Kat

the more things change, the more they stay the same

I love old stuff.

Always have.

Especially old stuff that has a connection to my family.

These old milk bottles,

and the pretty butter dish,

were on display at our town's little museum.

Funny how these days

we've returned to choosing glass containers

for food storage.

And funny how old gems like these

seem to be all the rage in wedding and home decor.

Fine with me.

Cause I really love old stuff!

Linking up with

Little Things Thursday

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

and

Weekend Reflections

Museum Reflections

A small journey back in time

always stirs my heart

and sharpens my reflection.

{Town History Museum, Salem Town Hall, Salem, NH}

Sharing with

Little Things

and

Weekend Reflections

Those Darn Cookies

Cookies have never made me cry.

Oh, I've cried many rivers of tears over food and dieting and, well, food. But never specifically over cookies. When I have cravings, they're more along the lines of pizza/chips/cheese/bread. You know, the salty cravings. But cookies? Never shed a tear for them.

Yesterday I was in the grocery store. I wasn't in a hurry ~ just enjoying some time thinking about fixing my son some of his favorites and putting together a goodie bag for him as he moved into his new apartment. He's got a great new roommate and a new place in Boston, and I'm so happy for him! It's been a long time coming. He's endured the post-collegiate-have-to-live-at-home-if-I'm-gonna-pay-back-my-student-loan phase very well. And he's handled it all so responsibly. He's earned this freedom! Literally.

So, there I was in the grocery store, filling my cart, trying to remember all the ingredients I'd need for his beloved mac-n-cheese and his adored shepherd's pie. And I thought, "Oh, I know! I should also find his favorite cookies to send with him. That would make him happy!" Off I went to the cookie aisle. Sure enough, there they were. His mint chocolate Milanos. As I reached out to grab them and put them in my cart, I got all choked up. Seriously choked up. Then the tears started flowing. Right there in the cookie aisle. In the middle of Market Basket, the memories came flooding back. All the grocery trips that we've taken together...from little guy riding in the carriage, to young man keeping me company.....uh-oh, hear come those darn tears again!

I'm telling you - this motherhood thing never ceases to surprise me. And fill me. And empty me completely! It's a wonder how we manage to feel exuberantly happy, profoundly proud, achingly nostalgic and just plain sad all in the same moment. But if you're a mom, I know you know exactly what I'm talking about! I just hope, for your sake, that it doesn't all catch up with you in the middle of Market Basket.

Cause as of yesterday afternoon, I can no longer say that cookies have never made me cry.

Joining Mama Kat Writer's Workshop and Little Things Thursday

Finders Keepers

Finding old photo albums is like discovering a gateway to the past.

This tattered, mildewed and decaying old wedding album was begging to be cherished.

The photos it held were suffering,

as the album was no longer fit to house the treasured memories.

Over the weekend, I took apart the old book

and gently separated the photos from the paper they were glued on to.

Inspired by the elegant shots,

I came up with a simple plan to showcase the bride and groom

in a fresh, new album ~ simple mounting, delicate accents.

Let the photos tell the tale.

I hope William and Dorothea are happy in their new dwelling place.

It's good to know that they are safe here...

preserved in a way that will endure.

No more yellowing.

No more tatters or decay.

No more fading away.

No, they now become a lasting treasure

just waiting to hear the gleeful cries of their great children

{or their great greats}

as they exclaim,

"Oh my! Look what I've found!"

Joining

Little Things Thursday

and

Mama Kat's

Red Sox Reflection

Red Sox fans are everywhere.

This summer I ran into one on a lakeside trail in Oregon!

I spotted the cap,

and then noticed that the guy in the cap was trying to take a selfie.

{a boyfriend/girlfriend selfie}

So, of course, I offered to take a pic or two for them.

We got to chatting

{please don't tattle on me.

I'm not sure the rest of my family likes it that I chat with nature-trail strangers}

He's a sox fan cause he grew up with Jacoby Elsbury.

He's planning a trip to Boston.

Said there were three things he wants to see:

Fenway Park

The brick line on the sidewalk

{otherwise known as the Freedom Trail}

and

The Oldest Sports Bar in the Country.

Well, that last tourist destination made me laugh!

My son is one of the managers at that "historic" land mark.

A bar, otherwise known as McGreevy's,

that dates way way back.

As many things in Bean-town do.

So I pointed across the lake,

told that guy that the kid fishing on the other side was one of the bar managers

and gave him my son's name.

Who knows, maybe someday he'll really drop in!

I then, of course, asked him if he could stand really still.

Cause on top of his sox hat

there sat a great pair of camo-reflective sunglasses.

And I could see the sky and the great Oregon pines.

And I wanted a pic.

Don't tell anyone about that either.

My poor family would be so embarrassed!

Linking to

Mama Kat's, Little Things and Weekend Reflections

Stillness

fire engine red

you caught my eye

tip toe i did

had to try and try

until still you stayed

and let me near

thank you little creature

who i hold dear

Joining Tamar for Little Things

Now

"Life is all memory,

except for the one present moment

that goes by you so quickly

you hardly catch it going."

Tennessee Williams


The present moment.
Saying "yes" to the present moment
and surrendering to the now.
We hear it.
We think it makes such good sense.
I know I do.
Not dwelling on or in the past.
Not agonizing over the future.
Nope.
None of that.
Just living fully in the present.
I don't know about you,
but this concept,
like so many that we believe to be fundamental - 
reasonable, good for us, life affirming -
are so much easier to understand than to actually
put
into
practice!

If there's anything that a hummingbird can teach us -
and there are probably lots of things -
it is that notion that something is fleeting.
Something is flying by you so quickly
you hardly catch it going!
It seems very poignant to me when a hummer
settles on a branch in the midst of its busy buzzing about.
And, perhaps, even more so when it seems to pause -
to hover -
in mid flight.

This small,several second,
point of stillness seems to perfectly illustrate
that elusive notion of
'the present moment'

My little Oregon hummer seemed to be showing me,
as one day closed and the next was not yet known to us,
exactly what
NOW
looked like.
And felt like.

I'm oh so glad he paused like this,
just for me...
as if he had plenty of both wisdom and presence to share.




Joining Kat and Tamar

Six {vacation} Favorites

Our trip to Central Oregon this year was, as always, delight-full.

Not only was there family

and fun and lots of R & R...

but there was plenty of time for me to play with my camera!

Here are my favorite "critter" pics from our vacation.

1. The House Cats.

OJ and Buddy have recently "earned" the privilege of being let outside during the day.

It was fun to get to photograph them as they ventured out...

off the deck and through the weeds.

2. The Doves

We were serenaded throughout the trip by the cooing doves.

It was the first sound I registered every morning.

In the side yard,

where they are treated to lots of food,

I enjoyed watching the light catch the white in their feathers as they flew from place to place.

3. The Deer.

These guys probably deserve a post all their own.

Every morning and evening four or five deer wander into the yard and find food 

that's been set out for them.

They are beautiful creatures!!

This year I loved that little OJ the cat wasn't spooked by them - 

not at all!

He often wandered right up to them during their visits!

4.  The Hummingbirds

Always an obsession of mine while I'm at my in-laws.

This little guy "posed" for me a ton.

In reality, he found a good "lookout post" atop a juniper tree.

He'd come and set a spell...until he saw other hummers head for the feeders,

then he'd go and chase them off.

He was kind of a little brat.

But pretty cute none-the-less!

5. This Dragonfly

This is an iPhone moment.

On our first trip to our favorite lake ~ home to most all of my favorite dragonfly pics ~

this guy greeted me. Welcomed me!

He just sat there as my macro iPhone lens moved in towards him.

I couldn't believe it!!

Such a poser!

6. Some "human" Critters

We were treated to many beautiful sunsets during our two week stay.

One night the sky was particularly dramatic ~

there was a storm out over the valley, but we could see the clearing coming through at the same time.

We sat for several hours...

chatting,

watching the sky and the lightening...

and doing what human critters do so well...

recording the sight on whatever device we had with us!

Stay tuned...

many more vacation pics to come!

Joining Kim and Kat and Eileen

Reflections on a summer's eve...

The sitting.

And the sipping.

The chatter, the laughter, the tasting and the memories.

The forging of a new memory

and the slow dance to the musings of days gone by.

This is the stuff that glorious summer evenings are made of.

I know there will be many more such evenings

on Wheeler Ave.

Evenings under the red umbrella,

surrounded by family and friends...

This is why we were led to this place,

our new home.

It is a place to gather,

to give and to

grow.

{also...for you wine lovers out there... those who were sipping HIGHLY recommend this vino!}

"Fan the sinking flame of hilarity
with the wings of friendship;
and pass the rosy wine."
Charles Dickens



Joining Kim and James

Regatta Reflections

Several weeks ago I journeyed further north in my new home state to a town called Hookset. The daughter of a good friend (who lives in Maine) was in a regatta and I used the race as an excuse to do a little exploring and to hang out with my friend! It was a picture perfect day, and we thouroughly enjoyed our time along the banks of the Merrimack River.

In order to keep boats from rambling too close to a dam/waterfall/power plant, these delightfully orange floating balls were strung all the way across the river. I couldn't help but be attracted to the reflection they made on top of the water!

Once at the boating club, I enjoyed watching the hustle and bustle that comes with readying the shells and getting them, the oars and the rowers on to the river. Truth be told, the travel, unloading, prep and re-loading take considerably longer than the race itself! My camera lens and I were, of course, on the look out for reflections the entire time!

My friend's daughter is the one with the pretty smile, not the one reflected in the shiny boat! It was really fun to get to watch her do what she so enjoys!

"Rivers know this:

There is no hurry.

We shall get there someday."

A. A. Milne

Linking with Kim for
Little Things Thursday

Joining James for

Weekend Reflections

Town History

Nestled next to the original town hall in Salem NH is an old graveyard. 

Most of the headstones date back to the mid 19th century, 

not a bit unusual for a New England cemetery. 

I stopped by for a short wander yesterday afternoon.

It was a beautiful day,

and I was happy for an excuse to delay my trip to the grocery store.

Centuries collided as I caught sight of my shadowy self,

armed with my ever present iPhone,

on the side of an almost 200 year old tomb stone.

The irony...

I think this is my favorite shot from my short walk.

The vibrant, green sprig of new life

caught the light

(and my eye)

against the backdrop of this fallen head stone.

I couldn't help but be struck by thoughts of the cycle of life.

How many snowy winters and leafy springs have come and gone

since this dear Anna passed?

Hundreds.

With many more to come...

There were life stories carved into a hand full of stones...

...but most just carried a name and a date and, perhaps, the mention of a relationship.

As I was heading to my car,

the gentle simplicity of this stone caught my eye

and tugged at my heart.

I do love a good wander through an old grave yard.

Just as I love a good treasure hunt.

You see, as I wandered yesterday,

I was searching for the letter K.

Why, you ask?

Well...this year I've participated in a project 365 group on Instagram.

And yesterday's prompt was "K" ~ which was harder to find than I'd imagined.

Just as I was about to give up,

at the far end of this peaceful, reverent old place,

I found the Kelly family.

Once again, the centuries collided...

...and I got to share just a bit more about my new home town

with my little Instagram world.

Joining Kim and Kat

Reflections of a Scrapbooker

A little over a decade ago, I was introduced to a scrapbooking company called Creative Memories. While the company has suffered some corporate ups and downs during that time, one thing remains true - I'm a fan. I love the basics, the core products that define who they are {have always been} to the scrapbooking world. All my my family memories are preserved on the pages and in the albums that they produce. And the tools that I most enjoy working with are made by them. As with any creative industry, there's a wide variety of choices out there ~ and I'm not one to be exclusive to any one brand...but for the basics of my craft, I'm a CM girl at heart. And I'm glad to see them thriving once again!

As the late afternoon sun poured into my new scrapbook studio yesterday, I was working with some photos and was, yet again, struck by how much I enjoy using the tools of the trade. There are a set of blades that CM makes whose little peg legs fit into the grooves of multiple plastic shapes. Once those legs are set inside the groove, they follow the track around the shape and - presto - in seconds you have a perfectly cut circle. Or oval. Or star....the possibilities are numerous!

Now, I know this isn't for everyone.

But as someone who enjoys freeing her photos from their digital holding cell, and using them to tell stories of all kinds, these tools have provided me with hours and hours of fun!

In the afternoon light, the little blade's reflection caught my eye ~ and I couldn't help but take this 'work in progress' shot. Cause that's just what my blogging/gramming/scrapbooking self does!

Linking to

Little Things Thursday

and

Weekend Reflections

Backyard Beauty

And to add to the whole we-own-a-house excitement,

said house has a flowering tree in the back yard.

Color me delighted!

The pink blooms have lured some sweet song birds to visit our humble abode...

and many enjoy hanging around with us!

Yesterday a dear friend brought me a bird feeder as a house warming gift!!

Watch out little birdies, you're about to get spoiled!

Joining Kim and Kat